Ander - Part 5: Subchapter 14
14
The clouds were still building, but the wind was starting to die down and the shadowy branches of the oak were slowing to a gentle sway. They had made small talk in that tiny room for a while longer, not really saying anything until it was time to say goodbye. Sarah came to visit him often after that, usually alone, but not because Michael had found a dislike in his 'bastard step-son' (as he insisted on calling him), but because he understood that this was a time of healing, not just for Ander, but for his wife as well. Every time she came in, Ander could see the changes becoming more apparent. All her nervous little ticks and mannerisms were disappearing. She no longer stretched out the neckline of her dress or frumpled the material around her knees. She didn't look away when people talked to her anymore, but returned their gaze with confidence. In some ways, it was like she was turning into a whole new vixen. But maybe that wasn't so surprising. He, after all, was slowly turning into a whole new Wolf.
The days went by, and each time the sun rose on a new one, his pain was slightly less. A large part of that was thanks to Bethany's strict regimen of potent medicines and rich foods, but what really got him out of that bed so quickly was the care and devotion of those around him.
Layla would come in and read to him every day, mostly short stories and fables, and sometimes she'd also teach him the letters of the Fox alphabet, which were more numerous and complicated than Old Wolven, but also more refined, more varied, better able to express words and feelings the old pictographs and symbols could never touch on. Layla said he was progressing fantastically, but it still took him a whole hour just to memorize enough letters to be able to write down the names of all the Wolves and Foxes he knew without making any mistakes. It was nice of her to act impressed, though.
Thinking about Layla made him laugh out loud. In return for teaching him the Fox letters, he had taught her some of the Wolven symbols, which were really just a bunch of scratchy pictures used to quickly differentiate between different names and titles and types of food, or to convey distance and direction. But when she showed him her version of the symbols he had grown up with his whole life, he laughed so hard he almost passed out from the pain in his sides. Beaming with pride, she had held up a large square of paper neatly lined with all the pictographs he had described to her, but with one minor personal alteration. The Wolf, the deer, the rabbit, the bear, the fish, even the snake, every symbol for any living creature, she had drawn them all with huge, comical smiles on their faces, and it was just so perfect, it completely summed up everything, and Ander just laughed. Layla joined in, and soon they were laughing so hard Bethany had to come in and stop them before he could tear his stitches.
Rufio's visits were more sparse, but no less interesting. They'd mostly talk about crafting, stuff like metallurgy, smithing, carpentry. Ander would explain to him some of the ideas he had concocted back in his old tribe, a bit sheepishly at first, half-expecting more derision and mockery, but he was surprised to hear that Rufio not only found his ideas interesting, but even doable, given the right equipment (something Ander never had access to). This made him even more eager to get back on his feet.
And then of course, there was Kiana. Every time she came through that door his heart would thump in his chest and heat would spread across his face. She'd close the door and turn around with a swish of her tail and a coy little smile, and she'd say 'Hey', and he'd say 'Hey' right back. Then she'd practically skip over to him, bypassing the bedside chair completely. Space on the bed was limited, though, so they had to squeeze together tightly to make it work (not that either of them minded). Lying together like that they'd talk of all kinds of things; friends, family, all the happenings of the world outside, but most of all, they talked about the future, the places they'd go once he healed up enough, and the things they'd do once they got there. There was a lake to the South, a bit too cold for swimming this time of year, but simply walking there, following a narrow path snaking its way through the tall grass, and then sitting by the bank in the shade of an old apple tree, throwing pebbles at the water and watching the ripples spread out forever and ever sounded like heaven to Ander's ears.
Sometimes they didn't speak at all. Sometimes they just lay there, side by side, holding each other, listening to each other's hearts beating, Kiana always on top of the blankets so that she could make a quick move to the chair in case they heard any footsteps approaching. It hurt him every time she had to do that, though, like they were connected by hooks that would tear at his flesh every time she had to leave. And then the door would open and there would be Bethany with fresh bandages or Layla with a book under her arm or Rufio chewing on a pipe he still wasn't allowed to light. They didn't think Rufio would mind them getting closer than just friends, and Layla might just jump to the moon for joy if she ever found out (that's if she didn't know already) but Beth was harder to predict, and they both agreed it would be wiser to keep their love for each other a secret, at least for the time being.
Still... constantly having to keep an ear open... Foxes always coming and going... It was that, more than any other factor, that practically catapulted Ander out of bed and into a home of his own.
So he and Kiana could get some much-needed privacy.
Bethany didn't like it, though. Not one bit. "What do you mean you're all better!?" she had shouted.
"I mean I'm all better," Ander assured her, showing her just how much better he had gotten, doing a little spin, waving his right arm (not the left, though, that one still hurt like a bitch, but he had no intention of telling her that).
"You, Ander, are full of nonsense! Now get back in bed!"
"But, Kai! Really, I'm fine!"
"You won't be much longer of you don't get back in bed right now!"
"I've done nothing but lie in that bed for weeks. I want to go outside!"
"Don't make me climb up there! I will give you a right slap!"
"Surely a little exercise can only do me good?"
It had gone back and forth like that all morning, but eventually (with a little soft persuasion from the rest of the family) she had agreed to let him go outside for one hour each day, as long as he promised not to do anything too strenuous and to head right back the moment he got tired. So naturally the first thing he did was go and climb hills looking for a suitable spot to build his new home.
And so his thoughts came full circle, back to where he was sitting right now, on a surprisingly comfy wooden bench just outside his quaint little cottage in the shadow of an oak tree on 'Wolf Hill', his mind scrambling to find something else to daydream about so he wouldn't have to go back to the task at hand, the task which was supposed to be fun, but only grew more difficult the further he progressed, one last promise he still had to keep, but only made him sadder and sadder with every notch and hew.
Ander sighed and picked up the little carving which had been sitting by his side, perfectly silent, as if it had been patiently listening to his thoughts this entire time.
He ran his thumb across the legs, the body, the straggly tail, feeling for any imperfections, but could find none. It was practically finished, all except for one detail.
This carving had no face. The head's shape was perfect, as were the ears, but it had no eyes or mouth.
Ander moved it to his other hand and picked up the knife Rufio had given him. It was too big and unwieldy for a Fox to use on anything artistic, but the handle fit Ander's palm snugly, and the tip was perfect for a delicate operation such as this. He hovered it just above the little Wolf's face, trying to imagine the contours of the mouth and eyes, but it just wouldn't come. He tried again, willing himself to see the carving in its finished state. It was an ability he had always taken for granted, but now it showed him nothing other than that blank, empty face.
Ander touched the blade to the rough wood surface, thinking for the hundredth time that he should just start, get it over with, the familiar lines and curves would just appear by themselves once he got going. But, also for the hundredth time, he pulled back the blade, not having made a single scratch. And now, after reliving the journey in his head, he knew why.
It's because he didn't know if Hezzi was happy anymore.
The first carving he had made for his little brother was identical to its recipient: radiantly happy, smiling from ear to ear. But did that Hezzi still exist?
There was so much anger and sadness locked away behind those silvery grey eyes of his now. So much hurt and confusion.
Ander put the blade back against the wood, willing himself to see Hezzi smile once more, even if it was only a picture in his imagination, but every time he tried all he could see was that sad, sad eye staring at him from the other side of the tribal wall, watching his big brother leave him behind, possibly forever.
If Ander put a smile on this carving's face, would that not be the biggest lie he had ever told?
Ander put the knife down, ran his hand through his hair, and looked down at the little carving, wondering if he'll ever be able to finish it knowing that Hezzi was still stuck in that living hell on the other side of the mountain. But maybe he was overthinking things again? Hezzi never saw the tribe as a nightmare. He saw it as a home, a place not of monsters and misery, but of friends, family, and good times. He angered many by sticking up for his big brother, but maybe he was right. Maybe it would all blow over. Maybe things really would go back to the way they always were.
Or maybe Hezzi was sitting all alone in his tent day after the day, filling the gap he had left behind as the tribe's new outcast.
Ander didn't know. He just didn't know. And there was no way for him to find out. He lightly caressed the carving's blank face, wondering what expression might be carved into it one day, if any, and he said: "I miss you, Hezzi."
The wind shifted, and the scents of wildflowers and the pleasant smell of decaying oak leaves drifted by his nose, but this time there was a new aroma added to the mix, one he's been looking forward to all day, even if it did seem a bit... off, for some reason.
He smiled. It was about time she showed up.
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