Part 3--Epilogues 1 and 2
Thus ended the weirdest and most wonderful day of my life. I was feeling fairly zombified after that; we cleaned up the changing room as best we could, got dressed, paid quickly and left quietly. We picked up my boy clothes from the locker and left the mall. I couldn't look the husky valet in the eye as he pulled Alika's car up for us to leave. She and I sat in silence during the drive home. Alika seemed pretty upset that I wasn't talking, but with everything that had happened, I was too weirded out and overwhelmed to want to chat. To be honest, I was feeling fairly ashamed as well, mortified that we had gotten caught--beyond mortified; even if we had technically gotten away with it. I changed back into boy clothes in the passenger seat--it was dark by then, and I was beyond caring if anybody saw me. As she dropped me off, Alika told me that she would hold onto my new outfits for me. I went inside as she drove away, went to my bedroom and completely zonked out, still fully dressed.
The next day at school, I tried to tell myself that yesterday hadn't happened. I felt terrible, knowing that I had screwed up big-time with the one person who really understood me. Would Alika...would Alk out me to the whole school as revenge? Seeing him in the hallway between classes was positively eerie. He was the same person, but completely different; his walk and mannerisms seemed so alien. It was then that I started to realize that it wasn't Alika's body or her clothes that made her so feminine, but her way of carrying herself, the little touches and quirks that made the illusion complete. I also noticed that her green eyes must be colored contacts--Alk's eyes are solid silver. I wanted so badly to talk to Alk, and I approached him twice in the halls, but both times he brushed right past me with a cold sneer on his face.
Despair gripped me by the throat. I couldn't concentrate on my classes, and I began to dread the inevitable whispers and rumors that were sure to propagate to everyone in school like a virus. Soon, I would be the target of bullies and jerks and mean, teasing girls, where before I had just been invisible to everybody. I was starting to miss the idea of never being noticed.
Finally, class let out, and after everyone had left, I went to sit on the stairs outside the science building--my usual spot for eating lunch, reading, and feeling sorry for myself--to think things out. After a few minutes, I heard footsteps approaching me. I knew who it was before I looked up at him. Alk stood there silently for a moment, his face unreadable. For a moment, we just stared at each other, and I was starting to wonder if I was going to get more than a slap this time when he flicked a wadded-up piece of paper at my face and walked away without saying a word.
I was angry--angry enough to go after him and force him into a confrontation, no matter what it cost me--but then I thought to uncrumple the paper.
It read:
MY SISTER'S CELL NUMBER IS:
555-867-5309
ONLY CALL AFTER 8PM
CALL HER IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU
EAT THIS NOTE
I had a pretty good idea what was good for me. I memorized the number and crumpled the paper back up and swallowed it. Paper tastes awful, and I didn't even have anything to drink.
That night, 8 o'clock couldn't come fast enough. At 7:59, I holed myself up in my bedroom and locked the door, resolved to getting yelled at by my brothers for tying up the line. After some thought, I stuffed a t-shirt into the crack under the door, hoping it would muffle the sound of our conversation.
Hearing Alika's voice on the phone was like seeing light through the clouds after a year of rain. I broke down and cried, and begged her to forgive me for freaking out on her like that. She was mad, but became somewhat more understanding when I explained to her why I had clammed up on the ride home. I told her how much fun I'd had with her, how much I enjoyed being pretty with her and being her little sister for a day...and how amazing she had made me feel at the end of it. We ended up talking for hours, and not just about our day together, but about everything; and I was amazed by how much we had in common. I got to make her laugh a few times, and for the first time I began to treasure the sound of her laughter. I finally had to go when my dad started pounding on the door, demanding I free up the phone line, but it still pained me to stop our conversation.
Minutes later, I lay on my bed with a smile on my face, allowing the memories of my day in the mall with Alika to come swirling back into my mind, reliving every terrifying, thrilling, satisfying minute. In the space of two days, my life had become a lot stranger, and immeasurably better.
Two weeks later, Alika and I began dating. Our first few dates were furtive affairs, we had to drive to the outskirts of Layleaux and go to places where we were less worried about being recognized. After a while, though, we stopped caring. After all, we were just like any other couple--a beautiful girl and a lucky guy out to spend company with each other. We talked a lot, got to know each other really well. And when we couldn't be together, we spent hours on the phone.
Summer rolled around, and things got a LOT more interesting. Somehow, I got out of having to find a job this year--my oldest brother was back from college with a fancy degree and a pregnant fiancee, which took the focus off of me for a while. Normally, I would resent it, but now I had something better to do with my time than to flip burgers or mow lawns.
My summer days settled into a blissful routine. I would get up around seven-ish, ride my bike from the 'burbs over to the nice side of town to Alika's house, make sure her mom was gone for work, then sneak inside and climb the stairs to Alika's bedroom. I'd wake her up gently, usually by taking off my clothes and slipping under the covers with her, and we'd cuddle and kiss and laugh...and other things, of course. We had already been intimate once, but making love to Alika, really making love...she was so amazing, so tender and passionate. I learned so much about myself from just being with her, so much about pleasing her and being a good, generous lover. And with my help, she learned a few things too--mainly, that her penis was good for lots more things than just ruining the line of her pantyhose. I eventually got her to begrudgingly admit that it was a handy thing to have...but all the same, that didn't change her plans of wanting to go through with becoming a full-time female someday; and I promised I would never stand in the way of her achieving that goal. Alika has a beautiful body, and I can't wait to see it when it becomes the body she's always wanted.
We'd snuggle all morning, then shower together and have a little breakfast. After that, the whole day was ours. Sometimes we'd do boring things--play games, watch movies, nap all day (hello, we're cats). Most often, though, the afternoon was dress-up time. Alika and I would pore through her collection of girls' clothes and lingerie, trying on different outfits, doing each others' headfur and makeup, and lounging around her house in slinky, sexy scanties--which never failed to make me MONSTROUSLY horny. Every so often we would have long, exhausting lovemaking sessions, the ends of which saw us collapsed against each other, in disheveled, sweat-drenched satin teddies, blissfully asleep from sheer fatigue and sharing a warm pool of sunbeam on the floor. And more than once, we awoke mere seconds before her mom would arrive home from work. One time in particular I had to throw my clothes on and dash, her mom's car pulling in the driveway just as I was screaming down the alley on my bike--four blocks later, I realized I was still wearing makeup. I had to stop at a gas station to wash it off in the bathroom. I got some strange stares when I asked for the key...
We even went out dressed a couple of times. There are a few gay bars and nightclubs in the more built-up areas of town that have drag nights, and we took advantage. We had to buy a couple of fake I.D.'s, but it was worth it--my jaw would drop to see so many crossdressing males, mingling with guys and girls of all species and persuasions, being themselves and having a raucous good time. On these nights, Alika shone like a superstar. She always seemed to have a crowd around her, and why not? I always felt she was the prettiest girl in the room, and that I was lucky to be near her. No matter how many would circle around her, she would always pull me in close, making sure that I could share at least some of the reflected glory. I got my share of come-ons too, and plenty of offers to dance. I turned them all down as politely as I could, until I got one offer I just couldn't refuse--my husky boy! By some wild coincidence, one night he had come to the the club and saw us sitting across from the bar. He asked me if I'd like to dance. I could barely speak, I was so flabbergasted--but a nudge from Alika and a firmly-whispered "go on, girly!" got me on the dancefloor with him. Soon, a slow song came on, and he held me in those big, strong arms as we crossed the floor together...I rested my head against his chest and looked back to where Alika was sitting. She gave me a big smile and saluted me with her drink. I sighed, letting out a deep breath and relaxing. This was heavenly. I was really understanding how it felt to be a girl.
At the end of the dance, the husky-boy looked down at me and gave me the softest of kisses. For a split-second, I nearly panicked--HOLY CRAP! I'm kissing a boy! A BOY boy!--but it faded quickly, and I melted into his kiss. It was an absolutely magical moment. At the end of the night, though, I was heading home with Alika. I had had my fun, and I was with the one I loved, and that's what mattered to me. (Thinking about it later, though, I realized that it hadn't actually been his cell phone digging into my hip during the slow dance.)
As mid-August approached, and it got to be that part of summer that you really can't enjoy without feeling another school year creeping up on you, I began to notice that Alika seemed somewhat melancholy. I worried that it was my fault, but she said that she didn't want to talk about it. She got more and more depressed until I finally begged her to tell me what was wrong. With tears in her eyes, she explained that she couldn't stand the idea of going back to school for another year as Alk. Being Alika with me all summer had separated her from her male identity, and she comapred putting male clothes back on and pretending to be someone she wasn't to living life in a straitjacket. She had been having nightmares about this for weeks. It was if the very idea was causing her physical pain. I held her, and we talked for hours about what we could do. At the end of the day, we decided that there was only one course of action to take, regardless of the risks.
It was time for Alika to let go of Alk, and become who she really was on a full-time basis.
This meant, first, coming out to her mom. I pleaded with Alika to let me be part of this, but she insisted it was something she needed to do on her own...that night, I paced my bedroom, imagining what emotional horrors my girl was facing and wishing like hell I could be by her side to give her strength. When my phone rang, I was out the door and on my bike before I answered it. A voice on the other end said "come over," and that's all I needed to hear. I swear I broke some land-speed records that night, my heart nearly bursting the whole time.
I met Alika's mom for the first time when I came to the door. It was obvious she had been crying for a while, and was still somewhat hysterical. I held my breath and closed my eyes, flashing back to that day at the mall, ready to accept whatever came next. When she hugged me, I was just as shocked as I would have been had she slapped me; but I was relieved all the same. As it turns out, she had figured out a long time ago that her son had a thing for dresses, and that it might not have been a phase, but she had no clue that the "phase" was Alika's attempt to become more like her inner self. I was able to hold Alika's hand as we all talked this out.
In the end, Alika's mother felt she understood the situation better. It had been a shock, and she insisted that it would take a long time for her to adjust to this new way of thinking about her child. But it was apparent that her love for Alika hadn't dimmed or changed in any way. And she was happy to know that Alika had somebody standing by her, who loved her for who she was, and was determined to help her see her plans through.
That night, Alika kissed me and held me tight on her porch. She was shaking from the emotional strain, and I wanted so badly to be able to hold her all night and kiss away her fears. Even after all our confessions, though, it wouldn't have been right; and starting from this day forward we knew we had to stop keeping our relationship a secret if we wanted to keep her mother's trust. It had started to rain just a little bit, and she wanted to drive me home, but I insisted on riding my bike. I wanted to think about what had happened tonight, and about what was coming next for us. All the way home, I started thinking about how different this first day back at school was going to be.
Alika and I get out of her car. We're standing there in the parking lot, watching the kids enter the front door of the school. I've got that familiar first-day-back jitter shooting around in my stomach; but this time I'm not getting tense over the reports I'm going to have to write for Composition or my third-period trig class (well, yeah, okay, I'm pretty tense over that one). But I have far more serious things to consider at the moment.
I look over at my girl. She looks absolutely stunning today--her headfur's been professionally done, and it flows over her shoulders onto her white V-cut sweater. She has on a khaki skirt, a little longer than the one she wore when I first met her, and the same boots. Alika's taking deep breaths, her tail drooping.
"Hey," I walk over to the driver's side of the car and take her hand. "You ready for this?"
"No." She shakes her head. "Absolutely not. I..." She squeezes my hand. "You have no idea how terrified I am."
"I have a pretty good idea."
"They're going to laugh. They're going to point and laugh and..." She closes her eyes. "They're going to call me faggot, sissy, wimp...they have a million names for people like me."
"Like us. People like us."
"Schrodi, they're going to throw food at me at lunch. They're going to steal my books, vandalize my locker, throw punches, threaten my life. I can't be alone in the halls anymore without worrying about being attacked."
"That's why you have me!" I squeeze her upper arms. "Anybody tries that crap, they're going to have to answer to me. I don't care what I have to go through, or who I have to--"
Alika smiles down at me. "Sweetheart, I'm twenty pounds heavier and six inches taller than you. I'm not worried about getting injured. The hurt comes from knowing people want to do that to me, just because of what I'm wearing. It's just inevitable. People attack what they don't understand."
"I won't let any of that happen. I won't." I set my jaw.
She caresses my cheek. "I believe you. You're wonderful for wanting to be here for me. But I can take care of myself...and I want you to know, I'm giving you one last chance to back out of this. I'm in for a rough year, but I won't think any less of you if you want to back away."
I give Alika a smirk. "Let me show you something." I pull out the waistband of my jeans to show her that I'm wearing my purple panties--the same ones I was wearing on that day back in February.
Alika laughs. "You planning on being my big, strong, burly protector wearing those under your clothes?"
I nod. "Just my way of showing a little solidarity." I take a deep breath, let it out. "And, yeah. Because you're worth protecting. Because I want to lend you whatever strength I have to give you, because I believe what you're doing is the right thing to do. And because I love you. With all my heart and soul."
Alika kisses me, tears shining in her eyes. "I love you, Schrodi." We stand there, holding each other, leaning against each other for a moment, feeling the weight of the day to come settle on our backs. "Well...I guess we'd better get moving," she says, taking my hand.
"Yup. Let's get the worst of it over with." I squeeze her hand back, and we start walking towards the front entrance. "By the way...I'm wearing my purple ones, which ones are you wearing?"
Alika shrugs and gives me a little smirk. "Schrodi, today my love, I am going commando."
"No. WAY." I can't help but break out into a huge grin.
"Oh, very much way. If somebody gets curious enough to sneak a little peek, I figure, why not give 'em something to gander at?"
"I see. Alika, have I told you recently how much I love you?"
We laugh together and step hand-in-hand onto the threshold.