FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"I like you."

DAMMIT!

He just couldn't bring himself to actually do it.

"Come on, you stupid whale, get a grip! You did it with Garrett, you can do it again, right?"

Over the past three weeks, the band was growing closer together as they found their sound, wrote four songs, and became good friends with each other. To the good luck of Thelen, Max and he became rather good friends. The problem was that even though Thelen did what he could to get some signals, he still couldn't get a good read on the gator. Max gave little to no evidence to his orientation or anything even closely related. The last thing Thelen wanted was for the band to really take off and then lose Max because he asked him out. Even worse, he didn't want the others to blame him for losing Max, then giving him the boot as well. He felt like he had been given some truly great friends in this, so he didn't want to lose them.

"You're going to have to tell him eventually, kiddo."

Thelen's dad was standing in the doorway, having witnessed his son fighting a losing battle against his emotions. At the words, Thelen's head dropped. He sat on his bed and looked at the floor, sadness across his whole body.

"It can never be easy, can it?" Thelen said, letting out a halfhearted chuckle. "I don't even have a clue to whether he likes me back, and I don't know what I'd do if we lost him."

"Are you sure?" his dad replied, pulling up the desk chair and sitting down. "Do you think you've already learned enough about him to make that leap to asking him out?"

"I can't say I've learned too much, we haven't even known each other for a full month. But still, I feel really good about this."

"And how does Garrett feel about this?"

At that, the orca froze. He hadn't thought about him. Would he be jealous? Would he get angry at the sight and leave them? Sure, they parted on good terms, but considering he was Thelen's first love, and they both still were best friends, he got even more nervous.

Then, it came to him. If Garrett was really his friend, he would have his back with a new boyfriend. Besides, if Garrett and Thelen didn't want to be a couple, then why couldn't he have the freedom to seek elsewhere?

"It'll be okay. I'll talk with him about it."

Thelen then stood up and looked out the window, drifting deeper into thought. Before he could completely drift away from the conversation, his dad pulled his mind back.

"Do you even know if Max swing's your way yet?"

"I don't have a clue," Thelen said. "He hasn't given me hints for either side as of yet, so I'm still very hopeful."

"Then I suppose you're just going to have to seduce the bastard, eh?"

"What?"

He couldn't believe what his dad had just said. Does he seriously believe that it would work? His dad's face didn't have any hint of sarcasm to it, so Thelen was baffled.

"If you think he's worth keeping, and you like him so much, go get him. I was in the same boat with Mom, and if I hadn't done what I did that day on the cruise, I would've lost her too."

The both of them remained silent for a few seconds before Thelen broke the silence.

"Okay."

"That's my boy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The band's Furbook page had already begun blowing up. 700 likes, and it hadn't even been a month yet! It took Thelen a bit to realize that the previous success of some of their old bands was probably the reason. Apparently, DJ's old band had around 2,000 likes, so that small bit of fame was helping them even more too. Even better yet, Garrett had set up our first show as well. Thelen swore, if they didn't get big from the band, that the Machoke could easily make a living in band management. The show would be two weeks away at a venue twenty miles out, with Helios Awaken opening for some small town death metal bands and the local prog favorites, Jubileus. Thelen had seen them live before, and he was going to greatly enjoy playing in the same night as them.

The next two weeks held a level of anxious tension similar to army squad in training. Their date to begin was fast approaching, and the two weeks were devoted to making their performance absolutely flawless. Four songs and one cover (They decided to do a metal cover of Jimmy Eat World's "Sweetness", since Nat's voice went very well with the chorus), a 25-minute set of pure, unadulterated chaos.

Two days before the show, Thelen had decided it was now or never. He invited Max to grab dinner with him and to talk. Max agreed happily, and they set off for a burger joint a couple miles north of them. Nothing too fancy, just a good place where he could start.

They both had something in common Thelen loved: singing in the car. They both were just wailing along to whatever came on from Max's radio, whether it was ska, metal, or even some electronica. Thelen couldn't help but admire the gator's love for all sorts of music. He had a great background to his musical ideals, and it showed in the way he performed.

"Alright, we're here!" Max shouted, quickly getting out of the car.

It was a local franchise called the Big Ol' Burger, which tried to emphasize the classic diner feel while serving up ridiculously cheap burgers. Thelen loved the place and talked about it frequently to Max, who had never had the pleasure of eating there. Needless to say, after the hype the orca had instilled into his head, he needed to try it more and more.

Thelen ordered his usual, two triple burgers with cheese, fries, and a large Pibb. Max, following the fold, ordered one triple with fries and water.

As Max took a bite, Thelen stopped and took the time to appreciate the look of ecstasy on Max's face. It was priceless, like a rush of pleasure went down the gator's spine.

"Told you, it was like sex." The orca blurted with a wide grin.

All Max could do was nod. He was too busy enjoying the meal!

After their food and some lighthearted conversation, the two headed back into the car. Thelen started feeling that "now or never" urge, and heard himself blurt out those words.

"I like you."

It was as if time stood still in his mind. In the three seconds of silence following, he bashed himself for saying it so bluntly, mentally cried tears of rage, and then shushed himself to hear the response.

"I'm sorry?"

"I.... like you."

Thelen's head immediately dropped as he started speaking of how he had had a crush on him since they met, his feelings towards him, and how it's only grown over the time together. Max could see tears start to well up in Thelen's eyes as he spoke.

Before Max could make a reply, the orca got out of the car and started walking away. Thelen was regretting saying anything from the get go, and he wanted to get away. He felt he saw the rejection coming.

Max reacted quickly.

"Wait! I never said no!?"

At that, the orca stopped dead in his tracks. Was he serious?

"....what?"

With a bit of silent coaxing, Max got him back into the car and then began.

"I like you too. A lot, actually."

Thelen looked up to him, still tearing a bit. "Really?"

"Definitely. You're probably the nicest guy I've ever met."

At that, Thelen started to blush, as did the gator.

"The thing is, I don't quite know if I'm over my last relationship. I don't think I'm ready."

With that, he pulled out a picture from his wallet and handed it to Thelen.

The picture had Max snuggling with a gray dragon, both laughing hysterically at something. Thelen grinned slightly at the sight, it was absolutely adorable.

"His name was Wallace," Max started. "He was my first, and my only so far. I loved him with all my heart, I legit thought we'd get married someday. He was kind, thoughtful, handsome, and everything else I could've ever wanted."

It was at this point that his eyes started welling up. Thelen knew where this was going almost immediately.

He couldn't help but mumble a soft "No..."

The gator nodded as his tears began to fall on his gray coat.

"About two years ago, we got into a bad accident in my old car. Somebody had stolen a car and was in the middle of a runaway. He ran the red light and hit us on Wallace's side."

His words started to slur as he choked down the emotion the best he could. Thelen soon began to tear up as well.

"I... lost him that night at the hospital."

Max couldn't hold it anymore. The emotion flew out of him as he lurched forward and cried into the steering wheel. Thelen, completely speechless, reached over and hugged the gator, unsure of what to say. At the same time, Thelen knew there was nothing he could say to take away the pain he knew Max was feeling. Thelen's mother had died when he was very young, so he didn't quite remember the feeling of losing a loved one. All he knew was that Max needed him now, and he would do whatever he could to stay with him.

After a few minutes, Max was able to calm down a bit. Thelen ran inside the restaurant to grab him some napkins to wipe away the tears. When he came back, Max was finally able to speak.

"Thank you, Thel. I needed that. I've been holding on to those tears for far too long."

Max's words sounded almost like he'd been cleansed, like an old wound on his heart could finally begin to heal. Thelen gave him another hug, and the two spent a minute to calm down in silence. Thelen couldn't even think of something to say, he was still in shock of what he'd heard. He couldn't believe the pain Max had gone through, het he still had held that aura of happiness about him before. Max was stronger in his heart than Thelen thought he could ever be; he's not sure if he could handle such a loss himself.

Max then broke the silence. He looked forward as he spilled his thoughts even more.

"I can't say I'm ready for a relationship yet, Thel. Wallace is still in that part of my heart. I don't know if he will ever leave, but I think that's okay. He's what pushes me forward, what makes me want to move on and be strong, for the both of us. I think he would want me to start anew with somebody else."

He then looked to Thelen,

"And I think, with that being said, if I were to start again with somebody else, I'd like nothing more than it to be you."

At that, the orca looked up, very surprised. What exactly was Max trying to say?

He didn't even get a chance to respond as Max pulled him close and locked his lips with Thelen's. The orca was surprised, but quickly melted in Max's grip, returning the kiss with equal passion. They soon broke the kiss, leaving Thelen with the chance he needed to finally speak.

"I wish there was something I could say about Wallace, but I know there's nothing that can be said. All I know is that I'll do my very best to be here for you if you want me too," the orca said, a smile forming on his face.

Max returned the smile and gave a soft, "Thank you."

With that, Max started the car and drove the two back home. Though the music continued to play, neither wanted to sing at that point; they were both still deep in thought.

As Max stopped in front of Thelen's home, he gave the orca quick hug once more.

"Thank you for everything, Thel. This night has been one of the best I've had in a long time."

The orca smiled back and nodded happily.

"No problem, Max. I'll see you at practice tomorrow, then!"

"Same! See ya!"

Thelen's father was waiting for his arrival eagerly, so when Thelen walked in, he jumped from his seat and began the interrogation.

"Soooooooo, how did it go?"

Thelen just smiled and reached for a hug from his father, one that he happily returned.

"It went great, Dad. It went great."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The building was absolutely packed. A line was going out the door and down the street for tickets to the venue, with easily 500 plus attendants for their first show.

Thelen chuckled to himself; he knew they all weren't here for their band, it was for Jubileus and the other bands mostly. Still, he felt that same rush of excitement before a show just like he used to. Helios Awaken was set to go on first, so they got a decent amount of time for sound check and such before their set. Everything was working just fine, and they all were ready to go. Travis' drum set (though he only used a 5-piece kit, the amount of cymbals around him was rather large) was perched on the riser behind them, with Nat and Thelen in the front center, DJ and Garrett off to the right, and DJ and Max's rig to the left. Though the stage wasn't the biggest, they still fit rather well.

As the lights dimmed, they formed a circle near the riser with the drums. DJ was the guy that began the pep talk.

"Okay guys, first show. We know who we are, so let's have some fun showing them just WHO WE ARE!"

A chorus of "hell yeah!" erupted from the seven, as they took their places.

Max had written the intro for their set, which incorporated both orchestral synth sounds and more of a trance-y variety of synth as it slowly escalated. Thelen could see Rory and Garrett start their bouncing as they awaited the drop to begin. Slowly, but surely, the beat rose and rose....

Right......

until......

BAM

_ _

A gunshot sample signaled the start. Travis unleashed a massive drum fill into the first song, titled "Mirages Of Sanctuary." After a solid 40 seconds of instrumentals only, Thelen got up front once again and belted out his screams as hard as possible. He'd never felt such emotion in his performance before, not even in his old band.

The set went almost too well. Everybody was cheering for them after only two songs, and the Jimmy Eat World cover sparked a HUGE applause. Everybody played their part fantastically, especially Nat, who blew all their expectations out of the water. The fox was perfect in performance, and you could barely even tell he was tired after the set. Rory's solos got tremendous applause, and Garrett did a great job of keeping the crowd amped, especially when he jumped into the crowd and strummed on his bass mid-crowd-surf. DJ's rhythm section was flawless, and he even threw some harmony vocals in when he could, which did wonders for the stage presence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the set, the band sat in the back and watched the other performances. The few metal bands that played after us were mostly average; some good talent in them, but usually poorly used. When Jubileus came on, the crowd erupted in cheers before they began their own unique onslaught of sound. It was a sight to behold. Lots of energy and melody packed into short bursts of songs, most being under three minutes in length.

As Thelen and the rest of the band left the show, many people from the audience were coming to them and congratulating them, some even wanting hugs and pictures. Thelen couldn't believe all the positive feedback they were getting, it all seemed a bit too fantastic to believe.

So, with the gear all packed up, the group drove away in their separate cars, Garrett, Rory, and DJ in one, with the rest in the other, as well as a trailer full of gear in tow.

Thelen's night ended with him and Max in the car once more, a quick hug and a goodbye from both. Thelen ran inside, had a long conversation with his dad about the performance, and ran upstairs to his laptop. Already, another 50 likes on the FurBook page, as well as somebody saying a video would be uploaded shortly.

As curious as he was, he was too tired to wait and watch it when it was uploaded. He shut the laptop, took off his sweat-drenched clothing, cleaned up, and dove into bed.

That night, as having happened many times before, was filled with dreams of the future of Helios Awaken, as well as a certain gator...