Family Days 28
#28 of Family Days
Perhaps the weekend didn't turn out like any of the furs expected. A bit of yelling, a bit of cooking gone bad, a failed brunch, letting your frustrations out on a nearby lamp, they're all just parts of how the weekend didn't go quite so greatly. But things are out in the air now, and that is the best thing that could happen in the end, right? Well, they would be out in the open, save for the fact Chris is still locked in his room...
Hey Everyone! Well...I'm working on a time-line....though perhaps that can just be a running gag when it comes to me posting! I'll be trying my best to get things out quickly, and hope you enjoy the story as always!
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Chris stared at the door and wondered if his dad was still there. Surely not; no one would actually wait outside a door this long would they? Even he had fallen asleep, surely the other person had grown tired. But his dad had said he would. He didn't want him to be out there though--did he? A part of him did, a part of him wanted his dad to have meant it when he said he'd wait outside for him as long as it took, but he couldn't imagine his dad still being there nearly twelve hours later.
He sniffled and wiped his nose on a stray blanket--not caring if he dirtied them any. The pain at how he'd embarrassed himself--and much more--his father, was too strong in his mind. He knew his dad cared for Ben, and what had he done? He'd yelled at his father--told him the bear couldn't replace his mother, that his father had never loved him, and that he didn't want his dad to forget him if Ben was around. Yeah! He'd been just fine with Ben coming over for the weekend--and World War II had just been a squabble.
Why hadn't he just stayed quiet? Maybe if he'd just shut-up and not told his dad anything then things wouldn't be so bad. And they were bad, right? The world outside was still moving on. Ben had heard his outburst--what if he had scared Ben off? His dad would never forgive him, would he?
He wouldn't forgive himself. At least before he knew his dad would smile and give him a hug, ask him how his day was. But what if he ruined their relationship? His dad would have every right to be angry with him--hate him even. Chris quickly shook his head of the thought, wincing at the sting even the scenario brought: his father would never hate him.
Even from how he'd sounded outside his door...his dad still loved him. He'd told him he was sorry after all. But why? His dad had nothing to be sorry for, he knew that. Was it just to get him out of his room so he could be punished? No, that was just as stupid an idea. Shifting down further into his bed Chris let out a disgruntled huff: his mind was still racing.
Brunch had been a failed attempt after his outburst at his father and now it was nearly midnight and he hadn't moved outside of his room. The shadow outside his door wasn't there anymore, but then again the sun was down. He let out a small sigh and pulled his pillow closer, closing his eyes to shoo the world away.
His father wasn't still there was he? Maybe he'd left him to go live with Ben--could he blame him? After all, if he was with Ben he'd be happy; unlike here. And after his attack on his father, did he have any right to stay with him? Why couldn't he take it back? He would act like everything was fine--if only his father wouldn't leave too. He couldn't be alone. Chris stared at the door for a few moments, "Dad?"
There was no reply.
So his dad had left him. That would make sense. He pulled his pillow closer and a small whine escaped. Ben was probably holding his dad and telling him that they didn't need him; that he was a fool and...expendable. Would his dad ever come back? He quickly shook his head though; his dad was still here. There was no way his dad would leave him!
After a minute Chris got up and moved over the door. He put his ear against the door and tried to listen for a sound but all he heard was his own breathing. Without much of a fight his eyes watered a bit, even if he hadn't really expected his dad to be at the door even now. After a few seconds indecision he unlocked it. As he twisted the handle the door opened of its own accord, making him give a startled yelp of surprise.
Marion was jerked from his daze as he felt himself falling back and tried to catch himself but it was too late, "Woah!" he yelled and fell backwards and into his son's room.
Chris jumped back as his father fell on his back with a thud into his room. By the looks of things his dad had been slumping against the door to wait for him--he had really still been there. Relief immediately flooded through him, but he pushed it away as quickly as he could. He stared down at his dad who was staring up at him. Aside from the color of their eyes, he thought they looked very similar--both reddened and tried looking.
Marion looked at his son and could see his eyes were still red. He smiled up at him and chuckled in good-nature, feeling sleep dissipate from him. Standing on his feet may have been rough, but getting to see Chris made it better. And well, there was no doubt that finally being off his feet--even if he was on his back now--was very comfortable. "Hey,"
Chris didn't reply, instead he just moved back to his bed, getting back on it and putting his back to the wall again. He stared at his dad who slowly got off the floor and brushed himself off.
"Want to talk Pup?" Marion asked, giving his son a gentle smile. He had practiced it in the hallway. And not just that. He had practiced what to say, how to stand, what tone he'd use, and every little detail.
And he wasn't using any of them. All the little planning over the various hours was gone, even if there was still plenty of opportunity to use them. The only thing he really used was--despite the cliché--his heart. He could see the doubt in the pup's eyes, though he wasn't entirely sure what it was about: if only because Chris wasn't actually looking at him.
Chris looked past his dad, as if expecting there to be a suitcase waiting on him. To his surprise there wasn't anything there. He stared at the hallway for a moment though, as if to make sure nothing would pop up. The only thing in the room was himself and his father. He looked back at his dad, "No...not really,"
Marion nodded and shrugged his shoulders, "Care if I sit down? I've been on my feet for about twelve hours,"
Chris watched his dad walk over and lean on a chair. As much as he didn't want to care he couldn't help but feel bad, knowing he'd been the reason his dad had been on his feet for so long. "Suit yourself," he said though, forcing a nonchalant tone as best as he could.
Marion smiled and plopped down in the chair. He let them sit in silence for a few minutes before deciding it was OK to talk, "Care to tell me what's wrong?"
Chris looked away and crossed his legs, "Nothing," he replied with a small frown, one that only grew.
"Really?"
"Yeah..."
"I don't believe that," Marion told his son, "And you don't either,"
Chris stared at the open door and knew he could probably jump over the edge of his bed and go lock himself in some other room, but it didn't seem worth the effort. As of right now it wasn't like his dad was trying to do anything to him. In fact, it just felt calm. Surely, if his dad didn't love him he wouldn't care what he did, but obviously his dad was involved in his life. The silence was soon broken by a rumbling sound. Chris covered his stomach but that didn't make the sound go away.
"Tell you what. How about we grab some food? Think that's a good plan Pup? I'm starving...I bet you are too,"
Chris stared at his dad again. Why the sudden change? His dad had had the talk set up perfectly, a fine chance to segue into how he was a terrible son. For the most part though, he was just glad the talk didn't start--didn't spoil how he felt now. At the thought though he couldn't help but wonder just how greedy he was: that he yelled at his dad, but then didn't want to be reprimanded immediately because...he felt relieved to see his dad. It wasn't fair to the older wolf. But even with all those thoughts he only managed to say one thing. "Fine..." he muttered.
Marion smiled and stood up with a groan, "We'll go out to that Taco Shack...it's open late,"
"Why?" Chris asked, not enjoying the prospect of leaving the house.
Marion looked back at his son, "I'm hungry and it's open late...would you like to go somewhere else?" he asked, trying his best to run through the locations that would be open at this hour--there were still plenty of options.
Chris couldn't help but imagine his father letting him get out of the car and then locking the door and driving away without him. What if that was his dad's plan? Did his dad just play happy and cool so he could lure him into a false sense of safety?
That idea was shot down. Sleeping through the day had helped him quite a bit and the irrational--and in most cases purely crazy--ideas weren't quite as bad anymore. Still, he didn't reply for about a minute. He managed to get to his feet and went to get his shoes, he'd trust his dad.
"Don't worry bout it Pup...we'll go through the drive-thru...OK?"
Well, that meant for sure the wolf couldn't lock him out of the car at least. Chris nodded and moved over to his father's side. It was strange, his dad was staring gently at him the entire time, never showing anything but content besides a bit of tiredness from standing outside his door for the past so-many-hours. He never moved faster or slower than the larger wolf and hated to admit how comfortable he felt next to him. He even wanted to just lean over and rest next to his father--but he felt like it would've only been fair if in response his father did what the door had done: let him fall.
Marion grabbed the keys off the wall and looked down at the pup, "Want to give driving a try?" he asked, not sure where the question came from.
Chris felt his ears perk and he nearly jumped.
Marion smiled and knew he had the wolf's attention now, "Come-on," he said and let the keys drop down, "I trust you,"
Chris just barely caught the keys and stared at them for a few moments.
Marion opened the door and walked outside and turned around to wait for the wolf.
Chris stared at his father. Now his dad couldn't lock him out of the house either, seeing as he had the keys to the car and the house. Why am I still thinking about that? He's not going to kick me out... he thought to himself, though a part of him still didn't believe the logic. After a second Chris stepped out on the first stair and walked down to the car with his dad.
The short walk to the car seemed to take quite sometime--the only time it had seemed longer was his first time leaving his old house. This was a different feeling though. He was scared for sure. His paw shook a little as he unlocked the door, and more so as he fumbled about to adjust the seat so he could actually get out on the road.
"OK...Now...just turn the key," Marion told his son when they were in the car. He buckled up and watched his son carefully. The car jumped to life and the engine began to rattle. Trying not to be too quick or too startling, Marion reached over and took his son's paw off the keys.
Chris jumped away from the ignition when his father's paw came into view.
"Once it starts you don't have to keep turning," he said, wondering just how terrible of an idea this was now. Give your son the keys Marion. He's not emotional right now Marion. It'll be a bonding moment Marion. He's watched you drive all these years, he'll know how to do it Marion....Oh God what am I doing?
"O--OK," Chris sputtered, mimicking the car itself.
"OK...put your foot on the brake," Marion suggested, calming the own doubts in his mind for only a moment before the sound of tires running against the ground began to fill up the air around them.
Chris winced and instead of pulling off the acceleration he slammed his foot down on it. This was sure to wake up the neighborhood. For a few seconds he had his foot all the way down and quickly took it off once he was in control of himself again.
Marion couldn't help but chuckle nervously, "T--That was the accelerator," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat and remembering just how terrible his own time learning to drive had been. A quick prayer that it was just a fluke seemed in order, that the pup had actually gotten Nancy's skills behind the wheel and not his own.
Chris nodded wide-eyed and was glad his dad always pulled up the parking brake, otherwise he didn't know what would've just happened to them. He might have just been able to add a big window to their house--using the car to knock out the walls.
"OK...the brake is on the other side..." Marion told his son and couldn't help but brace himself. Thankfully the younger wolf got it right and nothing happened. "OK...now you just put down the parking brake," he said, but was beginning to wonder about the wisdom of his actions. Was letting an emotionally distraught pup drive for the first time the best idea? Then again--it was really quite late, so they should be fine, well, at least in terms of not hitting anyone on the road. _Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God....._Marion repeated the chant over a few times in his mind--asking for forgiveness and perhaps a bit of divine knowledge about how to teach the pup how to drive.
Chris nodded and did as he was told.
"Now put us in reverse...or neutral...since we're on an incline,"
"O--OK," Chris replied and went to neutral so that if he hit the gas he wouldn't send them to their deaths--with as much haste that is. But everything should be fine--after all his dad was so calm about the entire thing.
"Get ready to take your foot off the brake...look back and make sure you're ready," Marion said, practicing a breathing exercise.
Chris did as he was told and took in a deep breath, "OK...I'm ready,"
"Take your foot off now,"
Chris did so and jumped a little when the car began to roll backwards. He pulled to the left and the car didn't correct the way he wanted it to. Thankfully he hadn't moved his foot too far and he slammed it back on the brake.
Marion grunted as his son slammed the brake and already knew what he'd done wrong, "It's like a mirror Chris...turn left is right and right is left...because we're going backwards," he said as gently as he could. Another part of him began to wonder if letting his son drive was the best method to get on his good side seeing as it was fraying both their nerves in an entirely new way.
"O...K,"
"And very tiny adjustments are all you need," Marion advised with a small gasp when the brakes stopped supporting them again.
Chris could feel his heart beating roughly in his chest and he managed to get out of the drive way and stopped in the road. He let out a relieved sigh, but jumped in his seat when a horn began to blare. It took him a moment to realize that it wasn't his own horn, but was coming from behind them. A car moved up behind him and after a second began to blare its horn incessantly. Before he could move forward--not that he'd put the car in drive yet--there was a lot of yelling, though not from either driver.
"Hey! Honk that horn again and see what happens you snot-faced moron!" Marion yelled at the other car, sticking his torso out the window.
Chris couldn't make out what was said from the other driver, but apparently it was enough to get a growl from his father. From the rearview he noticed it was a cheetah, and that they made a flipped his father off. He thought he heard something about 'terrible driving' being yelled, though that might've been his own mind.
"Yeah I'm talking to you Asshole! Say something again and see if I don't rip your fucking head off!" Marion barked and motioned for them to go around. He didn't hold back shooting his most venomous glare or gesture while they passed by them, nor did the other driver.
Chris stared at his father and as soon as he was back inside the window acted like he hadn't heard a thing, instead snapping his head dead-center. He had though. He couldn't forget that--he'd never heard his father cuss; at least not in that nature. Sure, perhaps if his dad stubbed his foot against the counter he might mutter a word, but he always smiled in good-nature before telling him he was sorry and needed to watch his language.
"That was just rude of them," Marion told his son with a smile as if he hadn't been the one to blow up at the furs. The yelling of his own accord, he thought, showed that he was still rather upset too. Upset was an understatement. He wasn't angry, but to say he felt as calm and fine as normal was an utter lie. He had nothing but patience for Chris and Ben. But if another fur got in his way or theirs he wasn't quite sure any kindness would come out of him. It was mostly just unfortunate for the other car, that they had to be the object of his emotions for now. "OK...now you'll want to go into drive...the first one,"
"What do the others do?" Chris asked, having never seen his father go to a D3 or D2 as they were labeled.
"Moves power and control to other tires kind of...but you don't have to worry about those--I'll tell you about them later, OK? In the city we won't be using them,"
"O--OK," Chris said and did as directed. He let his foot off the brake and they began to crawl forward.
"Now very slowly pu--" Marion was saying and was forced back as his son rocketed the car forward for a bit only to slam the brakes--the seatbelt helping him to not fly forward too much though he was sure he might have a headache by the end of the night, or at least a case of whiplash. Luckily he kept some aspirin in the glove compartment; he might just have to take some.
Chris clutched onto the wheel and grimaced, waiting for the barrage of reprimandations to come flying at him. They never did. Even in a normal situation they wouldn't have come flying at him, his dad never reprimanded him callously, so why was he expecting it so much now? He slowly opened his screwed-shut eyes, knowing that clamping them shut while driving wasn't exactly the best method of dealing with unexpected problems on the road.
Marion sat still for a moment and chuckled, "Not bad...at least you know where the brakes are, and that is the most important part,"
For the next twenty minutes his father directed him and dealt with his sudden stops, lead foot accelerations, and even his mistaking the parking brake as a substitute for the one next to the accelerator. That last one had been a moment of true panic though; well, at least for him. The light had been about to turn red, it was yellow, so he reached for the brake and pulled it--making a very interesting stop.
It should've been a ten or less minute drive, but Chris found that the act of steering, though it seemed so simple, was surprisingly terrifying. All it took were minor adjustments--the car seemed to naturally drift left or right without an indication of how it was going to play with the driver's mind next. When his dad drove it seemed like the car moved in a straight line--he'd never realized the minor adjustments that would have to be made. He didn't dare touch the accelerator as they went through the drive-thru, guessing it'd be better to not crash into a building. After they ordered and got their food his father directed him to park, but in the lot across from the restaurant, where it was deserted.
The smell of the food filled the air and Chris wanted to grab and take a bite but he wasn't sure what his dad's plan was yet, and for some reason he was still cautious. At first he'd felt better, but he didn't right now. Happily it wasn't about his outburst anymore--now all his concerns were on driving. He was sweating like he'd run a mile; it would get better after the first time he hoped. At the moment he was considering the option of just paying for a taxi to take him everywhere he'd ever need.
Still, they sat in silence for a minute--the wrapping of the food crinkling a bit as Marion shifted in his seat, leaning it back a bit.
"I'm sorry Chris,"
There it was. The talk. There was no doubt this had all been in his dad's plan. Still, those weren't the words he'd expected.
"I...should've known better than to force any of this on you. I didn't mean to try and replace Nancy...she was one of a kind," Marion said and gave a chuckle, "She was certainly one of a kind,"
Suddenly the food didn't hold the previous appeal at the mention of his mother. His stomach did a flip, not a pleasant one either. He was glad the car was off because he had his foot nearly slammed onto the accelerator.
"I could never replace her, and I will never forget her either," Marion told his son, deciding to address that as the topic first off, "Nancy...she meant a lot to me, please never think she didn't Chris; I just wish I'd been in the life you two shared...before she was taken,"
Chris bit the inside of his cheek and looked at the dashboard, not bothering to talk. He knew his father meant it but whenever his mom was mentioned he shelled up a bit, even if it was comforting to hear such things. He knew he'd been rude to accuse his father of forgetting about his mom and no longer caring--it hadn't been just rude; it had been wrong.
But there was nothing to make it be dulled. He missed her. He couldn't blame her for leaving him, there was nothing to take the brunt of the pain aside from his own self. The doctors--he'd tried blaming them; hating them, but it hadn't ever worked. Hating others and blaming them didn't make him feel better, and it didn't make him think back on his mom with a smile.
But he'd still blamed his dad, even if just for an instant. He let all the things that bottled up over time come loose--things that were wrong, rude, ignorant, and anything but good.
"You know I love you Chris,"
That wasn't a question. Chris side glanced at his father and could see his dad smiling at him.
"I haven't been happier since you came in my life," Marion told him with a chuckle, "I mean, you introduced me to so many new things....you're my family and one of the most precious people in my heart,"
Chris winced at the words because he knew that his dad meant them; which only made his previous yelling accusations feel worse. It was hard to believe he'd accused his dad of being neglectful when he knew it wasn't true. But...with Ben it had just seemed like he might get pushed to the side--he didn't want that.
"And though I didn't know about you before Chris...I know now and I'm trying my best to make up for it all--even if I can never truly repay that kind of debt. It--it was stupid of Nancy to hide us from one another...I wish she hadn't because since you came here I've had a family again--something that was, before, not possible,"
The words were true and slightly mending but he didn't know why he should feel better. Now it felt like he'd be better off to wallow in a bit of sadness, as if to show he hadn't meant to insult his father--or to insult Ben.
"And....I'm sorry again..." Marion said, scratching at a spot on his neck and letting out an exasperated sigh, "Really...I know I haven't been the best dad. I won't lie and tell you that I'm not absolutely terrified sometimes...I want the absolute best for you Chris, but I don't know how to go about that all the time. I-I mean, sure I would like to think I've gotten better since back then, but.......I still want to do so much for you,"
Chris looked over at the wolf, but looked away after another moment and into the mirror. He focused on himself for a bit, before focusing on his dad again. It seemed easier to look at him through the mirror--like that might make it so his emotions didn't get through. He'd been a fool, so why was his dad sorry?
"I've had to pick up a lot of this stuff on the fly--as I'm sure you could tell by our first year and half my attempts at buying you clothes or cooking or...heheh....anything really. I try though...I try my hardest everyday a--" Marion started before stopping and looking away himself. He didn't have to say those things; not when he knew the pup already felt bad about insulting him. "I know I make mistakes Chris...that there are times when I should be able to just tell something is off, or that I'm supposed to know what to do every time..."
"Y--You don't have to Dad...I know...you're not perfect," Chris mumbled, wondering what exactly he was supposed to say. Was he supposed to tell his dad how he felt? That in his eyes the wolf was everything he wanted to be, that he made him feel safe, that even though he realized his dad could be odd and weird at times he loved those times. He liked it when his dad would stumble over words to try and find what to say, or when he'd backpedal to try and say the same thing more effectively. He knew his dad had character flaws, but he enjoyed those too. Even when his dad messed up, he was still--as cliché as it might be--a hero in his eyes.
The first actual words--that's what they seemed like. Marion smiled at the pup before continuing, "I'm glad...I--uhh...I think I make it rather obvious at times. But...Chris, I will always try to do what's best for you. And I will try to know what is best, but...try as I might...I could spend all the hours of the night up in thought--and I do at times--but that doesn't mean I'll be able to tell what's on your mind every time. Especially in some matters...."
"I want you to like Ben...I won't lie. I want things to work out perfectly...and because of that I may have blinded myself a little.....I'm still a normal fur, with my own set of problems--of which Chris you are never one...so never think that again, OK?"
Chris managed a small nod.
"I love you Chris, and there is nothing you can say that will ever change that, I hope you know that. I'll try my best...but I want you to come to me too. If I mess up...if I'm not being the best I can be...you can call me out on it; tell me to stop, tell me to slow down, or to just change everything....I'm always going to be there for you Chris,"
Chris let the words sink in, though not entirely yet. He wasn't sure how long it would take for them to sink in either. The entire night? A day? A week? He couldn't dwell on the matter as a taco was shoved under his nose.
"That's all I have to say on that Chris...I love you no one will ever change that--you're the most important person in my life," Marion told his son with a smile, glad he'd finally caught his eye now; even if it'd been with the immediate temptation of food.
It was slightly funny that his father said it while letting a taco be their peace offering. The pup couldn't help a small chuckle as he reached out to take the taco, a smile fighting against the frown he'd forced on his muzzle. It was more than strange how it felt, but it was nice and warm again. "Promise?"
"I swear," Marion replied with a chuckle. "Me and you,"
The words were a refuge for him--for both of them. Chris knew it wasn't fair to hog his father, and he didn't want to be greedy; he just wanted to be important in his dad's eyes always.