Ander - Part 5: Subchapter 19
19
"I think Nilia might be a little bit crazy, but in a good way," Hezzi said to the mountain, so far away he knew his voice could never reach it from here, but it wasn't really the mountain he was talking to anyway. "She makes me train with her every day, and although she likes to say she's going easy on me, I sometimes think she's genuinely trying to kill me. I'm learning so much, though..."
He ran his hand along the crack in the railing, wondering what Nilia would say if she knew what he was planning.
The wind was dying down, but becoming colder. He could see the darkened patterns in the clouds coming to a halt, just resting up there in the sky like a solid slab of rock.
"I've had a lot of time to think over the past two months," he said. "My whole life, Wolves have been teaching me what is right and what is wrong. You, Mother, Banno, Ander, Nilia and Renna. Even Wolves like Wardo and Garten. Everyone in the tribe, my family, my friends, my enemies, all of them have their own ideas about what is right and what is wrong. But if all of them are different, then how do I know which is true? How do I know what's really right when what's right for one Wolf is wrong for another? I think that, in the end, it's up to me to look at all the different answers and pick the ones that I believe in. And if they're not quite enough, then it's up to me again to add to their answers with what I believe is right, until I end up with something I can live with. That's why..."
Hezzi had promised himself he would only cry a single tear, but the second one slipped out without him even noticing, and that made it all the easier for the third and fourth to slip out unnoticed, too. "That is why... I have to do something you might not like. But I have looked at the world and I have looked at the way everyone else sees the world, and I have made my own decision. I love my friends, Father, and I love my family. I have taken everything I have learned and I know that what I am about to do is the right thing, because it is the only thing I can live with. If it all goes terribly, horribly wrong, then... I'm sorry. I have to do this. For you, for Mother, for Renna, for everyone. I -"
He heard the rhythmic creaking of someone climbing the ladder, and a minute later Renna's head popped up through the hatch.
"So this is where you've been hiding," she said.
"I wasn't hiding, I was just thinking."
"Yeah, right." She hauled herself out the square hole in the floor and joined him by the railing. "Pretty cold up here, isn't it?"
"Yeah. A little."
"Hezzi?"
"Hmm?"
"Have you been crying?"
"Oh... No." He wiped the drying tears from his face. "The wind blew something into my eye, that's all."
"Oh, okay." They stood side by side for a while, watching the trees sway and moan in the half-light of this cloudy day. "Hezzi?"
"Yeah?"
"It's gonna start soon. Are you ready?"
"Yeah. That's part of why I came up here."
"You're not going to try anything stupid, are you?"
Hezzi turned to look at her worried face, and he flashed her his most winning smile. "When have I ever done anything stupid?"
She smiled back, but he could tell it was forced. The difference between Renna's real smile and this one was like the difference between the sun and the moon.
"Everybody's already gathering by the statue," she said. "We'd better get going."
"Sure, I'll be right behind you."
Renna made towards the ladder, but her gaze lingered. She looked at him, her eyes roving all over his face, and Hezzi wondered if his fake smile was just as noticeable to her as her fake smile was to him.
She knows I'm planning something...
In the end, she simply gave him a little nod and started climbing down the ladder again. Hezzi followed after, but before he put his feet down on the first rung, he spared one last glance at the solid expanse of grey covering the sky. He thought there might've been a break in the clouds just then, or maybe it was just a trick of the light.
I'm sorry, Father. I have to break my promise.
Hey guys. Sorry this one is a bit short. It used to be longer, but I cut out a chunk and turned it into the previous subchapter. Adding more just to bring it back up to its original length would just be injecting it with useless bloat, and nobody likes that. :/
If you enjoy my story, please help keep my face un-mauled by irritable ostriches by dropping me a donation.
Thank you! ^_^
Paypal:[email protected]
Donation Progress $100 / $300 (Unlock Sunday update)
How and Why: The Story behind "Ander" (Journal): https://www.sofurry.com/view/517234
Special thanks go out to the following furs for helping me keep this project afloat with their generous donations. I couldn't do it without your support.
- Mystery fur
- PyrePup
- KmlRock
- Faan
- Sunny-Fox
- Mystery fur #2
- Sky Star
- Claybrook
Thank you! You guys are the best! ^_^