FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"Where have you been?" The voice of my father startles me as I walk in the door. His voice is stern but his eyes are friendly. My dad is almost never home because of his job, he is always really busy, so we don't have a great relationship. But when he is, here he is pretty cool. "I was just hanging out with a friend." I say. He nods, then turns back to his work. I walk up my stairs and down the narrow, dimly lit hallway to my bedroom.

I pull out some of my school books and get started on the 1000 pounds of homework that is due tomorrow. I am about to get started when my phone buzzes, I check to see who it is, and I smile when I see it's Ryan. He said "Hey I had a really good time today. I hope we can hang out again real soon!" My tail wags a little while I read this. "Me to! Maybe we can work something out tomorrow at school." I say, "Sure!, see you then!" he says back. I have not felt this happy since when my mom was around. I think back to the last time she was with us, it has been a long time. I tear up a little bit, I'm not strong enough to deal with these emotions. But it is too late, I am remembering now, and I can't stop myself from reliving the nightmare that took place almost 5 years ago.

I was 11 years old. I had just gotten off the bus from school and was walking from the bus stop. I walked through the front door of our house into the pale green living room and yelled, "Mom, I'm home from school!" I waited, but there was no answer. "Mom?" I said again. "Are you here?" I quickly walked up the stairs to her bedroom. "She must not have heard me, she is probably on the treadmill listening to music or something." I thought to myself. I opened my parents bedroom door. "Do you know if dad will be home tonight? Because I-" I am cut short as I am hit over the head with my moms bedside lamp. I fall to the floor, blood running down the back of my head, pain throbbing and I can barely keep consciousness, but I am awake long enough to see a man in a black mask pull out a handgun and shoot my mother in the back of her head. I can't move, I am in a state of shock, and the pain is too much to handle. I see the man take our jewelry box and put it in a bag probably filled with a bunch of other valuables, and quickly walk out of the room. My moms lifeless body lies on the floor, but I can't help her. I am frozen, couldn't move if my life depended on it, but this was much worse than losing my life, I was losing the life of the person I cared most about, and it was all happening so quickly. Tears started to fall down my face as I realized she was gone.I let out a quiet sob I couldn't hold in anymore. "Mom..."

Tears are silently running down my face now. I quickly pull out my knife and let the cool blade run up my wrist. It doesn't hurt that much, but it gives me a temporary distraction to the emotional pain I am feeling right now. I look down at the hundreds of scars I left there. A thin layer of blood runs down my arm. I have to wash it out before the blood stains my fur. I jump i the shower really quickly and scrub the blood out of my white fur. Red water falls to the floor of the shower, the soap burns a lot, but it feels better than the pain of remembering what happened to my mother.

I finish up my homework and go to sleep. I am excited to see Ryan tomorrow!

My alarm sounds and I wake up. I look out the window, its still dark out. "Good." I think to myself. I open up the window and sit down on the panels of the roof, the cool wind hits my face, It is very refreshing. The suns bright light hits the horizon and I am once again mesmerized as the colors of the sun rise against the landscape it contrasts. It is a truly beautiful sight.

I get off the school bus and look around for Alex and his friends, but they are no where to be found. I smile to myself and proceed to first period. Ryan is there already. He sees me and goes a little red and waves. I wave back and sit down next to him. "Hi!" he says, his tail wagging a little. "Would you maybe want to hang out after school again? Come over to my house and study or something?" I laugh, "Sure!" I say, "But you've only been here for a day, what could you possibly need to study for!?" He smiles, "Maybe I'm just looking for a reason to hang out with you." He says quietly. I laugh again, "Sounds great! I'll see you after school!" "Cool!" He says. So are we going out or was the kiss not a big deal to him? I guess I'll find out later.

I finally got to 5th period and saw Alex, he glared at me all period. When the bell rang he didn't get up. He just kept looking at me with a deep hatred. I tried to leave as fast as possible to avoid the ass-kicking I was going to receive. Some sort of revenge for Ryan standing up for me. I'm not sure if or when it is happening, but I am scared for when it comes. Lastly is art. I start a new project today, and I know exactly what I want to do. I go over to the supply room and grab a piece of paper, chalk pastels, and a kneaded eraser. "This is going to be my best project ever!" I think to myself.