Ander - Part 5: Subchapter 6
6
He wasn't lying on the cold, hard ground anymore. No sharp stones or scratchy twigs digging into his back. This was soft and warm. He knew this feeling. It was the peace of sleep that always lingered for a few minutes just before you woke up completely, giving you just enough awareness to realize that you were asleep, but not so much that you felt you had to get up right away. Ander sunk down even deeper into whatever he was lying on, so soft and warm, and he simply appreciated the way he felt in that exact moment. There was no pain, there was no fear, there was no seemingly unconquerable obstacle looming before him. There was only softness, and warmth, and peace, and the thing that kept poking and prodding at his arms and legs, constantly muttering and cursing. Wait, what was that?
Ander slowly opened his bleary eyes, and the first thing he saw was Bethany bending over him, tending to his wounds. He looked around and the pictures on the walls told him he was back in their spare bedroom, lying on the same bedroll he first woke up in such a long time ago, as if he had come full circle. He tried to say something (he didn't for the life of him know what), but it came out sounding like, "Ehsehhh..."
Bethany jumped as if stung, and next thing he knew she was simultaneously telling him off, listing his injuries, shouting at him some more, thanking the gods he was still alive, and yelling at him for nearly undoing all her expert work.
"Awake are you? 'Bout bloody time! You had everybody so worried, you stupid, stupid Wolf! Make me work through the night keeping you alive! Barely any sleep at all! Changing bandages, stitching wound upon wound! Right shoulder lacerated! Nose broken! Left arm broken! Left ear torn! Two cracked ribs! Left hand pierced right through! Countless cuts and bruises! Severe blood loss! And to top it all off, one punctured left lung! Looked like you'd gotten mauled by a hundred angry bears, I swear to the gods!"
"...eth..."
"Don't you talk back to me, Mr. Wolf! I thought you -" Bethany looked away, sniffed quickly, and Ander realised with some alarm that she was very nearly crying. "Your first batch of stiches barely out and now you've got a whole new set in there. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous! I -"
"...thank... you..." There was so much more he wanted to say, but he didn't know where to begin, and those two little words were all he could manage with his current strength.
"Kiana is the one you should thank," Bethany said, unspooling a roll of bandages between her hands with the speed and dexterity that only came with long years of practice. "Kiana and Layla and Sarah. Even Lonin's boys and Devin. They're the ones that came to help you. All I did was..." Her hands stopped their frenzied work, and she hung her head in shame. "It's my job to help people, and all I did was rush you out the door as fast as I could. I'm so sorry, Ander. I didn't think it would end up this way..."
Ander wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault, but he was beginning to suspect it was more than just the aftermath of his execution staying his tongue. He felt lightheaded and woozy, and the empty bottles lined up on the nightstand was all the evidence he needed to know his brain must be swimming in every kind of medicine Bethany had at her disposal. Still, it wouldn't hurt to try.
"You care for your family... very much..." he said, stopping to take a breath every few words. "That's... your real job... and you did it... perfectly."
Bethany smiled, her eyes shining. "Is that how you got away, Ander? By turning sin into virtue?"
No, Beth. All I did was get my butt kicked. It was my friends who helped me out. On both sides of the mountain.
If only the things he wanted to say didn't contain so many troublesome words. He was getting so sick of this. It felt like he'd been doing nothing but sleep lately, but he was still so damn tired. He didn't want to be tired. He didn't want to be stuck in this bed. He wanted to go outside. He wanted to run. He wanted to start living again. And even more than living...
He wanted to see Kiana.
As if summoned by his thoughts, there came a soft tapping at the door. "Ma? Is everything... okay in there? We heard shouting, and... we know you asked us not to disturb you, but..."
Bethany regarded Ander with a sly little smile he's never seen on her before, and she asked him, "How about it, Ander? You think you have strength enough for a pair of rowdy visitors?"
Ander nodded his head so fast it hurt his shoulder, but he didn't care.
"All right then, but only for a little while." She turned to the door. "You can come in."
Ander watched the knob turn and the door slowly swing open, just a crack at first, so that all he could see was a sliver of blue dress and a single eye peeking in, the most beautiful eye in the whole world, and then it flew open all at once with a shout of "Ander, you're awake, by the gods!!"
Next thing he knew Kiana had burst into the room, with Layla hot on her tail, and it was all Bethany could do to stop them from literally jumping right on top of him in their excitement. "Easy! Easy!" she shouted. "Don't think I won't throw you out!"
Layla flew around the bed on the left side while Kiana crouched on the right, crying and laughing all at the same time. "Ander, these were the scariest two days of my life! You wouldn't wake up!"
"Everyone said you were going to die!" Layla added.
Ander blinked, first looking at Layla, then at Kiana. Maybe his eyes weren't fully recovered yet, because they looked, well...
Their fur was a mess and they had awful shadows underneath their eyes and their fingernails were chewed down to the wick.
"You both look terrible..." Ander croaked.
There was a moment of silence, and then everyone burst out laughing, even Bethany, although she did it much more lady-like than her daughters.
"Oh, Ander!" Kiana gasped. "If you weren't so banged up I'd give you the biggest hug right now!"
Ander tried to open his arms, only to discover that both of them were in slings. Kiana must have seen the movement beneath his bedding, though, because she turned to Bethany. "Would that be okay?" she implored. "Please, Mother?"
Bethany frowned.
"Pleeeease?" Layla pressed the attack.
"Oh, all right," Bethany relented. "But be very careful, especially around his left side. No squeezing. And don't touch any of his bandages, either, I'm still changing them."
Layla and Kiana's arms crossed underneath his chin, and then he felt their hands on his neck and their warm cheeks press against his, one on either side, feather soft.
"I missed you," he whispered, barely able to keep his eyes open. This was better than any medicine Bethany could ever give him.
"I missed you, too," Kiana whispered in his ear. Layla couldn't speak at all, and only deigned to nod her head, brushing her face against his neck.
All I ever wanted was a place where I could belong. A place where I could know what it feels like to love and be loved...
This was it. His life's dream finally come true. He had to walk down a road of blood, death, and tears, but he had done it. He was finally here, and no one would come to take it away. This is what he had suffered for, and it was all worth it. Every shred of pain, every drop of blood, every tear spilled. It was all worth it.
"So, finally awake, are you?"
Ander looked over Kiana's head and past Bethany's shoulder and wasn't surprised at all to see Rufio leaning in the doorway, dead pipe in hand.
Ander smiled. "Yes."
"And did you..." Rufio lowered his head just a tiny bit, and a shadow crossed his brow, "...take care of what needed taken care of?"
Ander nodded. "It's done. It's over."
Rufio let out a huge, slow sigh. Ander could almost see the worry melt away. "That's good. That's very, very good. A lot of anxious Foxes will finally be able to sleep again. But what about you, son? Feeling all right?"
"I've never been better."
Layla chuckled a little at his words, and it was a beautiful sound to hear, but Ander wasn't joking. He was being dead serious, and Rufio understood it instantly.
"That's great news," he said, holding up his pipe. "Maybe now Beth'll let me light up again? What do you say, darlin'?"
Bethany whirled around and Ander could have sworn there was smoke issuing from her nostrils and sparks flying from her eyes. "Ander has a punctured lung, Rufio!!" she shouted.
Rufio backed up, his hands raised in mock surrender. "Whoa! Sorry I asked!"
Layla and Kiana giggled, but Bethany did not share their sense of humour. "That's it!" she said, flipping her hands as if she were shooing a particularly bothersome fly. "Ander's had more than enough excitement for now! Out, out! All of you! Shoo!"
Layla joined her father obediently enough, but Kiana lingered for a while. "I'll come keep you company every second I'm able, okay?" she said, lightly caressing his cheek.
Bethany cleared her throat loudly and said, "I will tell you when you are able to keep him company, and now is not such a time, thank you very much!" but she might as well have been on the other side of the world.
Ander nodded, and even after Kiana was ushered out of the room, he could still feel the lingering touch of her fingers on his face.
What followed was considerably less pleasant, namely an hour of getting poked and prodded by a vixen intent on keeping him alive despite the fact that he was no longer in any danger of dying.
"That's what you think!" she said the moment he dared bring it up, but Ander didn't mind. He was happy to be alive, happy to just drift in the knowledge that everything had worked out in the end.
Happy to be happy.
*
Ander chuckled at the memory of Bethany fussing over him like a giant cub those first few days, diligently changing his bandages every six hours, carefully checking his stiches, forcing the most noxious green goop down his throat after every meal. He suspected it was her way of making amends. Every time he tried to tell her she didn't have anything to be sorry for, she'd get all huffy and tell him to shut up and let her do her job, like he would just drop dead any moment without her constant fretting.
And all the while poor Rufio was only allowed to smoke his pipe in the deepest darkest corner of the smithy, where it was always smoky anyway.
Ander's chuckles grew into full-blown laughter, something he's never done so often in his old life. His left elbow gave him a sharp sting in protest to the sudden movement, and his laughter suddenly devolved into a series of rapid ow-ow-ow's.
I really have to be careful with this thing, he thought, shifting his arm to a more comfortable position. Last time Bethany came up here to check on him she said it was healing very well, but he'd best not overdo it.
Be thankful you didn't lose the whole thing, he could hear her voice in his head. The break was so nasty I almost had to amputate, and I don't need to tell you how messy that can be. What exactly did they do to you, Ander? You still haven't told us anything.
Ander would have shuddered if he wasn't already so focussed on keeping his arm still. He'd never tell anyone what happened to him on that dark, red night, no matter how much they asked.
But ask they did.
Bethany, Layla, Rufio, even Kiana, all of them wanted to know what had happened on the other side of the mountain, but there was only one answer he would give.
"They will not attack Grovenglen, and as long as my father remains Chieftain, his promise is law."
But then why did you choose to build your home way up on this hill, Ander? a voice asked deep inside his mind, so deep he could almost ignore it. Why not live closer among the Foxes? Oh sure, it's nice and quiet up here, very private, a quaint little sanctuary where you and Kiana can be alone together, away from prying eyes. But that's not the only reason, is it?
No, it wasn't.
The wind gusted and Ander watched the oak's shadow buck and heave across the clumps of snow at his feet, swaying back and forth, the gentle whispers of the last surviving leaves not quite matching the violent undulations rolling out before him.
The Foxes now called this place 'Wolf Hill', but what it really was, was a lookout. This was as close to the village he could get while still affording himself an unobstructed view of the Cora and, more importantly, the Cora's Pass. If the Wolves were to attack, that's where they would come from.
Ander gave his head a little shake and tried to tell himself he was just being paranoid. Father would definitely keep his promise. There's no way he would ever let anything bad happen to the vixen he once loved, but still...
It's perfectly all right to hope for the best, as long as you're prepared for the worst.
Are you prepared, Ander? that wicked voice popped up again, that voice that sounded so much like Banno. What are you going to do if an army of Wolves swarms out of those woods right now? What are you going to do?
Ander didn't know, but the only thing between this hill and the Cora was a thin strip of woods and an open ocean of fields and meadows. At the very least, he'd be able to see them coming a mile away.
Just enough time for you to grab Kiana and make a run for it, eh? How selfish of you, Ander, how unbelievably se---
Ander forcibly squashed that thought before it could get a chance to get going, and one the best ways to get rid of unpleasant thoughts was to simply think of something else, and as was habit with him, his thoughts inevitably drifted towards Kiana. She normally came to visit around this time, but it seemed like she was running a little late today. He wondered where she was right now and what she was doing, and how many minutes more he'd have to wait before he could sweep her into his arms again.
Ander smiled and looked up at the clouds. There were a lot of them now, thick and grey, and they were moving quite fast. A sudden gust of icy cold wind blew around his legs, and Ander wondered if a storm might be coming. Wherever Kiana was, he hoped she was wrapped up nice and warm.
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