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I was badly hurt after the fight. When the shepherd-lab finally removed his awesome bulk from my body, he and everyone else ignored me. I didn't dare to move because it hurt so much. My neck and my leg were bleeding freely, but I'd also been crushed under that mammoth Alpha. I might have been seriously injured if he had put his entire weight on me. Still his forequarters had been enough. He'd been soft, but the weight had been almost more than I could bear and I could almost still feel him on me, even after he'd picked himself up and gone.

He looked at me lying there still and battered on the ground after he'd taken his victory perch over there against the sole stone wall of our enclosure. He looked at me when no one else did.

I was still lying there, sore and feeling miserable for being defeated so easily when the lab techs came right on time to serve us breakfast. The shepherd-lab got up like nothing at all was different in the routine; I thought viciously that he must be hungry for his post-beating meal and slumped back. The shepherd-lab would be denied the routine, however as I was immediately seen as well as my blood staining the grass. They may have even thought that the squirrel's blood over by the wall was mine as well, because they acted with some haste, despite the fact that I probably would have felt like getting up before they actually started handing out the food.

The female lab tech came to me. She put her arms under me and hefted me up with surprising strength despite the fact that I was bloody and dirty. I lifted my snout and licked her face. I can't say that I wasn't trying to milk the situation for all it was worth. I even whined a little cause I knew it was what she wanted to hear.

She rushed me over to the other lab techs and they talked a lot in a brief span of seconds. Then, all of a sudden, the woman was jogging with me out the gate and out of the yard in what seemed like the first time in my post-infantile life. It was exhilarating, but also frightening. I hoped that I wasn't about to become a "gone dog."

She took me around the corner of the stone wall and before I knew what had happened, we disappeared inside. White specked tile lined the floor and the walls were bone white and the lights overhead glowed an iridescent white. The floor however seemed dirty with decades of rough use and grime that would take more than a floor buffer to remove. We turned into a new corridor and then another corridor and I was lost almost immediately. I just relaxed in the humans arms supported me and continued to bleed onto her ivory shirt.

Eventually, I was set unresistingly onto a smooth metal surface with a bright lamp over head. I still wasn't feeling too hot, but the all over compression hurting had subsided to be replaced with my bite wounds which throbbed at my neck, on my legs and spread over my rump and back. The lady lab tech applied a cloth to my neck and to my leg and pricked my bottom with something sharp she'd ripped out of a plastic wrapping. I was soon floating in a happy place.

I didn't mind at all when a couple more people I'd never seen before came into the room and began to poke and prod at my dirt covered wounds. They cleaned me up first and then pulled at my skin to expose the wounds properly. It should have hurt, but it didn't. I remained as limp as the squirrel. I was even amused when once my head thunked onto the table, it felt like I had a layer of cotton all over me, and inside my brain as well. But I do remember everything that happened. I got eight stitches in my neck, two for each puncture wound and four on my leg. For my back, they used ice packs to reduce the swelling and they gave me another shot, I assume it was antibiotics.

The vet care was pretty standard and I could have made do without it if I had really needed. But more than the care, I noticed something else. The humans, after the treatment while I was still lying there on the table, were talking about me. I knew because they said those syllables often, the ones I thought meant "come" but now more and more thought meant something a little bit different. I had another name that they used for me as well, a longer one that flowed less smoothly off the human tongue. I didn't know it yet, but it was my identification number. They used that one a lot too. Then the measurements started.

They measured almost everything that could be measured. The measured me from nose to the base of my tail, across my ribs and across my back. They measured around my chest and around my waist and even around my neck. They pinched the fat on my neck with a device that resembled a pincer and did the same at my chest and belly. They measured how long my forearms were and how long my haunches were, indeed, how long every bone in my legs were. They weighed me, took a saliva swab, a blood sample and a stool sample. Everything was fast, scientific and methodical, but I didn't care, I was floating and I was happy. My head hit the table surface with another funny thunk.

Although I was pretty out of it at the time, I took from that place my memories intact and I poured over them later because I was curious about every detail from a place outside the yard. What I eventually gathered from the bits and pieces of human speech I understood and from their gestures and postures which I understood far more was this: They were interested in my unusual size. I was actually a little giddy that they noticed something that had been haunting me for a long time; none of the other dogs save maybe the black lab had any idea as to my unusual problem. I burned to ask them one simple question. "Why?" But of course I couldn't. I was already back in the yard and hours had passed before I had recovered enough from the drugs to even speculate. But I knew now that the humans knew I was different and more, they cared I was different, even if they weren't always around or always showed it. I began to feel even more compassion for the distant humans, even the ones I had seen but once or twice in my whole life. I sensed somehow that they were waiting for something. Well, I could wait too, but I'd just as soon help them find that thing they were looking for, if only I knew what it was.

I was flush with more understanding gleamed from my human encounter, but also loneliness now that they were gone and I was deposited back into the mundane world of the dogs. It all seemed so rustic and unimportant in that moment. The black lab seemed to understand what I was trying to say, but he had little he could offer me in terms of answers. He told me to put it out of my mine, these things were beyond our ken. Ignoring some of these baffling questions was the only way to survive. So I did forget them for a time, but mostly because I simply couldn't maintain that level of abstract thought. My senses inevitably pulled me back into the familiar doggy world and I found peace in ignorance of the bigger world around the yard where we lived.

Besides, I soon had other matters to occupy my mind and these I could assimilate and even act on. I'd been too drugged to eat last night so I awoke with a ravenous appetite. That morning, the ape was King Kong and he was rattling my insides around like jungle vines. I panted open mouthed I was so hungry. And the humans crossed the yard with the heavy white bucket of food so slowly.

Agonizingly, the human female crossed the yard and took a long and slightly painful look at my neck, running her fingers though the folds so she could see the stitches. She did this instead of sensibly feeding me first as she ought to have. I noticed the glare I was getting from the shepherd-lab, however, and I was glad at the attention I was getting. More than simply craving attention - which I did - human attention gave me status, just as it gave the Alpha and the heaviest dogs in the yard. So, in fact, the woman had unwittingly boosted my status slightly from its previous terminally low position. I hoped I wouldn't have to pay for it later.

After she checked my neck and my leg, she gave my neck and good rubbing which felt nice. If she had rubbed me a little longer, I was about to roll over and invite a tummy rub, but she stopped and began the feeding process. I forced myself to be still despite the cavernous hunger raging inside of me so that I would get my food faster. Oh, those humans had me wrapped tightly around their fingers. If they'd wanted, I'd have stood on my front paws for food. I was glad they only wanted me to keep still and remain calm while everyone got fed.

The shepherd-lab may have been Alpha, but unlike a normal pack leader, he had absolutely no say in the distribution of food. I'm sure that if he had, he would have cut my rations. As it was, however, I was free to cram as much kibble in my mouth as I wanted, in spite of him and the way he'd kicked my ass the previous day. Another dog might have tried to curb their appetite as a show of eating was sure to only arouse his ire all the more, but I was starving. I shoveled my food down, bolting it like I couldn't fill my belly fast enough. Each time the bowl was emptied, it seemed like an eternity before it was refilled again. I sat on my butt and wagged my tail the entire time I spent waiting, waiting for the food to go around so I could have another turn. Before I even realized it, I was halfway through my fourth bowl. That was a full bowl more than I usually ate and it was just as much as the lab-shepherd ate at every meal. I saw him looking at me, along with the five other dogs who ate into their fourthsies. I suddenly felt very sick to my stomach.

I turned my head away sharply and stumbled towards my usual spot by the chain link fence facing the trees at the opposite side of the facility. Oh god, my stomach was not happy for once. I felt like there was kibble at the back of my throat, but I kept on trying to hold it in, mostly because I knew I wasn't to be fed again until much later and also because I'd rather not have to eat my own vomit if I didn't have to.

So it was, I was lying there, back against the chain links and legs sprawled, my gut distended and laid on the ground ahead of me, trying not to puke when the black lab waddled up. He was slower eating, but he regularly ingested as much food as I'd just eaten. I didn't have to tell him that I felt like I was about to puke.

He responded by telling me that if I hadn't already, then I probably wouldn't. That made me feel a little better, but still sick to my stomach. He laid down near me, but not touching me and that was good. I wanted a friend nearby in case the shepherd-lab decided to pay me a visit, but he didn't. Soon the black lab was snoring beside me; he claimed he needed a nap to help him digest after meals, but I tended to think he napped just to pass the time. Of course, there was no denying that the black lab made gluttony look easy. Only his personality made him ineligible for a higher rank, a beta certainly, perhaps even Alpha if he really wanted. I looked at him enviously and wondered if he ever got stomach aches from eating too much. His serene sleeping face and easy breathing hinted at no for my question. Then again, perhaps he just knew when to stop eating, unlike the silly pup that was myself.

Another intestinal spasm took me and I curled up, trying to will it to go away. I wondered why I kept doing these things to myself. First the fight with the dog who'd injured my shoulder, then the squirrel, then the fight with the shepherd-lab and now this. I thought that I was more a glutton for punishment than anything else. The spasm passed and I breathed a sigh of relief. After about an hour and a half, I was feeling much better. I hadn't vomited, just like my friend had said, and he began to stir from his nap.

He yawned massively as I crawled on my belly to face towards him. He looked at me with sleep filled eyes and blinked slowly in the sunshine. I sometimes thought that he wished he could just sleep from one feeding time to the next and that life itself seemed like something of a chore to him. But then again, the black lab's mind was still something of an enigma to me. Just then, he belched so deeply I thought I could almost see his stomach through his throat and he licked his chops, savoring the taste. I laughed a dog's laugh.

"Feeling better?" he asked me lazily with his ears.

"Very much!" I said enthusiastically with my tongue hanging out the side of my mouth.

He sniffed my neck and I understood he was asking about my wounds.

I canted my head, saying, "Those are better too. The humans took care of me."

The next thing that I had to say took more time to iterate. "The humans noticed that I am bigger than normal."

The black lab looked at me straight without reacting, as if to say, "You're surprised?"

I supposed the way I put it, it seemed obvious, but I didn't let the issue go. "I wonder if they know what's wrong with me." As soon as I'd "said" it, I realized what a deep and hurtful truth the meaning of the words had for me.

The black lab tilted his head and then jabbed his nose forward strongly. "There's nothing wrong with you."

I growled a bit. "I'm more than twice as big as my brother! I'm as tall as you are now and I'm not nearly as old." That last bit might have sounded harsher in human tongue, but since there were no elderly among us, age only meant strength, wisdom and respect. Also, I said it because I still had no terms to describe more precise measurements of time.

The black lab took his time in answering. He studied my youthful, though overlarge face, the ears and nose still looking like they belonged on a dog less than a year old, despite the fact that my frame matched the size of most of the yearlings here. He reached out and licked the side of my face affectionately. "You are special."

With hurt eyes, I turned my nose away. "You mean I'm weird."

He surprised me by snapping in front of my nose, and his teeth made an audible click as he did. That was a correction. Then he licked my face again, repeating, "You are special."

Grudgingly, I accepted the black lab's words, but inside, I still felt like a freak.

We spent a while lying on the grass beside the fence. We looked into the trees beyond the tall black metal gate that ringed the perimeter of the research facility. I always imagined that there must be hundreds of squirrels out there, just waiting to be tossed around and buried. I sometimes also wondered what it must be like to be a wild creature, to live for yourself and no one else. To have no humans. I thought it must be lonely, lonelier than my life certainly. I wasn't showered with attention like a house pet, but I knew daily affection in the form of the visiting lab techs and sometimes they even stayed after hours to play ball and tug of war with us. And beyond that, I knew that there were other humans as well, ones who I'd only seen briefly, but I knew without a doubt that they were invested in and interested in my life and my destiny. I didn't always see them, but I had faith they were out there and they cared for me, they might even be watching me from one of the many windows of the research building right now...

I was turning my head to glance up at the wall, when I met instead the yellow eyes of the black lab staring at me, unusually intense. He spoke abruptly. "You're going to have to fight him again."

I didn't have to ask who he meant. "I don't want to fight him anymore." I said, tail curling between my legs.

The lab pushed his blunt nose forward. "Doesn't matter. If you don't fight, he will. He has his eyes on you."

Cautiously, I asked the burning question inside of me, fearful of a nonresponse. "Why?"

But the lab did have an answer for me. He licked my face. "Because you're special." The black lab elaborated. "You're special like the collie was, maybe more special and he sees his old rival in you. He hates you because you're special and he's not."

I was quiet for a time. There seemed no point in rebutting the sage-like black lab. I knew that he spoke the truth. I'd seen that hate in his eyes when we were fighting. Although the black lab had tied in something that I hadn't realized before. That I reminded him of the now-gone collie. Is that why he's always been so suspicious of me? The idea clicked in my head and suddenly all of my previous encounters with the shepherd-lab had new context. Every motion of his body had new meaning and the way it almost seemed like he went out of his way to trample me when I'd been younger. I felt in myself a new pool of anger stirring, but it wasn't enough. I had discovered the hard way that the shepherd-lab was a much better fighting dog than I was.

I looked at the black lab, patiently waiting for me to collect my thoughts. I was so happy to have him as a friend. "What should I do?" I asked, not without a whine of desperation.

The black lab staggered slowly to his feet, his flanks changing shape as they dropped, unsupported by the ground. He really did have a fine shape to him. He waddled over and past me, looking me over up and down. I stood still and let him. After a few moments, he shifted his weight to let him raise a forepaw. He touched the side of my belly with it. "You become Alpha."

It felt like someone had taken the floor out from under me and I was falling. "Me, Alpha?" I stammered.

My companion raised the same paw and hit the side of my tummy harder with it, setting my round belly swaying slightly. "I told you before!"

Indeed he had, but this time affected me far more because back then the idea had been mere idle fancy. Now it seemed more like something I had to do. I had to become Alpha, or spend the rest of my life here under the shepherd-lab's paw, victim to a past rivalry that wasn't my own. "I... have to become Alpha." I muttered, needing the idea to be expressed as more than a thought inside my head. I glanced at the black lab, his generously swollen sides and low slung belly. To me, those features were as good as trappings of royalty. I looked at him with wide puppy eyes, "Will you help me?"

As an answer, he licked my face.