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Part 21

The bus ride home was somewhat of an ordeal. Besides the stares that Carson received for nuzzling me from time to time and the whispers when he hugged me close to him. I thought it was really brave of Carson to be himself in front of everyone and not care. Most people would take a week or however long to get accustomed. Watch their back a little more. Listen more to the people around them instead of tuning out the world. Sometimes, listening for key words like "gay" or other words that offend some people. Carson, though, is leaning against me, nodding off to sleep on my shoulder (this time I let him). Maybe the pills are helping to some extent but most of it has to be him at least. Right?

Hopefully. Or maybe he doesn't care because most people are asleep because the teachers thought it was a good idea to leave at night so we would get back home early in the morning and have the rest of the Friday to sleep. In my opinion, I think they just wanted to stay a bit longer before having to go back and deal with us in a confined space. What other reason would there be to leaving at the tail end of the day? Maybe they knew most of the kids would stay up until about one or two in the morning so leaving at six or seven in the morning to get home at a reasonable hour would be like asking a fox not to scheme.

Even though the drama here -er, there -was pretty terrible, I wish the trip could have lasted longer. And, I know, I know, I said at the beginning I thought it was going to be something ridiculously mind numbing, but I really do not want to go home. Back to the rules of the house. No sneaking off with guys to fool around with anymore. I'd have to give her my phone first thing I walk in the door for Mother to check if I've been watching any porn or whatever the hell she thinks I do on my phone (I will give her one thing, I have a Pawin account, which, might I add, I never used to cheat on Brent but for...research of the gay population around my area). I outsmart her if I do, do something. Like, this one time, she thought I was going to the movies with Kit and I ended up meeting this guy that Kit had set me up with (so I technically wasn't lying when I said I'd meet Kit at the theatre, I was just meeting someone else too). Well, we really weren't paying attention to the movie, and, long story short, I spent ten minutes in the theatre bathroom washing my muzzle. She never found out about theatre guy. That is until I snuck out from study hall to chill at his place and she found out from a 'friend' whose mom was friends with mine. That's when the rules got stricter, and the GPS locator was installed in my phone.

I may be painting her out to be a bad person, but she can be really nice and easy to get along with. Lately, I've seen less of that. My father and mother fight a lot (that's an understatement). It'd getting a lot worse. I even heard my mother saying she was about to call someone named "David Shellon", who I found out is a divorce attorney when Poogle'd his name. Divorce is becoming a common occurrence, I've noticed, and while more and more people are getting them, it still sucks to be going through one.

I hope they can work it out.

Carson wet nosed brushed the side of my cheek. His white teeth lit up the bus when I turned to him. "What're you thinking about?"

My ears flicked. I turned away and replied with a, "Nothing".

"Lying before we go out on a first date?" he chided with a smile.

I could say the same for your pill bottle. "I'm just tired, s'all."

Apparently the answer was good enough. He pulled me away from the stars and held me close to him. "Maybe you should stop thinking and get some sleep."

My muzzle looked up at the digital clock at the front of the bus that read "01:53". I usually didn't go to bed for another hour. His hold on me tightened. I relented and had one paw on the base of his tail, the other on his chest before nuzzling him. He nuzzled back, giving me a quick lick in between my ears.

***

There was a stream. It was shallow, barely an inch of water flowing through from some unknown source. There was nothing but the moon, the stars, and the stream. He looked around, not able to move. But there was no one there. The moon grew a face, it looked arrogant. Superior. It knew something. The stars flashed in the sky, drawing the fox's attention from the water. They danced and, he could almost hear them singing. It was a soft tune, barely audible even to his large ears. He had an overwhelming sense to look away from the stars.

There was a river. And a...wolf? No, husky. Carson. He stood on the other bank, staring at the fox. The fox tried to yell for him to come over but he lost his voice was lost in the small breeze. Carson's eyes were glowing a rich emerald green, almost blinding the fox. The fox tried again to move, to no avail. Something was holding him, but he wasn't able to look down. The stars above sang their song, yet it was still broken. Some words were audible: "Ignorant...never...control...never...full...truth."

There was an ocean. He was on top of a cliff overlooking an ocean. The waves crashed into the rock below him which spanned the entire length of his vision. There was another cliff facing the fox. A black and white lighthouse whirled its green light around it'd perimeter. The word 'searching' materialized in the fox's mind. The stars were mocking him. "Ignorant fox. Weak fox. Never in control. Too weak to be in control. Never know the truth. Too ignorant to know the full truth.

There was nothing.

***

My eyes fluttered open to large paws gripping my shoulders. The sun light burned my eyes and I offered a silent curse in reply. Carson's voice was a welcoming sound. "Scout, get up. We're going to stop for breakfast."

"Breakfast?" I managed.

He chuckled. "Yes, breakfast. Damn you look terrible in the morning."

I head-butted him in the shoulder more so to try and go back to sleep, the other part was for the comment. But, 'There ain't no rest for the wicked' seemed to be a statement I was living by nowadays. After shuffling into a restraint which was so glad to seat some of our class- well, the manager was happy, the staff...not so much. I understood that, I used to work at a country club before I had to quit to focus more on school (parent's request).

We got our food after thirty or so minutes of waiting and all was well. Carson started to act weird, though, which kept me entertained for the majority of the wait. Okay, that sounded a little uncalled for. I meant he kept me entertained from a what-is-going-on-here sort of way. We were sitting with some of his friends and he was just...sad. I don't know how to describe it other than sad.

Pill hungry, is another phrase you could use.

The cheetah, Alex, got up from the table and headed off to the bathroom. I saw him give Carson a quick glance before leaving and, well, no one else was in bathroom now. I brushed Carson's shoulder and said I had to go to the bathroom. Which was met with a slight nod, all the while staring at his uneaten food.

Alex was at the urinal when I opened the door. He looked towards me, grimaced, and flicked his ears back. He stared at his crotch, as if willing the liquid to come faster. Since he didn't seem in the mood for breaking the ice, and I was still in my -just-woke-up mood, I thought I would.

"So, Carson seems a little depressed today."

With canids, it was easy to see when you hit a nerve. Their ears were a big tell, usually flicking back before being forced forward. Cats, however, were much harder. Their ears were smaller and had a much slower reaction time then say foxes. But from dealing with Kit all these years, he taught me the tail is a dead giveaway if they're nervous. Alex's was lashing for a brief moment before curling around his leg.

He didn't say a word to me, just zipped up his pants and walked out the door with a slight growl.

He didn't even wash his hands!

So he knows about Carson. Which was good. I could ask him about it instead of making Carson fess up. Now, the problem was actually getting Alex to talk to me.

Why not just ask Carson yourself?

I don't want to make him tell me. I just want to know what's going on.

Foxes. Always thinking- well, not thinking.

I kept an eye on Alex throughout breakfast which only lasted another half hour because everyone wanted to get home to their beds. It was fruitless, all he did was eat and give the occasional glance in my direction. When he saw me looking at him, he scowled and looked away. But other than that, nothing I could use.

The bus ride was hell for me (and for probably all foxes out there who had to be put in my situation). I had a burning desire to know, but I couldn't exactly get up on the seat and shout over to Alex what was going on. It would've been easier to ask Carson and I wasn't going to do that. I couldn't, either, even if I wanted to. The moment we got on the bus he curled up on me and was breathing loudly as he slept. For the whole ride. Which meant all I could do was look up fail videos on my phone (the slow motion ones were the best) which did get my mind to wander off and not think about Carson too much. It was pretty hard to focus on serious topics when guys were slamming their nuts into railings.

Finally we made it home, pulling the buses into the bus loop at the concrete building that should be considered "Hell on earth". I nudged Carson awake and before I knew it he was trotting off towards his awaiting car with his mother, a bust red and white husky. The teachers advised against parking cars in the lot for "safety reasons" but I think it was because they didn't want to be held liable for anything stolen. Even though they technically couldn't. I don't think. Ugh, I hate mornings.

I hate them so much that when my mother pulled in and said somethings I said, "Happy to see you too," before tuning her out with the surrounding scenery. The town was called Oak City. Pretty ingenious name, right? The best part is that the only oaks here are the ones that are planted in people's yards, and then taken down because of the roots. There are more palm trees than oaks here, which is why I was always confused as a kid about the name. Well, I still am. To be honest, I despise this town, especially the lack of man-tail. It's mostly run by old white people who prefer more traditional values. Lucky me...