Burdens - Chapter 79: Addiction
#79 of Burdens
Chapter 79: Addiction
A test or two had come and gone for them, and the wolf's grades had improved substantially. He was now getting scores in the high eighties, as opposed to low seventies. Indeed, he was doing better than a lot of his peers, but not all, of course. One of his classes even scaled the grades, so he ended up with an A-, of which he was quite proud.
Still, there was no word on if he would be able to rejoin the team. Had the damage been done? Was it too late? The wolf had shown an interest in it, but it seemed as if the coach had not, especially a couple months into the semester.
Roger had attempted to appeal to the skunk, to see if he could at least talk to the coach. An appeal was conducted but the result was inconclusive. What could he do?
He and the wolf had been practicing so much that Roger thought that maybe he could try out for the team, as well. He never thought he would, and he still did not think it would really work, but it was a solution to his dilemma. Still, it would not be a path that would be taken unless the coach let the wolf back on the team.
He felt that he was becoming more attached to the wolf, though previously he did not believe that it could be possible. His attachment had gone beyond the mere infatuation and lust he had initially experienced; now he felt anxious when Hunter was away, he had difficulty sleeping unless the wolf was present, and often through his classes that smiling face would be there in his mind. He exhibited withdrawal symptoms on school nights. He was pacified when they were together.
It was not to say that the lust had gone, but rather had gotten worse. He had to "use the restroom" more often, and it felt as if it were becoming more and more of a chore as time went on. Luckily, the wolf never questioned it.
He had not witnessed any similar action by the wolf, and he assumed that it was because he did not reciprocate his feelings and desires. That was fine, the fox thought. There was no need to complicate their friendship. Worst case scenario it would end if he did mention something off putting.
He wanted to share his feelings with someone, though. It welled up inside of him, and he still had the residual feelings of shame and resentment. The fact that it was not a normal situation always bothered him, and it constantly felt like there was something wrong with him. He wanted someone to tell him otherwise, but why would anyone do that? He figured if anything, they would merely confirm his suspicions. Perhaps that was all that he wanted.
Every so often when Hunter was busy, he would still practice with the ferret and Labrador. If he got out of practice, he would be useless to the wolf, or at least that was what he thought to himself. Could he tell them? He decided that it was best not to, since if he did, and they reacted negatively albeit not having shown any indication that they would, then they might tell Hunter. If that were to occur, then more problems could arise.
Perhaps a teacher? The skunk always seemed to be accepting and helpful, but he also knew Hunter, and the same problem was present. Perhaps he could merely refer to the wolf as someone else? Someone made up, someone they did not know. Then again, the teacher was perceptive, and he would probably just figure it out.
He would find a way. Maybe, he thought, just maybe if he wrote it down, that would help get it off his mind. He tried, but to no avail.
He had taken to going online at night during school nights when the wolf was not present. There were plenty of websites where he could talk to random strangers, of whom did not care about him or know of him or the wolf. It was truly exactly what he wanted, and he found he was able to articulate such things clearly to them. It was easier.
The first few attempts, though, had been a failure, as they merely had requested for him to remove his clothes and show himself on camera, or to send them pictures. One even requested to meet up in an undisclosed location, for they traveled a lot, and wanted company. He had blocked such requests.
However, one was fairly amiable. They exchanged messenger information at a point. Roger even managed to get his name, and with some quick searching on the internet, found more information on him.
He was a middle-aged lion. Greg was his name. He lived far away, knew very little about the fox, and was uninterested in getting into his pants. It was somewhat comforting to the fox.
He began to tell him about the situation, and the stranger on the other end listened. When he wanted feedback, he got it. When he asked questions, there were answers. It was refreshing.
It was not exactly normal, he was told, but it was not uncommon. He knew plenty like him. He knew of relationships that had come and gone, places near and far, experiences in life that he regretted but would not remove. He was jaded, it seemed, on the subject of love and desire.
They were short conversations, but he had them nightly. They got along well enough.
The weekend came and interrupted them, though. It was not unwelcome to Roger, of course.
After practicing on the Saturday morning, they had gone to take their showers as per usual. Roger was first to do so, and then the wolf.
The wolf took a lot longer than usual, though. He had been showing signs of fatigue. Perhaps he was sore and tired. Maybe he was getting sick? Roger began to worry a little.
He came back out of the shower, the same as he always did, though, and did not seem to be suffering from any ailment. At least not physically.
He quietly put on his clothes and sat next to the fox. Everything was normal, it seemed.
The wolf grabbed his attention by clearing his throat and speaking softly. "Sorry I was in there so long, I was just...."
He trailed off, so Roger prompted him with a simple, "Hm?"
It seemed as if Hunter was thinking the question over in his head. "You know, when it, uh...."
He looked at the fox directly, his eyes almost seemed like they were pleading for help. "How do you get rid of it?" he asked, desperate.
"Get rid of what?" the fox asked, confused.
"Wh-when it... when it pokes out and stuff," the wolf said softly. He seemed embarrassed by saying it.
Roger knew immediately what he had meant.