FSE

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I struggled to make my way. There were branches dangling everywhere and the only thing I had to clear them were my bare hands. I even got pricked by a thorn or something else; it was too dark to know.

I was blinded for a moment as I emerged from the thicket. The moon was shining brightly tonight. You don't get to see it like that in the city. It was stunning. The river in front of me reflected the beauty of the moon, it was rippled but somehow it kept on sparkling on the water. There was a log just beside the river. It was mossy, as you would expect, but the upper portion was dry. I decided to sit on that part.

As I sat, the trunk creaked, but I barely noticed it since my mind was boggled up with thoughts, thoughts about him.I remember when Kouya and I were just kids. I was thinner back then, a bit plump but I did not have the chubby belly I have today. Kouya, on the other hand, was also thin, even thinner than me, but despite that, whenever I walked across the hallways of school, I would hear girls chattering about how handsome Kouya looked on that day, and the day after, and the day after that day. On and on it went, I got sick and tired of it. Everytime I heard any babble about, "Kouya this and Kouya that," my stomach churns and twists inside. I was never fond of overrated praise. He was actually popular without him knowing. It could be his natural charm, but I know he wasn't aware of that. One time, Shun was surrounded by girls at school. They were all fascinated at how innocent Shun looked back then. Kouya walked by the scene and the girls quickly shifted their attention to Kouya, but he just shrugged them off.

I was just a kid then. It is kind of funny when I look back. Who would have knew that I'd have feelings for the person I secretly hated back then. And a guy on that note.

What am I saying? We're just friends. Get a grip.

I picked up a pebble beside me and threw it in the water. Before it could even land on the surface, I heard footsteps behind me. I glanced in the direction of the sound, and what I met were his golden eyes. They were shining under the moon. Striking as they were, I felt comfortable under those eyes. It was Kouya.

"You do know everyone is looking for you," he came closer and put his hands in the pockets of his jeans. The crunching of dried leaves echoed in the vicinity. I felt a bit tense.

"How'd you know I was here?" I leaned to my left so I could see him. I was so sure this place was secluded from the others, but Kouya proved me wrong.

"I noticed you were always staring in this direction when we were swimming earlier, so I figured you saw something fancy."

He was noticing me? That's embarassing. I was certain no one was looking at me that time. Kouya always evades my attention. Damn it.

"I wanted to be alone...," my voice trailed off. I suspect someone might be eavesdropping. For some reason, Kouya started to frown. I loose my grip on the log for awhile and it took a moment before Kouya spoke.

"Can I sit here?" he gestured beside me. I nod my head. He could have just sat, I won't mind. The trunk creaked again and I start to wonder if it could hold us both.

"Listen, about what happened earlier," he stops for a moment and doesn't even bother to look at me. I wasn't looking at him either, so there wasn't any problem with that. However, my heart beats faster, I'm afraid of what's he's going to say next. "I did that on purpose." I was taken aback and I felt that my heart skip a bit. Could it be really true? I mean, things like that only happen soap operas but this time, this time it was real. I remained silent and refused to speak, but I took a look at him. "This is hard." I heard Kouya mutter under his breath.

My heart was beating faster every second he stopped speaking, the cold atmosphere around us didn't help either, I was struggling to regain my composure.

"I know it's hard to believe but--" he cut off short and he shot me a fierce look. Eye to eye. Some part of me felt like I knew what he was going to say, something I could only see in my dreams. But this time, it was real.

"I love you, Hiroyuki. Truly, I do."

I almost forgot to breath after what he said. Is it true? The husky that's right beside me. The one that Ie been thinking of this whole moment just confessed his love to me? I struggled to remain silent. My brain isn't working as expected. I wanted to say something, but my mouth refuses to release a word. My body was shaking a bit. In an instant, Kouya held my hand. I was relaxed for a bit, but somehow, it felt wrong and right at the same time. I pressed my lips for a moment, and made a deep breath.

"I don't know what to say," was all I could ever mutter. Deep inside, I wanted to recollect my thoughts, but before I could, a forceful and quick arm pulled me towards Kouya. We pressed on each others' bodies, but what really surprised me was the hot feeling on my lips.

He kissed me.

My face was getting red. I quickly regain sense and push him away from me. I heard him gasp in surprise. What I did was probably the stupidest thing I did in my entire life. Without a word, I dash away from the scene, heading towards the direction of the campsite. I ran as fast as my legs would take me. I didn't even glance at him, which hurt me the most.

By the time I've arrived at the campsite, everyone was asleep. But I didn't care. I quickly shut my tent, zipping it tight. I just wanted to escape. I still had to digest what just happened. I bury myself under my pillow, and hope to never wake up the next day, after what I did.