FSE

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Hi everyone. I have not been online much due to college taking up most of my time and my own personal feelings have prevented me from writing. I hope for those of you who read this will enjoy it. I will be starring a new character by the name of Night. It is a girl wolf that is rather shy. So I hope you get to enjoy this ^w^

Two Sides

Hi everyone. I have not been online much due to college taking up most of my time and my own personal feelings have prevented me from writing. I hope for those of you who read this will enjoy it. I will be starring a new character by the name of Night. It is a girl wolf that is rather shy. So I hope you get to enjoy this ^w^

Hi everyone my name is Shadow. I'm not very good at this sort of things but I will try my best. I'm a mix breed of fox and wolf so technically I'm a folf. I don't have many friends and I'm not popular because of being a mixed breed. . I was just known as the weird kid that was a good computer person. I didn't do a whole lot of things but now I'm a college fur. But I want to share what happened my freshman year of high school.

Freshman Year

Throughout middle school I had found my group. It was just two friends that I had. One named Fox he was a red fox that was very interested into guns He didn't interact much with others but with us he was very talkative and funny. Then there was him, the one I had hid my feelings from, Phantom a silver wolf who was just perfect. He was so outgoing, funny, and throughout whatever relationship he was in he was so caring. I was bisexual but never told them since I wasn't sure how they were going to handle it. To them I was just the shy one who stayed in the back and didn't get involved much. But even though they knew that I was a shy person they would make me have a great time. I didn't know yet but high school was going to change me into a completely new person.

The first day of class was one of fear, anxiety, and excitement. We all met up in a table during breakfast to see if we had any of the same classes. To my luck I had Fox for my Algebra class and I had Phantom for my Band class, I would get to spend some time with them and enjoy. I was more interested in spending more time with Phantom but I hid my excitement when I found out about the band class. This was a good day for me.

Each day I would just live for the time I got to at least walk with Phantom to the class. We tried to sit closer to each other due to me being an alto saxophone player and him being French horn player. But things changed rather quickly. I strove to be the best in my section to impress him. The rise separated us and our director put us both as section leaders. He was an awesome player but there were few French horn players anyways. I got bad looks from many of the upper classmen. I hated the idea of being in front of others and leading. I disliked leading because I was shy. I never really wanted to stand out and to me it was embarrassing. It was something that I would eventually like to do.

Marching season was great. Staying after class to go out and make something that I found enjoyable. It was also a great bonus that I could get some close practice with his section since we both had very similar parts. The rides in the bus to the out of town games were awesome since I would sit with him. The "Freshman Double" seat up was a perfect excuse to sit with him. Every now and then sneaking in a chance to lay on him and pretend to sleep. His scent was always so nice right after our performance on the field. Him removing his suit after we finish loading up the instruments was like a paradise to me. I didn't want moment like this to end. Throughout the year I slowly gained more confidence. I rose through the ranks in other things that I tried. I joined the schools Computer Science and Computer Apps UIL teams. I also joined our schools mariachi. I played the violin and was the only male violinist in the school. I became head in all of those. I decided after we finish marching in the parade and go to the carnival I would tell him how I really felt. But it would so happen that the night before that a nightmare. We were walking around the carnival and I was nervously sipping my tea. I told him that I had deep feelings for him but he told me that if I ever tried hitting on him he would kill me. I woke up in a cold sweat and shivering in fear.

What could have been the meaning behind the nightmare? I wasn't sure. But I had to keep strong. I wasn't going to let some dumb figment of my imagination get the best of me. In the back of my mind I was still so scared of what was going to happen.

The day of the parade came. It was pretty fun marching through the entire town. Truth be told the walk itself from one side to the other wasn't bad it was just a mile or 2 of marching. My nervousness rose the closer to the end we got. I couldn't remember the notes to the song we were playing like 20 times. It was so irritating! Time seemed to slow down as we reached the end. I searched for Phantom so we could go to Pan de Campo Carnival (I believe it translates to Camp bread carnival). We eventually went back to my house so we could put or instruments up the walk to the carnival. It was a fairly nice walk but a knot started to form in my stomach came into view.

We eventually reached the carnival and wandered around the booths. He was kind enough to buy me a sweet tea and some twizzlers. He looked pretty happy to be walking around me. I wanted to tell him so badly but I was constantly reminding myself of the nightmare. We continued to walk around the area as I nervously sipped my teeth.

I asked nervously "Phantom can I talk to you about something?"

He had looked at me curiously. I never really talk about things. We usually just laugh and make jokes but nothing personal.

He responded with "Sure anything"

He sounded bright and willing to listen. That was always something that I liked about him. Still I couldn't hide my feelings from him anymore so I let it all pour out. I told him how I really felt about him. As anyone would think he was surprised.

My heart was ready to jump out of my chest. This was it. I'm not sure what was going through his mind but I was pretty sure that he was going to say no and the thought of him saying that was enough to bring me to tears.

As I had feared he turned a cold shoulder saying "No. My beliefs and family hate gays. I'm sure you meant well but don't expect anything more than being friends."

I had a lump in my throat. And I had to force out any words "ok"

I wanted to run home and cry. All I could do was force a smile and continue going through the festivities. I just wanted to be home.

After a few hours we decided it's time we head back to our homes. We started going to our homes. We live close by each other so it was good that we could usually go to places together. On the way there was an awkward silence between us. He was on a sugar high and I was depressed. I doubt he would look me in the eyes anymore. This was the first time in a while that I wanted to be home.

Our usual fun conversations stopped. When we reached my house we didn't exchange any words. I knew he didn't want to talk to me now. Maybe Monday would be better. Just maybe...

Once I got to my room I grabbed my pillow and cried myself to sleep. A guy I had revealed everything to being so cold to me. Could I really still have feelings for a person like him? Or was he just making an excuse for now? I wouldn't know till later. This year wasn't going to end quickly. This was going to be the longest year of my high school life.

The rest of my freshman year consisted of tennis practice, power lifting, UIL, music, and year book. Just constantly keeping myself busy trying to keep myself from getting attracted to him again. The days went by so slow and it was so aggravating! I was so happy when graduation came. I lost a few friends that I made during tennis but I still had a few others. Summer was hopefully going to be better.

*Quick author note* Hope you guys aren't mad that I haven't included a secret life. It will hopefully be out in the sophomore year. Thank you for your time!