A Failed Duty - Epilogue: 2nd Letter
#15 of A Failed Duty
The second letter given to Anubis by his mother at his and Jaller's reception.
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Disclaimer: The following will contain homosexual individuals and relationships and may be an interesting commentary on life, death, immortality, God, gods and various religions. No offense is intended, and if you cannot handle it, please discontinue reading rather than blaming me. This is copyrighted to me (mewjen(at)ymail.com), so no using it without my permission and no stealing it (any profits must be shared). This is a work of fiction. Any likenesses to persons, places, and so on, real or imagined, living or dead is purely coincidental.
Act II - Epilogue: 2nd Letter
MCXXXVIII00 (The day of Anubis' wedding)
Anubis,
I offer my congratulations to you and Jaller. I wish you a great deal of happiness for the rest of eternity.
There is so much I would like to say that I do not know how to say. I am grateful that you have allowed me to perform your ceremony, and I expect it to be a wonderful experience for you. I do wish you would allow me to attend your reception, but I understand and will obey your wishes.
If you have read the letters in the order I requested, then you know that I wrote the previous letter shortly before I gave you to Isis. I meant to give it to her along with the others, so that she could give it to you when you were ready, but I hesitated in giving her that one. I feared if you knew too early, the knowledge would rob you of childhood's freedom. I should have given it to you after the fall of Tem, but I ruined the only day we had together, and I did not desire to make it any worse. As time passed, I feared contacting you, because I knew you were starting to hate me. After that, I grew ashamed of what it represented. I succeeded in protecting you, but I failed as a father.
I am in no way the man I wanted to be when you were born. Apart from wanting to raise you with your mother, I wanted to give you a childhood where you knew you were loved and could have more than one friend. I wanted you to be able to grow up following your heart and dreams, even if they included Jaller.
Conversely, I regret few of my actions. They were necessary at the time.
Before I can continue, there is something I need to explain. I have told no one else this, not even your mother, and I could not tell you before without being accused of trying to interfere. I do not desire to affect your relationship with Jaller. I need you to know why I do not particularly care for Jaller and that it has nothing to do with you and little to do with him. I am asking for your understanding, nothing more.
Common history states that I gave up my power (and everyone else's) nine months before you were born to limit the damage that could be caused by future wars between the nations that would come. It was actually to end my battle with my father. You are the only child I have who is related to me through blood. I created your siblings, while you were conceived. You exist between what I am and everyone else. I exist fully outside of the planes of existence. You are partially outside. To my father you were his way of winning: either by killing you and potentially ending all life in the universe or by controlling me.
So when my father found out your mother and I were having a child, he came to his strategy. He would descend into this universe to be reborn as an infant, with all of his memories intact, making it impossible for me to identify him or interfere with his actions. After enough time, he would find his way to you and decide whether to kill you or take you as a hostage.
What he did not plan on was that I knew when he was descending. I could not stop his descension, but I could strip him of everything that made him dangerous. I took his memories and everything he intertwined with his soul. I made him an innocent child that was born nine months before you. I could not remove all of his power, so I strip myself and, with myself, him and everyone else of that primordial power.
The other issue my father did not plan for was that I can recognize his soul.
Jaller is the reincarnation of my father. I know now that I was successful and that Jaller is not my father, but when he first befriended you, I was not so certain. I pushed to have you separated, though that only seemed to drive you together. I was wrong to trick him into entering this plane, but I do not regret the outcome. I feel it would have been far crueler for you to have been in the same plane, yet never allowed to be together.
Upon your reunion with Jaller, I am deeply ashamed of my subsequent behavior. I let my arrogance and my distain for my father hurt you. I said things that I did not mean. I am truly sorry I could not recognize the love you have for Jaller and the love he has for you. I am sorry that I nearly ruined what you have. I am sorry I hurt your friends when it may not have been necessary.
I know I cannot forgive my father. The problem is that, as your father, I have repeated many of his mistakes. So how can I ask forgiveness of you? I do not want this to be the last time we meet. I do not want our relationship to be over when we can finally talk face-to-face.
Therefore, I must make some changes. I will do my best to treat Jaller on his own merits and not be influence by his past life. I will never again try to influence anyone beyond the use of words (the defense of self and others excluded). I will make no demands of you or your husband. I will beg if I must, my son. I will do anything to end this rift I forged between us.
I do not know where to go from here. Have we reached the impasse where you can never forgive me? Were my actions so horrid and unwarranted that you can never trust me? I still want to be a part of your life. Please, talk to me.
I love you,
Your father
Extension Note: To complete the Guide references, please imagine that before Ra's father enters the universe, there is a whiteboard in his laboratory somewhere that reads, "What do you get when you multiply six by nine?" And just before Ra wipes his mind, he starts to speak, "Sorry for the inconvenience..."
Author's Note: Yes, I wanted that in this story, but there was no way for it to be told reasonably. This is the finale. I have enjoyed writing this quite a bit, and I am proud of this story (and that I finished it). I would like to thank everyone who has rated, faved, watched, and commented on this series. It is quite appreciated.
I have spent the past few weeks trying to decide what I am going to do next. Recently, I have thought about a sequel focusing on Horus and Set and the aftermath of this series. I am torn between loving the fact that their story is left open, and knowing that there is more fun to be had in this universe and with these characters. I kind of have an idea, but it is still in-progress. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thank you for reading this series. I truly hope you have enjoyed yourselves.