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I walked along the edge of the cliff thinking about what I wanted to say, and how to apologize for the issue that had happened just a few hours ago. But I knew it was pointless because as soon as I saw him I totally forgot anything I wanted to say or tell him. He was an attractive German Shepard with a tall and muscular build. His fur was brown orange black and blended together perfectly. It was really frustrating. So we sat at the edge and watched as the sun began to drop, a group of breathtaking colors lined up along the horizon creating a beauty that could only be replace by the sparkle in his eyes and the smile on his face.

The way the sun reflected off his body was amazing. I found myself staring and quickly turned away. I knew he saw me, but he didn't show it. "So...." He finally said, breaking the long silence. "Why did you call me down here anyway?"

I didn't say anything. I had nothing to say, all I really wanted to do was spend time with him.

So we continued to sit in the quiet, watching as the sun dipped below the horizon. I wanted to tell him so badly but every time I tried I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Look man..." He said to me, "I'm not sure why you called me to come over here, but you haven't said a word to me in like a half hour... What's going on?"

"It's nothing..." I said pretty much to myself, "You can go if you want."

He sighed. "I don't want to leave, I'm just worried about you. It seems like we hang out more and more, but we're taking less and less." He said staring straight into my eyes, as if the answer was hidden in them.

"I'm sorry, I just don't know what to say anymore... Ever since we..."

I was cut short by his words. "We swore we'd never talk about that ever again.

"I know but"

"Look, just, let's not talk about it again ok? What happened happened and it's over."

"I know it's over..." I thought to myself. "I just wish it wasn't."

"I'm gonna leave and I think you should too. I'm sorry for what happened but we just need to forget. It's done and there is nothing we can do about it now."

"Ok..." I said quietly as I tried to hold back the tears. I quickly walked off not looking back even though I knew he was watching me as I left him alone out at the cliff.

I wiped a tear off my face because I knew he would never love me no matter what I did. Whatever we had was ruined that night at the party, and I've regretted the mistake I made ever since.

At this point he must know that I like him, but he won't say it or talk about it... And that damn night. I knew he was wasted but I just wanted him so bad right then and there.

It was a moment of weakness and I ruined the little chance I had with him. But even though I know he doesn't love me I can't help being in love with him.

I started my long walk home. Not to sure what to do with myself, I wouldn't be able to focus on really anything for a while and wasn't to sure if it mattered to me. I was becoming very depressed. I am a wolf with tinged of orange fur along my back and tail from my dads side. I'm not very strong, physically or mentally. I walked in the door and saw my mom. "Hello Jake." She said. I replied back with a hello but tried to just to avoid any conversation, I just didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. I sat down on my bed and closed my bedroom door. It was only about 8:00 at night and my phone rang. It was Kayla. I hesitated to pick it up, but I had to answer my best friend. "Hey Kay! what's up?" I said. Kay was a pretty golden retriever with longer wavy fur. I was surprised she wasn't a teen model or something with her looks. But for some reason she still hangs out with me, despite being a social outcast because of it. "Oh nothing really. But I called you like two days ago after I left the party and you didn't answer. Is everything ok?" I didn't know if I should tell her yet, about anything. She still didn't know I am into guys, but we are best friends and I'm 18 maybe she needs to know... "Hello?" She said, "Hey sorry." I said, "everything's fine." "Oh ok, good!" She said. "So you wanna hang out or something?" I wasn't really in the mood but considering I had basically blown her off for the past two days I agreed to meet her at her house. I left the house and started down the street to her house. It wasn't a far walk, everything in town was within a maximum of about three miles from my house. So I pretty much just walked everywhere. I jumped up the steps to her doorstep, and texted her saying I was here so I wouldn't bother anyone else by knocking. She opened the door and smiled. "What's up Jake!" She said excitedly. "Nothin' really..." I said back. "Why'd you call me over?" "Just come in!" She said. We went into her room, and she sat down. "I was talking to Jeremy..." She started. But I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. No one really knew the truth about me. Well I guess now Jeremy knew... But I wasn't ready to tell Kay. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner..." I said, "I didn't want to lose you as a friend because of this. You know how some people can be." She just shook her head at me and smiled "I probably would've done the same thing. It's a really personal feeling. But I want you to know that I fully support you. If you ever need someone, call me. " I was kind of relieved that she knew I was gay but I wish she didn't know about what happened with Jeremy. Also is Jeremy going around outing me to everyone? "No" I thought "He is still my friend and probably cares about how I feel..." I looked up at Kayla and tears started to form in my eyes. Her smile faded and she immediately sat next to me and said "What's wrong?" I was not really sure what was wrong but I was feeling a deep and painful sadness in my chest. She put her arms around me and tried to comfort me. It was helpful but I just couldn't control myself. I was crying now, but I couldn't stop. "I'm sorry." I said wiping tears from my eyes. "I have been dealing with a lot lately." "It only gets better Jake." She said. "It only gets better..." I wish I could believe her.

I went home about ten minutes later and I arrived back at home at about 8:45. I went back into my room, trying not to make too much noise and walked into my room. I fell against my bed, I wasn't tired but I just wanted to end the day, so I closed my eyes, and wished to never wake up as I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up and wasn't feeling much better. So I wanted to just go back to the cliff. I started to walk out the door and I saw a moving truck down the street. I guess there were new people coming to the neighborhood. I wasn't super into meeting new people so I just kept on walking down the street.

I finally got to the cliff and saw someone else sitting there. He was a fox with grey fur. On the taller side and looked like he could bench press 120. He was really cute so far, but I didn't get a look at his face. I'm not really good with new people so I hesitated before just turning around and going home. He turned his head and said "Hello!" But I pretended I didn't hear him. As I was walking home I got a message from Kay. She said "Hey, are you busy today?"

I texted back "Not really. You wanna hang out?" She replied "Sure!"

I turned back around and started walking back to her house. I finally made it to the door and I knocked. "Come in!!" She yelled from he room.

So I just walked in and ran up the stairs into her room. "What's up?" I asked her. "Nothing with me. But there is a new guy who just moved here." "Was he the guy I saw when I went to the cliff?" I thought. Well, I wasn't to sure but Kay seemed like she wanted to go find the guy so I just went with it. I told her I thought I saw him at the cliff. "Did you talk to him?" She asked. "No." I replied, "You know how I am with people I don't know..." She nodded. "Well we should make friends with him before school starts back up." I agreed with her so we started back to the cliff.

When we got there I was surprised to see that he was still there. He turned again and saw us. He waved. Kay waved back, and so did I. He gave me a weird look and walked over to us. "Hi!!" Said Kay. "Are you new here?" He gave a nervous laugh and replied, "Yea, I just got here early this morning. I'm Tyler by the way." He held out his hand. Kay and I shook it. "Well I'm Kayla but people just call me Kay and this is Jake." Said Kay. "Cool!" He replied. He seemed really nice. "So you wanna hang out today?" Kay asked him. "Let me check..." He said and looked down at his phone. "Yea. I'm free for a few hours." He was really cute, but I usually don't get hung up on guys I don't know. He's probably not gay anyway.

So we all decided to walk down to the movies and see what was out. On the walk there Tyler talked a little about where he came from and his friends back home. He didn't have a whole lot. But then again, neither do I. We finally got to the movie theater and were just in time for the noon show. We bought tickets and went in.

After the movie Tyler had to go so we decided to go home. We all walked together. We got to Kays' house first and we said goodbye then started walking back to our street. It was quiet for a while but then he said to me "Why did you ignore me this morning on the cliff?" I didn't know what to say. After kind of getting to know him I felt bad for doing it. "Sorry..." I replied quietly. He laughed a little and said, "You don't have to apologize. It's just, well you seem really cool." "Thanks." I said. I felt really good inside. It had been a while since anyone had said something that nice to me. "I'd really like to get to know you better. You barely talked today. Maybe we can hang out sometime." He suggested. "Sounds good." I told him. I had already forgotten about Jeremy.

The next day I heard a knock at the door. I looked at the clock and it was 10:30. "Damn..." I said to myself. "I really overslept." I opened the door and saw Tyler. "Hey!" He said. "Hi." I said back. I kind of just looked at him, a little confused. He looked back with a grin and said "You wanna hang out?" Now I was really confused. He wanted to hang out with me. "Ok." I said. "Awesome!" He said. "Oh! And I forgot to give you my phone number!" He gave me a index card with it written down on it. "Thanks." I said. "Text me sometime, okay?" He said. "Sure." I said. So we decided to just play video games at his house for a little while. We were pretty well matched so it was a lot of fun for both of us. We played all day until sundown. I was about to go home but then he said "You wanna go see the stars?" I pondered this idea for a minuet. "Alright..." I said. So we walked down to the cliff and sat down. We looked up at the stars and I listened to him with all the stuff he wanted to do here, when a shooting star passed by. He turned and said, "Make a wish." And before I lost my courage, I leaned in and kissed him. Then I thought "What the hell am I doing!?!" And pulled away. He looked down and blushed. For once he was at a loss for words. "Jake..." He said so softly I almost didn't hear him. I started to tear up and yelled "Sorry!" and ran back home. "Wait!!" He yelled. "Can we talk about it!?" I just kept on running. I couldn't hold it in anymore I just ran straight to my room and threw myself into my bed. My phone buzzed. It was Tyler. I just had to ignore it for now, I couldn't really handle myself right then. I turned off my phone and cried, thinking I ruined my only chance at a new friend, until I fell asleep. When I woke up the next day there were 46 new messages. "I'm dead." I thought, tears forming in my eyes. "I'm dead..."

School was starting back up tomorrow. Another year of being ignored for 8 hours a day and awkward social experiences. Great. I was really dreading seeing Tyler again. We hadn't talked sense the kiss and I wasn't prepared mentally to face him again. I ruined what we had the same way I did with Jeremy and I really didn't think it through. But it was too late now.

I woke up the next morning at 4:45 to be able to take a shower and get ready for the first day. I got to school and sat down to first period. Everything was fine until Tyler walked into the classroom. I tried to just make myself unnoticeable but he saw me, blushed and put his head down. He slowly walked over and sat down next to me. "Can we talk after school?"He asked me with a crack in his voice. I looked up at him and saw tears in his eyes. "Sure." I said back to him. I wasn't sure why he was crying. Through this whole experience I never once considered how he felt emotionally other than he hates me now. "But I guess he probably doesn't hate me. So what's going on?" I thought. He nodded, got up and walked away. I made it through my first 7 classes without any more issues, when in 8th period, Jeremy walked through the door. It wasn't a big deal. But when he saw me leave the school with Tyler I swear I saw a twinge of jealousy in his eyes.

So I was with Tyler now. It was silent as he led me through the forest across the street from the school. I didn't bother protesting, I'd hurt him enough already. He finally pushed the last branch out of the way and walked into a little clearing. There was just a big rock surrounded by a sea of grass. "We need to talk..." He said barely holding back tears. I gulped and nodded as he sat down on the rock. Gesturing me towards him. I took a deep breath and sat down.