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Street Lights, Ch. 1

Day six. Fer is dead:

Sarah took a deep breath and turned the doorknob, entering the house and proceeding toward the living room.

She gulped. Nathan was still there, seated on one of the sofas next to the room's large windows, staring intently at the streetlights.

He had a blanket across his lap, and wore a shirt colored a frigid shade of blue. The wolf, about thirty years old, had shining fur despite its dull grey tone.

At least he seems calm, Sarah thought to herself.

The female wolf sat down in a nearby chair. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the armrests and asked with the delicacy only a good friend can,

"How are you?"

The light of that cloudy evening lit the wolf's right side, providing him with a pale glow. His eyes were blank, so unexpressive and devoid of happiness that seeing them filled Sarah with fear.

What she wanted to feel was pity.

Nathan opened his muzzle slowly.

"Still kicking."

"And how do you feel?"

He wrinkled his nose, not expecting the question.

"I... I don't know."

Sarah reached out and gently touched the top of his hand.

"And do you know what day it is?"

"T... Tuesday? Wednesday? How many days has it been?"

She flashed him a friendly smile.

"It's been six days. Did you take your medication?"

Nathan wiped his brow.

"No... they made me feel tired, " his attention returned to the window, to the

passersby. "It's Saturday. Don't you have work?"

"Later, but I wanted to come visit, to see how you were."

"Well... I'm just fine."

Yeah, bullshit. He had to bite his bottom lip to keep from blurting out. "Do you want anything to drink? Some coffee?"

"Sure. Do you need help with anything?"

"No need."

Nathan stood up, leaving the blanket folded on the arm of the sofa, and left towards the kitchen. After some twenty minutes, he returned carrying a tray for the coffee, which he deposited on the glass-top table before them.

A carafe full of coffee, milk, pastries, a bowl of sugar, and three mugs.

Sarah served herself coffee and leaned back on the couch, allowing the other wolf to pass. He extended his hand to take his mug. He bit his lip when he saw the two remaining mugs. One for Sarah, one for him, and the other for...

For Fer.

By force of habit he had taken out a cup for Fer as well. But Fer wasn't around anymore. He had died, and he wouldn't be coming back.

Nathan swallowed hard and gritted his teeth, trying not to cry. He didn't want to worry Sarah, even though she could read him like a book.

He took a cup and served himself, leaving his coffee black.

"So... on Monday you'll go with me to... you know?"

"Yes, of course. I'll come get you bright and early."

"Thanks... you're a good friend."

Sarah took another sip of her coffee, trying to construct what she wanted to say next.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Nathan left his empty cup on the glass table and gave his guest a timid smile.

"No... thank you."

The pair remained silent for a moment. Sarah looked down at her coffee.

"I feel alone, yeah. But as for everything else, I'm fine... I gotta keep living. There are other fish in the sea, life goes on, yadda yadda."

She shrugged, unsure of what to say.

They continued talking about nothing in particular for at least half an hour, until Sarah had to leave.

Reunited at last with his loneliness, Nathan grabbed the coffee tray and washed the dishes, all three.

He took out some ingredients and put water to boil to start preparing dinner. Then he put away half of the ingredients and removed the pot of water from the flame. He emptied it, took out a smaller one and put that one to boil.

He made dinner and sat down at the kitchen table. He realized then that he had never been hungry in the first place, ate half of his plate and threw the rest in the trash.

He was tired of everything. He had no desire to do anything. He took off his clothes and climbed into his queen-sized bed, even though it wasn't even 8PM.

He curled up in bed and closed his eyes, feeling the blankets wrap around him. He was tired of pretending that everything was normal, that everything was okay.

No, everything was not okay, everything was all wrong. They had killed Fer, his beloved lion. They had taken everything away from him.

He turned to the empty half of the bed and squeezed his pillow tightly. He finally let his tears fall. He cried, cried tears of anguish, of outrage. He bawled, bitterly, loudly, unendingly. He buried his head in the pillow and yelled until he was hoarse, until he was completely exhausted.

He found himself on his feet in the house, it was the middle of the day, and a clear and delicate light filtered through the windows.

A familiar voice called to him from the door. He felt his heart skip a beat.

About six feet away, white fur, a long, plush tail, strong torso, and a warm and inviting smile.

Fer wore a black jacket and a white shirt that matched his fur. He held a plastic bag filled with several things he had just bought.

Nathan jumped into his arms, his eyes full of tears. The wolf's weight made Fer lose his balance and fall back on the carpeted floor. Nathan bawled into the lion's chest, swept along by the tidal wave of emotions struggling to escape him.

"Honey... don't squeeze so tight... you're..."

"It's been awful, I've missed you so much."

The towering lion gave him a loving smile and wrapped him in a pair of warm arms. Nathan rested his head on the lion's chest, feeling those enormous hands resting on his back.

"I've felt so alone..."

"Shh... Don't you worry, it's all over now, you're here with me."

He sighed, taking in the heat and aroma of the lion's fur. He had missed him so much, but now he had come back.

He closed his eyes and breathed in, relieved. For the first time in six days he felt loved,

no longer alone. For the first time in six days he felt the warmth he had needed.

He felt at home again.

The cold morning light woke him suddenly, taking from him what remained of Fer, and that dream world where nothing had happened to him.

Nathan lay face up, motionless. The ceiling received his blank stare while the clock on the nightstand displayed it was nine-thirty of the seventh day.