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Kaeden's Commitment

by Draugr

Chapter XVIII: Just Tell Me Where To Begin

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This work is licensed under aCreative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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A massive grizzly bear opened the front door, towering over even Rashid's frame. Kaeden recoiled, gripping the Rottweiler's paw even harder. He involuntarily wet his diaper, and had to fight the urge to run. However, once the bear spoke, he couldn't help but relax - she commanded a motherly aura just as comforting as Ashleigh's.

"Aww, you must be Kaeden! Welcome to my home, I'm so glad to have you here! My name is Elizabeth. Go on in and make yourself at home with the other pups - you're the last to arrive."

"He's a little shy, Elizabeth, might be best if I walk in with him before I go."

"Oh, of course. Anything to make the little pup comfortable. Any special instructions from Ashleigh?"

"A few. Kaeden can't control his bladder anymore and has very little warning for number two. He's used to Ashleigh checking his diaper, though, so if you want him to ask he may have problems getting used to that."

The motherly bear waved her paw dismissively. "It's no problem adapting to his needs. I want to make this transition as comfortable as possible for him." She crouched down so that she could talk with Kaeden at eye level.

"You're a cute puppy, Kaeden," she said. "I'll be here for anything you need. Don't be afraid to ask. Me and Ashleigh are very good friends, and our style of raising adorable little puppies like you overlaps quite a bit. You should feel right at home."

Kaeden blushed, feeling more embarrassed than irritated at type of attention he was receiving.

"Anything else?" she said, turning back to Rashid.

"Here's his diaper bag," he said, offering the duffel bag to the bear. "He still gets a bottle of formula at bedtime. She said to give him a bottle in the morning, too, especially if he's messy. Helps calm him down, eases his nerves and all."

With that, Rashid walked with Elizabeth and led Kaeden into the playroom - which was nearly twice as big as Ashleigh's. This was a good thing, as the room was currently occupied by three other 'puppies' - a male wolf of about Kaeden's height, a female German Shepherd like him, although much taller, and a female husky pup. There was also a female hyena behind the rest, who Elizabeth explained was an intern learning how to be a caregiver. All were engaged in watching a television show. Kaeden didn't recognize it, although he found himself irritatingly curious about it.

"Here you are Kaeden. Be good for Elizabeth and I'll see you Sunday morning." With that, the Rottweiler left, and Kaeden was left standing there clutching his plushie, wondering what to do. Elizabeth gently took his paw and lead him over to the beanbag chairs - there were four of them in close proximity. She gently sat him down so he could see, then nodded to the other "puppies" - indicating he should play with them.

He whimpered as she left - confused at being thrust into such a strange situation - but nobody else seemed to pay him any mind. Before long, the show was over, and Elizabeth came back into the room.

"Now that we're all here, I think we should get acquainted. Each of you have met me, but let's get familiar with each other. We're going to tell each other our names, something special about ourselves, and why you're here today." Elizabeth then pointed at the husky, on the far end of the beanbag row from him.

"My name is Lisa, and I'm a really good dancer. I'm in this program because I used to be terrified of going outside."

"And are you still?"

The husky shook her head. "The scary feeling hasn't completely gone away, but, I can manage it."

"That's wonderful," the bear said warmly. I'm so happy for you. Now, what about you?" the bear said, looking over at the other German Shepherd in the room.

"My name is Lily," she said. Oddly, she did not seem as enthusiastic as Lisa had been. She looked down at the floor, ears pulled back a bit. "I'm good mathematician, and... I'm here because I'm a bully."

"It's okay to feel bad about our pasts, Lily, but you're moving past yours, right?"

Lily nodded, although it was clear she was a little bit embarrassed around the others. "I am. It's just still hard for me to remember how I used to treat other people."

"It may always be hard, Lily, but the important thing is that you've learned to treat people with respect. Now, what about you?" she said, looking over at the wolf.

The wolf spoke up, although his voice was very quiet, and he didn't make full eye contact - merely glancing up and down at Elizabeth. "My name is... Honiahaka," he said. "It's a Cheyenne word meaning... " he fell silent, taking a moment to regain his composure. "Little wolf," he said, with a grin. "Kind of ironic, isn't it?" Everyone else except Kaeden shared a laugh - he was still too nervous at his upcoming turn.

"You can call me Honi for short," he said. "I'm a full-blooded Cheyenne wolf," he added.

"That's what you were born, Honi," Elizabeth added. "But what makes_you_special?" Honi thought a moment, then spoke up again.

"My father says I'm a natural empath. I am very good at feeling other people's feelings and helping them. But... I have a hard time doing that because of why I'm here. I used to be terrified of men. I am still uneasy around them, but, I can manage my fear now."

"But, wait, you are a guy," Lily spoke up, confused.

Honi looked downward, ears flattened. "I know. Something... happened to me. I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm sorry," Lily added quickly.

"That's okay, Honi," Elizabeth interjected. "Let's move on to our final guest."

Kaeden froze for a moment before he was finally able to speak. "Uh... I'm Kaeden. I'm... there's... there's really not anything special about me."

"Kaeden, that's not the least bit true," Elizabeth said.

"But it is!" he insisted. "I'm here because I've never been able to commit to anything before. This program is the first. I've never stuck with anything long enough to become good at it."

"But you are special enough to be a part of this program, aren't you? Clearly somebody saw something in you."

Kaeden nodded. That was true. He had to think a minute, but at the moment, he was only missing Ashleigh, which made it difficult for his mind to wander. Finally, he had an answer.

"Okay... I have the best mommy in the world," he said, with a smile. This made Elizabeth let out a good-natured laugh.

"Okay, we'll let that one go, though I suspect our other guests might disagree with that. Now, before we go on to our next activity, does anybody need changed?"

Kaeden folded his ears back and nervously shuffled around in his beanbag seat - he'd wet a few times during the movie and while nervously waiting for his turn. Nobody else spoke up, but the dog's body language betrayed him.

"Aw, it's okay, Kaeden," she said, picking him up under the arms and holding him over her shoulder like a small child. "I recognize that face, even if you're too shy to ask." After instructing the others to wait and be good, she carried him down the hall and into a nursery - one much like his own back at Ashleigh's house.

"Ashleigh always checks me... I'm not used to asking," he explained, once they were alone.

"I don't mind if my pups ask me, but would you be more comfortable with me checking you? I can make some accommodations for you to make your stay here easier."

Kaeden nodded. It was still embarrassing to him to have his diaper checked, sure, but actually asking to be changed was something new for him, and required him to give active voice to the fact that he'd soiled himself like a baby. Taking on the passive role in the encounter was simply easier.

He whined as she unbuttoned his shorts and pulled them down, moving his paws to cover up his soggy diaper.

"Aw, it's okay, pup. Nothing I haven't seen before. I'm a caregiver just like Ashleigh. I won't hurt you."

"I-I know, it's just... "

"Hush, puppy," she said, gently moving his paws aside. From atop Kaeden's diaper bag she picked up Ikici, placing him against the Shepherd's chest. Kaeden latched on, whimpered, and looked away, pretending to be anywhere else. This proved a good enough 'trick' to allow Elizabeth to do her job - she untaped his diaper, balled it up, and tossed it in a diaper pail to the side of the changing table. She get out a new diaper for him. As she unfolded it and placed it beneath him, bringing the front between his legs, Kaeden glanced down and couldn't help but notice it was a bit different than the kind Ashleigh made him wear. This one had a letter blocks decorating the taping panel, arranged to spell 'PUPPY' in several spots. A wetness indicator consisting of stylized bones ran down the center. It was just as infantile as the kind he usually wore, just in a different manner. Once his shorts were back on, she brought him back out to the others, and announced that they would be playing a game.

"Truth or dare, but not of the sort you're used to. Since all of you are here for various sorts of trust issues," she said, "this will help you learn to trust each other not to hurt you. The goal of the game is to help your new friends talk about themselves. No mean questions or dares - only fun things. Questions I think are too mean or dares I think are not in good spirit will either be turned back on the one who asks them, or dismissed and the asker will be punished. Now, let's sit in a circle."

"Miss Elizabeth, will you be playing?" Lisa the husky asked, her head cocked to the side.

"You know what, I suppose I can," she said, joining the forming circle. Kaeden looked around for Elizabeth's intern, but didn't see her. He suspected she was in an office somewhere doing homework, or whatever kind of stuff the caregiver program required. He made a mental note to ask Alex about it when he next saw him.

"Kaeden, why don't you go first," she said, jolting him out of his thoughts.

Having never played this game, he wasn't quite sure how it worked. "I'm... I'm not quite sure how to play," he said, sheepishly, once he'd recollected himself.

"That's alright," the bear said. "You just pick someone and ask them 'truth or dare'." When they give you an answer, you either ask them a question, or you dare them to do something."

Kaeden nodded. "Honi, truth or dare?" he asked the wolf.

"Truth."

"Did you grow up on a reservation? What's it like?" he said, genuinely curious about the native wolf's past.

Honi nodded. "It's a lot different than what I've experienced here. There's not as much wealth, and we do a lot of communal sharing to get by. But it's really cool growing up around people you have a strong cultural connection with. The way the Cheyenne wolves keep our identity alive in a modern world is interesting. Of course, growing up in it, I didn't notice it as anything unusual, but as I got out into the rest of the world... well, your people don't have the sorts of tribal customs and traditions. Your culture is borrowed from many others. I don't mean that as a bad thing, it's just different."

Kaeden nodded.

"Very good, Honi, Kaeden. Now, since you were asked, Honi, it's your turn."

"Hmm... Elizabeth, truth or dare," he said, looking toward the caregiver.

"Truth," she said.

"Why do you do this? Take care of, uh... bigger puppies?"

Elizabeth nodded. "I went through this program myself when I was younger. When I graduated, I wanted nothing more than to give other cubs the same chance I had at a new life."

"Wait, why did you_have_to do this?" Honi asked.

"Ah-ah," she said, wagging her finger. "That's another question, for another person. Now... Lisa, Truth or Dare?"

The husky paused a moment, then finally said, enthusiastically, "Dare!"

"Very good... Lisa, I dare you to come outside with me to bring in the mail." Lisa's eyes grew wide, since this was directly related to her mostly former fear of being outside. "I... I can do it!" she said, determined, then took her caretaker's hand.

"Tayla, can you come out and watch the puppies for a minute?" Elizabeth called down the hallway. Kaeden heard a door open and close, and the hyena intern came out, taking Elizabeth's seat.

"All of you stay right here and be good," the motherly bear said. "We'll be back momentarily." Tayla engaged in some small talk with the puppies, keeping their minds occupied and out of trouble while Elizabeth took Lisa on her dare.

True to her word, the two returned indoors a couple minutes later, the husky triumphantly holding a few letters, a large grin on her face. Congratulations were in order from everyone around, and even Kaeden joined in, infused by the positive mood. Once everyone was settled down, and Tayla had gone back down the hall, the game resumed.

"Okay," Lisa said, taking a deep breath. "Lily, you said you are a mathematician. What do you want to do when you grow up?"

Lily smiled wryly. All of them were already grown up, of course. The phrase had a double meaning, here. "I'm actually really interested in outer space. Once I get out, I want to enroll in an astronomy program in a local college. You can use a computer to do it, of course, but if you do it by hand, there is a lot of really fun math involved in figuring out the location of another planet so you can see it through a telescope."

Kaeden was impressed. Lily was clearly a very smart dog. He then realized it was her turn to ask a question - and he was the only pup in the room who hadn't been asked a question. He was a bit nervous given Lily's history of bullying, and what he might be asked.

"Okay, Kaeden," she said, grinning. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Kaeden answered, not wanting to reveal much about himself.

"I dare you to come over here and give me a hug." She glanced over at Elizabeth to make sure this request was okay, and the bear nodded approvingly.

Kaeden gulped, starting and stopping a few times. Was there some sort of ulterior motive in this? Was this just some way to bully him? He'd notice her snickering when he was the only one who needed his diaper changed earlier. It hadn't seemed_that_mean-spirited then, but, still. He clutched his stuffed wolf tightly, buried his nose in the synthetic fur, and breathed in deeply. Ikici mostly smelled of him, of course, but there were also hints of Ashleigh, and that was the scent he needed.

Nerves bolstered by the reminder of his caregiver, he finally he managed to get up. Legs shaking, he walked over to Lily, closing his eyes, and gave her a hug. She embraced him back.

"Good puppy," she whispered in his ear. "I knew you could do it," she added.

Kaeden released her, a bit surprised, then walked back to his place in the circle, although he had to pick up Ikici and hold him tightly for comfort, not sure what to make of the encounter. He had a strange, warm feeling, and it was winding him all up.

The game went on until dinner time. Kaeden was slow to trust the others, and a continued reluctant participant, but out of peer pressure he continued to play. He was, however, relieved when it was dinner time. Dinner passed without incident, although he was pleased to see that he got some solid food, even if it was cut up into small pieces.

The girls had their bedtime first, being led off to their own nursery while the boys patiently waited in theirs. Elizabeth came over in just a few minutes. Honi had his diaper changed first, followed by Kaeden, and soon both were laid down in their crib to sleep, Ikici in Kaeden's arms, and Honi's stuffed dragon in his.

"Don't stay up too late talking, now," Elizabeth warned, placing both dog's pacifiers in their mouths. Of course, ideally, she didn't want her puppies doing anything other than sleeping, but she was realistic, and understood these two would certainly be curious about each other, just like the girls - whom she could already hear talking in the other room.

After lights out, pacifiers came out, and Honi was the first to speak up. "Lily really likes you, Kaeden."

"What? Are you sure? She laughed at me, when... " Honi shook his head, then dug in further to his covers, snuggling up against Kaeden. The Shepherd had to keep himself from recoiling. Him and Alex had cuddled in bed, of course, but that was more out of necessity - the Dane was huge and there had been no way to preserve personal space. He found the close contact comforting after a moment, though, and wrapped his arm around the wolf. Honi shuddered, but did not push him away.

"I am sure, Kaeden. I notice these things. Remember your dare? She spoke something to you as well. What was it?"

"She told me she knew I could do it."

"Words of encouragement. She_likes_you, Kaeden."

Kaeden blushed, although he said nothing. There was that funny feeling again, winding him up inside. "M-maybe we should get some sleep. I'm sure tomorrow will be a big day."

Honi nodded, placing his pacifier back in his mouth, and was quickly asleep. Kaeden did the same, although sleep was elusive for him for quite some time. He missed Ashleigh.

The next day Kaeden awoke with an uncomfortable pressure in his tummy. Realizing what it meant, he tried to call out for Elizabeth. He heard her call over from another room, presumably the girl's nursery. Honi woke up at this, blinking his eyes.

"Kaeden, what's wrong?"

The Shepherd just whined.

"Elizabeth!" Honi shouted, worried.

"C'mon, man, tell me what it is!" the wolf said.

"Gotta go," Kaeden answered in a whisper.

"Oh... well, just... y'know."

"I ca-" Kaeden tried to protest, before losing control, and nature took its course.

Kaeden couldn't help but cry at this. He'd been getting along so well with Honi, and now, surely the wolf wouldn't want to be his friend now. Startlingly enough, though, the wolf scooted himself across the mattress to hug him from behind, stroking his arm to calm him down.

"It's okay. I don't mind. I know it's hard to have that kind of an accident in front of others, but I'm in the same boat you are, remember?"

Just then Elizabeth came into the room. "Uh oh," she said, seeing the scene in front of her, and dropping the side of the crib. "Kaeden had an accident?" she asked Honi, the Shepherd too distraught to answer.

He nodded. Kaeden was lifted up out of the crib, but rather than going straight to the changing table, she brought him over to a chair, producing a bottle of formula for him.

"Rashid said this would help calm your nerves. How about we take care of that first, okay?" she asked.

Kaeden was still sniffling too much at this to respond, but he accepted the nipple of the bottle nonetheless. He wanted out of his messy diaper, but, it was easier to just go with the flow. The bottle_did_help calm him down, though, and by the time that and his diaper change were finished, he was in much better spirits.

During the morning the four charges watched a few episodes of a TV show - made for puppies, of course. It was about five young friends who got into all sorts of troubles, and learned things along the way. After each episode Elizabeth stopped them momentarily, to discuss what they had learned from the episodes. Most had to do with trust in some form or another, though she seemed to have selected specific episodes dealing with each charge's particular issues.

Lunch was uneventful as the previous day's dinner, but then they got to go play outside. Elizabeth had a large back yard with a privacy fence. It occurred to Kaeden he did not even know if Ashleigh had a back yard, as he had been kept indoors the entire time.

While initially a bit nervous to go outside in his current attire, he managed to survive for a short time. He forced himself to join in with the others when they were building sand castles in the sandbox, though when they all decided to play a game of tag, he declined to participate. They attempted to get him to play several times, particularly Lily, but he just stayed in the corner of the yard by himself.

After a little more than an hour of him playing alone, Elizabeth came out to join him.

"What's wrong, little one?" she said, stroking the top of his head.

"Nothing. I just want to be alone," he said.

"Are you still nervous around the others?"

Kaeden shook his head. "I guess I'm just worried they'll make fun of me. They're all dressed like I am, but... none of them have... uh... the same kinds of control issues I have. I'm like an actual baby," he said dejectedly.

"Oh, puppy, it's fine. I think they understand. I won't make you go join them if you aren't comfortable, but I think it would be good for you, wouldn't it?"

Kaeden shrugged, adding sand to a corner of his castle. "I don't know. Maybe," he said. "Maybe I'm just meant to be a loner. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing is wrong with that, dear. But the point of your rehabilitation is to learn to trust others, and not be concerned that they're going to betray you. How can you learn to do that if you don't spend time with other people?"

"Yeah, I guess... "

"Well, think about what I've said, okay? Dinner is in two hours, and it would make me happy to see you play with the others during that time."

"Okay."

Kaeden tried to bring himself to join in, but the other three looked like they were having plenty of fun on their own, and it just felt too awkward to thrust himself in the midst. Finally, about fifteen minutes before dinnertime, he did manage to join in for a last round of hide and seek.

After making sure her charges all wiped their feet and washed their paws, they sat down for dinner. Between dinner and bedtime they enjoyed a fun movie - still childish, but it wasn't designed to impart a lesson, simply to entertain. Kaeden was able to get into this one much more than the others, and he was happy to see they didn't have a 'discuss what we learned' session afterward. Talking about his feelings in front of the others was still a difficult situation for him.

Bedtime came soon enough, and after everyone was changed for bed, Honi was again the first to speak up.

"We missed you during our playtime today, Kaeden. Why'd you stay all alone?"

"I don't know. I just... it was easier to stay alone."

Honi nodded. "It is, but, sometimes you have to push yourself, you know?"

"Ashleigh has been the one doing that for me... I guess I didn't realize how hard it was to give myself that little push. She mentioned something about this being a test... do you think I failed?"

Honi thought a moment, but then figured it was best to be honest with his crib buddy. "It's possible. They want to see how you interact with other puppies in the program, and you didn't do a lot of interacting."

"They... they won't kick me out, will they?"

"Goodness, no. You signed the contract, right?"

Kaeden nodded.

"Then they'll stick with you until you're better. You made that commitment, they'll make sure you get better, too. And if they don't, from everything you've told me about Ashleigh, she'll stick with you until you're better. She already stood up for you once, right?"

Kaeden nodded again. "Thanks, Honi," he said.

Sleep came quickly, that night, and the next morning all that much sooner. Tayla helped out with morning diaper changes, though Kaeden fussed a little too much for her to handle, and Elizabeth had to help change him. Once all four puppies were clean, dry, and redressed, each charge's belongings were packed away again. They said their goodbyes, each puppy wishing the other the best of luck. Kaeden had some trouble dislodging himself from Lily's hug - he was thinking that perhaps Honi's evaluation was right.

Each charge had their own henchman to pick them up. Rashid was the last to arrive, Honi having departed five minutes earlier. Kaeden was overjoyed to see Rashid, throwing himself into a hug.

"Sorry I'm late, pup," Rashid said. "We've got the longest drive to get over here." He then looked over at the bear. "How did he do?" he asked.

"He had some trouble adapting here," Elizabeth said in that motherly tone of hers. "I think he really missed Ashleigh... and you, from the looks of it."

"Oh," Rashid said. "Should we expect another sleepover to be planned for him?"

"I submitted my report last night, but, yes, I think Kaeden could benefit from another sleepover experience. He made some progress, but I think this was a bit early for him to try."

Rashid nodded, then got Kaeden buckled into his carseat. The ride home was silent, until they pulled back in Ashleigh's drive.

"You upset, Kaeden?"

"A little. I didn't do very well, did I?"

Rashid shook his head. "It's not about doing good or doing bad, Kaeden. The sleepover is just a way to check your progress. You weren't as far along as your handler thought, but there's nothing wrong with that. Don't worry about passing or failing things. You're still improving, and this was still a good learning experience for you. Now, let's go inside and see Ashleigh. I'm sure she's missed you as well."

Rashid unbuckled Kaeden from his car seat, helping him out of the SUV, but without waiting for the Rottweiler, he ran to the front door. He rang the doorbell - and Ashleigh answered.

"Mommy!" he exclaimed, throwing himself into her waiting arms. "I missed you so much," he said into her shoulder.

"I missed you too, pup. I hear you made some progress?"

Kaeden nodded.

"Yeah... but they said I need to do another sleepover sometime."

"That's nothing to be ashamed of, Kaeden," Ashleigh said, petting his back. "Everyone advances at their own pace. Now... would you like to meet your new sister?" she asked.