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Lee

"One, two, three, one, two, three..."

Clang, clang-clang, Clang, clang-clang...

Left, right-left, right, left-right...

"Good," my uncle barked, his sword still humming through the air and striking with mine on precise rhythm. The blows rattled up the bone and sinew in my right arm, but I was used to it. "Now..." He made as if to parry my strike, but he threw in a deception and my blade passed over his as he laid it parallel to the ground. He lunged. I parried with a quarter turn and deflected his strike off to the side. He remised, using the force of my sideways blow to reinforce a counterattack as he pivoted on his ankle and twirled full-circle. I ducked low. His blade whirred over my head and, with the added momentum, it threw him off balance. I backed off two steps as he redoubled, him forcing a stop with his right leg outstretched and then slashing back sideways while passing his sword from his right hand into his left. Again I retreated, thinking to just let the blade pass in front of me, but he feinted and pulled the sword back and - while launching off of his leading foot - stabbed forward for a fleche. I grunted, slid to the right a half-step, and whirled tightly to the left with both arms tucked to my sides. His blade passed by me with just a few mere inches between my flesh and his steel. He roared angrily as the force and weight behind his thrust carried him by me, too, and I landed a deft kick to his backside as my dodge/twirl brought me back around. He landed on his stomach in a puff of red dust and sand, bouncing a foot across the training field before coming to a stop in a heap.

"ARRGH!" he grumbled. He pushed himself up and punched the soft ground with a gauntlet covered paw. His light practice armor clanked as he rose and pointed a finger sharply toward me while clutching his sword in the same hand. He rubbed his backside gingerly, and his half-tail twitched from either excitement or aggravation. It was honestly really difficult to tell what he was feeling. Those two emotions elicit similar reactions from my uncle. "That was a good one!" he boomed giddily, his muzzle still taut and frozen in fury/joy. "I could've sworn I had you! That dodge was graceful as hell!"

Any other day I would've been proud of my uncle's praise, but at the moment my spirits were running low. I smirked at him, though, and swiped drips of sweat from my forehead. My fur was matted with moisture and dirt.

"Thanks," I said catching my breath. Damn I was tired. I dropped my sword arm and yanked the collar of my shirt open a bit so that fresh air could seep in beneath all of the leather I had buckled on. "We done? I don't think I can take much more."

Uncle let out a sarcastic "awwwwww," and he scrunched his hard face up into a pouty grimace. "Is my little Lee too tuckered out? Or is he just scared that I'll knock him on his ass next time?"

"Wow," a familiar voice barked. "That's a little harsh, Unc!"

I'd heard the roar of his car engine even over the clashing of our swords, and I wasn't surprised when I turned to find Red leaning casually on the railing of the fence that surrounded the training field. His tail was a blur of crimson behind him, and he looked as jubilant as he had all day at school. He wouldn't tell me why, but it wasn't that difficult for me to figure out. Well, I honestly hadn't needed to. Sasha told me everything over the phone the very same night that...that, well - it happened. I know he didn't do it to rub my face in the fact that he was taken now, but - no matter how gently you cradle a bomb it's still going to drop.

"I just...wanted you to know," he'd said. "I didn't want it to hurt you if...you found out later."

I hadn't been able to say anything.

He'd cleared his throat. "Lee, I...I didn't say anything. Red - he doesn't know about you. I didn't feel like it was my place to say anything because it's...it's your decision to make whether you come out or not. You know...I'll be here for you. It's...it's the least I can do. I mean, I...I care about what happens to you. Both Red and I do."

He hung up after I sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. That was one of the reasons why I was so tired. I hadn't slept at all since then. To me, it felt like that click from his side of the line not only disconnected our means of communication, but it was like it disconnected me from him.

For the first time when I thought I had had a chance I lost it.

He was happy, though; I could tell. As much as I could've blamed Red for taking Sasha away from me I couldn't do it. The husky draping his arms over the fence with a goofball grin across his muzzle was my friend, and - the fact was - I hadn't had Sasha to begin with. He had. I wasn't the one who, to say his name, filled that beautiful boy's eyes with joy and light. My name only raised guilt and confusion within him. It hurt me to think - it killed me on the inside - but he was better off with my best friend.

Or at least I was trying to make myself understand and accept that. So far after finding out about the two of them, and to an immediate backlash of terror, whenever I'd seen my friend I became infuriated. Each time I managed to calm down and tell myself it was pointless to point fingers, but...literally, whenever I'd see Red, I'd see red. It wasn't like me at all. I should've been happy for the two of them. I knew they'd been through all sorts of hell, and the joy they brought to one another was deserved.

Why was I still so angry, though - still so jealous?

Red crouched and slipped between the wooden boards of the fence to walk over. Uncle began to unharness his gear, so I started to do the same.

"Whoa," Red chirped. My paw paused over unlatching my belt. "Can I have a go? We haven't practiced together in a long time."

"Uh," I mumbled. Dammit. I was too worn out to have another bought. Besides, where was this coming from? In all of the times that we'd sparred - my uncle claiming Red was worthy enough to hold a blade - he'd never been able to get a point on me. He may have been the star on the football field, but on this field - of sweat and blood and tears, of steel and sparks and years of agonizing training - I was king. It was the one thing that always allowed me a little superiority to my friend. I guess he was feeling lucky because he had Sasha. I felt my cheeks flush, but I pushed the anger aside. I dropped my paw from my belt and stood en guard. I flashed a grin. This would be satisfying. "Better get your armor on."

My uncle stared at me worriedly for a moment before taking his guards off and handing them to Red. He helped the husky tighten the straps so they were comfortably secure but not too loose, and then he whirled his sword and gripped the hilt upside down, handing the blade to my friend handle-first. Red eyed it skeptically for a second, and my uncle smiled. He knew Red hadn't held a one in a while.

"Just remember to keep your guard up at all times. Don't leave yourself open for too long when attacking, and watch your footwork so as not to trip over your big, clunky paws," he said. He pulled Red's arms up and swayed his hands back and forth with the sword. "This is just an extension of your arm. Be aware of it, but don't focus on it. Work with it and don't just use it." Red nodded, and Uncle released his hands and turned to me. "Take it slow at first, son. Let'em warm up to it before..." He squinted at me and frowned a little. Something in his eyes made my stomach tighten. "...before you go too far."

I nodded. He'd read my emotions like a book while we'd fought, no doubt. It was something that years of experience enlightened you to, being able to decipher your opponent's mental state while fighting tooth and nail for your survival. It often revealed things that could turn the tide in your favor - fear, reluctance, weakness...anger - but fighting, like dancing, was as much a display of who you are as anything. A master could watch you spar, not knowing you one day of your life, and then understand you as if he'd grown up beside you.

I won't go too far, I told myself.

Red came and stood opposite to me, and I returned to my en guard stance. He mirrored me and grinned, and his ears flicked in excitement. I relaxed and concentrated, allowing my mind to go blank as I steadied the weight of my sword in my paws. Red's throat bulged as he gulped, and I shifted my stance a little from one foot to the other, my tail swaying behind me with the movements.

"Ready?" I asked.

He nodded, and we both stepped toward one another.

His first strike was clumsy. He swung out to the left, and the stroke glanced off of the forte of my blade, rebounding on him a little. The impact jarred my wrist, and I winced, swinging my own sword up under his and carrying it in an arch over his head. I immediately looped my blade and carried a stroke back sideways along his chest. He gasped as the dull steel thudded like a hammer against his ribs, and he stepped back with a grimace, hefting his blade back up ready to start again. I grinned. I knew he could take a beating.

The remainder of the match was much of the same. He got progressively better as we went, but the fact that he wasn't well practiced outshone his improvements and he kept making silly mistakes that would have gotten him killed if the swords in our paws were sharp and lethal. My uncle circled us as we went with his arms crossed, and his ears would flutter with each strike we made, his eyes ever vigilant to our body language and movements as he shouted tips for my friend.

"Elbows in! Keep your shoulders loose! And that's not a baseball bat you're swinging! Follow through! Follow through!"

Red would grunt in acknowledgement and do his best to take my uncle's advice, and after a while he managed to score a hit on my left shoulder. It was a light strike, but it counted. I was beginning to feel proud that my friend was decent with a sword after all, but then he wanted to start talking while we continued.

"So," he huffed as he struck at my right side. I parried it, and we went into a series of blade conversation while he continued to...well, converse. "I was wondering if...*huff*...you'd do me a favor."

I broke time and threw him off guard, but he managed to parry the strike I'd aimed toward his right shoulder. I frowned and redoubled. "What?"

Clang, clang-clang, clang, clang-clang...

"Well, I was wondering - since you were playing at the haunt - if you'd...*huff*...mind playing for me? I want to sing, but...*huff*...I can't strum a guitar to save my life."

We disengaged and I hopped backward as he made to slash across my chest. He missed, but he collected himself just in time to parry my strike toward his exposed back.

"Yeah, sure," I said.

Clang, clang, clang-clang...

"It'd just mean a lot to me, because...*huff*...I think you know the song well enough..."

My arms were beginning to burn. My biceps and triceps felt like they'd been pumped full of hot coals. "What is it?"

"Animal?" he gasped.

Oh, yeah. We'd sung that in the car the other day. "Yeah, sure. I can...*huff*...print off the sheet music later. Why...*huff*...why that one?"

Clang, clish- ptang...

"It seems fitting...*huff*...I'm going to sing it...*huff*...for...*huff*...for Sasha."

PTANG - WHOOOOM...

The both of us froze as my sword went whirring across the field like a helicopter blade. The moment he'd said "for Sasha" I'd loosened my grip out of surprise, and he'd managed to slip his sword beneath mine and disarm me with the utmost ease. I heard my weapon thump against the soft ground, and Red took his eyes from me for a split second to peer in bewilderment at his feat. He couldn't believe he'd done it. Neither could I, but that wasn't the point.

Anger bloomed magma-hot in me. How could he have asked me something like that? He wanted me to play for him while he dedicated a song to the guy that I cared about? The guy he'd taken from me?

Fury and heat pounded in my head, and in that split second of Red celebrating his accomplishment I darted forward. His arms were still outstretched with his sword bore to the world, and I grabbed the arm holding his blade, ducked behind him, and wrenched the limb backward behind his back. In that same movement I slipped the blade from his paw and into my right hand, kicked the back of his knees, and sent him down viciously to where he was kneeling before me. The blade was at his throat in an instant. He hadn't known what happened. He hadn't even had time to think.

"Lee!" I heard my uncle bellow.

"Gyah!" Red squealed, his head wrenched back and eyes wide. I could feel the pulse in his neck thudding against the sword pressed sharply to it, and with each throb he'd wince and stare up at me like a helpless vagabond. "L...Lee...You're...hurting...me," he moaned through clenched teeth.

I just stood there with his life in my hands and watched his pupils expand and retract in terror. He didn't even fight to try and get away, but I knew he didn't think I'd hurt him. I was so infuriated that my moralities and logic were being overpowered and tainted by raw, savage bloodlust. I knew at the forefront of my mind that what I was doing wasn't right, but - far in the back and unclouded by my feelings - I knew how easy it would be to just...My fingers twitched. Red hissed. It would've been so easy...

But I didn't. I couldn't. I wanted to, but...but then what would I be? No - I choked back a sob and let the sword fall away. He gasped and fell onto his hands once I let his arm go, and I tossed the weapon aside and fell to my knees beside him, my mind reeling and my conscious tearing away at my heart for what I'd just done - for what I'd wanted to do.

He'd regained his composure fairly quickly, and he sat back on his haunches while gingerly rubbing his throat. He hadn't expected such a violent reaction from me at all, but - as relieved as he seemed - I knew he didn't think I'd meant to harm him on purpose. He probably thought my mind was still in swordplay when I'd acted, but it was anywhere but.

He coughed and smiled at me. His voice cracked a bit once he spoke, and the weight I carried seemed to double. "Man, that was wicked," he chuckled. "I thought I had you beat for once."

His tail had started to wag and was raising little dust clouds that swept around me as I crouched there. "You did," I said woundedly. I turned away from him and rose to my feet, and I grabbed his sword as I walked by it. "And you still do," I half said half whispered. If he'd heard me I didn't care. Let him interpret my words as he would. Maybe it was about time for me to say something anyway.

I stopped in my tracks as I recalled what Sasha had said to me. "It's your decision to make whether you come out or not. You know...I'll be here for you."

The coppery twang of blood pricked across my tongue as I bit my lip. I knew Sasha had meant what he'd said. That moment...that moment we'd had together - I knew there had been something. He hadn't known that I'd known about Red, but even still...he'd known that the husky liked him, and that hadn't stopped him from falling asleep in my arms. I spied my uncle as he leered from the fence with his arms crossed, and he flicked his head toward Red behind me. I turned and peered at the husky still sitting in the dirt. Would he still be there if I told the truth? Or would he change hands and see me as nothing more than a turncoat? What was I to choose? Come out and reveal my love for the boy who he was now together with? Or stay closeted and keep my friend as a friend and my love interest just out of reach? I clenched my paws tight until I nearly lost feeling in them.

In the end it wouldn't come down to who I cared about most; it would come down to who I was most afraid to lose, and...I didn't want to lose either Red or Sasha. I cared about them too much. They were my friends - those who made my life worth living - and I had few of those. But Sasha...I just knew there was something between us; in the very fibers of my aching, beating heart I knew.

I decided I could wait. I'd been waiting for years now anyway, but that didn't mean I had to go on suffering in silence.

My feet trudged little trenches through the dirt as I walked back to Red. He looked up at me and smirked. "Here," I said offering him my paw. He took it and I yanked him to his feet. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so rough."

He patted me on the back and smiled. "It's alright. I was never a match for you anyway."

Likewise, I thought grimly.

We took off our armor and were about to go clean it, but my uncle decided that he did a better job of it and left us to our own devices. So, instead, we went inside and I found the sheet music for "Animal" online as Red had requested. I found a little something for me, too. I taped the sheets together and fiddled around playing his song while he hummed along. It wouldn't take much for us to get it down, thankfully, seeing as the Haunt was in three days, but...

"What's that?" Red pondered aloud as he rummaged through my guitar case and found the other song I'd printed off. I gasped and snatched the sheets from him before he'd had time to look. "Oh," he mumbled. "Sorry. Private?"

"No," I sighed. "Just...a surprise."

He shrugged and went back to singing while I plucked the notes, and I lay my fur back down while staring at the music I'd grabbed.

Like I said, I could wait, but that didn't mean I had to stay completely silent about how I felt. If Red wanted me to help him get his feelings across to Sasha, fine; he could sing to his heart's content. But I had feelings, too, and unlike Red - not only could I play guitar - I could sing just as well. And I had a lot to get off of my chest.