No End, No Beginning
*Author's Note: * My stories seem to be coming further apart, but I think I'm slowly improving thanks to all the RPs I've been doing. This latest piece is another one more for poetics then extended story. I hope you all enjoy it.
Special Thanks: This story is based on the song by the Poets of the Fall of the same title. If you haven't heard the song, I would highly recommend going to YouTube and looking it up. Or any of the Poet's songs, for that matter. Great stuff.
No End, No Beginning
Marros took a deep breath as he climbed out of his car and shouldered his workbag. Before him, past a small shade of trees, was his home. Well, not his home officially. Technically it belonged to Alex. She was his mate.
The wolf locked the car with a push of a button without looking back and started across the lawn. He remembered at one point when such a walk was a welcome end to his day. Done with work, coming home to a nice, welcoming mate... Nowadays, it was just another walk. He made the same walk every day when he walked into his office.
The door was already unlocked as Alex had the early morning shift at a local diner. Not a waitress, but a cook. A touch more glamorous for a bit more pay. He saw no appeal in it, but he would support whatever made her happy and it was the best thing she could find at the moment.
"Evening, honey." His voice was dry despite trying to liven it. He let the door close on its hinge and walked left into the living room. She was curled up on her usual spot on the sofa, reading from yet another of her seemingly endless supply of romance novels.
"Hey, hun." She lowered the book, thumb stuck in the page, and twisted a bit to look up at him. "Have a nice day?" Her lips were smiling, but it was as dry as his own welcome had been.
He let his eyes gaze over her as he set his bag by the big chair directly across from the sofa. She was canine like him, but her deep orange fur was a stark contrast to the pepper gray look of his own. She wasn't even a wolf. Most of her family didn't know what their lineage was. For her, the Labrador genes seemed to come out the most, but a hint of Doberman still hung in her relatively flat chest and deep hourglass hips.
Like most things, he had once found her appearance to be riveting. She was dressed in a thin t-shirt that stopped above her belly button and a pair of athletic shorts. From simple experience, he knew that she likely had nothing on underneath of either piece of garment. Just her bright fur, bosom, and smooth hips. And that should have made his mind go spinning. It didn't.
"Eh... Just another normal day. Probably going to end up overpaying for another merge again." He talked, but he knew she had no interest. Her mind couldn't understand most of the things he did at work. It was a bit of a wonder that she even bothered to pay attention at all, as she just nodded and watched him silently. "I'm going to go take a shower."
Marros never really bothered to wear a tie, but he at least unbuttoned a few of the spots on his shirt as he went to the other end of the living room and up the stairs to the second floor. Pictures lined the walls, and he stopped for a few seconds to look over them. Most of them were of either him or Alex in one place or another. One of them in particular made him stop and his mind traveled back.
They had met at a party. Marros' buddies were always going to one club or another and he had joined them to one at a dance club downtown. It had been a good enough night with plenty of offers from other women, but the one redfur in the tight mini skirt had caught his attention first. And apparently this modest wolf had caught her attention as well.
That first night was amazing. Things just seemed to click between them in so many ways. Not only did their bodies feel made for each other, but he began to enjoy her company as much as any of his friends.
In a sudden startle of revelation, Marros suddenly found himself in the bathroom, naked but for his boxers. He didn't really work out, but his job kept him moving enough that he didn't have more then a fine layer of fat. His fur was slightly unkept: clean, sure, but he very rarely combed it so it ended up slightly matted and tangled. Both of them thought it helped add a bit to the more animalistic intimacies they shared.
His eyes began to glaze over as his mind wandered again. That intimacy they had shared was all but gone now. Every day, they greeted each other, said their goodbyes, their "I love you"s, but it was almost like a game of charades.
And yet, each time he considered leaving her, this part in the pit of his stomach didn't want to. One thing about wolves was that they tended to mate for life. Alex had been his first; he had stayed true to her for 2 years and he couldn't picture himself with anyone else.
It wasn't just that, though. There was still that desire to see her, to be with her, to help her... Everything his parents had ever talked about love was there. So why wasn't there this feeling of more? It felt complete, yet entirely empty.
Alex came up behind him, soft paw pads making the softest brush as they slid along the carpet and then giving soft taps as she hit the bathroom linoleum. She stopped behind him and draped her arms under his to hug him from behind. Her head came to rest against his shoulder blade and her chest pressed into him through only the very thin fabric of the shirt.
In that touch, he could feel the wild desire come up within him again. It was a feral flame that burned for the one that his body yearned for. His hand came up and cupped over hers as he looked back in the mirror. He couldn't see her face, but he could almost sense in the way she held him, the way she breathed that it was somehow hollow.
As much as it pained him, this wasn't what he wanted. "Alex..."
"Yes, baby?" Her voice was soft.
He took her hands and pulled them away so that he could turn and look down at her. Her eyes looked up at him and they lowered into just slightly worried distress. "I think we should talk."
Her face held that worried look for a few seconds, but then faded into honest understanding. "I know it hasn't felt like it has before... Are you sure you don't think we can work it out?" Her hands came up and looped around his neck.
His hand transferred from hers to her neck and he cupped her soft flesh and fur gently. His throat contorted into a knot and he swallowed to push it away. "I wish I could say yes... I don't like it, but... I don't think you and I are helping each other by staying together."
He watched her eyes as she looked back up at him. How much of this inner turmoil was she feeling? In the darkest depths of her eyes, he could almost see her mind feeling exactly the same as he. He knew her love for him, how she felt the same sort of desire filled with a desire for the commitment to another.
Going against what might be considered good sense, he leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. For a second, her scent wafted into his nose and the taste of her lips flooded his muzzle. But he pulled away before it could go too far.
"Tell me what you wish. Tell me you love me in every pit of your stomach and I'll stay with you forever. Or else..." He forced himself to look at her as his muzzle caressed against the side of hers. "Let's not keep each other from better things."
His heart hammered in his ears as he waited and watched her. For what seemed like a long eternity, he felt her hand clutch at his arm. He didn't want to look away, almost wished that this could go on.
Alex blinked, and a soft tear rolled down her fur.