A Story About Spike, The Possessed Emu Who Lives On The Muddy Banks Of The Wishkah
Spike felt the anger of the ghost inside him start to overflow.
"What do you mean you won't marry me?" he yelled at Selene. "What have I done to make you think I'm not worthy?"
"You just haven't accomplished anything yet in your life, Spike. That, and you're possessed by an evil spirit."
Spike stood up, almost knocking the table and their dinner over. Did she not know there was nothing he could do to get rid of the spirit? Did she not love him for what he was and not what he'd done? He was sick of this. The same thing every time. Spike couldn't stand it any longer. He walked out of the restaurant and left Selene there to pay the bill.
"The consequences of falling in love with an emu that's possessed by an evil spirit" she said to herself as she took out her wallet.
Later that night Spike lay on his bed listening to heavy metal and thinking about Selene. She loved him, and he knew it. They were meant to be, true loves, soul mates, all that crap. So why wouldn't she say yes? "You just haven't accomplished anything yet in your life, Spike" he heard her say. Spike looked over at his desk and at the piles of worthless plans of world domination. A breeze blew in his window from off the Wishkah and a paper was blown off his desk and landed lightly in the trash can.
"It's all this damned evil spirit's fault" he said, "If it wasn't for him, we'd already be married."
Spike tried to remember his life without the demon in it. He couldn't. It was like he was born possessed, and if that was so, he was doomed to die possessed as well. He wondered what he had done to be possessed, and just like the prior thought, could not remember.
Outside his window, a shooting star streaked across the sky. Spike wished upon it that he could accomplish something and his possessor would go away. He rolled on his side facing the wall, closed his eyes, and tried to go to sleep.
Suddenly, the paper lying in the trash can burst into flames. Licks of fire jumped from the can onto the floor. The rug caught on fire, and as if his bedroom had been doused with gasoline, his room was completely on fire within seconds, transformed into a fiery inferno. So this is what I get for trying, thought Spike. He closed his eyes and waited for death. But death didn't come.
After a while, Spike started to wonder why he hadn't burned to death yet. He slowly opened his eyes and was surprised to find the demon seat of Hell, the Devil Duckie, standing in the middle of the fire that had engulfed his room. He stared speechless at the unholy duck. He then realized he was no longer on his bed in his room but in the fiery depths of Hell. The Devil Duckie started laughing in a queer sort of voice as he remembered what he had wished for earlier that night.
"Okay" said the Devil Duckie his voice echoing through the cavernous abyss that had moments ago been his home, "let's get on with this. I have an appointment in five minutes. Here's the deal, k? I'll expel the malevolent spirit and give you what you need to achieve your goals, and so on and so forth. But in return, I get your soul and I get to marry Selene."
"Well that sounds like a lousy deal." said Spike," Why would I let you have Selene just so you can help me do something I already can do without your help?"
"Think about it, you find soon enough I get what I want" said the Devil Duckie with an evil grin, and then everything turned dark.
Spike woke up the next morning to find that his room had not burned, and a horrible storm had blown in over night. He must have drank much more than he thought at the time last night. That was one crazy dream. He could have even sworn he still smelled a faint sulfuric smoky smell lingering on the air. Maybe I should call Selene, thought Spike, make sure everything was all right.
"No," said a voice in his head, sounding strangely similar to the voice of the evil Devil he encountered in his dreams the night before, "she probably went home with some guy, stupid emu."
"Whoa. Where did that come from?" he asked himself. That couldn't have been the spirit that possessed him. No matter how evil that spirit was, it never thought badly of Selene. He felt like he had been run over by and eighteen-wheeler.
"What exactly happened last night?" he questioned himself.
Dax, Selene, and the rest of Hell's Emus (their motorcycle gang) met for lunch at the local Hard Rock Café.
"Have you talked to Spike lately?" Dax asked Selene. "I went to his house last night, but no one was there. He's usually home at 2 am."
"Well, I turned him down again last night at dinner, but he got home before 2am. I called him this morning, but no one answered." replied Selene.
"Hey! Let's go over to his house right now!" said Dax. Selene and Dax decided to go over to his house and leave the rest to their lunch.
After parking their Harley's in the driveway, Dax and Selene went up to Spike's front door and rang the doorbell. A few minutes later, Spike came to the door looking like he hadn't slept for weeks.
"Whadaya want?!" he yelled at them.
"Well, we just came by to..." Dax started to say.
"Go away!!" screamed Spike and slammed the door in their faces.
"What was that for?" asked Selene.
Dax shrugged. They left Spike's house together in silence, both wondering what was wrong with their friend.
"What was that for?" Spike asked himself. He had no clue what had been happening to him that day. He first thought it was just a bad day, or an influence of his 'inner demon,' but neither of those really explained it.
He reached for the doorknob to open the door and apologize for his actions, but suddenly he couldn't move his hand. It had a mind of its own.
"What is happening to me!?"
The room suddenly caught on fire.
"Oh, not again" Spike said. He watched his precious guitars catch on fire and burn. Since he knew he was safe, he looked at the smoke curl around his feet and took a strange pleasure in watching his living room transform into Hell. There was an explosion of glowing ashes, and then the Devil Duckie was standing in the middle of the demonic room.
"Have you come to a decision, Spike?" he asked.
"No, I haven't yet" replied Spike.
"Oh good, I came up with a decision for you" A piece of paper suddenly appeared in his left hand and a red pen in his right. He tried to drop the pen and paper but he couldn't.
"Oh my God, you've taken over my body!" exclaimed Spike. "That's why I've been doing and saying those things to my friends!"
"Good job Spike. I'm proud of you. And now you're not gonna have any friends 'cause you made a deal with the Devil."
Spike's hand moved by itself and positioned itself over the paper to sign the deal. Right then, the spirit that possessed Spike overtook him. He ripped up the paper and ate the shredded pieces of paper. He threw down the pen and it burst into flames. Spike looked up and saw an angered grimace on the Devil Duckie's face, and then, like before, everything faded into darkness.
The next thing Spike was aware of is that it was several minutes before the time we entered this story. He picked up his glass and took a drink. He set it down and looked into Selene's beautiful, glittering eyes.
"I love you" he told her. Selene smiled and said.
"I love you too, Spike." He stood up, walked over to her, got down on one knee and said "Selene, will you marry me?"
She looked slightly hurt and answered "I'm sorry Spike, but I told you before, not yet."
Spike felt the anger of the ghost inside him start to overflow.
"What do you mean you won't marry me?" he yelled at Selene...