Fracture - Chapter Two - Pulling Apart and Pushing Together
#3 of Fracture
He heard the bell ring, but he couldn't move. He had been corrupted. Shattered. Fractured. He couldn't pull himself together. He just sat there, silently sobbing as the other kids ran down the stairs and to their next class. Nobody knew he was there. If they did, they ignored him. A few balled up pieces of paper rained over him, but judging from the litter already on the floor, these weren't aimed directly at him. Just tossed from the previous class and happened to hit him as he hid from the world. The fox shakily stood up and used the wall to support himself, holding his pendant and willing his control to come back. He felt like he was about to die.
The little silver heart was the only significant memento of his past. It brought his past, his pain, into focus. If he could center it, focus it, he could control it. So he willed everything into the icy heart, and slowly he was able to think. Able to breathe. He stumbled out of the murky stairwell and was momentarily blinded by the change of both light and temperature. He whined softly and headed for his last class. He was still here, might as well reduce the amount of trouble he was going to be in.
He came into the classroom and his teacher, being one of the few who sympathized with the furs, immediately came over, gushing at him, but he blew her off. He might have felt bad about it on a different day, but he just wanted to get away now. He sat in the dark corner. With his white fur, he was easily seen there, but it still made him feel more alone. More solitary. In control. So he waited for the bell to ring. Just a moment before, Vlad came in, his head bent over a green piece of paper.
Alex froze, pushing his chair back further and cornering himself completely, making himself as small as possible. Vlad looked up and was talking to the teacher, showing her his new schedule, and she grinned at him and pointed to one of the only two empty seats in the class... the one right next to the fox. He didn't know if Vlad had seen him yet, but he just wanted to disappear. He caught the dragons eye and he faltered for a moment before sitting down at the double desk.
Alex looked away, keeping back in the corner as far away as he can. He can feel Vlad looking over at him occasionally, but he stares straight ahead. After an awkward two hours, and an announcement that tomorrow was a group project with your table mate, the bell finally rings and he waits for the class to clear out before finally collecting his items and going out the door. He walked out the door, heading toward his bus. He had no idea the dragon was waiting for him.
Vlad followed him, walking slowly and carefully as to make any noise. Alex's ears twitched, but over the noise everybody else was making, talking and walking or running to the busses, he couldn't accurately tell one from another. He had to force himself to breathe. Not to panic again. He walked slowly, keeping himself calm. Nobody in the pack shared his bus. He would be home free until tomorrow. And even then, he only had a class with Jamie... and now Vlad.
He dreaded even seeing the dragon again. But not only did he have to see him, they had to work together on a project. Talk. Build. Discuss. Maybe he could stay home. Tell his parents he was sick and just not go. But then he realized he couldn't. As much apprehension as he felt about seeing Vlad again, he couldn't leave him with a group project to do all alone. He sighed aloud and leaned against a wall, using everything he had to keep calm.
Vlad caught up to him at the wall, nervously looking around before stepping forward. Something's wrong. Get out. It was a kind of gut feeling his mind put into words, but he ignored it. Everything was wrong. It couldn't get any worse than this. But then it did...
Vlad tapped him lightly on the shoulder, and Alex jumped like he'd been burned. He turned around quickly, his tail still in front of him for a moment before it moved with the rest of his body. Seeing who it was, his tail immediately went limp, hanging low. Vlad went to say something, but before he could Alex quite literally turned tail and ran.
He couldn't breathe. Could barely keep moving. Tears threatened to spill over again and a few did before he blinked them back. His stomach was heaving, but there was nothing left to come up. He looked back to see if the dragon followed after him, but he stood where he had, head hanging low, not even looking after him. He turned a corner and stopped suddenly, first leaning against and then trailing down the wall into a crouched position, wiping the tears away.
Humans who noticed him made rude or obscene comments or gestures, but he couldn't do anything currently to stop them. He just whimpered in sorrow and self-pity as his tail wrapped around him. He brought his arm up and looked at the watch. He had about three minutes to find his bus.
He struggled to his feet and ran to the bus ramp, searching around. This school has no organization, he thought as he frantically tried to find his bus. He found it just in time. As he was pulling away, he looked out the window. Vlad hadn't moved. He got worried.
Did I do something? Is he in shock? Too angry to move? Sure, the dragon could fly home, and he told them he found it exhilarating, but he had said that it was nearly too much work to be worth it. That it tired him out like almost nothing else. Alex had never asked what the 'else' was. He was worried now. He had never seen the dragon like that. But they were gone, and he couldn't do anything about it.
He briefly though about calling the dragon, not really talking to him, but seeing that he was alright at least. As if on cue, his phone started vibrating and he saw Vlad's avatar on his phone show through. At least it was only a text. He didn't think he could stand talking to him. He touched the screen and the message opened up.
What happened today?
Three words, but he didn't know how to respond. So he tried to stall. He replied; We got assigned a group project in english.
The response was almost immediate. You know thats not what I meant. Plz talk to me.
He sighed and started typing on the tiny keyboard. You know what happened. You were there. I dont need your pity. Or your acceptance. I shouldnt have said anything, but I did. Dont worry about the pack either, im leaving. I know where im not wanted. He wanted to scream. To rip his phone apart. To break down. But he didn't. He just packed it all down inside.
He turned off his phone. He couldn't keep his calm if this went on much longer. He curled up in the seat and tucked his nose under his tail. He was safe like this, at least. Safe until tomorrow.
He got off the bus and ran home, sidestepping all the questions his parents asked him. He immediately got a long shower, standing under the scalding spray and trying to wash everything away. He got dressed in a pair of cotton pants and a oversized shirt. He mumbled unintelligible answers to his parents questions as he ate dinner. He got seconds, then thirds. The only thing he had been able to keep down all day.
He turned on his phone late that night because he used it as an alarm clock to get up on time for school. His phone spasmed, receiving almost 300 texts and missed calls, most of them from the pack. He quickly dismissed the missed calls. There were a decent number of voicemails and still almost two hundred and fifty text messages. He sighed and ignored them for now.
He would go through them tomorrow. He curled into a ball on his bed, using his muzzle to cover himself with the blanket. Still he shivered all night, plagued with imagined possibilities of the next day and nightmare-twisted versions of what happened at lunch. When he awoke, he grudgingly got ready. He got a shower, drying off as he brushed his teeth. He brushed his fur and got dressed, running out the door to wait for the bus.
He didn't eat breakfast. Didn't know if he would be able to hold it down. He started through the messages, but didn't get anything other than the 'what was that?' 'what happened at lunch?' and 'WTF is up?' texts before his bus pulls up. He locks his phone and gets on, heading to the back before scrolling though more of the texts.
At first, it seemed shocking that they sent him so many texts, but more than 90 of them were from Vlad, telling Alex to call him ASAP or talk to him. The over-all tone of the messages were rather tame, though it seemed they either got frustrated or were angry and settled down as the night progressed. He got through most of them on the ride to school, but still had about 50 left to go. He rubbed his eyes, getting off the bus. He avoided everybody, trying to mimic Jenna's mannerisms to get around unnoticed until he got to the library.
He curled his tail around himself, sitting in one of the few plush chairs they had, scrolling through the last of the messages. He had finished the last one and just started to think about them when the bell rang. The pack didn't seem as mad as he thought they would be. Just worried. But of course, inflection was hard to pick up on in text.
He waited in the library until he had to run to class. He didn't want to take any chances yet of seeing any of them. He barely slides into class when the tardy bell rings, and his teacher does not look amused. Oh well, his opinion didn't matter. The phone starts buzzing in his pocket as he walks to his seat. He pulls it out as discreetly as possible.
Vlad: Are you at school, fox?
Fox? Not even his name. He closes his eyes, but decides it would be better to respond. Yeah. im here.
Vlad: Meet me at break
That wasn't a good idea. Where?
Miyuki: Are you ok?
Vlad: I don't know. Somewhere kinda private...
Meeting in private is a worse idea. Alarms are ringing in his head, telling him to just leave school. Go hide. We have english last. A group project would give us privacy. He tries to keep calm.
Vlad: Before that. At break.
He sighed. He couldn't believe he was actually going to do this. West stairwell.
Vlad: Ok ill be there
The question now was, would he be? He closed his eyes and focused on keeping calm. He was brought back to reality when his name was called. "The answer, Alex?" He took in the classroom quickly, scanning the people and then the board. The math problem wasn't too hard, and he worked through it quickly. "plus or minus the square root of four over... fifteen." He looked at the teacher smugly, as if challenging him. His teacher looked even more irritated and turned back to write the answer onto the board. "Correct."
The bell rang not long after that, and he nervously walked out of class, his ears lowering slightly. He ran over to the east stairwell, ignoring the stoners and the smell from the 'bad stairs' and pushing through them, climbing up. He headed though the building over to the other stairwell and leaned against the door, listening for noises or movement from beyond.
But it's quiet. An awful, oppressive, heavy silence that for some reason made him all the more nervous. He cracked open the door just enough to slip his slim frame through, making sure it didn't' creak and closed it behind him slowly, holding it and moving it back so it didn't slam. It clicked into place, and the click sounded unnaturally loud.
Vlad thought he heard something, but that was the _reason_he kept quiet. Listening as intently as the fox was for another noise. But of course, none came. He started pacing, wondering if Alex was going to show up. Wondering what he was going to say to him. What he could say to him.
Alex heard his footsteps and peered over the railings down at him. To him, Vlad looked about as nervous as he felt. At least there was that. He took off his shoes and walked down the metal stairs, flinching as his sensitive pads felt the cold. He carried his shoes in one hand and kept as close as he could to the wall, trying not to be seen until he was almost at the bottom of the three small flights of stairs.
He saw Vlad look up as he reached the bottom of the second. With his fur, he knew it was near impossible to hide for too long, but still he jumped slightly as Vlad suddenly turned to him. He put his shoes on the landing and stepped into them, continuing down with barely a pause. He didn't meet the dragons gaze as he sat down on the bottom step.
Vlad sat down next to him. He forced himself not to move away. He continued staring at the floor. "I'm here." "...I'm glad." They just sat there in silence for a bit. Vlad was the one who broke it. "This is awkward. Talk to me." "And then what?" "I don't know..." He looked up at Vlad and saw concern on his face. He sighed and looked down again.
The bell rang. Vlad shook his head as if disappointed and went to walk away. "I'm sorry, Vlad. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm afraid if I say talk to you, I'll say something worse." The dragon paused at the door, but didn't look back. The door shut and the fox felt more alone than ever.
He stood up and headed to his next class. The only class where he wasn't in the back. No, In art, he was actually in the front. The only teacher he ever met that did alphabetical seating by first names. He plastered a smile on, but even to his classmates it looked empty and fake. He ended up getting clay in his fur, but other than that, the class actually cheered him up a bit. He ended up going to lunch, getting his food and heading to the pillar.
Luka and Jenna were already there, and they glared at him as he approached, but he sat down and smiled at them. Soon the other's joined him, including Vlad, who looked surprised he was there, but sat next to him. The lunch was very awkward with almost no talking, but near the end they seemed to forgive him. Luka still seemed mad, but even he was warming back up to the fox. He was nervous and confused, and he was still, but at least nobody openly shunned him.
All in all, if they hated him, they hid it well. He was actually happy, now. It was halfway through what he thought would have been the worst day of his life, and he actually had a real smile on his face. He pulled Luka aside to apologize to him. At first he flinched back against the wall, but he tried badly to nonchalantly play it off and lean on it like nothing happened.
Alex looks around, but the rest of the group was gone, though Vlad was looking back at them from a distance. "Luka..." The bunny goes to turn away, but Alex quickly cuts him off, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I just... couldn't hold everything anymore." Luka just shakes his furry head, and the fox can't help but find the way his ears flopped from side to side made the disapproving gesture seem insanely funny.
But he held back his laughter, "Seriously. I'm sorry. If you need anything, you can still come to me. I'm still the same person." Luka just pushed past him, continuing on. He looked over to where Vlad was watching them, but he was gone as well. So Alex sighed and went to his class. Science somewhat interested him, but he was the only fur in the class, and was constantly berated in hushed tones. Even so, the teacher obviously heard most of the insults, but refused to do anything about it.
He was preoccupied thinking about what happened with Luca and what would happen with he and Vlad's project next period. Daydreaming about the worst possibilities seemed to bring them out in real life, because he poured the chemicals in in the wrong ratio and ended up with a puff of acrid black smoke that plastered the fur to his face and discolored it, making him cough huskily for a bit as he tried to get the gunk out of his burning throat. His eyes watered from the irritation and he could hear the jokes and berating comments from his classmates.
He tried to ignore them and got a pass to go to the bathroom. He smeared the pasty soap into his face and grimaced as the scent got stuck in his nose. He gently ran water, making his fur white with suds, but it took 4 layers of the thick goop to make his fur almost as white as it was before. He scrubbed at his face again, using only the water and washing the remnants of the soap out of his ears and nose, having a sneezing fit before he settled down and grabbed a bunch of paper towels. He dried his face as well as he could and left the bathroom, heading back to class for the few minutes left.
He quickly filled out the lab report and turned it in. He ran his fingers through his fur, trying to get rid of the dry, grimy feel it still had. He got a few more comments and snide remarks about his incident, but he ignored them, thinking again of what would happen in a few minutes when he would go to his last period. His fur still feels disgusting to him, but he stops trying to brush it out and leaves the classroom.
Getting to english wasn't a problem. It wasn't too far from his chemistry class and he was usually one of the first ones there. He was surprised, therefore, to find that Vlad was already in his seat waiting. He blushed slightly as he sat down next to the boy, waiting for the bell to ring. They sat there in silence, but surprisingly it wasn't awkward. Instead, it was more of a contented silence. A time when you could just be near a person and feel infinitely better about everything without them having to say a word.
Vlad had never really responded. He had asked to meet up. Asked him to talk more. But he hadn't even really said anything on his part of things. Alex wasn't really all that nervous anymore, thankfully. But he really wasn't as content as he was at first. As the bell rang, he started to become nervous again. But by then it was really too late to do anything. If they were to talk, it would have had to been before the others get there. For now, he was stuck.
The teacher assigned them their projects. A mask project. She showed pictures on the projector of humans wearing animal masks and explained how in the past, many people dressed up in elaborate costumes to tell a story or to express their inner selves. Some people still did it today. So their assignment, including the four furs, was to create a mask that expressed their inner selves.
At the end, it seemed more of a team-building exercise and to help people to integrate the furs than actual expression, but it seemed to work. Of course, one of the humans took it literally and made a mask that portrayed his 'inner self'. His organs and blood painted on the mask and he wore it around proudly. All of the other humans chose an animal, and for some of them, Alex had to admit that he could see some mannerisms of the animals that they chose.
Of course the furs were expected to be a bit more original than animals, and they didn't disappoint. Vlad's was really impressive, albeit a bit depressing. Alex's was a bit more conservative, having small vague scenes that nobody could seem to make out, and a big lock in the middle with a question mark as the key hole. He felt silly wearing it, but he kind of had to. The final goal was to guess who was beneath each of the mask. Of course it was easy for the humans to pick out the furs. If not from the elongated muzzles, then by the tails that trailed behind them. And it was easy for the furs to pick out all the humans. Only so many people had one color eyes, or hair, or wore those kind of clothes. Occasionally, we could even tell by scent, but that normally requires us to become close to somebody first.
But it was fun, and for a bit, Alex could pretend he was somebody else. No worries, no secrets hanging over him. Normal. Safe. He turned in his mask at the end of the day to be graded as he walked out the door. Vlad was still gathering his things, and so Alex waited outside the door for him. They had a few minutes to get to the busses and most everybody had cleared up when they started walking together toward the busses. "...Vlad?"
They were completely alone, and he had to know. "Yesh?" "A-about yesterday... what I said." He had to keep looking at the ground. He knew if he tried to look at the Dragon he would lose his nerve again. "What about it, hun?" His ears twitched at the term, but Vlad had said it before, it might not be more than a polite term of endearment. "I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped." This time, though, he didn't make any apologies about telling him how he felt.
He peeked over at Vlad, who was smiling slightly. That gave him a little more courage and soon he stopped Vlad and turned to him. "So w-what do you think about it?" "Think about...?" "U-us..." That one word took almost all of his strength. Vlad smiled again and turned to him. "How can I refuse such a beautiful foxy?" Alex just stopped in his tracks. It almost seemed as if he had just shut down. There were only two minutes left until the busses pulled out, but he kept replaying Vlad's last response in his head, blushing and looking at the ground.
Vlad smiled at the fox. "Are you okay, Alexos?" He said it softly, running two fingers along the fox's jaw before drawing the fox's muzzle up to his own and kissing him softly. You have probably seen some movies and read a few books that went so far as to describe a kiss as electric. Well so had Alexos. But he had never really got what they meant before. It's not like he hadn't kissed anyone, he had kissed a few people. But that's all it had really been; lips on lips, a kiss on the cheek maybe. But when their lips parted, he was panting, eyes wide in surprise.
His tail wouldn't stop thumping against the brick wall as he heard the busses pulling out. He didn't care. Vlad smiled, and Alex found himself drawn into a kiss with the dragon again. The snowy fox was lost, swimming in a sea of warmth and Vlad's scent.
Eventually, as all good things do, it had to end. Vlad backed up sheepishly, and Alex just leaned against the wall, not trusting his legs quite yet. His mind was still spinning and he could clearly still feel the dragon kissing him even though it had ended. He was brought back when he heard Vlad curse. "W-what's wrong." Did he screw up the kiss?
"I made you miss your bus." Alex smiles at him, moving away from the wall and hugging onto him. "I definitely can't complain. Besides, I should be able to get a ride." He kisses the dragon on his cheek and leans against him. He was absolutely giddy. Everything was going perfect.
He pulled out his phone and tried to calm down, make himself seem sorry as he called his dad. "Dad? I need a ride home." A brief pause. "Yeah. I'm sorry I missed it. I had to stay after class and talk to a teacher." The lie slid smoothly off his tongue, as they had for years. Lies always flowed smoothly through him, but the truth was never quite so easy. It stuck in his throat and felt as if it was burning him as he said it.
Vlad declined his offer of a ride, saying he would rather stretch his wings. So the fox watched him as he ran off, getting a head start before propelling himself into the air and spreading out his wings. They came open with a snap. One moment they were folded neatly behind him, the next they were fully extended with an audible 'crack'.
He smiled as he relaxed against the wall and watched Vlad float away. The dragon turned, hovering, and waved at him. He waved back, smiling, and apparently that was encouragement enough for Vlad to show off, doing a bit of aerial tricks before continuing his steady pace home. He was happy. The only explanation for how he felt. It wasn't so complex. For once, he didn't have to conflict, or pretend, or hide. He was just him.
That voice came back to him. So what? How long will it last? You found somebody who likes you back, but would he if he knew about you? If he knew it all? Every secret and lie unfolded. He thought of the face Vlad made after he had blurted it out briefly. He grimaced slightly and squashed the voice, thinking back to the kiss. Vlad would accept him, he decided. No matter what.
It started to rain, lightly at first, but then harder. He grinned at the sudden change in temperature. The cold chill and sharp scents around him. It always made him more relaxed. Then the boom and crash of thunder. He wondered briefly if Vlad was already home, or if he was still flying in the mess. He put it out of his head. Thinking about that would get him nowhere. Worry for no reason. Vlad was smart. He would know what to do.
His father pulled up beside the overhang. The passenger window went down. "Get in." His father was in a bad mood, but that didn't matter. He pulled open the door and sat down, curling his tail into his lap as he shuts the door behind him. "How can you miss the bus? You have like 10 minutes to get there. Even talking to a teacher shouldn't take that long." Whatever had initially put his father in a bad mood was icily tipped by the weather and having to drive up here to pick him up. "Just lost track of time..."
He started to daydream about Vlad, but his father's angry voice broke in. "We moved down here for you. This place has the best public schools in the state. One of the best places in the whole country that you could get in." There was more than a little emphasis on you. At first, he panicked, but there was no way even his parents knew about most of it. And even the rumors that had been going around where he lived before, true or not, had never been either confirmed or denied.
He almost liked the rumors. It made his life seem mysterious and awesome. But there were some of them that he hated. Most of those happened to be true, though he never did find out how the stuff got out. But he realized his father was talking about furs. It almost seemed as if his father denied his own fur. "Sorry, dad... I made a mistake. Won't happen again." "Yes it will. You never seem to learn from them either. At least don't lie to me."
Alex's ears went down, holding in a whimper. He sincerely hoped he had learned from his mistakes. That he wasn't destined to repeat them. That if something happened, his friends would step in before it got too late. And he didn't even want to think about all the lies. So he told another one. "I don't lie to you, dad."
"Whatever." His dad pulled off, driving slowly through the downpour. As Alex looked out through the window, he once again wondered where Vlad was right now. Probably home. Or about to get there. He absently ran his fingers through his tail, brushing it out and relaxing again. He felt tired, as he always did when it rained. He felt oddly calm as he relived the kiss in his head, and he rested his muzzle against the window. He sighed softly, smiling as they moved through the tempest.