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I remembered that Zac and some of the teachers were standing in front of the school, waited with me for the car from Young Psychiatric Section to arrive and pick me up. I had cried so much in the last half hour that I went out of tears which had turned my eyes bloody red and my cheeks were stiff of the dried and shed tears. I've never cried that much before and for some odd and weird reason it helped a lot; it relieved my buried feelings and emotions, it let them flow out freely. Crying was something I hadn't done in years. I remembered when I first time cried of loneliness and sadness; it was when I was nothing more than 10 years old and I was on my 3rd school. Many of the few happy memories I had was from the 2nd school and it was also there that I had several good friends, a time where I still believed in friendship before it got crushed by my parents.

As I waited in the comforting weather with Zac supporting me by rubbing his both hands on my shoulders I deeply wished to reveal my feelings for him, a desire that I had hard time to deny. For the first time in many years I had my heart win over the cold blooded brain for just an hour ago.

It was autumn and the leaves were dancing in the wind but it was still warm and soft like the summer. Even though there was a long, long way before I would recover from this suffering the ice cage was melting for the first time in my life. The ice spikes still stung a bit and my heart was still beating a bit heavily because of that but all these wounds were slowly but steadily getting healed from now on.

"Why, Zac?" I whispered lowly, still looked down upon the stone trail.

"What, Justin?" he replied softly, didn't quite get what I said. I felt he was looking at me for the heat from him got warmer.

"Why would you... of all people... help me?" I didn't dare to look at him and I tried to shed tears but nothing came.

"If I have to be honest, Justin, I'm not sure but no matter how you look at it this is a huge problem we've to solve..." as he paused he squeezed softly with his hands on my shoulders and continued "Right, Justin?"

I didn't understood what he meant all of it but I didn't want to ask or talk further either so I just replied with few, silent nods. I wanted to be hugged by him and feel his presence against mine.

A sound of a car was approaching and I recognized the sound and the car: It was my parents'. Apparently they did get a bit worried about their only son but I didn't expect that they would come and see me when I was so vulnerable. I didn't want them to be here, not in front of Zac especially. As they got out of the car I turned away from them and by judging the sounds of their steps they were walking faster than usual... but they didn't run as I imagined any other parents would do when they find out that their child was in deep problems. I highly envied my classmates to have parents that cared a lot more for them than mine did for me, that they spend time with their children and would have time to listen what their children would have to say in good and bad times.

"Justin, are you alright?" asked my mother but didn't sound worried. They seemed to stop right in front of me and didn't get closer like the other parents would do.

My father took steps toward the Headmaster and asked the following which made my heart burn in cold flames:

"When will he get picked by the psychiatrics?"

I wanted to scream right into their faces, yelling how insignificant they had turned themselves to me. An unheard hatred had been born inside me, inside my deepest heart, long time ago towards my parents for their lack of love for their 'heir' as they would call it. Instead of doing my desire of yelling at them I frankly said:

"I'll do best without you, Charles... Janna" I didn't want to call them what everyone would call their parents. They weren't worthy for it, never had been. They didn't seem surprised and instead of asking further with me they began to talk to the teachers and especially the Headmaster to hear what would become of me. My hatred grew and it was so huge that I was afraid that it would burn me up in flames in front of everyone.

I felt that Zac's hands were trembling, perhaps his whole body but I was too weakened to notice more even if I wanted to. I could easily imagine what went through his head and I wouldn't be surprised if others had it the same way... but I didn't care for my parents anymore. My hopes for them turning into important persons for me had been long extinguished by themselves, a glimmer of hope that died years ago along with my hopes of keeping friends. My heart couldn't take anymore of false hopes that they would give to their starving child, a child that hungered for some sort of love or slightest comfort and support. All I wanted was to get away from here, to feel better, to experience more happiness that I already deeply lacked.

What I feared most was that I was going to place where I wouldn't be able to see Zac and my heart was itching to ask if he could come with me instead of my parents. But I didn't; I didn't have the strength. I wasn't afraid of the death; I would rather welcome it if it suddenly came to take me from this world. Not that I would commit suicide but I've been so lost in the woods of despair and grief that I didn't care to live anymore. As I said earlier: The only thing that kept me alive was Zac, the only person I cared most about in my whole, entire, depressive life.

"It'll be alright, Justin... I promise" I heard Zac whisper right next to me. These words were like sunrays of the warmest sun; comforting, soft and heated. But how would it be alright? How can my life be any good anymore? Will I ever experience what I wanted? I shed invisible tears, tears of my heart, my soul and being.

Another car approached and before I could notice more Zac gave sign that I should go with him to the psychologist who also was walking towards us. The psychologist gave a handshake to the Headmaster and the teachers; finally she took her hand forth so I could see it, even with my head deeply lowered.

"Hey there... my name is Angelina"

For the first time in the last hour I raised my head slightly and saw a well-dressed collie with the classical color of the specie; white dark and brown. Then I looked down at the hand, didn't say anything but answered with a really weakened handshake.

"I'll be escorting you to the Section of Troubled Youth and... I'm sure we'll find a solution to this serious problem of yours... Mr. Justin. If you would follow me" when she saw that I didn't move she stopped and waited.

"Come on, Justin" said Zac and gently tried to make me go forward which I resisted. I knew they could help me if they did it right but I was afraid of not being able to see him in a time that I didn't know how long it would be. The days would be worthless and meaningless for me if I were to go to a place where seeing him was not an option. The windmill would be without wind and would rotten down to pieces. Maybe he knew or not but he said:

"I'll come with you" tugged at me gently.

"You will?" was the two words that came out along with my surprise. Of course I hoped that he would and for some weird reason I knew he wasn't joking, like a misplaced sense of situation. My heart felt light for the first time on so many years, maybe not lighter than a bowl of cold water but still lighter than ever. Without saying anything we went to the car together where he was the light and sun; guiding me and melted the iced path I would walk. The teachers and the Headmaster cheered me and said "Goodbye and get well" when I was about to go into the car, something I haven't felt in very long time. But my parents didn't say anything; they just watched like it was some sort of nuisance to them, disappoint maybe.

My heart was so vulnerable, so weak because of the silent depression I had been experiencing in years. All these years I've locked myself in my own handmade, ice cage where I threw the keys out of the window hoping that someone would pick them up and lock me out, even if I didn't want to be locked out. The ice cage had been my safe place, provided safety but in return froze me and gave the feelings like loneliness, sadness, despair, grief and sorrow, promised me to keep me from greater damages. But now I gave the prize, my own well-being and my own safety of mind. I was on the brink of truly give up but held up narrowly by him, my crush, who sat on the other site of the car, looking out of the window, occasionally looked at me to see if I cried. Why would he go with someone so depressed like me, a male? He surely sacrificed a lot of his popularity just to help a failure like me.

We drove past the city where I had been fetched and went to the highway to the bigger city where the Psychiatry for Ill People resided. The driver, the psychologist Angelina, asked few questions on the way about my past and my state of mind. I barely answered them.

I got hospitalized immediately when I arrived where I was given a pleasant room for me to be. And as I was about to go into the room Zac said:

"Wait, Justin..." he patted me on the shoulder, wanted me to face him "I don't know why I did this but you're some sort of... an important person to me... don't ask me why"

I looked intensely at him, hungered to hear more and wished to say what I wanted but waited for him to be finished:

"I'll try and give updates... about what's happening in the school, okay Justin?"

I nodded slowly and was about to turn around when he did the following:

"Wait," he hugged me tightly "promise me that you'll recover"

I was astonished by the sudden action, felt my heart jump to my neck and my fur got Goosebumps. He hugged me out of nowhere? Even though I didn't fully understand I still said "I'll try, Zac" and attempted to hug as passionate as he did but failed because of my statement. He understood it and loosened his hug, said:

"I'll try and visit now and then, Justin, okay?"

For the first time on my life I felt tears of truly happiness and as I shed the tears in front of him I hugged again, whispered:

"Please, do so, Zac"

"I will"