Secrets Ch. 7
#7 of Secrets
Long time in coming I know. But here it finally is Secrets Chapter 7 for your pleasure.
Chapter 7
I stand there frozen in place from shock, my eyes going wide as I stare into the face of the wolf kissing me. For a long moment I can't move as my mind tries to process what is happening. As my shock wears off I start to realize that not only is the kiss not only pleasant but that I have been secretly wanting this since first laying eyes on Chase. Slowly I begin to relax into the kiss and begin to return it in part.
Before I can fully enjoy the first romantic contact I have had with another in a long time something screams in the back of my mind. With a jerk I pull away from Chase leaving a stunned and confused look on his face. I begin backing away as my adrenaline starts pumping through my veins. In a hurried voice I say, "I'm sorry.... I shouldn't have.... I have to go."
I hurry past the front of the house grabbing my sword and pack that I had left by the porch and race into the dark forest, my black fur allowing me vanish as I hear chase call after me, "Eb wait! Come back!"
But I don't turn back instead I keep running for several minutes until I feel I am far enough away to be alone. I slow down to an easy walk muttering to myself, "That was so stupid. I can't let myself get attached. Not again."
I stumble on a clearing that has a small pond in the center. I reach the ponds edge and find a large enough rock to sit on and drop my gear beside me as I look down at the waters frozen surface. The ice is perfectly smooth and shows a slightly distorted view of the night sky. For several minutes I gaze at my reflection until I realize that it is gazing back at me not with my current face but with my demonic one.
I give a snort and grumble, "What do you want? Haven't you messed things up enough tonight?"
The reflection glares at me before speaking in my deeper gravelly voice, "You know perfectly well that I was warning you and trying to protect you and them. So sorry if I interrupted your little moment of fun. But in case you have forgotten what happened last time when Agerex found out about someone you cared for."
I let out a snort of anger that causes a puff of smoke to leave my nose. With a bit of a yell I reply, "Of course I remember what happened, I was there wasn't I? Don't you think I would go back and change things if I could? What happened was entirely my fault after all, I let my emotions cloud my judgment."
My reflection sighs and speaks in a softer voice, "Of course I know Ebony, we both feel the same way and you weren't the only one at fault. We both share some of the blame for wanting to be happy. That's why I stopped you tonight. You know we will never be able to be happy again as long as he hunts us."
I let out a sigh and look out over the pond, "I just wish we knew what it was that made him hunt us so ferociously. We have never done anything to him."
My reflection just stares up at me in silence, the stars reflected in its eyes. Eventually I look back down, "So what should we do about our current situation? It was rather rude to leave like that even if we can't stay. But at the same time leaving now could be just as dangerous if not more so considering winter is just beginning."
My reflection thinks over his words for a moment before answering, "I suppose we could stay the winter, even Agerex would be stupid to try again now. But we have to make sure we keep our emotions under control and avoid becoming too attached to them."
I give a humorless snort, "Easier said than done. But if it means the difference between sleeping in snow mounds or in a warm bed, I'll take the bed."
He chuckles a little before saying, "Well I guess that takes care of our immediate problem. Too bad the long term problems won't be as easy. We still need to find a way to get Agerex to stop chasing us. Too bad we don't know for sure where that wolf we helped escape from that prison ended up. He still owes us a favor after all."
Rolling my eyes I reply, "He couldn't get out of that prison on his own without us I doubt he would be all that much help now. Besides that was years ago who knows if he is even still alive." I let out a deep sigh before continuing, "No I think we are on our own with that problem."
A moment of silence stretches long before I say, "Guess I had better go explain my actions."
My reflection snorts, "your just hoping you might still get some action with him."
I look at him with a knowing smirk, "And you're not? It's been how long since we got laid? There are monks with a more active sex life than us."
That gets a laugh in return before he says, "That's really sad but so true. Just remember...."
He goes silent as a twig snaps somewhere to my right. With a quick nod he vanishes leaving my reflection normal as I reach for my sword. I slowly draw my sword as quiet as possible while trying to sink into the shadows as much as I can while in a clearing.
After a few tense moments a figure begins to emerge from the trees. At first the trees, snow, and dark make for a near perfect camouflage. But as they approach Jasmines white form begins to separate itself from her surroundings. Once I recognize who it is I relax my stance and ease my sword back down to my pack before turning back to the pond in silence.
Quietly she moves up next to me and sits down on a rock next to me and looks out over the pond as well. For several minutes we just sit there in silence. Every so often her eyes will dart in my direction or an ear will twitch so I know she is studying me.
I take a breath and let out a sigh that fogs the air. Before I can try to come up with anything to say however she breaks the silence by asking, "Was he that bad a kisser?"
I turn and stare at her not sure I heard her right, "Beg your pardon?"
She turns and looks at me and repeats her question, "Was Chase that bad at kissing? Because I'm pretty sure it wasn't our cooking or hospitality that scared you off. So I figured it was the kiss."
Letting out a slight snort I reply, "Weather he was or wasn't doesn't matter. How do you know what he did?"
With a slight grin she says, "After you ran off Chase came to ask us help to track you down. Plus I had been watching from the window. Now for the third time was he bad at kissing?"
For a second I stare with my mouth open with half formed words stuck in my throat before I just sigh and lower my head, "No he wasn't bad. Fairly good actually. But it's just.... It wasn't.... I'm not sure that I want that now."
I feel her gaze on me for a moment before she bursts out, "That's bullshit and we both know it. Most of the others may have missed it but I saw you two stealing glances when you thought no one was looking. You don't look at someone that way if you're not wanting something special. Add to that the way Chase has been so focused on caring for you the last few days and I was surprised he waited till dark to try a kiss."
I look back at her with raised eyebrows as she continues, "That's right. For the last four days he has barely left your side. The first two nights he even slept in that chair in your room because of how worried he was for your life. He has rarely been that attentive to members of his own pack, let alone a stranger."
With a sigh I turn back to my reflection in the pond, "That was kind of him."
She shifts on her rock a bit before responding, "Yeah it was. He really likes you for some reason and I for one would really like to see him happy with someone who I think likes him back in the same way."
I feel shame and a bit of anger begin to make my face burn. I jump to my feet and begin in a barely contained shout, "It doesn't matter what either of us may or may not feel about the other. Something's just can't be allowed. It probably would have been better for everyone if he hadn't found me in the first place. Nothing good will come from me staying I can promise you that. I should leave right now and hope to whatever gods there are its not too late."
She looks up at me with a calm almost amused look in her eyes, "To late for what exactly?"
I turn to look fully down at her intending to continue my raging but stop mid sentence when I see her emerald eyes reflecting the moon light. I take a slow deliberate breath and sit back down letting my anger and frustration fade before I answer her, "It doesn't matter. The damage has already been done I'm sure. Agerex will find this place sooner or later now that he is aware it exists."
Her forehead wrinkles as she looks at me, "Agerex? I'm assuming that was the person attacking you?"
I just nod but don't elaborate any farther. She remains quiet for a moment thinking before she speaks again, "Well it would seem to me that considering how bad you were hurt and the fact you were so far from anywhere you could have gotten help that he might think you died from your injuries despite the interference of our pack. It's possible that he will never find us here. Did you not think of that Eb? That you could live here in peace?"
I close my eyes and let out a low growl before saying just one word, "No."
She pats her leg in triumph, "Then its settled. You can come back to the house with me and talk things out with Chase and maybe you two can...."
Before she can continue I interrupt her, "That wasn't no as in I didn't think about it. It was no I can't live in peace. Not now. Not while Agerex hunts me. Possibly not ever again."
She has a look like someone slapped her on her face as she stares at me saying, "But I thought we just pointed out that he likely thinks you dead and has no way of knowing where we are?"
I shake my head, "He knows that I am alive just as surely as I know he is. We can tell if the other is alive, even if we don't know where they are."
Her stunned look turns to confusion, "Ok even if you can sense each other like that. He still has no way of finding you. The recent snow fall has buried any trace of a trail leading to you and before long it will be less than a memory. So that still doesn't explain why you can't remain here and have peace."
For a moment I feel my anger and frustration try to flare up again but it can't seem to get a foothold before I say with an exasperated sigh, "It doesn't matter. I just can't have peace like others can."
She reaches over and places a paw on my leg and I feel a calmness pass over me that seems to make what embers of anger I have left grow even dimmer. At first I'm confused as to why then I realize that ever since Jasmine has arrived my emotions have been a lot calmer than they normally would be. I reach down and grasp her paw moving it off my leg. The effect is almost instant.
As soon as the contact is broken I feel my emotions begin to blaze again. I look at her with a stern gaze as I ask, "How long have you been manipulating my emotions?"
For a brief moment surprise flits across her face before she pulls her had free of my grasp and says, "I have been trying since I got here to calm you down. How did you realize I was? Most don't realize it when I do and never so quickly."
I glare down at her as I respond, "When you have lived with the anger I have as long as I have it becomes a part of you. So when you suppressed it the change was very noticeable."
She nods, "I see. That explains why it was so hard to get you to calm down. Usually just being around someone is enough for me to calm them. But your different."
I let out a bark of laughter, "Calm me down? That was me calm. If I had been truly angry or upset every one for several miles would know by now."
She looks at me with a calculating look, "if that was you being calm and it took a great deal of concentration for me to calm you down from that. Then your temper must be truly great."
Looking out over the pond I reply with a quiet voice, "That's one word for it. Another would be horrifying." I glance back at her, "So is that how you found me? Sensing my emotions?"
She chuckles, "No I can only do that over short range. I just followed your trail. You left in such a hurry that you neglected to try and hide your path. Between the tracks in the snow and the broken branches that look like a twister went through, it was pretty easy to find you here."
Glancing back the way I came I see the obvious destruction that was my flight through the forest. A small laugh escapes as I say, "Guess that would be a bit hard to miss wouldn't it."
Silence stretches out between us before I ask, "How many others of your pack have special abilities?"
Jasmine leans back a bit thinking over her response before answering, "Well every has something they are good at. Weather its tracking, or swordsmanship, or stealth. But you're asking about my ability to calm others aren't you."
I just nod waiting for her to continue. She takes a breath then says, "If you discount Chase's leadership skills as an alpha then I'm the only one I think with such gifts. That I know of at least."
With an understanding grunt from me silence once again spreads between us as I begin to think more about what just happened. My thoughts wander from my fight with Agerex, to the conversation I just had with Jasmine, then eventually end up centered on Chase. I find myself wondering what he's doing now, how much I may have upset him, even what I can do to try and make it up to him.
At those thoughts I shake my head hard as though I'm shaking off insects. I can't let myself go down that road. No matter how cute he is or how nice the kiss was. It just won't be a good idea.
There is a rustle beside me as Jasmine stands up and stretches. With a slight shiver she says, "Well I think I have sat in the cold long enough. I'm going to head back to the house."
She turns and heads back the way we came. At the edge of the clearing she turns back to say, "I have told you what I came to say Ebony. Chase does like you and you him. You may think that growing close to someone is a bad thing but I want you to know that even if I were to die tomorrow I would not trade one day of my life with Richard. Having someone special in your life is always worth it."
With that she turns and vanishes into the woods leaving me alone again.
Sitting there alone I watch the stars reflected on the ice before mumbling quietly, "It's not my death I fear. But all of yours because of me. I don't think I can go through that again."
I stand up grabbing my pack and slinging it over my shoulder before picking up my sword. I look down the path that led me here the towards the opposite side of the pond before looking down at my paws with a sigh, "I'm sure either choice is a bad idea."
With a sigh of resignation I take a step forward and begin walking in my chosen direction.