FSE

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Chapter 2: Love and Hate

Silver felt the water surrounding him, flooding his body with heat. He was reminded of the feeling of his mother against him, holding him as a pup. 'Everything was so much simpler back then,' Silver thought, sighing. The hot water reminding him of his past, when his father was still alive and his mother happy. Memories of the rare occasions when he was cuddled between them, a mass of fur and love, tugged strongly on his heart. One time, while his father was home from the war, they were all huddled together in his warm, strong arms, listening to stores. Silver felt the nostalgia from the few days of happiness from his past, mixed into his face to form an expression of happy sadness. The steam from the hot bath water swirled around him, blown by his breath. Silver saw his father in the steam; kneeling down and reaching out to him. The mist began to disperse, the breathing of his father became louder and his father's figure more pronounced, kneeling in front of the row of cherry trees.

* * *

"Don't worry son. When I come back, I'll have some wonderful tales to tell you and your mother. You'll need to take care of her for me, okay. We both know how much she misses me and I wouldn't want her to cry for me," the wolf said to the young pup.

"But Papa! I don't want you to go! Please stay!" Silver cried, grasping the folds of his fathers green pants.

The father wolf looked down, his pup's face buried in his pants, paws clamped to his fur through his pants, in tiny fisted balls. Kneeling down he embraced the pup. "Listen. When you become older you will understand why I have to fight. There are things I want to protect, you and your mother, for instance. I would give my life to protect you two. That is why I must go! There are many things going on around you that this village and you are unaware of. The peace we have, the life all of us share may be shattered... I want to protect our current way of life. The war may be fought thousands of miles from here, but they can reach our home in no time at all. So, son, please understand," the father finished, his eyes watering from emotional distraught.

Letting his son go, the older male began walking away, leaving his pup underneath a cherry tree, blooming red flowers. Silver sat down in the grass watching his father leave. Hugging his furry knees to his stomach, he rocked back and forth crying. Through his tear filled eyes Silver saw his father look back at him once more before turning back around and continuing to the carriage. Feeling something light brush his head, Silver reached up and picked it up. Grasping it in furry claws he brought in front of him to inspect. A small breeze blew, ruffling his fur, through the lonely street as he stared at the crimson petal of a cherry blossom.

* * *

A wave of cold air sucked the steam out of the bathroom, taking along with it the vision of Silver's retreating father. Silver, surprised, was shaken out of his daydreaming. Peering over the side of the deep, white porcelain tub he saw Raine's mother standing in the doorway. "Is it alright for me to come in?" she asked. "I knocked, but you didn't answer. I just thought... maybe... you needed some help. It's not often that you get into fights. You were always the peaceful one; Raine always stood up for you, always the hothead who got you both in and out of trouble."

'Will she react like Mother?' Silver asked himself, his fur prickling slightly in fear, 'Father was the last to wash me and even then I was really too old to be bathed by an adult. Will Fayr be able to do what she used to, pretending that nothing has happened? It's been seasons since she's bathed me. She used to do it all the time when I was young... but never alone, it was always with Raine. Besides so many things have happened since then. I'm different.'

Raine's mother, Fayr, waited in the bathroom entrance, eyeing Silver for any response. Shhe noticed the wideness of his eyes, and the rough, knotted fur; an obvious sign of neglect and stress. The change seemed abrupt, she recalled how youthful he had looked over the many years he had played with her daughter. "Silver..." she said, her voice trailing off. "What are you so afraid of?"

Ashamed, Silver bowed his head, beginning to cry. "My... my mother, umm, she doesn't like it she sees me like this," Silver cried, shaking, sending droplets of water flying around him.

Fayr felt heartbroken as she watched Silver shaking in the water. "Silver," she said in a soft motherly tone, moving to an oak chair beside the tub, "Your mother has changed. She is not the mother she was seasons ago. Your father made her, and your father broke her. She may not say it, but deep down in her heart she feels love for you. What she may say now, ignore it! She is controlled by her ancient desire for a partner, but you did the right thing... coming here."

Fayr looked at the gray wolf in the tub in front of her. Her eyes darted over Silver's body, her eyes coming to rest on his. They were large and dilated, shaking slightly in their sockets. She always felt like Silver was her own child. Through the years of war and hardships it had been her who took care of him mostly. Clarice loved him, Fayr was sure of that, but was hard at showing her feelings to her son, when she was so distraught.

As Fayr reached out to stroke Silver's bruised body, he recoiled. She sat there staring in disbelief. "Silver! Let me take care of you like I have always done!" she pleaded.

Silver peered dumbly at the faucet in front of him, unconscious of Fayr's plea and his own disheveled appearance in the reflection of the brass faucet. Fayr's body began to shake, she retched a few times, but there was nothing in her system that would cure her of her ailment. "Why? Why won't you let me take care of you? Why do you recoil from me?" she cried into her arms.

Raine stood in the doorway, rigid. Her body refusing to budge, her mind in shock, trying to understand why Silver was so catatonic, when the day before he had been so alive. 'Why won't Silver respond to Mother? Why is he staring like that, as if he isn't even there?' Unable to stand helpless while her friend lay hurting, she flung herself, from the doorway, to the tub. She slid in haphazardly, and quickly hugged Silver's neck tightly. "Silver! I love you!" she exclaimed in a sharp whisper, kissing him.

Fayr was finding it hard to control her sadness as she watched her daughter throw herself at Silver. Her heart shuddered as she realized she couldn't do anything. 'Utterly helpless! I couldn't reach him; I could not show him the love and care he wanted. His mother has done more than cause him physical scars,' she thought through tears, slowly leaving the room.

A familiar weight pressed against him. Silver could remember it; in fact, he remembered it quite well. Except, he couldn't quite name it. A voice whispered in his ear, sharply, ringing, "Silver! I love you!"

The words seemed different, less maternal and rougher. He felt a muzzle against his, once again he recognized it but could not figure out who it was. It was the same as the voice, he still could not determine from whom, though. Frustrated, he turned to the only person he could think of at the moment: his father. His tears spilled from his eyes as he hugged his father desperately. "Silver! Wake up!" the voice ordered gruffly.

His blurred vision came into focus and he felt Raine's familiar body on top of him. Confusedly he lessened his hold on his friend. Raine felt the pressure of his arms leave her body and sat up in the lukewarm water, looking at Silver's face. His eyes were different from before, no longer cloudy, or misty, but clear and bright. Smiling, she hugged his neck tightly and kissed him. "You scared me, I thought you were really gone!" she exclaimed, whispering in his ear.

"You're... not... my father," Silver stuttered.

Raine pulled herself out of the tub, dripping wet. She looked back at her friend, her eyes full of the sadness and love, which consumed them both. "It's been seasons since he died and several more since he left the last time. It's better for you to let it go... I don't want to see you like this. Shredded and deeply hurt, it tears me up. Your father was great, and I can't expect you to accept this new one, but if... if he did this to you and you continue to act this way, he will continue, and he will kill you someday."

"He will not be able to kill me," Silver answered standing up suddenly.

A blush spread over Raine's features, her furry face deepened and she turned away quickly, avoiding any more glances at his body, even though she remembered how it felt. She stumbled as she took a towel from the rack next to her. "Watch out!" Silver cried.

As Raine slipped on the wet floor Silver moved quickly behind her. Before she fell Silver managed to reach underneath her a catch her. Raine let him hold her for a bit longer, feeling him. The scars and gashes that had raked his body before seemed less important now. A smile replaced Raine's blush, 'he's back to his old self, even his body seems to be mending. Soon there would be no physical remains of his fight!' Silver released his hold on Raine; he reddened as he realized what position he had put Raine in. Some of his previous fright returned to him. 'How will she react?' he wondered, staring at her.

A fire lit behind Raine's eyes as she saw Silver and the fear entering his eyes. She kissed him again and began nibbling on his neck, showing him it was alright. She remembered the strange words he had spoken before and realized how strange they really were. "Umm, Silver? What did you mean when you said 'he will not be able to kill me?'" she asked, wrapping the towel around his waist.

"I am not going back! He will not be able to kill me if I don't go back!" Silver answered.

The words struck Raine in the heart. 'Not go back? How can he not? Clarice would want him home, and if he doesn't that would just...' Her eyes remained locked on Silver's, watching as they changed, something was definitely wrong, alien, and off. "Not go back!" she screamed angrily, "What will you do? What about your mother? Abandon her? Is that what you are planning on doing? You are all that she has left. Damn that lover of hers' to Hell! He can only give her pleasure in the bed. But you... she loves you..." her voice lost its anger and shrank to a whisper, "and I love you."

Silver's eyes blazed with anger for a moment, shocking Raine. Feeling hurt and dejected Raine turned her back and began walking out of the bathroom. "I'll ask Mother if you can stay for awhile... but you WILL have to go back eventually."

Watching, Silver gripped the towel around his waist tightly in his paws. 'What are these feelings coursing through my body as thick as blood?' he wondered. At first he thought they were feelings of love and admiration, like what he felt for his father. They seemed quite different, however, a heat of that which a fire might give off; intense and passionate. Confusedly, Silver reached for the bathrobe hanging above the door.

* * *

Clife stared up at the dark ceiling. In the daylight it was pretty much the same, empty and unadorned by décor. The bed was large and soft. For Clife it felt too large. This bed was probably made as a mating bed. 'No wonder she was so easy to sway. If I get lonely in this bed then seasons alone in this bed would drive even me insane. It has clearly driven her into depression,' Clife observed.

A noise from outside the bedroom startled him slightly. From the dark hallway came a soft and tired voice, "Clife? Are you in there?"

Clife answered in a gruff voice, "Clarice, I'm in here."

Propping himself up on his elbow he peered through the thickness of dark to see Clarice moving into the room. Her eyes shown brightly in the pitch darkness, betraying her position. Clife strained his eyes to see her body, but his eyes watered from the focus and blurred his vision to the point he had to blink away the tears. When his eyes readjusted he could not find her in the dark room. He shivered when he felt a cool paw pad slide along his side. Clife felt Clarice inch closer to him, hugging him from behind. "Why did you leave me?" she whispered, gently nibbling his ear.

"I didn't want to wake you," he answered simply.

Clarice bit down slightly harder on his ear and replied, "Not wake me? Come now, you have to do better than that, lover. You knew I was awake, you just wanted to get away from me, didn't you?"

Clife admitted that he had been careless in leaving her alone like that, but was also slightly amazed at her ability to think under his control. Wincing at the pain he whimpered in his best attempt at trickery, "I'm sorry... I was just thinking about your son."

"My son!" she exclaimed loudly, sitting up, "What does my son have to do with us anymore. He's gone for good!"

Clife smiled slyly knowing that even if Clarice could see it she would not be able to understand. "Well, I sent a cab to pick him up and take him to the school. I was kind of worried that you would be upset, but you seem to not be at all. Isn't that untypical of a mother wolf? If we have children is that how you would treat them?" he question bitterly.

Clarice sat there in shock. "What!" she screamed, "I thought that was what you wanted me to do! It was for us, so that we can be together! Our kids will not be in the way!"

* * *

Hatan stood outside the carriage. The moonless night hid him and the carriage from the sight of the house. All that shone in the dark night were the millions of stars unknown distances from the ground. It was windless and still, everything quite. 'Nights like this... I used to love them,' Hatan thought, standing in the splendor of darkness. A few of the windows shone brighter than the stars; he would wait. He wanted to wait, wanted to prolong this mission. Climbing into the carriage he lay back, grinning sinisterly, and waited. Waited for the perfect time to act.

* * *

"Mother, what are we going to do?" Raine asked her mother.

"Do? There isn't much we can do sweetie. Silver wishes to stay for a while, then he can. Personally," Fayr answered her daughter, "Personally, I believe that Silver won't be happy at his home right now. Besides it would be better to wait until Clarice settles down completely."

"So... we are just going to let him stay here? Nothing else?" Raine asked getting more and more anxious.

Fayr looked into her daughter's eyes and replied warmly, "What happens to him is what he decides. You cannot dabble in another's fate. No matter how much you love him."

Raine sat down on the wooden chair next to the oak dining table. Tears had formed in her eyes and she sniffled, hoping to hold them back. The wave was too strong for her to hold back and she began shaking and sobbing. "I just can't see him like this! His mother doesn't care about him anymore. All she cares about it that damned male! Why is she like that? How can she be so cruel to her only son? How can she give up so easily on a mate she loved for years? I just don't understand her, Mother," Raine cried.

Fayr knelt down beside her child and embraced her, hugging her tightly, and whispering words of comfort in her ears. Somehow, Fayr knew, things were not going to be alright.

* * *

"You know you can't hide forever. Sooner or later you will have to go back, you will have to face them, and you will have to accept your father's death," a voice spoke as Silver walked out of the bathroom.

Silver knew from the tone and speech who it was. "So I can stay?" Silver asked the large male wolf next to him, leaning against the wall.

"Yes," he growled, "I can't convince them otherwise."

"So, you really don't like me around..." Silver said, observing Raine's father's distasteful manner.

"All I care about is my wife and daughter. If they are hurt by your situation, I will do anything to help them, even if I have to allow you to stay in my house."

Silver's lip curled slightly in a slight smile. "At least you aren't trying to comfort me."

The other wolf glared at him, "You are as terrible as your father. I..." the older wolf choked, "I am sorry about his death. I'm sorry I could not keep my promise to Clarice. She loved him you know, as she does you. That's why I don't like you around. You remind me too much of him, and my broken promise. Clarice won't live too long if you are gone."

The older wolf turned around and stalked away from Silver. Shock and confusion caused Silver to whirl around and watched the wolf leave

* * *

Hatan woke up with a start. A pale glow was forming in the east, and the house was dark. Stepping out of the carriage he breathed in the fresh air. The new day smelled poignant and musty from dew and wet grass. Hatan moved softly up to the front door and knocked once. He heard pawsteps and muttering through the thin wood. 'Too soon!' he thought, 'I acted too soon, they haven't gone to sleep. Damn it!' The door swung inward and Fayr stared at Hatan, who was standing there cursing himself.

The door opened, and he saw Fayr standing there. He knew her from years ago, but he hoped she did not remember. "I am Hatan, I have come to pick up Silver."

"So... you are a friend of Clife, is that right? After all, who else would ask someone to come pick up Clarice's only child," Fayr asked.

"Yes," Hatan answered pushing slightly into the house, "He told me to come and pick up Silver. He would have come himself except... you know. If he were here Silver would not come with me."

"Come with you? What do you mean! Where are you taking him?" Fayr demanded her fury rising.

Fayr's husband stood in the shadows of the hall leading from the kitchen, unsensed by Hatan. He listened carefully to the conversation. "A school. Clife and his mother want to see him become someone. Silver needs expert attention as I am sure you have figured out. I hope you can see this is for his own good."

Raine came up from behind her father, awakened by the shout of her mother. "What's going on?" she whispered groggily.

Her father turned to her and knelt to look at her eye to eye. "Listen, you need to get Silver out of here. Take him as far away from here as you two can get."

"Why?" Raine questioned.

"Do not question me! If you want to see Silver again you will do this!" he answered pushing his daughter away.

Raine dashed from the hallway leaving her father behind. The large wolf turned back to the kitchen and entered, stepping heavily and purposely. He stepped in between his wife and Hatan, banging on the table. "You come into my home and expect us to have Silver. I sent him out long ago, I don't take in beggars!"

"You shouldn't get angry. I'm doing this for my employers and friends, and they are one in the same. So, I will not leave here without him, and I am aware that you took him in, or, should I say, your wife and daughter, took him in." Hatan answered, his rage kept in check.

At the mention of his daughter he leapt on Hatan. Hatan fell immediately and was pinned by the larger wolf. "Tell me why I should not kill you for the mention of my daughter! I know why you are here! I know you work for Clife! I know Clife does not give a damn about Clarice or her son! And I know what it is he is after!" the father wolf spit out angrily.

Hatan's arms were restrained, but still had movement and he moved his left paw underneath him while he spoke, "That bitch told you didn't she. I bet she even tried to court you! But you turned her down being the honorable, boring, LOYAL wolf. You should check your loyalty or your family will suffer! You seem to know everything don't you! Only someone in this thing as deep as me could possibly know everything. So... what was your role? The murder of a friend perhaps? I tell you. Ow can you forget what has happened? The number of people you've betrayed? It's a goddamn war! You think you can just walk away? Just wash your paws of the blood that covers them?"

"Yes. You are right. I can't wash my paws free of the blood that covers them. I've spent seasons trying to, but it seems the moment I do, they are once again covered in the blood of an enemy. I hope I can begin making amends after your death!"

Hatan felt the paws restraining his arms moving up his body, grasping his neck firmly. Immediately, Hatan's paw slashed out, stabbing the wolf deep in his stomach.

Raine screamed as she saw her father tossed off the top of Hatan's body, with the blade buried deep inside of him. Fayr grabbed her sides, screaming as her mate lay bleeding on the floor. His blood draining out of him uncontrollably, staining the tile red. Raine stood at the mouth of the hallway with her paw covering her muzzle. Her father turned his head and said, "Go!"

Hatan smiled grimly at the wolf. "I never meant to kill or harm anyone, but if that's what I have to do to get Silver our of here, and get the job done quicker I will. By the way, that dirk is from a friend of yours I'm sure you'd recognize it."

Fayr watched in silent horror as her mate lay on the floor, gasping for breath. His paws rested on the hilt of the blade, the scent of another's blood remained on it. "Bastard!" he choked, as he began to pull the dagger out.

Raine turned the corner into a room and screamed, "Silver! Get out! Run!"

Hatan heard Raine and began walking after her. In a last move to protect his daughter, Raine's father threw the dagger at Hatan before falling unconscious on the tile floor. Hatan felt the blade pass by him, clanging harlessly against the wall.

Silver rose quickly and began to run toward the entrance of the room where Raine stood. Raine was waiting for Silver , and was caught unaware by Hatan from behind. "Silver! Now Silver, where are you going in such a hurry?" Hatan asked, grinning as he held the dagger stained with her father's blood at Raine's throat.

He came to a halt and stared at Hatan. "What do you want? You came for me didn't you? You came to kill me! Well? Go on then kill me, but leave her and her family out of this!" Silver screamed.

Hatan threw Raine against the wall hard, and she slumped to the ground. Silver dove to her side, except Hatan got in between them and kicked him hard in the ribs. Silver fell, winded and gasping. "No, I'm not here to kill you. To tell you the truth I didn't come here to kill anyone. Until the big one got in my way," Hatan said, smiling as he watched Silver's curled up form on the wood floor.

Silver went into shock at what Hatan said. 'Raine's father got in his way to protect me?' he thought, confused, 'Why would he do that?' All the fight left him and he gave in to Hatan, "Alright, I'll go. So long as you leave them alone."

The scruff of Silver's neck fur was pulled sharply as Hatan lifted him to his feet. "Now see. This would have gone a lot better if Raine had done as her father commanded, now she will live with her father who died to protect you. She will hate you forever!" as Hatan spoke this he was half carrying and half dragging Silver's body through the hallway.

Raine's body twitched and she groaned. She turned her head to see Silver's eyes looking back at her, desperate. She heard the words Hatan spoke. She screamed loudly so that Silver would hear her, "Silver, don't listen! I love you! I will wait for you!"

Silver watched as Raine made a pitiful effort to stand up and watched sadly as she fell unconscious to the floor. "I'm sick and tired of carrying you! Where we are going you are going to have to lift your own weight! Now walk!" Hatan commanded dropping Silver to the ground.

When Silver rose again Hatan grasped his wrist tightly, crushing the bones. Silver flinched and whimpered, but did not cry out as Hatan led him through the kitchen toward the entry hall. Raine's father lay in Fayr's arms and Silver began crying as he was led through the pools of blood on the floor. Hatan threw down the dagger at the paws of the pair. "No, really, I want you both to keep it. It should do well to remind you of a certain occasion."

Silver watched as the scenery moved by. The trees blurred together by tears seemed to be crying as well. Silver watched and remembered as he saw the cherry trees as petals fell.