Keeping Secrets
Author Comments: This is my first ever finished story. Like all my work, I'm none too proud of it, but I uploaded it due to requests from a friend. May continue it, maybe not, depends on the response it gets I guess. At any rate, hope you enjoy it.
"Hey, wait up!" Nate shouted through the hall. He sped up to catch Matt before he walked out the door.
"Oh hey Nate! I thought you left already." Matt rubbed the back of his head and smiled lazily.
"Of course not silly, I was talking to Lily." Lily was Nate's popular, cheerleader, gorgeous, perfect girlfriend. Nate smiled back and grabbed Matt's paw, dragging him back down the hall. "Wait with me at my locker, kay? I've gotta get a few books."
"Sure thing..." Matt drifted off as he was drug through the hall. He was only paying attention now to Nate's embrace on his paw, almost like they were holding hands. He felt so warm and welcoming, but Matt knew it was wrong for him to be thinking this about his friend. He quickly pulled himself back to reality before his thoughts got any more intimate. He stood for a minute by Nate at his locker while he searched for his books and papers. Nate was a slender fox, his fur ranging in color from a burnt sienna to a neon orange, and his ears fading to a beautiful tar black at the tips. He stood about five and a half feet tall and couldn't have weighed more than a hundred and twenty pounds. He didn't have much muscle on him, but there was no fat either, just a nice petite little body.
Matt had a decent body himself, although typical of most huskies in his school. He was slightly muscled, and stood at almost six feet tall. His fur was very unique, being a brigh silver color that faded into a stunning light purple from his shoulders down his arms, his tail, his face, and his belly.
"So, I was thinking, how'd you like to spend the night at my house tonight? We could play some Killer Instinct and shoot some pool and whatnot." Nate was packing his things into his bag now.
"Uh, sure, but I don't have any stuff, and thanks to you I don't have a ride home to get anything. And isn't Killer Instinct like ancient?"
"That's fine, my mom can give you a ride I'm sure, and I've got a spare matress. As for clothing, you'll either have to try some of my clothes on, or sleep in the nude." Nate laughed as he wrapped an arm around Matt's shoulder and they approached his mom's car. Matt however blused deeply under his silver fur at the mention of being seen nude by his friend. "And just for your information, KI's a classic." They made their way into the silver car and Nate made sure Matt could get a ride with them and spend the night. Once his mom agreed they were on their way to Nate's, which was only a few minutes away from their school.
The car ride was a quiet one, but once they arrived the two took off to Nate's room in a flash and immediately began chattering away. Nate plugged in the old SNES and started up the game. They picked their characters, Cinder for Nate and Glacius for Matt. They fought each other for an hour straight, the conversation ranging from teachers to student gossip to their plans for the summer, when finally Matt grew tired of it.
"Hey, what else you got to do here? This is getting repetitive." Matt set the controller down and walked around the room staring at various things.
"Well, we can shoot a few games of pool, go get soemthin to eat, watch a movie..."
"Let's watch some movies! Which ones ya got?"
"Uhh..." Nate flipped through a stack of discs looking for something good. "Wanna watch Pirates?" he said, holding up a dvd.
"Yeah sure!" Matt sat there as Nate popped in the disc. He found himself staring intently at his friend's ass as he bent over and his mind began to drift back to those thoughts of being alone and initmate with Nate. He quickly snapped out of it however as Nate turned around and gave him a quick look, before shaking his head and getting things back on subject.
"Hey man, you hungry? I've got some snacks downstairs if ya want."
"Uh, yeah. Want me to come with you to help carry stuff?"
"Naw, that'll be fine, just stay here. I'll be back in a bit." And with that, Nate was on his way downstairs, leaving Matt alone in the room. He looked around a bit before he found his mind starting to return to thoughts of his fox friend. It was only recently that Matt had realized that he was gay, but he still wasn't at terms with himself about it. He kept telling himself it was wrong to think this way about other guys, yet he still couldn't stop himself from doing it. He knew as well that nothing would ever be the same if he accepted it and other people found out about it. Everything about it seemed so wrong, and he hated himself for it. He couldn't handle the fact that he was increasingly fantasizing about these guys, to the point where he was now even having dreams about them. He just wanted things to go back to how they were, where he could look at a guy and look at him for nothing more than that. Back before when he could hang around his friend without feeling awkward. He wanted to just be able to stop loving him. Deep down, however, his real desire was just for Nate to love him back...
Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a bag of Doritos thrown in his face. "Hey! What was that for?!"
"You looked like a zombie or somethin'. Making sure you were still awake!" He flashed a smile before hopping on his bed and opening another bag of chips. The movie began and they chowed down on the snacks for an hour or so before they began to get tired. They layed down and chatted about quizzical things for a bit before they both faded into their sleep...
...Nate walked into his room with nothing but a thin silk robe on and smiled at Matt, who was laying down Nate's bed, covered only by a sheet draped over his hips. Nate began walking seductively towards Matt, slowly allowing the robe to slide off his smooth body. He stood a foot or so away from Matt, and ran a paw down his chest and towards his groin. The sheet over him did little to hide Matt's arousal and Nate noticed this, moving towards it. He pulled the sheets back and smiled as he focused his attention now to Matt's face. He looked at Matt passionately before leaning overtop of him and moving his muzzle towards his friend's. He puckered his lips and leaned in, inches away from kissing him, but instead Matt felt a harsh paw thud against the side of his head. He looked at Nate, dumbstruck by his action. All Nate did was land a few more punches to Matt's stomach before walking to his doorway. He turned around and looked back at Matt. 'You faggot. I never want to see your face again.' With those last words he walked out of the room, leaving Matt doubled over on Nate's bed, blood beginning to drip from the side of his face...
Matt jolted up from his slumber with tears streaming down his face. It was pitch black around him and everything was thick and silent. He sat there in the silence and just let himself cry, trying not to make too much noise. All he could do was hate himself. Hate himself for feeling like that about his friend. Hate himself for keeping his true feelings secret from him. Hate himself for being gay. Hate himself for...well...being himself. Silently he sat, arms wrapped around his knees and head in his arms, tears staining his usually bright and cheerful face, for around ten minutes straight, before he heard a noise beside him. It was then he realized he had been crying audibly, too upset to hold back his sobs. His friend rolled over and looked at the miserable heap of fur on the mattress beside him. Matt however was too absorbed into his crying to look up.
"M-matt...?" Nate rubbed his eyes and blinked, trying to adjust to the dark. "Are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?" Nate was still halfway asleep and it obviously helped none to have woken up at who-knows-when to the sound and sight of your best friend in the world crying like a worthless nobody beside you. Matt tried to say something between his gasps for air but nothing came out. Nate moved over beside him and groggily wrapped an arm around Matt's shoulder, only to be smacked away and thrown backwards against his bed.
"Don't touch me!" Matt shouted as he smacked his friend away. Mere seconds later his entire expression changed. He looked up at Nate, his face now shocked and devastated. His eyes quivered pleadingly as he looked at his friend, as if to say I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean that...
Before Nate even had a chance to respond and let him know he was forgiven, Matt broke down again. He went back into his hysterical crying and turned his back to Nate. He couldn't even bear to look anywhere near him, too ashamed of what he had done. They sat there for about twenty minutes before Nate felt Matt had calmed down enough to talk to.
"Matt...what's wrong? I'm your best friend, I have been for almost ten years, you should know by now that I'm here for you. No matter what it is, I'm here for you. Please tell me."
"I'm so sorry Nate. For what I did, for what I've thought, and for treating you like that when you were trying to help me. I'm such a terrible person..."
"Matt, it's fine. None of it ever even phased me. I just want to know what's wrong. I don't think I've ever even seen you cry before. Please...just tell me what's wrong." When Matt looked up into those adorable pleading eyes, he couldn't take it anymore. The time had come now to confess. He just couldn't keep it pent up inside him any more.
"Nate...I think I'm...well..." Matt swallowed back his pain and his tears once more, to let out the four words he dreaded to even hear himself say... "I think I'm gay." He immediately flinched and hid his face from Nate, remembering the events of his dream. However, it was Nate who looked like he had been punched in the gut. His expression turned to pure shock as he just sat there, staring at his friend. Matt timidly turned his face to look back at Nate, wondering now if telling him was the right choice. Nate still couldn't say anything to him however, even though deep down he was alright with it. Matt however could do nothing more, he just sat there in the dark and stared at Nate's face in the moonlight, hoping for some form of approval. A few minutes passed before he got it.
"I...I don't know what to say..." Nate stared into Matt's eyes with a suddenly puzzled look. "Why would you even think that? Are you sure?"
"Well for one, I...well...I think I have a crush on you." It still hurt for him to say all of this out loud, but at the same time it felt so much better to not have to hide it inside himself any more.
"You...have a crush on me?" Nate blushed. "So I'm guessing you aren't attracted to any girls then, right?"
"Yeah..." Matt felt ashamed to say these things but there was nothing he could do to change who he was. "I hate myself right now. It feels so wrong, and I just wish I could change things to normal like they used to be." He looked down into his lap again. "Are we...are we still cool? I mean...I really don't want this to change our friendship..."
"Yeah, of course! You should know me better than that! Just because I didn't say anything at first doesn't mean I'm not okay with it. I was just sorta...shocked. I really didn't see this coming. But we're definitely still cool. It won't change a thing, I promise. I'll be here for you the whole way." Matt looked into his friend's eyes. His expression was sincere, and caring. He could tell just by looking at his face that he meant it.
"Thank you so much Nate, you don't know how much I've wanted to hear you say that!" He suddenly beamed a little and hugged Nate tightly, before pulling back and blushing. "Oh...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to do that..." His eyes wandered back to the floor.
"It's fine, just as long as you keep in mind I'm not gay." Nate smiled at him and hugged him back. "So you feeling better now?" Matt wiped the last few tears from his fur and smiled.
"Yeah, I think I'll be fine now. I feel a lot better getting that off my chest." He yawned. "I'm exhausted now though. Hope you don't mind me going back to sleep already." He laughed.
"Already? Awwww...and we were having such a great moment too!" He laughed back at him. "Guess I should get back to bed now too, we can talk about this tomorrow." He looked at his clock, seeing it was a little past two o' clock. "Er...later today. That is, if you want to."
"We'll see..." Matt let out another long yawn. "Goodnight Nate."
"Night Matt..." Nate got back on his bed and rolled over, drifting off to sleep.