All Things Quiet And Sweet 16 - Now Accept It
#16 of Chronicles of FinalGamer 15 - Silent
And then it will all be over...
Silent Hill copyrighted to Konami, Daisy copyrighted to Nintendo, FinalGamer to me.
The inside of the school had turned into the inside of a demon's slaughterhouse. Industrial girders clacked beneath his feet, doors now thick iron gates like those of prison cells. He smirked at the comparison of a school to a prison in a child's eyes, finding the way east to be locked. He headed west, finding the stairs to be the only way unlocked. As he ascended to the second floor, he noticed another set of stairs that lead to the roof. He wasn't sure why he had not noticed it before, but now there was a barrier placed across that barred him from heading upwards. The barrier had a flowerpot wedged halfway inside, full of dirt and at the height of James' arms. What tantalised him even further was the message upon it, written in that disturbingly familiar feminine hand.
I've been waiting for you James Without you, I could not be complete But you still need to bring me that package I hope it's a song for me
"Song...ohhhh." A light flickered barely in his head as he headed to the south, his memory keeping him sharp for where the music room would be. However, he was blocked from heading any further by an impassable iron gate. Snarling, he saw the town had seen it fit to give him one last runaround of the school circuit before letting him even reach his final destination. He headed to the northeast, passing the approximate locations of the laboratory equipment room, the chemistry lab, and the library reserve room. All of them were still wooden doors, like the rest of the room doors were. Only the hallway doors had turned into iron gates. None of the three doors looked any different, except for the chemistry lab door. Three balloons had been tied to the door handle, in yellow, blue and pink. The door however would not open, not even budging to allow him in, but he could swear he heard giggling from the other side of it. He slowly walked away, not wanting to disturb whoever was inside. He navigated his way around towards the music room, with not a single monster daring to confront him. He wasn't sure why they weren't in the alternate version of the school, a place he would imagine them populating. Maybe the town wanted to rest up before a big fight. Maybe they were all afraid of James for taking down Pyramid Head. He preferred the latter explanation, grinning smugly.
Finally reaching the music room, he stepped inside to find it a completely normal classroom. The walls were still a cheap faded-green paint. The blackboard was a reminder of old lessons past. Chairs were still laid out with even windows to the outside, dark and blind to the madness of Silent Hill. A piano stood in the very centre, elegantly black. He wasn't sure what it wanted him to do, until he noted that the piano keys had been removed entirely to require something else to play. Four rectangular slats. To accompany them, four music boxes stood upon the piano itself, each with their own inscription. The first one was of a figure shivering in the snow, with the words "We wished so hard for winter to take its cold away", written upon its base. The the second had a grave on its own buried in somehow paler dirt, with the words "How you're needed for Earth to sleep so well." The third was of a figure kneeling at a grave, with a raincloud above its head and the words "Teardrops of the dark heavens." The fourth and final one, was of someone digging into dry dirt in vain, inscribed "The ground looked ill, forever barren." Something about the words flickered in James' memory. A song for Daisy? What does that mean? We didn't have any songs...wait. No...we DID have a song. Our love song. Shit, how did it go again? I can't have forgotten this. He tried to hum the song, remembering faint flickers of it, lyrics slowly filling themselves in. He remembered the first word as a springboard for his memory.
"Snoooooooow...hmm-hmm-hmmmmm hmm-hmm-cooooold...aaaah haaa haa haaaaa huuu-hmmmm, huu-haa-huu-haaaaaaa...raaaaaaaain...teardrops of the dark heaveeeeeeeens." The first part was solved. He certainly remembered the first part, and immediately after that, the second was obvious to his memory. "Weeee wished so haaard for-wiiiiinter to-take-iiiits cooold aaaawaaaaaaay." Part two was placed into the piano. So far so good. Now he had just to remember the middle verse, something that was struggling in his mind. "Nin-haaaaaaaa, no more winter caaaame, hurraaaaaaaah. Hen-nyanother hohhhh hi-hehhhhhhh. When-in-ah-naaaaaah...wait...I know this...four...this...the...the ground-looked-iiiiiiill, foreeeeeverrrrrr, baaaarreeeeeeeen." Part three was solved after a struggle of a leap in his mind. With that, the fourth was finally placed down, as he finished the song for sake of posterity. "Snoooooow....please come baaaaack, I'm sorryyyyyy. How you'rrrre needeeeeed, for-Eaaaarth, to sleep so weeeeeelllll. Iiiii, miiiiiiiss, youuuuuuu." As soon as he put down the fourth music box, the piano top opened with a click. Inside, was a fifth and final music box. Two figures stood upon it, embracing each other. Written on the base, were the words "I miss you." Something was also different about this one compared to the other four. It actually started playing the song James was trying to remember, a faint tinkling reproduction of it.
It crept into his heart, which turned heavy with a growing wistfulness. His eyes were too tired to turn moist, yet he could feel them trying to. This was the gift, the song to her. He knew it was. He walked back through the other world of Silent Hill, with music box in hand. Its song echoed throughout the terrible blood-rusted halls. A light seemed to softly radiate from it. As he made his way past the library reserve, a voice came from afar, through the familiar static of a radio. He didn't know where it came from, but it tried to interfere with the song, and it not only angered him, but also saddened him at hearing his name within. "...Ja mes...h el p...s-someone's...w-why is he trying to...stra ngle me... no , please! Please! James, p lease help m-me, why aren't you here?! Please..........c-can't...b reath e...I'm sorry...James." His eyes finally dripped tears, struggling to fight them back, not wanting to let his fury or the static taint this precious song. He finally reached the stairway barrier, planting the music box into the flowerpot. The moment it was buried within the fresh soil, it opened to reveal a flower. A simple little daisy, before the barrier swung outwards slowly. James ascended towards the roof, a growing unease within his heart. The exit door to the rooftop, much to his weakened chagrin, was locked, without a keyhole. There was however a different set of holes. Three rectangular indentations. Above, below and to the left of the door's circular handle. Something was scribbled on the wall beside the door.
What killed you the most? The fact that I had left your side so soon Or the fact that you couldn't ride in high on a silver carriage? If only there hadn't been fires from below your window Maybe your life would have been different.
Having his mind trained well enough by now to recognise such cryptic words, he recognised those rectangular indents from before. He looked into his satchel and pulled out the three tarot cards. He didn't know why he had collected them, but he felt as if he knew of them before. He placed the Lovers to the side, the Chariot above and the Tower below the handle. It clicked with a firm acceptance, as he braced himself to open the door. He could have just opened it. But he decided instead to show the town that he had enough, and forced it open with a furious kick, smashing his foot above the card-fitting lock. The door swung open violently, cards crumpled from the impact as he stared out towards the fog-laden rooftop. He wasn't sure how, but the town's other world had disappeared, leaving him within the grey daylight mist. Nothing was on the rooftop other than a few AC conditioners, enclosed walls and iron fences. But there was someone else. A female, pale-furred, standing with his back to him and gazing out towards the town. He carefully walked forwards, distrustful of everything. "...Luisa?"
She turned around and he recognised the look in her eyes. It wasn't her. No longer was there whorish makeup around her eyes, but there now sat a much sweeter expression from long ago. She still wore that same multicoloured patchwork dress. "No...." "Hey there James," said the all-too-familiar newcomer. Her voice was sweet like the scent of spring flowers, just like he remembered it to be. "What's the matter? I thought you'd be more surprised to see me sweetie." The raptor's shock was delayed, barely able to comprehend seeing her in the flesh again, as he blankly replied: "Being here long enough...should kinda make me less surprised about anything now." "Mmmm I don't think so. I missed you sweetie." As she walked forwards with a disarming innocent smile, he sneered and backed off. "Don't come any closer, godammit." "Why...James, what's the matter?!" "You're not Daisy. I dunno who you are, but you're NOT Daisy." "Wha...how can you even SAY such a thing? I'm shocked that you'd even think I would pretend! Don't you remember the fun we had? That little fossil you planted for me?" "Daisy died four fucking years ago. I saw her body, strangled, don't you DARE pretend to be her." "Who's pretending? I can't say that I'm not Daisy after all." "What?" "I really am Daisy...just not alive. Haven't you figured it out yet, bow-wow? Or maybe the fog's too thick for your skull?" "Wh-what?!" "Why else would everything here wanna hurt you? Why else is this town made in such a way to make you and only you suffer? Did you ever stop and think that? Or were ya too busy trying to get naughty with Luisa?" "HEY, shut up!" "Or else what? You'll do to me like you did to my killer?" The words stunned him, to hear them from her voice. The very idea of it sickened him as he flinched back. "N-NO! Fucking hell woman, no!" "Then why James? If yer so sickened by it, if you can't even stand the idea of me even thinking it, why did you torture him like that? You did so much to him in the most nastiest ways...and you did it in my name. That's not what I wanted."
He clenched his fists, taking a moment to gather his words to defend himself. "I...I...I was angry! I wanted justice, justice for YOU!" "No...you wanted revenge, and that isn't the same as justice. Revenge for the happiness he stole from you that he made in the first place." "He didn't make it, I did! WE did! Together!" "And he took it away from us." "Which is WHY he had to pay!" "And that was what you think he deserved? Was that what you think I would have wanted for such a horrible person? Do you think I would even want that done to anyone, no matter how evil they were? That's sick. You're a very...very sick boy, James. I should have known by the way you were so forceful on those like Freya that you couldn't hold yourself back, like a normal person would." "What else could I have done then!?" "Something I would have wanted, if you even knew me at all." "It's not about you for fuck's sake!" As soon as the words left FG's mouth, he felt shocked at himself, covering his mouth in shame. "It wasn't? Who was it about? You?" "...I...D-daisy..." Tears sprang up to his eyes as he tried to keep his voice from shaking, trying to explain himself in a rising panic. "All I wanted was to love you...j-just s-s-someone to love, someone to live my life with in peace! I couldn't go home, I thought I'd never be able to get back home after...a-after...and he took that from me, he took all of that from me! I wanted him to suffer! I wanted to get all the hatred I had for him out of me, I wanted him to suffer WORSE than I had! I wanted him to die in the most fucking painful way I could make, I WANTED REVENGE FOR YOU!" "But you just said it wasn't for me...it was for you. Such a selfish ass you are James." "Shut up, shut the fuck up Daisy! You're dead, you can't say ANYTHING to me anymore, you can't even JUDGE me, the dead can't judge me!" "I'm not judging you, James." "YES YOU FUCKING ARE!" "NO! You're judging YOURSELF."
The odd statement temporarily halted FG's tirade. He cocked his head, confusion mixing with his rising anger. "Wh...what?" "Haven't you figured anything out yet? Didn't you notice the way everyone else looked at you when you mentioned Luisa? And every time that guilt rose up in you, she just died all over again. Don't you understand anything James? You should stop feeling so guilty." "I don't feel guilty over what I did to that fucker! He deserved it!" "Did he deserve that much pain?" "HE KILLED YOU! IN COLD BLOOD! IS THAT NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON YOU FUCKING BITCH!?!?" "That's no way to talk to yer girlfriend, James!" "YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, YOU SHOULDN'T BE TALKING TO ME AT ALL!" "Don't you know who you're even talking to?!" "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" "You always were a little slow. I guess that comes with being raised on the streets without mommy and daddy to guide ya right. Look at you. A violent little pervert who lost his virginity to an old bartender, and you end up worse than the one who killed me. He didn't even rape me James. Why did ya do that? Was it the only way you felt big over him, make him feel he was beneath you?" Bile rose up in the raptor, his eye twitching towards his lover's mirage, gulping to restrain himself. "You'd never understand the way I am. This is the way I had to be, on the streets there's only justice as you saw fit!" "And what IS justice to you? Is justice breaking an arm for stealing your favourite toy? Is justice burning down their house if they hurt a loved one? Was it justice when you blinded that kid?" "THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO! And he deserved it anyway, that fucking PRICK, he was a bullying little bastard and he nearly killed me!" "But where does it end for you? You think yer gonna stop at what you did to Bob, but you won't. Admit it James...you have a nasty temper." "Shut. The fuck. Up."
He snarled venomously, eyes glinting with a welling rage that only amused Daisy's shadow, making her giggle patronisingly. "Ooooh, you got such a bad mouth too, ya can't just stop cursing cantcha? Why? Does swearing make ya feel big? Make you feel all grown up, even if yer still a kid? The same stupid li'l orphan who never had any friends, and beat up everyone black an' blue if anyone tried to touch ya?" "You'd never understand! You with your perfect little fucking life in your stupid patchwork kiddie shirt and your fucking city living and your little fucking FANTASY!" "At least I had something. But you only had me James, and you couldn't even hold onto that. There's nothing you can ever hold onto. Not Sarah, not your anger...not even me." "I said shut the fuck up you FUCKING BITCH!" Practically proving her point in fury, he launched forwards to punch her face hard, making her land on the floor with blood spitting out of her pretty white muzzle, coughing slightly as the raptor merely stood over her, fist clenched in fury. He expected her to cry, to whine, to scream. Instead, she giggled. And not in the way he remembered, not in the sweet giggling way that would brighten his day. This was a malicious giggle, a mocking one that only infuriated him all the more. He roared and went down onto the ground, grabbing her by the neck and punching her the eye, blackening it into a deep purple, punctuating with each slam of his fist: "NOBODY! FUCKS! WITH ME!"
She could only cough and shake with the pain. His claws dug firmly into her neck as he delivered one last solid punch square into her jaw, slamming the face straight into the ground. He bent down further to snarl his next words. "I told you before. If ANYONE messed with me or you, I'd make them pay. I had to put up with the world screwing me over every FUCKING way for years, and I don't have to take it anymore." "Even if it meant hurting your friends?" "I'd never let ANYONE hurt my friends, or my lovers! You know that, you know what I did to someone who DID hurt you, Daisy." "Why can't you ever accept when something is out of your control?" "Because FUCK THE WORLD! I'm a goddamn raptor with claws and teeth, I don't have to take SHIT from anyone! And now I'm even more dangerous! NOW I can fuck up anyone who tries to hurt me even more than before with all this nano shit inside me! I used to be scared of all this power in my body, the nanos and seeing other worlds...but then, after a while and all, when I see the things that I can do!"
He brought out one hand with a slowly growing fire within his palm, burning it with a wicked flare. "Without these powers I was NOTHING! I was a stupid little kid in a shitty-ass bar with only one good friend to rely on! Any advantage I can get, I will take with BOTH hands to make any bastards pay double for what they do!" "So...you're a kid trying to be a superhero?" Daisy panted heavily in pain. "I never heard of a superhero who'd be so sick in his revenge." "I'm not a superhero, I'm the fucking FinalGamer! Oh I can be a hero alright, I can protect others and myself, I'm not a bad guy, but who says I have to fight fair?!? I don't care what Glenn said, he's wrong! It doesn't work that way anymore! Maybe in his world sure, but where I come from, there's no such thing as a clean fight, and I'm not wasting any opportunity I can get to stay alive just because of some crap about honour and chivalry! And you know why!? Because heroes never fucking lose!" "Heeheeheh...fine. Then let's see how a hero really fights...FinalGamer."
And with that, Daisy suddenly shoved James off of her body with an unseen force, before picking herself up from the ground. She raised her arms as if about to perform a dance, before hooks on thin fibrous cables slowly began to hang down from the sky above them. They began to entwine around her body like serpents, piercing her flesh to make her shudder in a strangely pleasureful pain, pulling the skin back to reveal sickening black lumps of muscle and sinew all across her body. Soon her fur slipped shoddily off her body as easily as her dress would, the flesh becoming somewhat slanted on her form. Two larger hooks soon joined to jam straight into her eyes, bursting her precious angel eyes like eggs, to pull apart her very skull. Her screams of agony were soon joined by two choking anguished voices from within. Growing from inside her splitting skull, like an insidious weed, were two bloodied and burnt velociraptor heads, hissing towards FG: "James...our son...what happened to you?" As sickened and shocked as he was at the sight of this, he kept thinking to himself this was just all a trick the town was playing on him, that none of this was real. Even if he felt pain from it. He knew who they were. Deep in his heart, he knew what they were meant to be. He was struggling to brace himself against the monster's psychological warfare.
"M...mum...d-d-dad...no...sh-shut up. Shut up! I know you don't exist, don't try this shit on me! I grew up without you, that's what happened! You think you can make me cry now when I had to live without you for TWENTY-FOUR FUCKING YEARS!?!? I don't even know if you ever loved me! I know NOTHING about you!" "But we do...we loved you...we used to love you...until you became...monster..." "How do I even know you're not lying?! I don't even remember what you look like! You could have been assholes for all I know!" "My...sweet James...such...a mistake..." Suddenly, the thing lunged at the raptor with a banshee-like howl that stunned him with a horrible din. He barely dodged to the side in response, skewering them through the side with his scissors in reflex. Blackened blood oozed thickly down his blades like. He had no idea what this thing could do, despite being in the town for so long. His fear was fighting his anger in the coming battle. Soon the creature's hands began to glow with fire, flames licking across its horribly gnarled fingers before raising them towards the raptor. He immediately began to feel a burning sensation all over his body, as if he were suddenly thrust into an oven. Such an intense pain so suddenly made him collapse and screech in anguish, writhing in imaginary flames. "HHHHAAA_AARRGH!" _"This is how we felt son...now join us...join us in agony. Perhaps by cleansing you in the fire that cleansed us of our lives...we can make you better in death." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH! IT HURTS! STOP IT, PLEASE MUM STOP IIIIIIIT!" "We should have...aborted you after all...James." "NO! F-FUCK YOU, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME, YOU'RE FUCKING LYING, YOU NEVER KNEW ME!" "Come to mummy James...you'll be safe here." "NO! NO MUM! F-FUCK YOU! FUCK! YOU!"
He tried to ignore the searing pain, trying to remind himself this wasn't happening. He wasn't being burnt, he was being tricked. He had never been burnt this badly in all his life, how would he even know how it felt? Even if he had to lie to himself, he would fight it. With a cooling sensation, he had an idea and suddenly brought about a blast of water all around him. All he needed was his mind to believe. He poured pure cleansing water all over him, the thickening fog aiding him with its moisture. With the "fire" extinguished from his body, he lunged once more and pierced the front abdomen of the thing. It had its powers, but it wasn't very agile from its hooked position to an imaginary ceiling. The monster grabbed at his neck with its winding cables, coiling around his throat to choke him hard. The raptor wriggled hard and gagged violently, thick fibres pressing hard upon his windpipe like thumbs. He struggled with whimpering squeaks, choking pathetically, trying to resist and break free. Instead, he opted to shove the blades through his parents' eyes, a shriek of surprised painful laughter causing the cables to loosen and fall around him. James fell back while clutching his throat, struggling to breathe in more air.
"GHKK...HHHHHH...BITCH, YOU FUCKING BITCH!" He let himself catch his breath before waiting for the beast to float forwards, wielding a set of hooks ready to smash into his brain. He dodged quickly as soon as they shot out, leaping to the side to stab deeply through the neck. It uttered a choking sound, struggling to speak with strangled tones. "Why...did you...love me?" "DON'T ASK THAT!" He pulled his blades back after a good twisting tear, blood spewing out in a thick blackened ooze. "You never ask that question! I know I did, why else would I kill someone!?!" "Because...you blame yourself." "The only one to blame is Bob, the one who murdered you, Daisy!" "If you had been there to save me...you always wonder that. You can't face the responsibility James...the guilt must feed on your heart...you don't want to blame yourself...so you made someone else pay." "HE. MURDERED. YOU. How fucking hard is that to understand!?!?" "You did not even consider something less...visceral for judgement? Excessive force...makes you worse than the killer." "If he didn't want to die so painfully, he shouldn't have killed you in the first place. It's his fault, HIS FUCKING FAULT!" "Why has our only son become such a monster?" "Because nobody told me 'That's enough James' when I tore his fucking guts out!"
More hooks swung at him, reaching beyond the range he expected them to as one of them caught his knee and hooked it good. Slicing underneath the skin, he grunted loudly and fell to the ground, dragged towards the creature like a fish on a reel. He couldn't escape, as he readied his scissors to plunge once again into its sickening cadaver. Again through the chest they plunged as it made a gargling roar of pain, giving FG time to forcefully pull the hook from his leg. He yelled with pain and limped around as quick as he could to slash through the spine, right between the raptor heads. An anguished screech resonated in stereo as he dodged the flailing lethally-bladed legs to keep slicing the thing in two. Despite his wounded knee, he eventually succeeded as it began to spasm uncontrollably, a horrendous world-tearing scream resonating throughout the fog itself. Blood spurted from its mouths and holes like jets of water, a fountain effect from the huge gash of the spine. The raptor pulled back away as it sputtered and floated limply by its hooks. The town was starting to twitch around him, strange glints within the fog warping and bending his vision. He could see a weak spot upon the monster. The throat, pulsating openly like gills before him as it struggled to breathe. He shoved his hands directly into the open throat and crushed the windpipe violently, choking the life out of Daisy's monstrous form. He gazed into all three faces of his parents and lover. Tears ran down his cheeks as they screeched a piercing cry, like rusted nails carving into a blackboard, throttling it like a doll. _ "JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!" "SHUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUP!"_
He squinted his eyes shut, trying to scream louder than the monster to drown her out, tears welling up in his eyes. "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, GODFUCKING SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! You're dead! You're all fucking dead, because of this fucking world! I can't have a mum, or a dad, or even a fucking girlfriend to love because the world FUCKING HATES ME, so SHUT, THE FUCK, UUUUUUUP!" Eventually the beast threw James off of its neck as it hissed out in three voices. the creature slowly dying from blood loss and asphyxiation, The raptor's claws were stained deep with black ichor, as it fell to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. The windpipe was twisted and slashed in several places, faintly twitching with air failing to pass through it. As it lay choking on the ground like a fish out of water, the three heads of Daisy and FG's parents all gazed up at him. The raptor recoiled slightly at the sight of half of his ex-lover's face choking for air. He knew this was half of what she looked like in her last throes of life, despite the twisted sickening voice it possessed. The creature shuddered out its last words to him. "I...only wanted...what's best for you." James could only reply with heavy breaths, murmuring: "I...hhhh...I-i-i...don't even know...what's best for me, anymore..." "But...I do know...it wasn't your fault." The strange words of some sort of admittance made him sit upon the ground and begin to realise something. As the beast finally passed away with one final half-breath, he began to think over the death of his lover. The town forced it upon him now, and the last cracks of his mental defence began to show. The death of this monster, with his lover's face split in two, finally caused him to break down. It soon revealed what he had long denied himself, what he should have allowed himself to feel.
Guilt.
Keeping it bottled up inside him for so long had done very little good. The guilt had still remained, no matter how much blood he had shed, and for the first time since Daisy's murder, he allowed it to awaken inside him. His mouth started to quiver, his eyes turned bleary before he began to sob profusely over the corpse of his monster. He remembered everything that night. Everything he blamed himself for in that instant he had shut out of his mind, wanting to blame someone else, even if it was someone else's fault. He blamed so many things, the package, the trap, the blizzard, Freya, so many "what ifs" peeling away from his mind. If it wasn't for his carelessness falling into the pitfall trap, if he had just avoided leaving the house at all...the memories of Daisy flowed back to him in a hurried rush, remembering himself as he was when he first found her. His words were shaky and shivered from his lips. "I'm sorry...I'm s-s-s-sorry...oh god Daisy, why...why...I only wanted love. Why can't I even have that? I can't even...I...couldn't even protect you...please forgive me. I couldn't...I couldn't even protect you in a place like Crossville, not even in H-heaven I could..." His arms shook as he felt himself in the blackest of despair. Emotions crowbarred into his heart, most notably anger. But it wasn't the normal anger he always had, the anger for others. It was anger at himself, all of which fuelled upwards through his throat slowly. The fury and sorrow burned within him, his heart feeling as if it had become a sunken brick of hot lead. "Ah...a-a-a-ah h-h-h-hhhuuu......a-a-a-a-aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA_AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHH!_"
He screeched to the heavens and began to swing his scissors insanely with fury. He wanted to destroy something, hurt something, his rage at himself flaring. "WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE ME FUCKING SOMETHING!?!?" He stared into the blades of the scissors, seeing his face twisted in sorrowful hate, split in two, shaking with his arms. "ALL I EVER WANTED WAS SOMEONE TO LOVE, SOMEONE TO BE WITH, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN GIVE ME FUCKING PARENTS!" He tensed all of his muscles, focusing his anger into himself, unable to bring himself to hurt the monster before him. Not when it had died with the peaceful look of his lover and parents. He howled his sorrow, punching the ground, bashing his fists into hard blacktop, wanting to break his hands, wanting to cripple himself as punishment. He soon started to dig his claws into his face, reopening his wounds, making them hurt as he dug deeper. Blood poured from his cheeks as he screamed more and more. It wasn't enough to satisfy his self-hatred. He needed to end this. He felt he had to. He brought his scissors out with teeth bared at his reflection, broken into two again by the blades. James brought the blades to his neck, threatening to decapitate himself, beginning to squeeze slowly.
"I c-can't do this anymore........c-can't do anything...I killed you Daisy...I should've...h-hhhh..I could have saved you. You died 'cuz of me not being there quick enough...and...f-fucking raptor's meant to be quick...can't even be a raptor...lover...s-son...I can't be anything..." Tighter he squeezed, tighter and tighter as he felt the blood choke out of him. The sensation of blood loss from his other wounds urged himself onwards with bile in his throat. A small cut developed on either side of his neck as he screamed to himself. "DO IT! F-FUCKING DO IT! C-c-couldn't even save Sarah...she's probably DEAD 'cuz of you James! I give up...f-f-fine...you win...I don' care anymore...just...j-j-just...if only I...I...no...can't do anything, f-f-f-fucking coward you are, you could have done something, had to run away, selfish bastard. You...y-you...WHY!?!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE A FUCKING HERO SARAH!?!? "I couldn't even save the only two people I ever loved.......GODFUCKINGDAMMIT, YOU CAN'T EVEN KILL YOURSELF YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!" Unable to summon the pure will to die, he threw the scissors away hard, lying down onto the ground as memories and confliction emotions ravaged his mind. Reduced to a pathetic insane-sounding babbling of tears, he hunched over on the ground, whimpering like a child. "M-mummy...daddy...I'm sorry...I-I-I-I'm s-s-sorry...wh-why do I have to...why didn't I die with you...h-h-h-hhhh..." His words were choking up as he began to feel a fury upon himself awaken within the mindless stream of tears from his eyes, his nostrils, his lips. "Hhhhhh...D-d-daisy...S-s-s-s-sarah...SARAH! SARAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
With his final cry of a deeper source of his guilt, he got up into a stumbling run and tore open the bandages of his leg, eyes wetly shut tight. He dug his claws into his leg and forced the wound open until it bled open once more, screaming with a blissful relief of feeling pain. He couldn't even walk without pain shooting through his body, which he relished and took, forcing his feet onwards, tears seeping into his wounded cheeks. He didn't even get five steps beyond the monster before blood loss prevented him from going further. He soon collapsed, a trail of blood from the monster to his body, accepting his guilt in the quiet of the mist. He thought back further to Sarah, the guilt devouring his heart at long last. If he had been more careful that night, if he had covered his tracks better, Sarah would still be okay. He would still have been safe in his bar apartment, he could have still had a life. A shitty slum life, but a life nevertheless with the one he loved. He'd never have met Daisy, maybe Bob would have gotten bored and not have killed her. She could have been still alive to live a peaceful existence if they had never met. He hiccuped tears as he laid upon the cold rooftops, wincing hard, now too exhausted mentally or physically to do anything else. His snout stayed wet for as long he remained awake. But the voice came to him, just before his vision faded. "James...wake up."
He was amazed to find himself even able to wake up again. He thought he had died at last, and yet he was still upon the rooftop of the school. The fog had managed to dissipate, area around him more visible. His mind was still in a mess, but his body was strangely fine. No blood, no wounds even. James also felt as if a great weight had been lifted off of his chest, despite his mind feeling fractured. Looking around him, his scissors were clean of the black ooze from the monster he had faced, while the monster in question was gone, without a single spatter of blood. Lifting himself up slowly with a somehow fully-healed body, he saw from the rooftops that the roads were no longer broken. A road out of town to the north offered him a chance to finally leave. The town itself seemed to be satisfied at last. Disoriented with a deep burning shame inside the bottom of his heart, he walked towards the stairwell, with no idea on where to go next. But before leaving the school roof, he noticed a piece of paper taped upon the stairway door. It was written in what he still recognised to be Daisy's hand.
_the darkness may be your only ally stalking within your shadow.
you never seem to learn your lesson, James so find someone who will teach you.
at least you tried to help others besides yourself that shows you still have a chance to redeem yourself
the only gift i can give you here is the pain you felt in every step.
this pain will give you humility, and your humility will bring you love again._
Confused by the writing of the letter, he pondered over each part slowly, taking the note with him as he headed down the stairs. He passed through dimly-lit empty corridors, ignoring all other rooms before reaching the front of the school. The town was deserted. Not a single monster was to be seen or heard. As he headed north along Midwich Street, he studied the note cautiously to try and figure out its meaning, feeling it was a clue on where to go next. His mind was trying to filter the first part alone, it began to connect something up, combining itself with FG's thoughts of wanting to find a way out. His mind now felt fragile, as if a single stumble would shatter it into peaces. He could feel it start pleading for a more comforting place. As he began to think upon the shadows, the darkness that stalked him and all things within it, his eyes began to droop. His vision blurred. His head turned thick and heavy. His arms and legs deadened with a sudden weight. He felt as if the energy had been sapped from him all of a sudden, giving him an urge to want to sleep. And so he did. Dropping the letter from his hand, he just managed to reach the underside of a bypass structured above his head, before collapsing gently upon the gravel. He laid underneath the bypass, standing guard at the very north of Silent Hill, before slowly disappearing within a thickening fog. A wisp of warm air just barely touched him, like the breath of a lover, as if the town itself was kissing him goodbye.