FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

Author's Notes: It has been a long time since I posted anything. I blame college English classes for destroying my will to ever write for fun again. (And the engineering classes for too much homework.) This story started out as a project for my first English class six years ago. Two years later, I came back to this story as a form of relaxation, since then I have been slowly (sluggishly) working on this during my limited non-videogame free-time. It started as a two-part story (what are now Parts 1 & 4 of Act I) with the goal of being a three-part story and has ended as a two-act story with twelve parts that will be released as fifteen chapters.

I am about 90% done, with just final passes and a part needing to be finished left. So my goal is to release this on a weekly schedule.

This story may not be the greatest or the longest compared to a lot of authors out there, but I have enjoyed writing this (enough that I could not stop and created Act 2) and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Disclaimer: The following will contain homosexual individuals and relationships and may be an interesting commentary on life, death, immortality, God, gods and various religions. No offense is intended and if you cannot handle it, please discontinue reading rather than blaming me. This is copyrighted to me (mewjen(at)ymail.com), so no using it without my permission and no stealing it (any profits must be shared). This is a work of fiction. Any likenesses to persons, places, and so on, real or imagined, living or dead is purely coincidental.

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A Failed Duty

An Anubis Tale

Act I

Preamble

_ _

It began long ago. Before time was called time. Before the Mayans. Before the Egyptians. Before the Indus River Valley. Before life was cradled in its womb. Before the gods ascended into the heavens. When they lived as mortals on this planet. This planet before it was covered in the fruits of the Industrial Age. Before it was even called Terra. A land shrouded in an exotic kind of living-force, never seen to future generations. A land left barren, unused by those who walked upon it. Except for a single city that lie deep within the Nun. That is where it began. In the city of Tem.

_ _

...Though our story starts sometime after that in the second era of Tem.

Prologue

I stare at him every day, as he leans against the city wall. His black fur is a beautiful contrast to the sands around him. The setting sun accents the lean shape of the muscles under his pelt and makes the gold fur around his eyes and of his inner ear shine a deep ruby red. I trace his long muzzle with my eyes, as he watches the sunset, his lips warped around the bone to form a simple smile, showing a crescent of his lustrous white teeth. I watch his thin tail sway with the breeze, as he lets out a heavy sigh. He turns to me, baring his bare chest to me, as he begins to talk. His voice can only be described as angelic. It stirs an ardor deep within me with every sound. A passion that calls for him...that keeps me by his side. A passion that can only be....

Part 1

THE voice seemed so far off to me. It was not until his hand shook my shoulder that his words finally reached my brain. "Jaller? Jaller?"

"Yeah," I replied, still fading in and out of my daze.

"You seemed to have zoned out there for a bit," he said. The concern in his voice brought a flush to my cheeks.

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

He started to speak once more, but I was only half-listening to him again.

HIS name is Anubis, black-furred jackal, gold irises, gold fur around each eye, gold inner-ears, nine months younger than me, I generally call him An. We have been friends for fifteen years, ever since we were both very young and I quite literally ran into him.

It was nearing sunset on that fateful day, and I was late to meet with the Grand Elder. It was not a major meeting, just a group fire-story, but all my friends were attending. I was running through the outskirts, not paying attention to what was in front of me, too caught up with being late, and there he was, leaning against the city wall watching the setting sun, where we stand now. Next thing I knew, we were both on the ground.

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"What from the Netherworld hit me?" he said, as I rolled off him.

"Sorry," I said, getting up. I offered my hand to him, but he pushed it away.

"I do not need your help," he snapped. He stood up and returned to his leaning position, as though he had never moved.

"I don't remember seeing you around here. What's your name?" He did not even look at me, an unspoken challenge that I was not going to refuse. I moved in front of him. Still he did not move. "My name is Jaller.... I assume you can hear. With ears like that...." Still nothing. I leaned against the wall, facing him, mirroring his posture as closely as my body would allow. "So where're you from?" Nothing. "Who're your parents?"

"Do you not have somewhere you are supposed to be?" Finally, he spoke. "You were in quite the hurry," he said, drily.

"I am. I'm just curious," I replied with sweet innocence.

"About what," he stated, not as a question, but as a statement of annoyance.

"Aren't you going to the fire-story?" I asked curiously.

"I was not invited," he said uncaringly.

"You don't need an invitation," I responded, confused. "You just go."

"I'm fine not going. I need to stay here and finish this."

"Finish what?" I questioned with great confusion.

"Watching the sun," he answered, as though it was a perfectly logical response.

I glanced over my shoulder to see a bright sliver against the darkening sky. "Why?"

"It's what I do. Now, please, go and annoy someone else."

I paused in thought a bit before replying, "Don't you have friends?"

"That's none of your business," he replied quickly, as I struck a nerve.

I remained silent, staring at him imploringly.

"No...and I am fine...." His mouth opened and closed a few times, but nothing else was said.

"Well, you have a friend now. Do you want to go to the fire-story with me?"

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It took a little bit of time, but I managed to drag him there. It was not until we were walking home that he told me his name. After that, I started to spend the sunsets with him. He never told me why, even now I do not know. It's his secret and I accept that. It took him a year to tell me about his family. His true parents abandoned him to an elderly woman. She has been good to him, but he has always thought deep down that he is worthless and unloved. I have tried to convince him that he is wrong, but I have never gotten to that core created by parents, who did not want him or think him worthy.

Over the years, we have grown intimate with each other, enough that we almost know what the other is thinking. We have created a bond that surpasses friendship in my eyes, though I do not know if he shares that feeling. Every time I try to tell him, I....

"JALLER?" his voice rang through again.

"Yeah?"

"You're doing it again."

"Sorry."

"You keep zoning out. Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No." I was lying. He knew it, but I knew he wouldn't push me.

He stared at me for a long while, his golden irises seeming to penetrate into my soul. "Okay, let's go." He walked off, leaving the set sun and evening sky behind.

I ran to catch up to him. "Where are we going?"

"To talk to the Grand Elder," he said, sounding a little annoy, as he ran ahead of me.

"What!" I shouted with surprise. "Why?"

"I've told you twice already," he shouted back, as he ran several feet ahead of me.

"An, slow down," I huffed, as I jogged behind him, forcing myself to catch up.

He stopped in front of the gate to the inner city, where the main population lived and worked. He has never been one to like crowds, let alone being around a single person, but the Grand Elder lived along the eastern wall of the second ring. After he crossed the threshold, he quickly turned right and entered a small alley that wound its way around the entire city, also known as "the long way." He walked slowly enough that I could catch up, but still faster than I preferred.

"It would take a year, if we went at your pace." He smirked knowingly.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Do you want that bit off?" he teased.

I retracted my tongue quickly. "So could you explain this, again? You know third time's the charm."

"Only if you walk in front of me," he said, without even trying to feign innocence.

"Why?" I asked, unsure if I wanted the answer.

"So I can hit you, if I have to do this again, rump for brains," he said calmly. Whether or not he would do it, would depend on his mood more than anything.

"Fine, control freak." I walked ahead of him and turned around. I knew it would be safe to walk backwards, because this alleyway suffered from a severe lack of use, and I know he would grab me before I got into too much danger. Though he didn't mind when I fell after three steps. He just stopped and waited for me to get up, snickering. "Jackass."

"I know."

It took him a long time to start. His eyes told me of his struggle to find the right words. The struggle told me that, even though I should have been listening to him, I didn't miss that much by not.

"Jaller," he said quietly, unsure of himself, "you know how all your other friends have been assigned their tasks?"

"They tried to be friends with you too," I replied, "but yeah."

"They were given their tasks and began their apprenticeships when they graduated." He stopped.

"Yeah?" I said, trying to drive him forward, as I searched his face.

"That was over a year ago for both of us, and still we have nothing," he said, staring up at the first stars of the night.

My eyes darted away from his, as he spoke. The statement wasn't as true as he thought.

In our culture, you spend the first part of your education in general study, figuring out your skills and dreaming of your future. Upon leaving that institution, you immediately begin mentoring under an expert of your field. Your field, your life's task is selected for you by the Grand Elder and the High Council. I graduated with all of my class in a public spectacle. All except An. He wasn't allowed to attend as a graduate. He told me later that they excluded him, because they had no task for him. I struggled to hide my joy, knowing that neither of us would have to leave for a while. He didn't share similar feelings, since to him being task-less meant he was useless to our society.

"You're going to ask, aren't you?" I spoke in hushed tones, not wanting to suggest something that could lead to our parting.

"Is my only role in life to stare at the sun?" he said, seeming to plead to the universe.

"I don't know. You could find it yourself," I suggested.

"I don't know," he replied, somberly. "I don't want to be alone forever."

He wasn't looking, and therefore not able to see my expression.

"You're not." I placed my hand firmly on his shoulder.

"You're not going to be there forever." He brushed off my hand and started forward. "You have a life of your own to live."

I couldn't respond. I didn't know how.

We walked in silence the rest of the way, side by side, neither of us looking at the other, just watching the path. One hoping for answers, and the other fearing for them.

WHEN we arrived, we were told to wait in the main chamber, a large dome-shaped room with a fire pit in the center and walls adorned with the many spells that kept the city functioning. I paced nervously, while An leaned against the wall, staring at the fire pit, trying to ignore my constant motion.

"Will you stand still?" he finally snapped in annoyance, his penetrating gaze now upon me.

"Sorry," I said in my hurry to acquiesce, though that just led to fidgeting, which led to him narrowing his eyes. "It's just the last time I was here, I sort of pissed the Grand Elder off."

"And here I had forgotten all about that, Jaller," said a voice from behind me.

I jumped, and spinning around, I fell to the floor like a fool. I quickly rose to my feet, as the Grand Elder herself walked into the chamber, garbed in her ancient shroud. I glanced at An and found him calmly standing next to me, which only furthered my embarrassment.

"Grand Elder, I--I--I," I started to stammer out, but she waved her hand at me, and I stopped speaking at once.

"Jaller, it is too late," she said soothingly. "The act is done. Let us move on. Why are you here?" I backed away. She turned to An. "What are you seeking, Anubis?"

An sighed deeply. "A life.... It's been a year since you told me to wait. Please, tell me something new."

"I do not decide. I just interpret, and I have nothing more to tell," replied the Grand Elder, gently.

"Please, try again. I need to know," An begged.

"You are impatient to know," she said sternly. "Life is not given. It is found."

"Everyone is given their task," he stated stubbornly.

"No, most are given. Some are earned." She paused in thought. "I will try again for you, but destiny does not always fall where we want it to, and knowing ones future can make it impossible to change." She turned away from us and threw a handful of dust into the fire.

Suddenly, the fire grew huge and roared to life in its pit, and in the blink of an eye, it was gone, leaving the imprint of a star-like object on a fiery backdrop.

"What was that?" I asked when the image faded.

"What did you see, Anubis?" the Grand Elder asked.

"Sorrow, loss, pain," he said, looking at his feet. Then his head shot up to look straight into the Grand Elder's eyes. "That wasn't.... That was a vision. That has nothing to do with my life-task. What's the point? That's not what I wanted nor what I asked for."

The Grand Elder looked worried. I have never seen her that way. It scared me. "You may not have desired it, but a vision is what you received, and a most troubling one it is. Unfortunately, there is no way to know what type. It could have been a warning or an image from the future or maybe just an interfering breeze. It might not even be directed at you." She turned to me. "Jaller, what did you see?"

"A star," I said, lamely. She turned back to An. "What did you see, Grand Elder?"

"A phoenix," she said mysteriously.

"Damn it," An shouted, as he knelt and punched the ground. "This isn't helping. Visions are useless."

"Jaller," the Grand Elder said, staring at An, "could you please step out for a bit, so that Anubis and I can talk."

"Of course." I bowed, looking at An with great concern, and left the room.

A half-hour later, the Grand Elder called me back into the chamber. When I reentered, I found An leaning against the wall looking even more agitated than before I left.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked him, timidly, afraid that he might snap at me or do worse in his current state.

"Not yet. It's your turn," he said, clearly fighting to control his displeasure.

"What do you mean?" both the Grand Elder and I asked.

"To try and find out if you have a life-task," he responded in exasperation.

"But he has already been given one?" said the Grand Elder, assuming I finally told him the truth.

I tried to stop her, but it was too late, the damage was done. I looked in terror at An.

He looked shocked, confused, angry, mournful, and worst of all, betrayed. Tears slowly began to stream from his eyes. He walked up to me and punched me hard in the gut. Then he ran.

"Jaller, we need to talk--," began the Grand Elder, but I didn't care, as I tore after An.

I could smell the freshly cooked evening meals within the homes I passed, as I ran through the center of the city. I knew I could never catch up to An running at his top speed, but I knew where he was going. He was going back to where we had been mere hours before, watching the sunset, he always did. But he would take the long way, while I took the short way.

He beat me nonetheless, as I found him leaning into the wall, sobbing into one arm, while the other clawed at the wall's surface. I walked towards him slowly. When I tried to comfort him by touching his shoulder, he turned on me, swatting my hand away.

"LIAR!" he shouted. His eyes were puffy and his muzzle fur was matted, but his tears had ended. "I'm not alone! You son of a bitch! What were you going to do? Just leave one day. Not even say goodbye."

"An, I would nev--"

"Just shut up! Just shut up and leave me alone. I never want--"

"No! An, listen to--"

"I don't care. Ja--"

"ANUBIS! Listen to me, please."

He opened his mouth to yell some more, but I grabbed his muzzle and forced his jaw shut, before he could utter a sound. He whimpered, as his arms flailed around me, punching me, as he tried to free himself. I made no effort to stop him. I didn't want to hurt him any more than I already had. I brought his lips to mine and kissed him. He stopped moving, as I let go of his maw. I opened my mouth slightly and brought my tongue to the entrance of his oral cavity. After a minute of coaxing, his lips parted, our tongues entwined, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Now, will you listen," I said rather winded, when we broke apart for lack of air. I waited, and when he said nothing, I continued. "Yes, I lied to you, but not out of malice. An, I was never going to leave you. She told me my so-called life-task at the ceremony. I told her no. I told them all no and that I wasn't going to leave you."

"But why?" he asked, pleadingly.

"Because I love you!" I shouted, unable to hold back those words anymore.

"What?" He looked dumbfounded, like his mind refused to process the words.

I took a deep breath, and calmly repeated, "Anubis, I have fallen in love with you...very badly."

An just gawked. "I don't understand."

I took both of his hands within my own and brought them together in front of us. "An, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I don't care what the Council says, and I don't care what people think. I love you."

I moved forward, between his arms, and tried to lay my head on his shoulder, but he backed away from me, hitting the city wall with a loud thump.

A single tear slid down my cheek, as I looked up at him and saw the fear in his eyes. I turned away from him, as my heart slowly broke. "I was scared to tell you how I felt. I didn't want to lose your friendship, if I could not have your love."

"But you didn't even trust me." There was pain in his words.

Pain that made the guilt unbearable.

My tears truly fell now. I hurt him. I hurt the man I love. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Was there even a friendship?" he asked, distantly.

"Yes." I said, without thought.

"How can you say that?"

I turned to him. "Fifteen years. For fifteen years, I have stood beside you in friendship. And because of something that happened less than an hour ago, you want to throw it all away? Why? I don't know when I fell in love, but I have always been your friend. So what if I want to be your lover. I will never push you. If you don't want it, then that's it. I will bury my feelings, so you don't have to ever see them again, if that is what you want. Just don't leave me."

"I don't know what I want," he said, approaching me slowly, tentatively.

I didn't move, I only watched, as he came to halt within an inch of me. I looked into his golden irises. I couldn't see what he was thinking.

He raised his fist.

I closed my eyes tightly, as I braced myself for a blow that never came.

He wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me tight against his warm furred body.

I opened my eyes.

He kissed me, gently.

I melted in his arms, as I returned his embrace.

He broke the kiss, but hugged me even tighter. "This feels right."

I laid my head against his chest. "I love you."

"I think...I love you, too," he whispered into my ear.

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Thank you for reading. Please, feel free to comment to your heart's content. Your feedback is the only gauge I have for making this story better.