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Chapter 68: Cascade

The fox woke up first for once. He nuzzled into the wolf's chest instead of moving away.

Hunter's breathing was heavy and slow since he was still asleep. the fox attempted to nudge him awake and move him, but he did not budge.

Having given up, the fox laid still and closed his eyes. Perhaps he could fall asleep again, and he was sure that if he did so, when he awoke, the wolf would be awake as well.

However, sleep did not come; he was much too warm to sleep, but not warm enough to the point it was uncomfortable. He held Hunter close to him, pressing himself somewhat against the wolf.

It felt to him as if what he had been missing his entire life was now in his arms, and yet it was only until recently did he realize it was missing. It was as if he had been born blind, but now he could finally see, and he did not want to lose it.

He confirmed the wolf was still asleep, and then rested his head a little higher, so that it rested near the wolf's shoulder. He gave his neck a soft lick and blushed, surprised by his boldness, but in the back of his mind he knew he was safe from repercussion.

He whispered, "Hey, are you awake yet? Can you hear me?"

No response came. Roger sighed and checked his watch. It was barely past seven in the morning. He wondered why he was wide awake at this moment, but that just happened sometimes, he figured.

After a few attempts, he managed to escape the wolf's grasp, and rolled out of bed with a soft thud. He picked up his clothes and put them on, his belt making a jingling noise.

He looked at the wolf, inspecting him. It was the same features he had become familiar with: he was large, much more so than the fox; his eyes, though he could not see them, were golden; his fur was but grey, but richer than any color Roger could think of; and the muscles that he had were so well defined by his activities that it made Roger feel weak.

The fox utilized the restroom when he was fully dressed. He was tired, mostly sluggish from the awful diet from the day prior. He looked at himself in the mirror, and somehow, he thought, he seemed different. It was the same red fur, the same brown and white where they needed to be. The same yellow he had always seen when he saw his own eyes. It was the same body and same fox, but his expression seemed different to him.

He played with the younger wolf as soon as he realized that he was not the only one awake. There was still energy in that youth that he began to envy. He could not focus so intensely on the games as Matt did, nor when he won he could not get up and dance so emphatically. Maybe it was just that he had gotten lazy.

Hunter had woken and taken over the fox's place. It allowed Roger to wander about the house. He drank a bit of water, as he had been thirsty but did not want to leave Matt alone.

The day was fairly slow, much of it revolving around playing games with the younger wolf.

Roger pondered why Hunter had not exercised that morning as was his weekly routine, but when he asked, the wolf explained that he planned to do so later that night when the fox left, so as to not waste any time they had.

The fox argued that sitting around and playing games was a bit of a waste of time, but he understood: spending some time together was nice, and he appreciated it.

Their studies began once more, and this time it was a bit more intensive. Roger learned that Hunter had another test the coming week in a class that he had not been doing so well in. It was mostly memorization, but he seemed to be having trouble keeping it all in his head.

Dawn turned to dusk in less time than Roger had hoped. It had gotten to a point where they merely sat next to each other, resting against one another silently. It was enough that it made the wolf content, and the fox had to admit that he could sit like that for many moments longer.

As it came time for Roger to leave, the wolf stopped him.

"Hey, before you go..." the wolf began. Roger looked at him curiously.

"I wanted to ask you something," Hunter said. The fox quirked his head.

"Go for it," Roger replied.

"Well, uh... I want to know if I should... I mean, Mary is nice and all, but you like her, right? She kind of asked me if I, uh, wanted to go hang out sometime, just us two. Sh... should I do it?" the wolf asked. He had his ears folded and was not looking directly at the fox. His paws rested on his lap.

Roger's heart sank. He hesitated, and fought the urge to react negatively. He took a deep breath, and finally said, "If it's something you want to do, then do it. You two get along well enough, right?"

The wolf nodded to the question, though no answer was really expected from it. Roger continued, "Then you two can get to know each other better, and become really good friends. She's, uh... she's a good... fox. Anyway, I... I need to go."

The wolf stood up and gave Roger a hug as he turned to depart. It nearly caused the fox to cry, but he managed to keep a straight face. When the wolf let go, he continued on his way home.

The walk felt like forever now. His mind was blank, as it was the only way he could keep himself from breaking down.

At home, he automatically locked the door behind him and made his way to his room. He set his belongings where they needed to be and moved forward toward his bed, but he did not make it.

He dropped to his knees and it all came to him at once. The tears welled up, and then fell, and from deep in his chest he sobbed. He was finally correct, and he wished that he had not been.

He asked himself many questions, of why it hurt, why he felt the way he did, but there were no answers. He had made an agreement with himself, and now it turned to regret.

He cried until he could cry no more, but his chest still heaved and he still sniffled. It was a pain he had not known.

Darkness enveloped him.