FSE

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The night winds blew through my antlers and sent tingles down my spine. I stood there in the frigid tundra, my tail occasionally twitching as I looked up at the stars across the sky. From above, I felt as though they were looking back down at me, trying to instill the courage that I needed to go through with tonight. "Mmm..." I hummed nervously. "I don't know...I just don't know anymore..."

I held up the small gift to my eyes and looked over the bright green wrapping paper speckled with miniature space ships and held together by a crimson red ribbon. "I know it's what he wanted, but what if someone else got it for him? What then?" I paced back and forth, my thoughts racing as quickly as my heart. God, I'm an idiot...

"Peter!" called out a voice in the distance. My ears perked up and the voice went on to say, "Jaden's mom's here! Hope you're ready!" I sighed and my ears fell, my brief moment of muscle tension over. Now or never, Peter...

I turned to the voice, cupped a hand, and put it next to my lips as I called back to her, "Be right there, Mom!" Before I left, I gave one last look to the stars to gather their strength and tried to steel myself, my entire body shivering.

My hooves effortlessly crushed the piles of snow beneath me, creating a constant rhythm of crunch, crunch as I went. To keep my mind away from the thoughts of doubt, I instead turned them to the twinge of joy I'd felt for Jaden's party.

A prickling sensation ran down my spine, different from that of the chilled air as I suddenly thought his name: Jaden. I paused and the air resumed its silence. Ugh...what is wrong with me? Ever since I'd turned twelve my mind started to get fuzzy whenever I thought of him...maybe I'm just weird like everyone says.

"Jaden doesn't think I'm weird." Surprised by my own voice, I looked around, and then realized it'd been me. Sighing, I raised my left leg to start the cycle again.

Once I made my way back home, my entire body seemed to jitter with excitement--seemed. To anyone who was really looking at me, they might've seen the fear hidden deeply within my icy blue eyes. Regardless of my state, I pulled open the back door and walked into the kitchen. As soon as my first hoof hit the tiled floor my mom rushed over to me and put her hands on her hips, an annoyed look on her face.

Trying to avoid her gaze, I walked past her and gave her a wave as I passed. In a shaky tone I said to her, "Bye, I'll try not to stay out too late."

The air subtly shifted as she turned her head, her eyes locked on me, but I still timidly shied away from meeting them.

"Tell me," she ordered.

I froze mid-step and whimpered, "What?"

She walked up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder, causing me to shudder as she started rubbing it a little. "Tell me what's wrong, Peter Lobroni."

"N-nothing," I stuttered. "I-I'm j-just a little bit c-cold."

"Young man..."

Without thinking, I turned to face her and the look in her deep brown eyes sent a wave of warmth over my entire body. She's...not mad?_At that moment, my mind blanked, but she gave me enough time to find my words again. "I, um...I didn't zip up my coat and I forgot my gloves." Her face hadn't changed and for a split second, I thought she might not've heard me. "But, don't worry! I'll be warm at Jaden's place!" _There it was again...just by saying his name..."Jaden."

Without a word she pulled me close to her and wrapped her arms around me. I couldn't resist such a loving invitation and returned the gesture, giving her a tight hug. All my worries melted away and in her arms, I felt like everything was...okay. "If anything goes wrong, just ask to use someone's phone and I'll get you right away," she said softly.

She loosened her hold on me and I backed away a little, just enough for me to look up at her and nod. From behind me--outside the front room door--a car honked three times and I knew Jaden's mom was becoming impatient. "I'll stay close to the heater," I said meekly as we let go off each other. She hummed in acknowledgement and I ran over to the door. I stood there and took in one last warm breath into my lungs before thrusting myself into the cold.

***

Christmas lights were strung up all over the snowy, white house I approached. Ahead of me, Jaden's mom--who was a much larger sabre tooth tiger-- was trying to open the door to her home. I took my time, however, admiring the lovely mix of red, green, and blue that livened up the otherwise plain looking white sheet dragged from the roof to the lawn beside me. Unsurprisingly, the only part of the place without a single snowflake atop it was the driveway, which was kept meticulously clean. Even the fresh snow tracks I'd unintentionally coated portions of it in didn't seem to stick to the surface.

"C'mon, Petey! Whatcha waitin' for?" Jaden's mom called to me. She snapped me out of my dreamlike state and I waved to her, forgetting how to speak at the time. I was determined not to let my rising nerves take hold of me again, but I could already feel them making my heart race again. The door screeched open and the music on the other side filled the air, assaulting my ear drums and energizing me from the inside out.

The crevice between the door and the frame around it grew wider and the light from inside made a line of light shine from her face to her midsection. It was then I heard another voice--a familiar voice. "Petey!" There was a pause. Then the voice continued, "He's here, everybody!"

My heart skipped a beat, my palms sweating despite the cold as I turned to see him. He pushed his mom out of the way and wore a cheerful smile on his face, showing off his sabre fangs at the ends of his front row of teeth between them. He waved to me and I couldn't help but smile back at him, my tail twitching under my coat. "Hey Jaden," I blurted out.

"Hey, man!" He stopped in front of me and dug his paws into his pockets. "Where've ya been? I started to think you weren't comin'." I shrugged and chuckled nervously. "I know you're not big on crowds and all, but...you're stayin', right?"

"Err, well...how many furs are there?"

His eyes rolled back and he took a paw out of his pocket to touch it to his lips. "Mmm...not too many. Maybe thirty or forty..."

My eyes shot open, then settled, my right eye twitching. "What?! In the whole house?"

I could tell he was holding back laughter. "Nah, dude."

I clutched my chest and let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God..."

"Those are just the guys in the front room."

I stared into his eyes blankly and scratched the back of my head. "Errrrr..." I stalled.

He patted me on the shoulder a few times playfully and said, "Just messin' with ya, moose-pants! Anyway, it's freakin' cold out here, let's get inside."

Jaden then spun around to face his door and ran to it with me following closely behind. I went in after him, the bright lights nearly blinding me as I walked in. I threw up an arm to shield my eyes only to accidentally knock someone who was coming to greet me over. Just as quickly as I'd thrown it up, it dropped down and I stuttered a flurry of, "Sorry! Sorry! I'm so sorry...! Merry...Christmas?" I put on a cheesy grin, trying to appeal to their sense of humor at the expense of my pride.

The pup on the ground rubbed the side of his head and then shot me a soul-piercing glare. For a second, I contemplated walking away or letting Jaden handle this, but at the same time I felt a compulsion to fix my mistake. Shyly, I offered the pup my hand and he reluctantly placed his paw in it, allowing me to grip it tightly as I helped him up.

"Sorry, erm, again..." I muttered to the golden pup, my eyes staring at the ground.

"Don't mention it," he said plainly. "Anyway, I came up to ya for your gift. Gotta put it in the pile and all that."

"O-oh...sorry, I um..." I stuttered as my hand unzipped one of my coat pockets and began to feel around for the small package somewhere within.

"Just give me the damn thing, so I can go."

"R-right..." I softly bit into my lip and finally managed to find Jaden's gift. "H-here it i-i-is..." I mumbled as I handed it to him. As soon as the gift was in his possession he turned from me and gave me a good look of his long, fluffy tail. The smoothness is unreal...

It took every last inkling of will-power not to smack myself in the forehead, so instead I looked around at the party and its guests. Over by the tree was Jaden, sitting beside some of his other friends at school. On the other side was the group of, maybe, fifteen other furs all dancing to the never ending stream of Christmas music blasting through the speakers set up everywhere, but hidden behind the tinsel, stockings, and other Christmas decorations.

Finding the scenery around me both stimulating and uninteresting, I looked at Jaden again, a knot forming in the pit of my stomach. God dammit...why can't I just go over there and start talking to him? He's still the same guy...he's still him. I gritted my teeth, feeling a low growl in the deepest regions of my throat. Why...? Why now?

"Pete! Petey!" Huh? What?

I shook my head and blinked twice. Jaden was waving to me and his friends were staring at me like I was the first moose they'd ever seen. My eyes instinctively went from one side of me to the other and I dared to raise a finger to point it to myself. Me?

He gave me a dull look and blinked once. Duh. Embarrassed, I scurried over to him, feeling the atmosphere around me from energetic and carefree to tense and fearful. "Okay, guys this is Petey. Don't be too rough with 'em or he'll give you a jab with one of his antlers," he laughed as he wedged his elbow into one of his companion's ribs. Uncomfortably, I smiled at them, my tail twitching wildly and making a faint tapping noise just under the music.

"Hey..." was all I could think to say. Around me no one's expressions had changed, but their eyes shifted. I desperately searched for another word to follow my greeting--or better yet: a phrase. "Some party, huh? This is the first I've ever been to, but it's uh...it's pretty great right?"

"Yeah, it's tight," an armadillo to my left said dryly.

Jaden nudged him and said, "I'm right here, ya know?" He rolled his eyes, and then looked up at me. "Glad you're havin' fun, Petey. Don't worry the secret Santa stuff's about to start...after that, I think it's just a matter of time before the punch runs out."

"Okay," I mumbled, my eyes trying to dodge his.

Suddenly, the room went quiet and a roar silenced the few furs left speaking after it stopped. We all looked to the source while Jaden rested his head on his paw. "All right, everyone! It's time for presents!" Jaden's mom roared gleefully as she threw her paws up.

My chest rose and fell with a gentle sigh as the furs scattered about the room gathered around the tree. Jaden moved over to reveal a seat just my size, and after patting the spot a few times, I gave into his wishes and sat down beside him.

From there, the night seemed to drag on and on. As much as I liked being next to Jaden, seeing so many gifts being handed out to those I had no intention of knowing or being happy for left me unbelievably bored. Still, each time one of his friends got a new gift card, baseball, or some other item; he'd smile and turn to me, expecting me to smile as well. To be supportive, of course I did, but I couldn't help feeling they were halfhearted in the best sense, and blatantly fake in the worst.

I don't know how many gifts were handed out and I started to lose myself in a daze of nods and false cheerfulness. That is, until I heard his mom say, "Jaden! We've got a gift for Jaden!" A genuine smile crept onto my face and I turned to the side to hide it from him as he got up to get his present. Once he sat back down beside me he marveled at the wrapping paper for a few seconds before tearing it to shreds. My tail twitched excitedly, and I watched his face in anticipation of his reaction.

It wasn't long before Jaden reached the small brown box hidden beneath the colorful paper and he used a claw to cut away the tape keeping it together. He parted the box's flaps and peered inside, his face instantly lighting up and his upper body rising out of his seat.

"Yes! Yes!" he squealed. "Finally! I can finally play football now! Yes!" He pulled out of the box two bright green brace-like covers for his sabres with soft buds at the ends for his fangs' tips. "Man, how'd you guys know?" Everyone looked around at each other with confused and questioning glances and soon the excitement was drained from Jaden's face. He sat back in his seat and looked over at me, showing me the gift and how it sparkled in the light. I knew the next time I saw him, he'd be wearing them and I nodded at his words of praise for it.

While everyone was still distracted by their confusion as to who bought the gift he whispered into my ear, "Thanks."