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I didn't roughhouse for a week after I'd suffered my defeat at the fangs of the brown lab. As for my relationship with my antagonist, it was little different than how it was before. He held no grudge against me nor I him. I showed him deference when we got near each other as was proper, and in fact, I got used to showing deference to pretty much everyone older than me. The last thing I wanted was another fight. However, since my foreleg was still hurting too much for most of my former pastimes, I became restless during the long hours of the day. Sometimes I'd nap, and other times I'd think of food, but it wasn't enough. I was terrible bored. My friend the black lab seemed to sense this.

He didn't care much for wrestling and for the most part was the sedentary contemplating type. It explained why he was a lot heavier for his age group for one and perhaps explained why he seemed interested in me. I was like my close brother in a lot of ways, but from the start, I noticed things that he didn't and had a tendency to lose myself observing small things or watching clouds. I can only wonder if the black lab saw this in me from the start.

The day that he taught me about another toy that had so far gone unnoticed for me, I was resting against the chain link fence. I watched him gather his heavy self out of a grooming circle that had formed out on the yard and begin to waddle over to me. He wasn't nearly so fat as the collie had been, but he was proudly displaying stretch marks on his dark skinned belly and these served as a pass closer to the center of the circle, like marks of distinction. He came over, tail wagging and brisket bouncing. I thought then that I liked the way his body moved as he walked, throwing his weight side to side as he moved, spine curving and low slung belly swinging. I don't remember if he ever ran anywhere, but he could walk and he walked well. His tiny sheathe with visible pink skin disappeared under a heavy draping of fat from his abdomen when he sat before me; this was be the precursor to a huge gut that would flow across the ground later.

He sat there and looked at me, mouth open but not panting. He licked his chops as I glanced up at him curiously. The black lab scraped his paw restlessly against the surface of the grass, he almost looked like he wanted to bark. I was a little taken back by his forthright posture, and I stood. When I did, he turned and walked away from me, tail wagging invitingly. I followed without a thought

What the lab took me to was something and I had known existed, but possessed no knowledge of before this time. I'd certainly heard the effects before, but I had no concept of what it meant, I probably ascribed it to another ineffable "older dog thing" and thought about it little if at all. This toy was different from the normal variety. For one thing, it was much bigger and rested against the solid wall where our pen met the side of the research lab, as if it weren't meant to be moved or tossed around. It was made of hard plastic that obviously wasn't much fun for chewing and despite the varied colors it presented, it seemed as bland an uninteresting to me as the fence poles or the concrete wall of the research building itself.

That is, until the black lab stepped up and put his paw down on the toy. I started as the thing began to emit a series of repetitive tones. I mentioned that I'd heard the tones before, but I'd had no idea that they had anything to do with the dog playing with the device. I wasn't sure this was the case, even after observing this for myself. I looked down and saw the black lab's paw on a caricature of a flower depressed into a roughly horizontal surface at paw level. There were many shapes on the board, ranging from dogs of different colors, to cartoon human shapes, clouds and water as well; although naturally, a lot of these things appeared abstract to me at first. After the lab pressed a second button and a new series of tones was added to the first, generating a more complex tune, I became more sure of the purpose of this device, which was simply to play with sound.

Any human at all familiar with dogs will know that eyesight is not our primary sense. Smell is, but after that comes hearing. Dogs can hear much higher pitches than man and far quieter and from further away. Our soundscape is far more rich and informing, to the point where I wonder that humans are able to get away with relying sometimes solely on the visual sense. At any rate, I should mention that this was the first time that I realized that I could manipulate sound in other ways besides a bark or a whine or a chorus of howls. In a lot of ways, the sounds coming out of the board were simpler than the canine repertoire, but they were also precise and elegant and I thought that I detected a hidden subtly hidden under the simplicity, almost from the start. In short, I was hearing music for the first time.

But it wasn't just music either, because we were creating the music. I watched the black lab press the buttons for a while. I noticed that some buttons created or modified the beat while others were used to insert individual sounds. The toy was pitched adjusted for canine ears, so the notes on the scales hit me with power and beauty. The patterns as well were not perhaps what a human would find immediately enjoyable either. The steady patter of rain was the first that I picked up, but the asymmetrical twanging of a multi-dog chorus was also available.

When the lab stopped, the beat continued for about a minute and then it too was quiet. He turned his head around on his meaty neck, black rolls bunching against his cheeks, as he turned back to look at me. I sat up and looked at the wide back of the lab, his tail wagging unsurely from under a hefty helping of flab that fell on it when he sat, then looked at the toy. I'm still not sure how, but I knew what he wanted me to do. So I stepped up and sat beside him, the side of his paunch touching my knee a little as I did so. Experimentally, I put a paw down on what I took to be a cloud shape. A new airy beat started. The black lab sniffed in approval and turned his head down to look at the board with its many shapes. He pressed a bumblebee and we got a faster riff added in. Not knowing what I was doing, I responded with a horse and the tempo of the whole thing increased. Surprised, I let my tongue escape my mouth in a doggy grin. I pressed the sun again and the beat increased to an even faster pace.

The black lab snorted. He told me that he didn't like the new pace and he corrected it by touching a turtle icon. I slumped my head because I'd found some appeal in the fast paced jamming. The black lab gestured with his nose and I saw that he wanted me to press the bird. I did and we got a nice trill. The black lab threw in another loop and when he flicked his head, I pressed the bird. The notes came around again and he gestured and I pressed the bird. The third time I didn't need a signal. I did this a few more times as the black lab adjusted the pitch to his liking, pressing and holding some animal shapes that he'd learned. I pressed the bird faithfully and then decided to try the pig. I got a loud bleat that affected the black lab as though I'd slapped him. He snapped in front of my nose and I averted my face. Docilely I pressed the bird when he wanted.

He gave me another part soon enough and then a third, but the way that the lab manipulated the track was like watching an artist at work. We went from merest beeps and bops to a virtual symphony. He had only the crudest tools available to him, but the basic mechanics were there. Tools for adjusting the pitch, the tempo, adding loops and even deleting selections from the repeating track. In this way, new tunes could be generated. But there was no way to save anything he created. After a minute with no input, the toy stopped playing and forgot what had been created. Thus, each time we used it, it was a new performance, as brief and beautiful as spring flowers. I loved every second I spent playing on it with the black lab.

And more, the music stayed with me. The first use I had for the ability to recall specific events was for the music. I would recall my favorite tunes during my quieter moments, not realizing that I was doing something very special for a dog. The music remained with me, past the ever flowing wave of the present, it was something to hold on to. I later found that if I tried hard enough, I could hold onto other things as well.

My brother came often once the black lab had taught me to play better, and although there was only room for two dogs at the board, he seemed content to listen rather than create, as many a dog did. And not every dog was interested in the music toy as I was, though almost all of them came to enjoy and respect the tones it created. Sometimes, when our music was especially good, we would get a crowd gathering around us. They sat quietly and listened. I hardly noticed, absorbed as I was in playing my parts and helping the lab trim and add to the harmony. It wasn't uncommon for the crowd to develop into a grooming circle as well, but me and the lab played on.

Of the other dogs who liked to use the music toy, the lab was easily the best and I was happy to be learning from him. Some dogs just used the machine as a baby would, slamming their paws against the surface, seeing what each new button does and then quickly losing interest once everything had been pressed. A number also attempted music, but usually they stuck with the basic tracks and added trills and sound effects to it as they played. Again, it seemed like the black lab was on a different level with the music and he continually awed me with his precision and sense of taste. He told me that he had learned his style from a dog who was now gone in a silent conversation that lasted the better part of a week.

Remember, the past was still an abstract concept for me into which I was only just delving. The answer came in fragments and was often repeated so I'd understand. First, I had to understand that the lab was once like me, barely understanding in a time of "Ago." I understood "Ago" in the most basic sense, a place that was here, but no longer here. The lab told me he'd learned from one who was gone, and that was easier to understand, there were dogs who were gone now. What I didn't get for a long time was the scale of time. I kept asking him which of the "gone dogs" his mentor was, and if it was the fat collie, because he stuck out foremost in my mind. The lab would rebuff me and inform me that this was an "Ago" even before I was here in the yard. That, of course, stumped for for a long time. I had to come to the stunning revelation that the yard had existed before I'd even stepped foot here first for the concept to sink in and with it came a lot of other strange and fleeting thoughts. Like who was before the black lab's mentor and before him and before him? Who was before mother? Was there anything before the yard? Before the lab tech? Before humans and dogs? Before, before, before...

I had a startling dream the night of my revelation. I dreamed that the sun was setting in the east and all the dogs and the people were walking backwards. The fence was coming down, the tall building was coming down and there was... nothing beyond. Simply nothing. I awoke suddenly with my heart racing, feeling for the first time the scope of my own ignorance. Strange thoughts indeed for a dog.

So strange were they, in fact, that I couldn't cope. I was paralyzed with terrifying introspection so that I could only lay on the ground and whimper softly. I had to banish them from my mind to function at all. But the dog inside of me came willingly back to the surface with an ease that comforted me. I was in no real danger at all. I could slide back into my happy stupid self and never have these troubling images come back to haunt me... except occasionally... and when I wanted them to...