Sara's Story

Act 2: Present

Chapter 15 - Time for a decision

© 2003 Nameless

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"Henry?"

"Yes, Sara?"

"Do you have some time? I'd like to talk to you in private."

"Hmmm, sure. Let me get the guards and slaves organized first, then I'm at your disposal. That should not take more than half an hour, ok?" He drains his cup of coffee and stands up.

"That's fine, see you then."

Henry holds the chair for me, then he sits down across the table and looks at me expectantly.

I look at him for some time before I speak "Suppose I married you, would you allow me to visit my parents and to look for my daughter? Would you help me?"

He answers after only a moment of thought "Of course I would. I really would like to meet my wife's parents. And I would like to help you find your daughter." He gives me a smile "Our daughter."

"Even if she is a ... mixed breed?"

"I don't care, Sara, I will treat her as if she was my own child."

"And you would really go with me?"

"Yes, of course. I'd have to ask his Lordship for permission first, but I'm quite sure he would give it. How far is it to your parent's place?"

"I... I have no idea... I moved from place to place so often, and mostly I did not know where... I have no idea."

"Well, tell me what you remember, the names of villages or towns you went through, things like that. What province was it in?"

"Hmmm, it was originally a Salanesian settlement, New Wyslitch province, I think."

"Well, that narrows it down a bit."

I tell him what else I remember. He asks me some questions, then he fetches a map from the Lord's library. I don't really know how to read it, but after some more discussion he concludes that it would take us about two weeks to get to my home, if the village is where he thinks he is. Three weeks if we make a detour to the holding of the lord where I had my daughter and look for her there.

"Hmmm, if we want to spend some time there, we'll be gone for two months. I hope Lord Archwhiffle lets me take off for that long." He looks at me for some time, then he takes my paw and promises "If my Lord permits me to, then I'll go with you, to look for your daughter and to visit your parents, Sara. Even if you don't marry me."

"Even if I don't marry you?"

"Yes, even then." He grins "It might be better for our reputation if we were married, but... I'll go with you, even if we are not."

I stare at him for a while and a smile slowly creeps over my muzzle "Thank you, Henry."

# # #

The next day, shortly after dinner, Henry knocks at the door to my room. I let him in and we sit down at the table.

"I have talked to Lord Archwhiffle, Sara. He would allow me to go with you. We could leave in the second week of May. And he would write a letter to Lord Amanti, your former master, that he should help you. That he should help us, sell your daughter to us or help us find her if he sold her to someone else."

" Wow! Thank you!" I think about this for some time "That Lord treated me really horrible when I was his slave, do you think he would help me now?"

"I have no idea, Sara. But even a Lord who mistreats his slaves is usually much more favorably inclined toward a request from one of his peers. We can only hope that he will help us. Unfortunately you don't have any legal right to your daughter."

"I know, Margaret already told me that. And I fear that he will refuse to help, just to hurt me a little more."

"I pray he will not. But there is nothing else we can do, Sara."

I think about this for a while, finally I force me to smile "Thank you for your help, Henry."

"So, should I tell the Lord that we will leave in May?"

"Yes, please do... I can't quite believe that he would allow you to leave for so long."

"I had to talk rather fast to get him to agree. But Benjamin is working out pretty well as my assistant. It will do him good to be in charge for a while. And there are plenty of furs who can help him, Margaret's husband James for example. And with the new guards we hired, to replace Jack and his cronies, we are well-staffed now."

"How will we get there?"

"We will take one of the wagons. Do you know how to handle it?"

"I'm not sure. I did drive a wagon every now and then, when I still lived with my parents in Tannenbaum but I have not done it since I was enslaved."

"Hmmm, then you'd better practice it a bit. Do you know how to shoot?"

"No."

"Then you'd better learn that as well. We might be facing bandits and I'd feel much better if we both knew how to fight. And you should know how to handle the wagon, so you can get us to the next village if something happens to me."

"Henry, I don't think I can intentionally hurt another fur. Do I really have to learn how to use a gun?"

"Well, let me put it like this: Would you rather be enslaved again?"

This thought makes me shudder "Maybe you are right."

"Think about it, Sara. You don't have to decide right away. It's still more than a month until we leave." When I do not answer, he stands up "Well, I'll leave you to think about it. Good night, Sara."

"Wait. I have one more question, Henry."

He sits down again "Yes?"

"I'm wondering, are you so sure that I'm going to marry you that you do this for me, or..."

He looks thoughtfully at me for a long moment before he answers "I really hope that you will marry me, Sara. I love you very much. And, well... As your guardian, it is my lawful duty to see to it that you are provided for, that you are married. It would hurt me a lot to have to give your paw to someone else, but if you really want me to... Is there anyone else, someone you'd prefer to me?"

"No, there is not. Rick, the male I loved, was killed when I was enslaved. But..." I grin at him "I could always claim sanctuary at a church and take the oath."

Henry's jaw drops when he hears that and he stares at me, speechless for the moment.

"And then we would not even sully our reputation if we traveled together."

I can see unshed tears glisten in his eyes. After a long while he finally answers in a hoarse whisper "You have no idea how much that would hurt me. But I made you a promise, Sara, and I'm going to keep it, no matter what."

I lean back in my chair and smile at him "Good night... Henry."

He leaves without saying another word.

# # #

In the end, it is not really a difficult decision. "Henry, please teach me whatever you think helps us on the trip."

"Fine. I'll try to find some free time in the afternoon to show you how to use a gun. See you." He gulps down the last of his coffee and leaves the kitchen.

"Hello, Sara. Ready to learn how to use a gun?"

"Just a moment." I stir the pot once more and paw the spoon to one of the slaves, then I wipe my paws and take off the apron. "Ok, I'm ready."

"Get some warm clothes, it is cool and windy outside."

I wait as he unlocks the armory. We step in and he paws me a musket. "Take this one, it is a bit smaller than the others, it should be easier for you to handle." Then he paws me a satchel "This contains all the tools to clean the gun and to repair it, should that become necessary. The bullets are also in it." Finally he paws me a powder horn. "This is all for now, let's go outside." He locks the armory again and we pad outside. Carrying a gun feels really strange. Until a few days ago I would probably have been killed if I dared to touch one without my master's command. It also reminds me of Jack. The shivers that run through don't have a lot to do with the cold wind outside, still I hastily button up my jacket.

We stop behind the house, close to the hill where all the slaves are buried.

"Watch me closely, Sara. I'll show you how to do this, then you can try." I paw him the gun. Then he proceeds to load the gun, working slowly to show me every step. "It helps if you open your mouth when you fire the gun, then the noise is not quite so bad." With that he aims the gun at a wooden board some thirty yards away and fires it. I can see a few splinters fly through the air as a new hole appears in the board. For a moment I am blinded by the dense smoke, before the wind blows it away. I cough and spit to get the horrible taste out of my mouth. Then he cleans the musket to ready it for another shot. "Ok, now it is your turn."

It takes me a long time to load the gun properly, but finally I manage it, with a lot of help from Henry. I raise the musket to my shoulder, aim at the wooden board and squeeze the trigger. The gun roars, almost blinding and deafening me. It slams into my shoulder and I promptly land on my backside. " Ow!" My backside, my tail and my shoulder hurt.

Henry grins at me "Maybe you'd better brace yourself properly the next time." Then he holds out his paw to help me up.

"That is not funny. It hurt."

He grins even more "Believe me, I know. I did not remember to brace myself properly until I had hurt myself a few times. Now clean the gun."

"How am I doing?" I ask, having just finished loading the gun again.

"Not bad. Not bad at all."

This time, when I fire the gun, I brace myself properly and remain on my feet. My shoulder hurts even more now. On the next try I even manage to hit the board.

I have just reloaded the gun again, when a question I have been pondering some time comes to the front of my mind "Henry, how much do you still love your late wife, how much do you love me. Will you ever love me for myself... or will I only be a replacement for your Susan?"

He looks at me for a long while, lost in thought, before he sighs and answers "Ok, Sara, I will be as honest as I can. I love her, I miss her. I don't think I will ever stop loving her, a piece of my heart will always belong to her. But... I also love you. It took me some time to realize it, but I admire you a lot. You have been through so much, you have been hurt so badly, but you have not given up. Your masters got you to obey them, but they did not manage to break you. The more I get to know you, the more I love you. It's strange, but you are so similar to Susan in some respects, yet so different in others, but I love you for both."

I wait for him to go on, but after a moment I realize that he will not and then I remember the gun in my paws. I give him a sweet smile and turn to aim the gun at the wooden board. I hit it squarely in the middle and splinters fly through the air.

I shoot the gun several more times before Henry decides to call it a day "Let's go back. You still have to clean the gun properly, so it does not rust, once we put it back on the rack." I am glad to stop. My shoulder hurts terribly, but I did not want to let him know it.

We walk back and I spend some more time cleaning the gun before Henry is satisfied and allows me to take it back to the armory.

"Thank you, Henry. I hope I was not too much bother."

"Not at all, Sara. It was my pleasure. See you at dinner."

"See you."

He stops in the doorway and turns back to me for a moment "I'm proud of you, Sara. You did very well."

I stare at the empty doorway for a long moment, then I head to the bathroom to wash the stink of the gunpowder out of my fur.

We sit at the table, eating dinner, when Henry turns to me "I'm going to the city tomorrow. Do you want to come as well?"

"Hmmm, maybe."

"You could drive the wagon, at least part of the way. And maybe you need some things from the shop..."

"I don't have any money, Henry."

"That's not a problem. You work here now, the Lord has allowed you to buy any personal items you might need. As long as they are not too expensive, of course. And, well, since I am officially your guardian now, it is my duty to see to it that you are taken care of. So, don't worry about this, you can get anything you need."

"Really?" My eyes widen when I hear that and then a smile forms on my muzzle "Yes, then I'd like to come. And I'd really like to see the city. I have never been there. Except when I was on the sales block, of course. But then I did not get to see much of it, not that I was really in a mood to go sight-seeing."

"Fine. We'll leave shortly after breakfast. Take some warm clothes. We will be on the road for some two hours."

Again I lie awake a long time before I finally fall asleep. I cannot stop thinking about the events of the day, about learning to shoot. "Once I got over my dislike of that gun, I really enjoyed myself, even if I hurt myself quite a bit. The praise Henry gave me felt so good. It was fun being together with him!" I realize. "Does he only do this to get me to marry him?" I can not help but wonder. "Would another male also do all this? He is going to travel with me. For two whole months. Was he really serious about going with me, even if I don't marry him? I wonder if he would be angry with me if he does all this for me, if I don't marry him in the end? He seemed really shocked when I suggested that I might take the oath."

"Does it really matter if he does it only to convince me to marry him or if he just does it because he wants to help me? He did it without asking me for anything in return. Would any other male do this? Could I ever find any who did?" In some way I have known from the start that I would accept his offer, and today's events strengthen the feeling. After a long while I fall asleep.

# # #

Henry lets me hold the reins almost the whole time as we drive to the city. We are on the road for nearly two hours. One of the guards accompanies us, riding on a horse. "There have been several attacks by bandits. So his Lordship has decided that there should always be at least two armed furs in a group then we leave the house." When I look at the musket next to the seat, he says "Yes, you have that, but until you really know how to use it, you don't count." At my crestfallen look he adds "That is not because you are a femme or anything like that, you just have to practice more. Still, I'm glad you are here, if anyone tries to attack us, you'll give him a bad surprise."

While I drive, Henry tells me about the city we are going to. It is called Nevillestown, after the Briton Lord who settled there, nearly a hundred years ago. His descendants still rule the city. Actually, our Lord was married to the current Count's sister. It is not the capital of the province, but it is an important trade center and almost as many furs live here as in the capital.

Henry buys a lot of stuff at the general store. I buy a few colored ribbons for my headfur, a set of soft brushes and a few other odds and ends. Since Henry gave me his former wife's clothes, there is not really a lot that I lack. When we are finished with our shopping, Henry shows me the town hall and the church. It feels so good to be there, while I was a slave I was never allowed to go to church. I spend some time there, to thank God for granting me this new chance at life and to pray for my daughter. Then we spend some time in the market where we also buy some food. Early in the afternoon we leave the city again and head back to the Lord's manor house. Again Henry lets me hold the reins.

# # #

Alone in my room, I think about the day's events. And I realize that I enjoy talking to Henry more and more, that I enjoy being near him. When I think about my daughter, I start crying "What are my chances of ever finding her? Assuming that she was not just killed... that she did not die from a disease, as so many kits do..."

Tears stream down my muzzle as I sit there hugging myself, remembering her smell, how much I loved to hold her "Mary, I want to hold you so badly! God! Please let me find her!"

"If she is... dead... God, please give me another child to hold." Suddenly my head snaps up as the realization hits me... "I want another child. I want to bear... Henry's children..." For a long time I sit still, staring at the moon, my thoughts swirling madly, yet frozen in place.

I wonder what is holding me back, if there is any more reason to hold back "At least with Henry I can be sure that he does not just marry me for my pretty face. Not as if I had one. And he's not marrying me to get me into his bed, he had me there often enough. If he wanted just that, he could have kept me as his slave. Even if he wanted children, he could have had a slave bear them and then take them as his own." Staring at the paws in my lap, I finally realize "He wants me as a companion, as his equal. As his wife. And I want him as my husband." Finally a smile forms on my muzzle.

"Should I ask him tomorrow?" Then... "Why wait?" Maybe he is already asleep, but... I'm sure he would not mind being woken up all that much...

My mind suddenly made up, I grab the lamp and leave my room.

# # #

I take one last deep breath before I knock on Henry's door.

After a few moments I can hear his sleepy voice "What's the matter?"

"It's me, Sara. May I come in?"

"Yeah, come in."

I open the door and pad in. Henry gets up from his bed, I think he was already asleep and I woke him up. I can see that he is not happy to be disturbed, but after a few moments he forces himself to smile "What is the matter, Sara?"

I smile mysteriously, grab one of his chairs and sit down. I put my paws in my lap and wait a few more moments before I speak "You wanted to ask me something, didn't you?"

He looks at me blankly for almost a minute before he realizes what I am talking about, then his eyes widen and his smile becomes much more genuine "You mean..."

I just smile at him, encouragingly, I hope.

Then he quickly pads up to me and goes down on one knee. Looking up at my face, he asks "Will you marry me, Sara Swiftclimber?"

Grinning, I wait for a few moments before I answer "Yes."

He looks at me incredulously, then he jumps up and shouts " Yes!" He grabs me, yanks me off my feet and twirls me around twice before he sets me down again. I wince in pain as he sets me down a bit too roughly. "Sorry. I think I got a little too enthusiastic, didn't I."

"It's all right, Henry. You just surprised me a little."

"Are you really sure, Sara? After all we talked, I did not expect you to decide that quickly."

"Yes, I'm sure. I have thought about this a lot, and I'm sure. I knew for some time that I would accept your offer, but I only realized today that there was no point in waiting any longer."

"Thank you!" He hugs me and what starts as a chaste kiss on the cheek turns into a passionate one. One that leaves both of us breathless when we finally (and reluctantly) break it.

I give him a smile "Good night, Henry."

"Good night, Sara. Sleep well."

I head back to my room. It takes me some time to fall asleep, but then I sleep very well indeed.

# # #

"Good morning, Margaret."

"And a good morning to you too, Sara." She pads up to me "It is so good to see you smile. Hmmm, you look like you found the mother of all nut caches."

"Well, kind of... I talked to Henry yesterday evening..."

"And?" Her smile grows wider.

"I accepted."

She hugs me "I'm so happy for you. You will be very happy with him. When?"

"I don't know yet. I just accepted his proposal yesterday evening. But I don't see much point in waiting... I'll talk with him today."

It is late afternoon when I hear a now familiar voice call me "Sara!"

I turn to look. The Lord stands in the kitchen doorway. When he has my attention, he motions me to come with him.

"Just a moment, my Lord." I quickly wipe my paws and follow him. We walk into his study and sit down.

He looks at me for a few moments before he speaks up "I talked with Henry not long ago. Normally it would be his duty as your guardian to arrange your marriage, but given the situation... He asked me to be your guardian for the time being. Do you have any objections?"

"Oh." I think about this for a moment "No, I don't. Thank you, my Lord. This is a great honor for me."

He gets up and gives me a chaste kiss on the cheek "Then congratulations on your upcoming marriage, daughter."

"Daughter?" I wonder for a moment, but then I smile. "As guardian he is kind of like a replacement father..." I incline my head "Thank you."

"What do you think about next Sunday?"

"Well, no point in waiting, is there? No, I don't have any objections."

"Good. Then I will arrange everything. Do you have any special requests, Sara."

"Hmmm, I wonder if it some of the slaves could be there with me. Annie and Trisha have become very good friends of me."

He considers me for a while "You would want them there as guests, not to serve you... This is rather unusual. But... I'll talk with the priest."

"Thank you, my Lord."

"Anything else?"

"No, I can't think of anything at the moment."

"Fine. Good evening, Sara."

"Good evening, my Lord."

End of Chapter 15