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Sweet Freedom

It feels like it's been ages since I was able to feel my physical body stretch, joints in tail, spine, and arms all creaking and popping where needed, getting me to let out a very contented purr. The idiot is still asleep, now in the back of our head and thank the goddess for that. He's going to be furious when he wakes up.

A stirring next to me reminds me of the previous night's conquest. A kind hearted, well off hyena who is drop dead sexy in all of the best ways, I think. Yeah my opinion's my own, but it's a damn good one. I roll over in the faint light afforded by thin curtains veiling the rising sun and loop one leg around the spotted hyena's. He stirs again, yawns wide to show that mouth full of ivory daggers, and only then does a gray-green eye crack open. "G'morning, Carter," I murmur to him, a smile showing off my own pearly whites. It's fortunate that he only knows us as Parker, as that's one of the only things we have in common, it seems. I haven't searched through this drunkard's memories yet, but I can tell they're going to be spotty.

Carter stretches, much like I did, and then I get a little thrill when those sturdy arms tug me in against his chest. Happily, I oblige him with a muzzle right up against his collarbone. I can't tell which of us is more pleased at that moment. I even purr for him, which I'm sure he hasn't ever experienced from another ringtail, at least not like this. For a cacomistle, I purr like a pro and I know it. Even a semi-unfamiliar body can't stop that; besides, Dakota and I are alike enough for it to not matter.

"I didn't think you'd still be here when I woke up," he whispers to me, staying quiet to not break the early morning magic. I feel his nose against my head and let out a barely noticed sigh. This is what I missed from my life. Why I messed up. I needed to find a comfort like this for the control that it gives me.

You could kill him with little more than a thought.

You've gone soft, Zachary.

The dark whispers get me to tense up, but firm paws down my back and over my tail turn it into shivering. Just like that, I can push the thoughts away. I don't know him, but that doesn't mean I should kill him. Someone who can bring that drunkard I now share a body with under control deserves more consideration than that. Though he's got some good skills, good policies, I guess. Not every slum kid is bad at everything, I suppose.

"I wouldn't have missed it, spotty," I tease, fingers finding where the spots end on his waist. He's not ticklish, I can tell, but he squirms for me all the same.

"You're a bit more forthcoming than you were last night, ringtail." He retaliates with teeth to an ear, gentle as can be. Such a strong body with such a kind heart. I immediately want him like this forever. I will have him.

The other ear flicks against his muzzle and my nimble claws find the curve of his hips, sliding inward and downward till I get a shudder from the stronger male. "I'm a bit more here, this morning," I say against his neck, muzzle tipped up to press against it. "And I didn't get to see this much of you, either." I let out another breath and take a chance. "You're rather gorgeous, y'know."

I feel his chuckle more than I hear it, but I can feel Dakota starting to wake up in our head with the sound. Damn, I thought I'd have more time. I'll have to fight him back for a few so I can enjoy this. "Oh I know, I just try not to remind myself a lot. I like to think that I'm working an uphill battle. It makes the prize worth more." The hyena's words tickle my ears and get my pulse racing. I don't want to go back.

"You're a merciless tease, Carter," I murmur to no one, knowing he won't hear it with how low pitched my voice is. I always made sure I had one natural sounding voice that only I could hear, unless I put my muzzle in someone's ear. I have a feeling that's something that Dakota would appreciate too. "I wholly approve."

Nnff... where did- wait what the hell?! What the fuck is going on?! Dakota's voice echoes in our mind.

Well shit, seems I have to multitask now. I took over so your drunk ass didn't ruin this for both of us. Calm your tail and I'll let you back in the spotlight once we get out of here.

"Tempting as you are, Parker, I think we should spend a more, ahem, sober night getting to know one another, perhaps?" The offer hangs there, punctuated by the feeling of his breath down my neck. I can feel his claws pricking the nerves right above the base of my tail and even the shivers I feel are mirrored by the true owner of this body, so I can call him pleasantly distracted for now.

"Carter, you could ask me to walk off the thirtieth street bridge if you keep rubbing my tail like that," I joke, but I dearly hope he can see the seriousness behind it.

He's going to leave you, just like Eileen and Garrett did. This voice isn't Dakota. I try to block them out by pressing my muzzle against the hyena's jaw, but he only chuckles and scoots back from me. "If you're that easily pleased, you'll simply spoil me. I insist, something proper, if only to appease me. Is that alright?"

When I look up into those gray-green eyes, I feel years beyond my current age behind the feelings that well up inside me. I get a confused noise from Dakota and give him a mental hiss to shut him up for the moment. "I would be delighted."

Those eyes light up and my world is brighter for it. I find the strength to slide out of his bed and tug on pants and shirt again. I can feel him watching, appreciating, and then he speaks once I'm covered. "Should... I just come find you when I'm free again, Parker?"

My ears go back. I forgot that I'm not as well off in this body as I'm used to. Damn right you're not! Give me my fucking body back, you prick! Better idea, tell him to come get you, then give me my body back. I'd love to watch him realize just how low down you really are! I can see the sneer in my head and I close my eyes to breathe in the other cacomistle's rage, then breathe it out.

Quiet, you cretin. This isn't just for my benefit, you know. I can't lie to him, as he could see that clear as day, but luckily I don't have to. Technically, what's good for me is good for him too. You couldn't be gentlemanly or smooth if your life depended on it.

Fuckin' try me, mate. You don't know my life. Give me back my fuckin' body.

Calm, Dakota, please. I'm the only one you can trust, because what hurts you hurts me too. That bit of truth, obviously, gets him to shut his trap so I can focus on the hyena, still eyeing me up.

I pick up my jacket and slip into it, glancing at the half naked hyena now sitting on the edge of his bed. "That's not the best idea, Carter. You know I'm from the slums, right? That kinda place ain't right for someone like you. Look at what happened when you walked through it before?"

His eyes go down and his ears go back. "I suppose, but it let me meet you."

Welp, he's got a point. And besides, I'm the one who stole it from him, dumbass. Just wait till he finds that one out.

I roll my eyes once I'm looking away. What a loudmouth. "Well, since I have little to tell the time, setting up a specific time in advance will hardly work. I would hate to be out of the house if you were to come calling. A touch awkward, no?" I look again for his nod. "How about a week from now, meet in front of your building just before sundown? I can get here rather easily." I watch his eyes raise to the ceiling and I can almost hear him counting out days and figuring out how that will work around his cozy little schedule. I wish I fit into that schedule.

"Yes, that should work fine. I apologize in advance if I keep you waiting there, but I will do my best to adhere to it." He stands up now, pulling his own coat off of the floor where he left it. Where we left it. "Here, I'll walk you out."

The moment he goes back inside, you give me my fucking body back or I'll blow our goddamn brains out. He's good and steamed now. Again, I hiss at him to stay quiet, for what little good it will do.

Carter walks beside me, half a head shorter than me I notice now, and guides me with his body until we reach the front door of his building. "Well, I suppose this is goodbye for the time being," he says quietly.

In response, I step up to him and curl arms and tail around him in a hug. "I prefer to think of it as a "see you later," myself."

I get a smile from the toothy hyena and a low chuckle. "I guess you're right. You're a card, Parker. I'll see you in a week." He pats me on the shoulder and turns back through the doors.

I watch him go with two sets of eyes and I can feel the fury from Dakota making even the fur on the back of my neck stand on end. I stride quickly away from Emerald Heights and towards the pit that Dakota calls home. It would be so much better to do this somewhere that is at least familiar, but I know something that he and I are both craving to help counter the stress as well.

A convenience store on the corner solves that for us. A brand new pack of Luckies in my pocket and I'm off to the slums.

Patience, Dakota. If we get at each other's throats then it will only end up in both of us disappearing from this world. I just want to get us home.

I swear to Artemis that if you pull anything else, I'm going to find some way to rip you out of there and tear you to pieces. My hackles rise again and I have to will them flat once more.

Fortunately, as Dakota has so kindly shown me from his memories, it isn't far back to his abode. There is more to it than that, Dakota, please. I am not trying to harm you, but now you understand how restricted I was!

Yeah, I get it, but that's still my body.

I can't argue with him there. With a sigh, I push into his home and swing the door shut behind me. A dive onto the couch later, I've got a cig in my muzzle, pleasantly smoldering and letting me feel the rush of nicotine. My eyes flutter shut and I feel as if I'm being pulled backwards, but I don't panic. I've felt it before.

When those eyes open again, I'm in the void that represents my home in our mind. Standing before me, at least visually, is an almost mirror image of myself. Tall, scruffy, hovering somewhere between lean and lanky, with a tail thicker than his forearm and longer than he is tall. This is what I see first as Dakota finally makes sense of what I'm doing and storms at me, his tail fluffed out in his anger. "Alright buddy, what the fuck was that all about?! I didn't give you permission to flirt about with my body and I'm not takin' too kindly to being stuffed back here because you wanted some tail!"

I put out one paw and my tail and brace myself, keeping the angry ringtail at arm's length. "How many times do I have to tell you to calm down? I am sorry that I had to do that the way I did, but I was doing it for both of our good. I said it before: you're kinda stuck with me, and I'd rather not be wrestling over who gets what like a bad divorce case."

"Well I'm damn well not gonna be tossed out like last week's leftovers! I'm crazy enough as it is. Sittin' back here listenin' to my own voice sayin' things that I'm not is really screwin' with my head." He takes a step back and I put my paws behind my back again. My mental image of myself is always a little more proper than I actually am.

"Again, I apologize for doing it to you like that, but I had to get out of this hole and stretch my tail, so to speak. I felt like I had this horrible crick in it; you know what I mean." I know he does, because we both have the same trouble with our tail. "Forgive me if I was a bit stiff after so long in the void."

He shakes his head and takes a step closer, dark eyes looking as if they were jet black with where we are. "Here I was thinkin' that I was just a bit around the bend, but I'm not hearing voices, am I? You're not just some product of my delusional brain 'cuz o' those jobs I been taking, are you?"

He's definitely intimidating enough. More than I ever needed to be, but I suppose I had my moments too. "Well, technically you've been hearing voices for as long as you think you have. That was, however, not because of your poor health and surely traumatic experiences, but instead my error. I believe I have suitably recovered to keep you from hearing them when I am not "in the spotlight" as it were. I would not wish to impart my woes upon you, since you clearly have enough of your own." I have to get a bit of insult in there, because even though I was a bit unorthodox with how I took over, he's being more than a little abrasive about it. Streetwise he may be, but he's uncouth to the extreme.

"Damn right I don't need your problems. I barely need my problems, so I'm gonna step back into my own damn body and you're gonna never do that again, capiche?" Black eyes amidst white fur simmer with his contained anger. Barely contained, at least.

"I'm afraid that I cannot make that agreement, comrade. I rather think we should work to the betterment of us both, for very obvious reasons. And that's aside from the benefit that proper work and proper company would provide. I imagine you do not object to a continued visitation of Vincent Carter, no? Of course not. So play along and I can help us get there. I've been through it before." This is not a lie, as he can clearly see. I watch him closely, seeing his posture relax, though not in a way that I would have hoped for. I seem to have reminded him of something bad.

As it is in the world of the mind, memories are visible things and you cannot lie to those that reside within. With both of these combined, the experience gets really intimate, really quick, unless you know how to watch where you're stepping. I've never confronted someone whose mind I was sharing before, so what happens, while only logical, surprises me.

Images flicker behind the other ringtail, whose eyes go from holding rage and anger to holding fear and panic. The images flit between a hefty bear, a burly coyote, and a slim and smooth red fox. Each image has the quality of being looked at on blood spattered parchment, a fact that sets me back a pace.

The pictures fade as my double shakes his head and sets his gaze on me again. "No you haven't. Leave me alone, Zachary."

And with the force of that single minded intensity that I could see in his too-deep eyes, I'm thrown back into the blackness of my prison and I get to see nothing but the view of Dakota's paws as he smokes, then roots around for the rest of his piss-beers.

There's something haunted in here, and it isn't the voices in my head that are causing the feeling this time. I bite my lip. It's not right to root through another person's memories like this, but... I have to know what is going on here. He doesn't even associate anything to it anymore; whenever he thinks about a "mark" or even mentions the word in passing, sometimes even without either of those, I can see walls go up around memories and a strength born of fierce determination to prevent any connections from leaking out around those barriers. He's very effectively repressed a large collection of his experiences.

I don't want to invade, but I need to help him. I can feel that urge itching under my fur and skin, but it's not one that I can set claws to in order to banish. I itch in a similar way at the thought of breaking my rules. I guess that's another strike in the similarities column. Breaking our Rules is a no-no.

But I have to know. I have to know what makes him so deluded, so aggressive, so terrified of society. What are you hiding, Dakota?

As much as my will was solely focused on making sure that I could keep Carter earlier, I turn its intensity to this instead. If I can't figure out my host, how can I properly woo someone else? I have to know.