Chapter Eleven
Ian p.o.v
Hell. That's what I've been experiencing ever since this damn break started. All I've come to know is pain, and pain is all that I will ever know. It's pretty pathetic how our lives are built on false foundations, ready to shatter at any given moment like a piece of glass. I'm just like another filthy peasant, who will only suffer for the rest of their life while their superiors keep draining resources from them, only making their life on Earth only harder. Fatigue has run over me, and I'm not tired as in drowsy, but tired as I'm sick of it all. I just want it to end damn it! But I don't have the power to change anything. The only thing that has been keeping me from going insane from too much mental pain is by causing myself physical pain. My arms are oozing out blood, and I think I hit a vain, but I don't care, let it all flow out of my body so mother may come in and see her son, dead, in a puddle of his own blood. Maybe then she'll understand all the pain she put her son in, and hopefully they won't make the same mistakes to Allison as they did to me.
The doorbell rings, disrupting me from my thoughts. Mother and sister are out at the mall and father at work, leaving only me to attend to the unwanted guest. Lovely. I walk downstairs and open the door to see who it is, and sure enough it's him. I see him muttering something, with a look of determination on his face; however, that changed when he took a look at my current state. A dispirited expression replaced the one of determination as he looked at me in fear, of what I have become. "Ian!" he cried out with shock in his voice, and he quickly engulfs me into his arms. I just stand there, staring at the outside world I haven't seen since the end of the first semester. Avi keeps calling my name, but I am again buried deep into my thoughts. He pulls away from me, my blood staining his fur, and waves in front of my eyes, seeing if I'm responsive. I gaze into his eyes and form a weak smile. "Avi," I say softly before I fall into his arms, before I pass out. Who knows, maybe my dream will come true, and mother will see her son lying in a pool of his own blood. Maybe then she will regret what she did to me, and hopefully she will never forgive herself for I won't.
I awake in a bed, not my own, with bandages around my arm. I pull myself up to look around the room and instantly know where I am. I turn to the left and I see them, Avi and his parents, hovering over me. "Rest easy son," Avi's father tells me. "You lost a lot of blood but fortunately you won't need a blood transfusion. Just take it easy for the next week and you'll be fine." I lay my head back on the pillow and stare at the ceiling. From my peripheral vision I can see Avi glaring at me with much concern. "Do you want anything?" Natalie asked. I look at Avi then back at her. "Water," I reply. Avi rushes downstairs to fetch me some water, then comes back up. I reach out to grab the cup, but Avi tells me, "Your cuts need to be relieved of any stress should they heal properly. I'll do it for you." "I'm pretty sure I can pick up a cup that weighs a few ounces," I reply and snatch the cup from him, but it was heavier than it looked, and my veins must've been weaker than I thought as I felt something tear. I wince in pain, dropping the cup as I grab my left arm with my right one. Avi instantly caught the cup, and came over to nurture me. I lay my arms back down, and Avi placed the cup to my mouth, tilting it slightly so that I could drink from it. Once I was done I thanked him, and Natalie and Kevin, Avi's father, got up and retreated to their rooms, leaving only me and Avi.
Avi was watching me like a hawk, and I closed my eyes, trying to block out the throbbing pain in my left arm. Out of nowhere he asks, "Why did you do it Ian?" I looked at him and I could see his golden eyes searching me for an answer. "Do what?" I asked all innocent, to stall him from asking the inevitable question. "You know what I mean, stop trying to play dumb," he replied. "Why did you cut yourself?" He glanced at me with uneasiness, and looked as if he was on the verge of crying. "What do you think?" I inquired coldly. "Is something troubling you? You can talk to me about anything, I am always here for you," he replied. "No shit Sherlock, something is troubling me, and if you were always here for me then I wouldn't have started cutting now would I?" I retort harshly. That did it. That crushed him. Tears finally started streaming down his face, and he stared at me, hurt by my words. I stare back at him, and pity him for being so weak. "If you didn't want to talk about it then you should've just said so, you didn't have respond to me so brutally. I was only interested in your well being, and I was only trying to care for you! Without me you would be dead right now, but you don't even thank me for that!" he said, with despair in his voice with a hint of anger mixed in. "Who knows, maybe I wanted to die, it would teach mother and father a lesson. You should've just let me be Avi, I would finally know peace if you had," I respond in a calm voice. He got up, disgusted at the words that he just heard. "You know what, fuck you! If you want to kill yourself then go ahead, be my guest!" he snarled, and with that, he exited the room. I grin, succeeding in pissing him off. I turn over and go to sleep.
The next two days went by relatively calm. I missed New Year's but whatever; I'll still be the same this year as the last. Avi has been avoiding me, and his dad has been at work, checking in occasionally, leaving only Natalie to provide me company. She was feeding me some chicken noodle soup, which tasted great. When we were finished, she looked at me and told me, "Avi made that just for you. He cares a lot about you as do I and my husband. What happened Tuesday hurt him. Yes I know, he should've taken the hint that he should not have kept trying to pry into you for answers, but you didn't have to treat him as you did." She looks at me with deep concern, and I can only fell guilt right now. "Sorry," I say. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, he is," she replied pointing to Avi, who was standing at the doorway. I didn't even see him, let alone sense his presence.
We gaze into each other's eyes for a second, and then he walks over to me. He sits down right beside me, and I get up into a sitting position. "I'm sorry," I tell him sincerely. "I shouldn't have snapped on you like that, I just wasn't in a good mood Tuesday, as you could probably tell, and I just wanted to be alone. It's only natural that you wanted to know what happened, but there are boundaries and you simply ignored them." "I'm sorry as well," He replies. "For trying to pry into you for answers over what happened during the break. I was only trying to care for you because you're my best friend, and I love you." I looked at Natalie to see if she if she was fazed but what he said, but she wasn't, just beaming like the sun. I look at him, the nicest, handsomest wolf in the world, and smiled saying, "I love you too." Natalie got up and left, leaving only me and him in the room.
I asked him to join me under the blanket, and he accepted the invitation. He crawled in right beside me, and we wrapped our arms around each other. We were smiling and looking at each other forever, until he finally asked, "What are you looking at?" "Only the most perfect wolf in the world," I replied, and I came in for a kiss. We had a make out session that lasted for an eon, and only stopped when we both grew tired and fell asleep into each other's arms. I finally found peace, granted it was not the peace I was looking for, it was so much better in so many ways. Though this is temporary, as I gave to return home, I will enjoy this while it lasts; being next to the one I love. I'll tell him when he wakes up, should he want to. I'll tell him only if he wants to hear it, for I don't want to ruin the moment. This week may be the last week I may ever see him.