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"Typh," Jo calls out, nudging me.

I ignore him as I stab my potato moodily with a fork and twirl it around. Thinking that I'll just be wasting my money if I don't eat, I reluctantly put the poor potato in my mouth. I don't have the mood to feed on anything right now, why did I even bother to buy any food in the first place? Maybe I'll just give them to Jo...

I'm so tired, mentally and physically. Just not long ago I had to sit between the two guys that I like most in my life. Yeah, it sounds good. But it definitely doesn't feel good. Hell, I'll rather sit with Jin. I don't really understand why I'm petrified sitting between them. There was just this... this mental stress going on. Gerrald... Gerrald is my first official crush, I felt so nervous beside him, even though he doesn't really care about me. I doubt he even looked at me once. I feel like a shy bitch beside Gerrald. The idea of being so near to him physically just freaked me out.

Then there's Jo on the other side. It's almost as though Jo purposely did that to make me choose. Yes, he probably did that on purpose. If not why won't he sit beside Gerrald? Doesn't he want to protect me from Gerrald? That pisses me off. I'm not ready to choose, and if Jo is such a jerk in a relationship, I may as well forget it.

But I'm basing this on wild guesses. The best is to ask Jo directly, I know that. But I don't feel like talking to him right now; I'm totally exhausted to think about my sucky love life now.

"Typh," Jo calls again. This time he yanks the fork away, takes my paw and holds it in both his paws. "Is something wrong? Please tell me... I'll be here to listen."

I face him and realise that he actually stopped eating and tell me that. Now that, is something really surprising. Jo usually doesn't stop eating until his plate is finished, he almost never take eating breaks, due to his usual love for food, unless it's urgent things like calls, of course. For Jo to stop eating halfway it's telling me much; my response to him, is urgent.

I take my paw back and pick up the fork, nibbling at it as I try to put my feelings into words. "Well, it's just that I'm tired," I conclude. Jo goes back to his food the moment I open my muzzle to speak. "There's not much to worry... Just about schoolwork, Gerrald, you and I... I'm sure you have noticed what happen earlier, when I sat beside you during assembly," I continue.

Jo gulps down his last mouth of food and say, "Earlier? Uh, yeah. I'm sorry if you were uncomfortable... I didn't purposely do that to make you choose, i-if that's what you are suspecting... I- I was only a little curious..."

Have I told you how much Jo seems to know me so well? He shifts closer to me, "I hope you won't feel restricted beside me. If you want to talk about Gerrald, just go ahead. Right now, we are still best friends, and you promised me not to lie anymore. I won't be jealous if you keep saying about Gerrald, I'm not that petty, and it's just fair."

"So you did make me sit between the both of you."

I sigh and return to my plate, chomping on a piece of meat next. I'm not angry at Jo, really; more like annoyed than angry. Or perhaps it's Jo's honest answer that he did make me sit there. But it isn't his fault for those uncomfortable feelings...

"S-sorry..." Jo says, but he has this small pout, making me smile. Only I know what that means. When Jo apologises with a small, subtle pout, it tells me he isn't satisfied, like he isn't fully wrong enough for the need to apologise. I've told Jo about this before but he doesn't believe so.

I pat his upper arm, "Why apologise? I didn't say you were wrong," I say, not letting my paw linger on his arm too long, it will look too odd. "Anyway, I just thought it won't be nice to keep talking to you about Gerrald. You know, it's like since you are chasing me, I don't think it's nice of me to keep talking about someone else."

"And I'm telling you I don't mind... I just want to make you feel good," Jo says.

I narrow my eyes when he said that, scooping a mouthful of food into my muzzle, but not breaking eye contact, "Oookay..."

"Uh, er... I mean in a relaxing way- N-no, I mean I want you to be at ease and normal, you know, without having the need to stop yourself from saying anything, I don't you to behave any differently because of me, and..." Jo mumbles on, blushing a little.

I know better than to perk my ears up and listen to his mumbling, who knows if he shouts again? I hear him unzipping his bag and flipping of pages, I cram up the last pile of food into my mouth and stands up to return the plates, taking Jo's along.

When I come back, the bell rings, telling us to go for our lesson. Jo coughs and we walk to our classroom, not talking much.

--

Perhaps having lunch isn't a good idea after all. I should have eaten less.

Now I'm fighting sleep in the middle of a lecture test. How nice. Quiet surroundings, hypnotic scribbling sounds, cool air-conditioned lecture hall, perfect for a nap after a meal. I seem to be fighting a losing battle; the letters on the test paper starts to look like black ants crawling about. I shake my head; tug a little at my fur, trying to freshen up as much as I can.

I'm not really the only one struggling; I can bet half of the people in the hall are fighting along with me right now. That's to be expected though. Homework can be really nasty sometimes, making you stay awake till midnight, not counting the procrastination before doing work, going out with your friends, having a little social life... I try to counter that by doing work during breaks, but... I'm still sleepy!

The chemistry test in front of me, like all other test, is plain boring. If normally the test duration is already not enough for me; with this sleeping dizziness, I don't believe I'll finish this one at all. I look around and see Jo on my left staring hard at the paper, struggling to stay awake through the entire paper. Jin, on my right, seems to be okay. His tiger tail is curling and uncurling into a cinnamon roll, as he scribbles down the next answer.

Watching Jin write something makes me look back at my own paper. I'm barely three-quarters done, dammit. Focusing hard, I try to read the next question.

The halogens all form binary compounds with hydrogen known as hydrogen halides. State and explain how the thermal stability of hydrogen known as hydrogen halides. State and...

Wait. What? I rub my eyes as I concentrate harder on the words.

The halogens all form binary compounds with hydrogen known as hydrogen halides. State and explain how the thermal stability of hydrogen halides varies down the Group.

Ah. Well, it's only 3 marks for this, and I know the answer. I scribble down the answer as fast as I can, hoping to finish the test and nap before the time ends.

The length of

The thermal stability of hydrogen halides decreases down the Grope Group because the size of the halogen...

I sigh as I endure through this torture. I nod my head as the sleepiness starts to kick in again, my words, as I write on, becomes smaller and smaller till it ends up in a straight line. My vision turns blurry as well and the darkness slowly closing in...

Then something startles me and I jump in surprise, feeling much more awake as the adrenaline rushes, and a blush rising to my muzzle. Someone has yanked my tail before my eyes are closed. I hear sounds and I turn to my right and see Jin covering his muzzle with his right paw, trying hard not to laugh. I shoot a glare at him, but Jin smiles on and points to my other side. I turn to Jo...

Only to find him asleep. Seems that that grey wolf have given up on the test. But his paw is still moving on, drawing random lines instead of writing letters. Jin gestures me to tug Jo's tail, but I beat Jin off and intend to show him a better way to wake someone other than pulling their tails. I tap at Jo's shoulder, but fail to wake him. I nudge him with my knee. Still, nope... seems like I have to do it the hard way, huh. I lift my foot and stomp Jo's.

Not only it works, Jo completely jumps, knocking his knees under the table with a small bang, toss his pen at me in surprise, making Jin chuckle harder up to the point of grabbing his own tummy. I mouthed an apology before continuing on the test. This may not be my favourite way to wake up, but it's no doubt effective.

When the lesson ended, everyone packs up and starts filling out. Jo slumps on the table mumbling 'I hate these tests.' not really wanting to move yet. Jin laughs and moves over, giving a pat on my back, "Sorry about earlier, couldn't resist."

"Well, at least it woke me up to do the test. But I'll prefer you not to pull my tail," I say. I reach out and hold the tiger's tail. I didn't grab it tight or pull at it, no furs like that; even if it's a stub tail. Jin can wriggle his tail out if he wants to, but he didn't. The tail did puff a little and jump, but remains in my hold. I grin at Jin and give a playful tug before letting it go. Jin raises his hands to surrender with a grin as well, "Okay, okay. I get it."

While the tiger may be grinning, I notice the tail droop slightly then sway away. Still, I-

"'Kay, Typh let's go," Jo calls, picking up his bag, one arm curling over my shoulders and pulling me towards him. I push his arm away and punch Jo's chest playfully before picking my own backpack. "Well, Jin, see ya around," I say with a smile as I move pass him to the aisle.

--

"Getting close with Jin these days, eh?" Jo asks on our way back, huffing once.

I frown as I wonder if Jo has other meanings to that, he can't possibly be jealous... right?

"Yeah, why not? Isn't that a good thing? He's your buddy too," I reply, not in an accusing tone, Jo may not be as easily jealous as I think he is. I know my paranoia, better not start a misunderstanding.

"Sure, but recently you keep talking to him... you know, I-I didn't expect you too," Jo says.

"He is your friend, Jo. I find it a little rude not talking much to him when he is your gym buddy... your spotter, isn't it?" I reply.

"Yeah, but I-I... Okay fine, Typh, I'm jealous."

That's blunt. I raise my eyebrow at him. "Wha-? Of what?"

Jo rubs the both sides of his muzzle with his paws frantically, "I don't know either! I-I... I just don't like you staring at other people across the parade square, or pull tails with other guys! I... I know I shouldn't, but I-I just..."

A part of me is pretty happy that someone actually will get jealous for me. I rush to grab both his wrist to stop him from rubbing off all his cheek fur. His paws stops moving, but didn't leave his cheek. "Jo. Relax, you're probably just tired. Though I flattered by your... possessiveness," I say, "didn't you say you won't get jealous because it's just fair? Heh. I'm not yours yet, you know."

"T-That's the problem! You aren't mine!" Jo says in exasperation.

I look around, checking no one is spying on us before wrapping my arms around Jo's waist, hugging him. Jo seems to calm down immediately, ears drooping lower as he seems to realise his words. I'm sure he didn't want to panic like this; he isn't usually like that. I feel his arms move around my back and return the hug. I didn't let the hug last too long, I hold up my right paw and push him back just slightly; enough to gain his attention but not break his hold, resting my paw on his chest.

"I understand if you are jealous about Gerrald, it's just natural. But I don't agree when you are jealous of your own buddy. It's not like he told you that he likes me, and neither do I have a crush on him. And I didn't neglect you either, aren't we hugging now?" I smile at him. I don't know what's going on with me. Maybe my mind is too tired. When I grow tired I tend to babble rubbish, Jo knows that very well. Rubbish as in, really, just ridiculous, nonsensical gibberish. One moment I'm in for Gerrald, one moment I'm hugging Jo.

I'm not sure if I've made my decision. Maybe I'm just tired of struggling about... This is just one of the times where I just want to let everything go and just... rest. It's just that Jo is my only comfort beside me, and possibly the only one in my life; with my family and all... Gerrald is just lying dormant in my mind now, my bet is that the next time I see the bear, the swarming thoughts of my crush will be back.

I push back Jo, and this time it's hard enough to break the hug. Jo looks evidently sad when I did that, but I have my reasons. I feel bad using Jo as a pillow to cushion me when I'm tired... I don't want to give him high hopes, only to hurt him when my affections for Gerrald come back.

"I-I'm sorry, Jo. I can't... I don't want to hurt you," I say, as serious as I can.

Jo looks confused, like why all these is coming out of the blue. "Huh? But..." Jo then falls silent. Not that he understands my reasons through telepathy; he is just at a loss of what to do and what's going on.

"There's still Gerrald..." I try to explain to him, "I may be tired of chasing him now, but I know from my previous experiences, that those feelings will be back... I have tried forgetting him, but those feelings will haunt me even in my dreams... I... I have dreams of him..."

I don't know how else to say... Dreams, when I dream of Gerrald and wake up, I feel that yearning for the dream to happen, preventing me from letting go. Even if my cry my eyes out, the thoughts, the feeling just won't pass.

Just when I thought Jo will just leave me as it is, he closes our distance and wraps his arms around me again. I try to squirm free, but his firm grip just won't break. He pulls me close with that firm hold; strong but not tight.

I headbutt him in the chest in desperation which makes him laugh, and then he puts his forehead against mine, speaking softly, "You want this as much as I do. Just... just forget Gerrald for now. Both of us are tired, so let's just chill down and not fight against it... against this."

I close my eyes and smile at those words; Jo is right. We both want this to an extent. Without the bear, I would have... But still, if not for Gerrald, Jo won't be courting me either. I stop my thinking and just let myself fall into Jo's comfort, that strong, warm, furry grey wolf that is also my best friend. Irreplaceable.

We stand and huddle each other for how long, I don't really know. But the sun has almost set down by the time I decide to let go of Jo. I think Jo wishes to hug longer, but standing and hugging in public isn't the most comfortable thing, and I believe we have work to do, and there's still school tomorrow...

Jo tries to hold me by my waist with one of his arm as we continue our way back home, but I swat his paw away, "Don't get over-excited, Jo."

Jo grins at me, "At least I'm one step closer, closer to your heart."

I look at Jo with my muzzle slightly open. Since when Jo says this kind of things...? I... guess there's a first for everything, this is Jo's first time courting someone after all...

"Why do you want me, anyway? I'm no more than an average person, I'm not super smart, I look... bad, but you, you have many suitors..." I question him. Actually, I have been wanting to ask him about this too. I mean, Jo has looks, has a body, and has a unique personality. I feel greedy just by taking away his attention. I'm sure many will want him if he asks, just look at the number of girls. Compared to me, oh come on. I can't even compare myself to him.

"Hmm, I don't know, you make me feel happy, you have a nice coat of fur, you look great enough for me to get... Well, does it matter? So long as I'm satisfied, even if you're the ugliest person in the world, I'll still go for you. But give yourself a little credit will you? My taste isn't THAT bad." Jo says, acting hurt.

"I... I just thought that you deserve better. I'm sure you can find someone compatible easily, and I've never been wanted by anyone before, so..." I say.

"Why can't that someone be," Jo says, grabbing me with both his arms and lifting me a foot off the ground, "you?" I yelp in surprise while he puts me down and laughs, "There's a first for everything; never wanted by anyone? Then I'll be your first."

I blush at his words as I feel the heat rise to my muzzle. Jo giggles at my reaction, seemingly satisfied with his words.

We turn around the corner and we arrive at my house. Jo swiftly gives my cheek a quick peck and he dashes away, yelling goodbye. I stand there, only to realise his actions a few moments later, leaving me annoyed at Jo, but there's also a smile on my muzzle.

What to do? I melt at the smallest gestures of affection. I shake my head and return home.

I open the door with my keys and walk to my room. My mum is watching some drama on the TV. Great, a distraction, she won't be nagging anytime soon yet.

I rush to my room and finish up my schoolwork. As I answer the last question, I thought about my day. So much has happened. Sitting beside Gerrald, tugging tails in tests, and the hug earlier...

I... I should let my heart settle soon. If I want to give up on Gerrald, then I should do it soon. I tap on my phone and scroll down my contacts, stopping at '?'.

What should I really do now?

I press the home button and switch off the screen. I don't want to think too much... yet.