We Regatta Get To Egypt
#5 of The Amazing Race 2
On the last leg of the Amazing Race, teams traveled to Athens, Greece. From there, the jumped over hurdles and swam in a pool to retrieve flags. The coworkers had trouble, but the yiff stars had the most issues when one of them got a broken ankle. As a result, they became the third team eliminated. 15 teams remain. Will one of them be the next one to be eliminated? Find out right here on... the Amazing Race.
***
"Welcome back to Athens, Greece." Toner says. "If you're wondering why I wearing a nose plug, I'll tell you. After Paul & Phil were eliminated, they stayed here and had sex... half the night. I can still smell their musk from here at the checkpoint.
"Anyways, yesterday's winners are the first ones up." Sam steps up and takes a clue from the clue box.
"Route Info: get to the beach where you'll find a speed boat to ride your way to Egypt." Sam reads. Teams must travel, by speedboat, to the beginning of the Nile river in Egypt. The checkpoint is right on the beach. Last team there could be eliminated from the race.
"Let's roll!" Vince says. The rest of the teams get their clues and head back to their cabs and drive towards the beach.
"We can in second yesterday!" Tammy says. "I will NOT have that happen again!!"
"I knew this was going to happen." Rachel says as she looks out the window. "She doesn't realize that as long as we're not in last, it doesn't matter. Besides, most of the time, every team travels at once."
"Alright Diesel, I have an idea." DeeDee says.
"What?" Diesel asks.
"We need to take out the Olympians."
"Why? Wouldn't it be better to take out a stronger team like the twins, or the cruise directors, or..."
"The Olympians. We should be getting rid of them."
"Why? What is it with you and Tammy & Rachel?"
"They almost won every single leg of the race. I don't trust them as far as I can throw them. Plus, they almost won yesterday if it weren't for Vince & Sam's quick actions."
"Yesterday was a close call." Maxwell says to his partner. "If Paul didn't bruise his ankle, we would be gone right now."
"I know." Richard says. "We're just lucky we're still in this thing."
"Kitty, I think it's time we form a solid alliance with someone." Kit says.
"Me too." Kitty says. "We almost had an alliance with the yiff stars but they're out so..." Kit gives her a "seriously?" look. "What? Paul & Phil aren't terrible."
"True. And they didn't seem like the deceptive type. But either way, they're gone and we're still here."
"Well, who do you think should join us?"
"How about Vince & Sam? They're pretty good players. They laid low at first and then, BAM! They won yesterday." Tammy & Rachel are the first ones to reach the beach and the speedboats. Tammy hops into the driver's seat and takes off.
"First place!!" She yells. Rachel just rolls her eyes. Vince & Sam arrive next along with Kit & Kitty.
"Hey! Wait up!" Kit says. The four of them stop for a moment.
"What is it, Kit?" Vince asks.
"I've been wondering, maybe the four of us could work together for this race." Vince & Sam look at each other and shrug their shoulders.
"Alright." Sam says. "We're in."
"Hey butt brains! You know the meaning of the word 'race', right?" DeeDee taunts as her and Diesel get in a boat and drive off. The twins and cruisers get in separate boats and drive off. Soon, the rest of the teams show up, with the Arcadia workers, book publishers, and restaurant workers trailing behind.
"Starting out close to last again!" Barbara says. She's the one driving the boat.
"Calm down! We're doing just ok!" Eddy says. "Besides, you've always wanted to sail on open waters, right?"
"No, I've been wanting to open a restaurant on a boat. Get your facts right!"
"Yikes! They're like some sort of married couple!" Zoe says.
"I know." Patricia says. "How did they get on the show?"
"I'm not so sure. Then again, Toner probably wanted more controversial pairs this year."
"Yep. That sounds like him."
"At least we're not last." Milon says.
"True but we've been in the bottom half teams the whole race." Zax says. "If we don't catch up soon, we might never win the race."
"Never say never, bro." The Olympians continue to take the lead with the Policefurs, twins, and cruise directors right behind them.
"We've got company!" Rachel points behind them. Tammy turns around and sees the three teams behind her. A brilliant idea hatches in her twisted mind. She grabs an emergency ore at the floor of the boat and has Rachel take the wheel.
"Hope you like last place!" Tammy yells. She hurls the ore and knocks Diesel off his speedboat.
"Woah!" Kit says. She turns her and her sister around and Kitty helps Diesel out of the water.
"Thanks." Diesel says.
"No problem."
"Sabotage!!" DeeDee yells.
"Hey, is there any chance you and DeeDee want to join our alliance?" Kitty asks.
"Sure. Well, I should probably get back to my boat, huh." Kit speeds up to catch up to DeeDee. When they're close enough, Diesel hops back into the boat with his partner.
***
Griffin & Zander, Boomer & Joe, and Maxwell & Richard (aka Lover's Lane) are in the middle of the teams. Becky & KiKi are right on their tails. "How much further is it?" Joe asks.
"I think it's another hundred miles or so." Boomer says. It's actually another 450 miles. So, if the teams go for about 60 mph, they should make it in around 7 hours.
"Well, is it ok if I catch some sleep? I'll drive when I wake up in about two hours."
"That's fine. You can go to sleep, baby." Joe sits down and curls up in his seat. He looks so cute, Boomer thinks, but I have to stay focused.
Griffin is asleep as well, purring a bit too. Zander is at the wheel, doing his best to pay attention. "Guys, I'm getting bored." Zander says to Maxwell & Richard.
"Me too. How much longer until we get there?" Richard asks.
"No idea. I don't even know how big the Mediterranean Sea is. Any idea where we stand right now?"
"I think we're in 7th place." Maxwell says.
"Now for long!" A voice behind them says. Becky speeds up the boat as much as she can and her and KiKi pass Lover's Lane.
"There's the Frat Brothers!" KiKi points ahead of her. Jasper has the wheel to his and Mitch's boat. The mountain climbers slowly catch up to them.
"This is so cool!" Jasper says. "How often do we get to do this?"
"I'll answer that, not very!" Mitch says.
"S'up boys!" Becky says as they go side by side with them.
"Hi, Becky!" Jasper waves to them. "How're you two doing!?"
"Fine! Just so you know, there's three teams behind you!"
"Ok! Thanks for the heads up!" Mitch says. Jasper couldn't help but think about how Becky looked. Her sunset orange fur, her delicate green eyes, how beautiful she spoke. "Dude! Do you have a thing for her?" Mitch asks.
"Huh? What?" Jasper snaps out of his daze. "Oh, uhh, no! Of course I don't like Becky. What makes you think that?"
"You were totally checkering her out."
"So what? Maybe I think she's a little pretty."
"Right." Mitch rolls his eyes but he knows he's right on this one. Somewhere ahead of them, Miles & Joey and Shelly & Fran try to get ahead of each other.
"Out of our way!" Shelly says. "Only one team is winning this race and it's going to be ours!"
"You wish!" Miles says. "Now out of our way you bus driving freaks!"
"In your dreams, meatheads!" Fran says.
"I... don't... eat.... MEAT!!!" Miles turns his boat towards Shelly & Fran and rams the side of their boat.
"Hey! Watch it!" Fran says, ramming them back.
"Miles! Stop it!" Joey says. She tries to take control of the wheel by shoving Miles aside, letting the bus drivers ride ahead.
"What the heck was that for, Joey?" Miles asks.
"I'm sorry, but I'm now taking control of this team. You're making us a bigger target than we should be! Now that you've made an enemy, they're gonna try and get us out of this race!"
"I'm sorry! They called us meatheads and crashed into us!"
"You started the crashing, not them. I'm in charge. Deal with it." Joey looks in front of her and steers the boat, with Miles sitting in the passenger seat.
***
"Ummm... Zax?" Milon asks.
"Yeah?" Zax asks.
"We have a problem."
"How? We managed to get ahead of the critiques and the publishers. We're no longer in last place. How can there be a problem?" Suddenly, they hear a beeping sound. Zax looks over at the gauge and sees how much gas they have left. Almost empty.
"Yep." Milon says.
"Oh shit!" Zax says. He grab an emergency ore as soon as he feels them slowing down and starts rowing. The publishers pass them.
"See you two at the checkpoint!" Zoe says, snickering.
"Sayonara, suckers!" Barbara says.
"Is that really necessary?" Eddy asks.
"What? We're not going home! That's a good thing!"
***
"Is that the twins and the Policefurs!" Amy points ahead of her.
"It looks like it." Hector says. "Maybe we can catch up." Hector tries to speed up his boat as much as he can.
"Kit! Kitty! I have an idea on how we can get rid of those two Olympic bastards!" DeeDee says.
"How?" Kitty asks.
"Let's just say anything she can do..." DeeDee reaches down and grabs her ore, "I can do better." She aimed carefully and throws her ore hard at the Olympians. But she wasn't aiming for Tammy or Rachel. She was aiming for their controls. When it hits, sparks fly and they start to slow down.
"What the hell?!" Tammy says. Egypt comes into view, along with that, Toner and the checkpoint. Kit & Kitty, Vince & Sam, and Diesel & DeeDee pass them.
"Oh crud." Rachel mutters. Tammy clenches her fists and begins to growl. Rachel grabs the ore and starts paddling them.
"I will not be fourth place!!" Tammy says.
"You're right! You'll be fifth place!" Amy says as she and Hector pass them. The twins make it to the beach first with Vince & Sam second and Diesel & DeeDee third. Toner and the checkpoint rug are a 10 yard run away.
"And first place goes to..." Toner says when he notices team coming. The six of them run as fast as they can towards the checkpoint. One team steps on the rug. "Diesel & DeeDee."
"Alright! Hi-5 partner!" DeeDee says. She holds up a paw and Diesel slap it and they run off.
"In close second is Kit & Kitty." Toner says.
"Sweet!" Kit says.
"Not that it really matters, Vince & Sam come in third."
"That's cool." Vince says. The Olympians make it to the beach and run towards the checkpoint where Toner stands. When they step on, Tammy is heated.
"Well, look who came in..."
"FOURTH?!?! AGAIN?!?!" Tammy yells.
"Yep." Toner says. Tammy's eye starts twitching. "Just kidding! Amy & Hector came here way before you two did."
"Hector managed to fix the boat so it goes faster than it's supposed to." Amy says. "It was risky, but it was worth it."
"Thanks you degree in Electrical Engineering." Hector says.
"So, we're actually in..." Rachel says all calm.
"FIFTH?!?!?" Tammy exclaims.
"Yes you are." Toner says. While Tammy has a huge tantrum/freakout, more teams start to arrive on the beach.
Shelly & Fran- 6th place
Miles & Joey- 7th place
Becky & KiKi- 8th place
Jasper & Mitch- 9th place
Maxwell & Richard- 10th place
Boomer & Joe- 11th place
"Griffin & Zander, congrats, you're in 12th place." Toner says.
"Yay!" Zander says, hugging and kissing his partner.
"I love you, Zander." Griffin says.
"I love you too, Griffin."
"Well, that leaves three teams left. Who will be cut?" Zoe & Patricia and Barbara & Eddy arrive at the beach at the same time and run like hell to the checkpoint.
"Oh man! We're gonna be eliminated!" Barbara says. Zoe feels victory course through her veins. However, she trips on her own foot and falls to the ground. Barbara & Eddy run faster as Patricia helps her partner up.
"The bickersons, Barbara & Eddy, 13th place." Toner announces.
"Whew! That was close!" Eddy says. Zoe gets up and her and Patricia walk over to the checkpoint rug.
"Just give us the bad news already." Zoe says, expecting her elimination.
"Zoe & Patricia, you guys..." Toner starts out. "Are in... 14th, aka still in the race!"
"Woohoo!" Patricia says.
"Oh my god! I thought we were doomed!" Zoe says. "Well, if we're not the last team to arrive, who's still out there?"
***
Zax continues to row while Milon keeps searching for emergency fuel. They hear a helicopter overhead and they look up. A ladder drops down into their boat. "Grab on!" A voice yells from above. Milon & Zax climb up the ladder into the helicopter and see Toner, who's driving it.
"Toner?!" Zax asks.
"Hi! I'm here to say the other 14 teams have checked in already!" Toner says.
"So we're out of the race!?" Milon asks.
"Yep!" Toner reaches into his pocket. "That is, if this weren't a non-elimination leg!" He pulls a party noisemaker from his pocket and blows it. "Surprise!!!"
"You mean we're good?!" Zax asks.
"For now, yes!"
"Yes!!" Zax hugs Milon as Toner drives the helicopter back to the beach.
"Well, no one went home, but I guarantee you that someone will be cut! Next time on... the Amazing Race!"