Ander - Part 2: Subchapter 24
24
"I would only ever see your father one more time, on the night of your birth," Sarah said, her voice trembling. She kept staring off at nothing in particular, like one who has received news so terrible she couldn't yet process it. In a way, that is exactly what happened. The messenger was her own mind, travelling a road of twenty-five years to deliver the message of her own memories. "Ander, I'm sure you must have realized this by now. Maybe you knew even before you came here, ever since you heard me whisper your father's name on that hill, but I still feel I need to say it. For you, and for myself, it needs to come out, because I can't carry this burden any longer."
Ander has never felt this way before. He could feel her unspoken words rising up against him like a wave, threatening to overwhelm him, to drown him. She was right. He has known. He has known it deep inside his heart of hearts for a long while, but he was too scared to admit it to himself because he could not yet understand what it would mean for him. But there would be no more running. He couldn't avoid it any longer. He knew exactly what she was about to say and he could hear Banno's words echo inside his head, tearing at his very soul from beyond the grave.
Your blood is a lie...
"Ander..."
Your whole life is a lie...
"You are my son."
There. It's out. Four little words. What's done is done and can't be undone. Ander took a deep breath, then another. The world didn't end, and he didn't feel noticeably different than he did an hour ago, but he still couldn't figure out what to say or how to react. He was literally speechless.
Mateo? Not so much.
"No!" he screamed, flying up from the bench. "No, I just - I can't - This is bullcrap!"
"Mateo, please calm -"
"No! I will not calm down!" Mateo was beside himself, his eyes bugging right out of their sockets. "If you," he pointed at his mother, "and his father," he pointed at Ander. "If - If you two, then that means... That means that..."
"Mateo, honey? Please..."
"It means that him and I... that we're...?" Mateo first pointed at himself, then at Ander, then at himself again. It seemed the only thing he was capable of doing right now was pointing and screaming.
Sarah slowly nodded. "Ander is your half-"
"Nononono!! Don't say it! It's not true!"
"Please sit down, Mat. I still have more to tell. This is important to me."
"No! I have had it! I am done! I can't listen to this tripe any longer!"
"Mat!"
Mateo wrenched the door open, stormed outside, and with one final shout of "I'm done!" he slammed it hard enough to make the antlers rattle against the walls. Once their excited chatter faded away, all that remained was a deathly silence.
Ander reached up and placed his palm against his forehead, trying to placate the headache he could feel forming there.
This is exactly what I needed, he thought. More brother issues...
He got up with a sigh and started for the door.
"Where are you going?" Sarah asked.
"After him. If he tells any of this to his father it'll just cause problems."
"You don't have to worry about that. I know my Mat. He might be a bit... fiery, at times, but he couldn't do that to his father. He just needs to be alone for a little while. He needs time to cool off. This has been just as much a shock for him as for you."
"But what if he -"
"I'll_be the one to tell Michael when the time is right, and now is not that time. This time is for _you, Ander. Please, sit down. I need to finish my story."
Ander considered going after Mateo anyway, but in the end his curiosity proved too strong, although 'curiosity' was putting it mildly. He had a desperate, burning need to know what had happened to him, and there were far too many unanswered questions.
If Sarah really was his birthmother, then how did he end up among the Wolves? Why did Wardo go out of his way to end the relationship between her and his father? And even more disturbing than that, how did Banno know?
Yes, he must have known somehow. Ander was sure of it. He could hear his brother's final words every time he closed his eyes at night, seared into his mind like a brand: You're no brother of mine. You never were. Your whole life is a lie. Your very blood is a lie...
A lie. Everything. He was right all along. It's all been just one gigantic lie. But it still didn't make sense. Mother would never have taken a half-fox bastard as her own. She would have had him burned just like Kiana. She would have -
Half-fox...
Ander looked down at his hands in amazement, as if seeing them for the very first time. His fur, unlike the grey and black of the rest of his family, has always been this peculiar shade of brown. There were other Wolves with brown fur, yes, but his has always been the lightest. He's never even given it any thought till now. It's just always been a part of who he was.
"You took after your father," Sarah said, smiling for the first time since she started telling her story. "But you inherited your colouring from me."
She was right. Her fur was just like his, only a little bit lighter.
His inquisitive nature, his inventions, his restless mind, his hatred of violence, the way he could never fit in... Did all this stem from his Fox half?
Ander suddenly didn't know who he was anymore. He thought he had escaped that crushing wave, but he was wrong. He could feel it rising up again, simply delayed. His breath hitched in his chest and the pain in his forehead suddenly flared up into a full-blown headache. His legs felt numb, as if the muscles had forgotten how to do their jobs. The world became fuzzy and warped, and he felt lightheaded, just like that time he had almost died.
"Ander?"
"I'm okay," he said, taking a moment to lean against the doorframe. The world eventually came back into focus and the strength returned to his legs, but he still felt like he had taken a monster of a punch right in the gut.
"Would you like something to drink? There's a well just outside."
"No, I'm fine, really." Ander crossed the room one careful step at a time and sat down in his old spot, the bench creaking in protest. He looked his birthmother in the eye and said, "I need to know what happened next."
Sarah nodded. "And I need to tell it..."
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