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Chapter 5: A New Encounter

Jason

'I just hate those pushy teachers who are constantly evaluating you! Mind your own business!' Jason was always irritable when woken up, and more after the dream he just had. Sleeping was the only time he had to have peace, and now he could even get it anymore. What he'd said after was all something he thought about; he realized over the summer that no matter how much you try to share your life with someone, to relate in society, you are really by yourself. He found this responsibility too much to bear now: he was unhappy most of his high school years and he was the only one to blame because he didn't try enough to turn the tables. He avoided social because he feared he'd be judge all the time; he always thought he could manage his life alone.

'It's always easier to just ignore the problem and pretend you're okay: you always think something or someone will come to save you and make it better again.' How wrong he was then. Now he was filled with regrets, haunted by his past over and over again.

His following class wasn't more captivating: the teacher presented himself and talked for about an hour before letting us go, saying she had finished what he had to do. It was eleven now and he still wasn't hungry. He had nothing to do and soon found himself visiting the new area around college that was now his. The surroundings were more rural than at high school, but he was glad he could still spot a park near: about five minutes away on feet. Other than that, he noticed a great number of shops were set up all around campus. He spotted a Tim Horton very close and decided to stop by to pick up a coffee; he wasn't all that sleepy now that he had slept an extra hour, but he had still slow reactions, his mental state clearly affecting his body.

The shop smelled strongly of coffee, he noticed. He saw few furs sitting on the tables with their hot cups of liquid, slowly letting the caffeine replace the hours of sleep they'd missed. He went towards the counter to order, and found himself in front of a tall white bunny. "Uh, I'll take a tall coffee with milk and sugar please."

She laughed. "Coffee suddenly is popular today, but you look in worse shape than any other fur I've served until this morning!"

Jason brushed the back of his head while tilting his face a little downward. "Really? I...guess I do." He found the reflection of himself in the plate glass window that covered the different kinds of doughnuts. His eyes were barely open and one side of his muzzle was incredibly flat compared to the other one, having slept on his side in class being the cause of his permanent stuck-up fur. He winced back at his transparent self.

The rabbit looked behind him before speaking again. "What, is there anything wrong?" She had prepared his order, but still had her paw on top of it. Jason was kind of surprised by the question and quickly thought about something to say that would made sense, but he realized he didn't want to. Also, she looked sincere while she asked, and Jason found his look kind of comforting.

"Well, it's nothing really serious, but... It's just some fur I know; I just can't explain the sudden change of behaviour... We kind of lost touch for a while and...and...nah, it is stupid."

"Come on, tell me! What happened between you two?"

"I don't know, it's just... We were great friends before, but I never knew what was wrong. I'd ask about it only to find myself lied to like everything would be fine. I felt I wasn't trusted, then I'd be avoided and... I'm tired of it now.

"Well, does your friend still want to talk to you?" She asked and patiently waited for the fox to answer.

"Yeah...I guess, but I don't. I'm still pissed about it! I can't figure out why it...bothers me so much."

She had the serious look in his eyes, like my problem was concerning her too. "Well, there's a reason for everything. Sometimes things are hard to tell people, even for best friends, you know? Just give it some time... I'm sure it's not as bad as you think." She winked at him with a smile, but Jason didn't get it.

"So... What, I have to wait now?" 'I was confused because I didn't understand why waiting could change anything. I have waited all my life, and look where it got me.'

"Well, not waiting, but showing that you are there and that you care. If you stay angry, I doubt anyone is going to trust you enough to open up, don't you think"

"Yeah, I guess... Thanks for those advise", Jason replied.

"It was my pleasure!"

"Here, keep the change." He handed her a five dollar bill and she gladly accepted it with a smile. Jason turned his back to her and headed outside. Before the door closed behind him, he heard a loud "I sure hope you get her!" He turned his back to her to find the same white rabbit with a smirk on his face.

'Well it was worth talking to her', Jason thought. 'She got it all wrong...' Jason sighed loudly and made his way to the park. It was smaller than the other one he used to go often to think about his life in high school, but it was really well designed. Everything -bench, plants, trees- had his place to create a peaceful and welcoming area. He spotted a bench near a volleyball field and extended his body to all his length on the wooden curves, looking at the sky.

'Someday... Maybe someday I'll be happy...' But he didn't believe that himself. 'It was always like this before and it will stay that way. I'm just not interesting enough, too bland, too out of shape, too pessimist, too quiet, too-' He could continue like this all day but stopped himself to try to calm down. He didn't want to feel depressed again.

[...]

He went back to his locker to pick up his snack and went back to the cafeteria. He spotted the black wolf easily, but unfortunately, an otter was sitting beside him, waving at Jason. He didn't have the strength to pretend anymore in front of his friends, and none other spotted him. He just walked past Sam's table and set up his lunch on a clear table, with his still not-empty coffee.

His eyes were fixed most of the time on what he was eating, ignoring the world around he was trapped in. He lifted his eyes after he got tapped on the shoulder. He turned his head in annoyance, predicting it would surely be Sam trying to fetch him back, but was surprised as it was in fact a vixen wearing a white top with light blue jeans.

"I'm sorry", she said, "all the other tables seem to be taken already. Could I sit here?" He didn't want to oppose to the shy smile she was wearing while she asked him.

"Sure", he said, "there's no one coming anyway."

"Thanks, she sat while she sat up at the other end of the round-shaped table. He continued eating in silence, head down. He thought back about what the rabbit said to him before. 'Damn, I didn't even ask for her name.' He slammed his paw on his forehead: she has been nice enough to listen to him, yet he didn't even know who she was. 'About what she'd said... was he really going to trust him now?' He remembered the countless times he had swallowed all his pain under a façade in front of Sam: 'why now? If he couldn't then, why would he now?' He turned his head towards a window, and caught the girl in front of him stare at his face, then look away from the corner of his eye.

'I know I look funny, don't remind me', he said to her in his head. He was about to stand up and leave, but he saw a black paw slap the side of his shoulder with force.

"So there you are!" He was wearing a big goofy grin. "I don't blame you, flirting with some hot girl..." He said it loud enough for her to hear it as well.

He turned furiously his head towards him. "What are you talking about? It's not like that." The fox turned his head back to the vixen in front of him to apologize.

"Ah, it's nothing", she said, but Jason could see she was blushing. Jason turned his head back to Mark.

"What games are you playing?" He said it with a low voice.

"Woops, my mistake." Of course he didn't look all that sorry. "I'm glad I found you; I was about to check out the gym. They say they have a body-building room and it's opened on Tuesday and Thursday at lunch. Want to check it out with me?"

"I'll think I'll pass. I don't feel like moving around too much today. Plus, this kind of exercise is not really my thing; you should have known by now."

Mark didn't let him go just yet. "That's because you had quit too soon. If you'd continued on working out and stopped caring about what other furs were saying about you then, you would be the one laughing at them!"

"Whatever", Jason said. He hated being reminded of this; bringing up bad memories only made him more depressed. "You're good at it because you have a reason for doing it; it is required to play football."

"That's not true; the workouts we need to play football are done during practice. Coach always makes us do a series of push-ups and assigns us some running to do after practice, to make sure we gave everything we had."

"Then, why are you doing all this, in addition with the training you already have?"

"Because I can't get enough of the kick of it. That's something that makes me proud afterward and it helps me to not think about things. I thought I'd bring you in, since you weren't feeling like yourself this morning. Sometimes, not thinking too much is really what we need to get better."

He looked pretty much convinced by his theory. Of course, he didn't know anything about what was going on through his head. Not thinking was the worst think he can do, since he reconsidered most of the choices he had made in life. It was because he got tired of it that he decided to do something about it, to change the person he hated so much. Plus, he already felt tormented mentally, he didn't want to be in pain physically too.

"Go on without me, Mark. You could tell me about it later." Jason made no way to get up, so Mark just left him there with a "it's your loss then."

"Damn, you friend is quite sized. I guess he already is registered for the football team of High Academy then?"

"Yeah, it was all arranged with his previous coach that he could play football for the team in college three months ago. He was really glad when he finally had his answer, although he doesn't want to make it a career."

'Why am I telling her that much. She won't care, she doesn't even know Mark. Unless she wants to...'

"Good for him... Anyway, pecs the size of a football ball doesn't do it too much to me", she said looking away.

Jason considered her for a moment. She looked innocently back at him with her wide open blue eyes. He didn't know what to answer to that, so he just said "yeah...me neither..."

He'd said it in the purpose of a joke, but that remark didn't quite have the result expected. The vixen searched for his eyes, trying to determine if he was serious. Jason found himself blushing again and now he got uncomfortable. "I...have to go now." He couldn't stand looks like those anymore. He was getting so many for the past few weeks. "It was nice talking to you", he muttered before disappearing around a corner.

Having nothing to do for another hour, he fetch out the iPod out of his bags and put the earplugs on. He sat up on some bench in a deserted hallway and surfed through his favourites songs.

[...]

Next class was math. He walked through the door to find empty only seats at the back, which one was besides Sam already sitting and looking straight at him. Jason immediately avoided his gaze and took his seat to the other end of the class. The class began soon after with the call of order of a tall brown ferret, wearing glasses and a Hawaiian shirt. Of course, he had to begin his class with a revision from what we were suppose to have learned before summer break because most students just forget all their lessons over vacations.

After 10 minutes, the teacher was interrupted by an open door, followed by a familiar voice. "I'm sorry; I couldn't find the local right away", the vixen said. She quickly glanced around the room and paused her eyes on me and smiled shyly. She made her way to the empty desk beside me, ears folded because of the interruption she'd caused.

"That's okay", he said with a calm voice. "Mrs..."

"Farrel. Stephanie Farrel."

He slowly nodded and went back to the board. After fifteen minutes of long, but useful revision, someone tapped Jason's shoulder.

"Do you understand any of it?" She said it with a low voice and with an astonished expression on his face. She didn't look like she was kidding, so I whispered back.

"Well, sure, it's only revision", Jason said with conviction. "Don't you remember?"

"I've never seen how to factorize like that; I'm not from around here, I moved out only two weeks ago..."

"Really? From where?" He was intrigued now.

"Brazil. My parents had chosen to send me here because the high educational level I'd get for my future job."

'Funny. I wouldn't have known... She even doesn't have an accent.'

"Wow. You already have planned what you want to do?" He looked at her, waiting for an answer.

She giggled at his question, though she made sure to keep most of it quiet. "Well, yeah, don't most of the people who actually chose a program at a prestigious college knows where they're going."

"I don't", he confessed. "Most of my friends don't know either. Geez, thanks, I thought I was normal before talking to you."

"So now it's my fault?" She said it with a playful tone, lifting his tail, brushing her back by making movement from left to right through the chair she sat on. "You should start to think about it... It gets easier to hold on in class", she truthfully spoke.

"I can see that; you don't even listen to the revision the teacher is giving even though you've never learned it before-"

"Do you two have something to say to the class, at the back?" He heard as his ears perked instinctively toward the shout of the teacher.

"N...no mister", Jason muttered out as he turned his body under the desk, looking straight ahead.

"Good", he said before speaking numbers again. He noticed Sam had turned around when the teacher spoke and he was still looking at him now, with his sharp blue eyes. He wasn't moving; he made no attempt to communicate. He just...observed, like those baby eyes that are constantly drawn to you because you're the center of his world. When the little guy's depending on you and you're the only one who could protect him. Like that. Jason shifted uncomfortably in his chair, turning a little so he couldn't see him while looking at the board.

The teacher was kind enough to let us work in teams to make sure we understand, although I wouldn't be getting much help in academic term.

"So", she said. "How about you summarize the steps we need to get to the answer, I'm kind of lost now.

I sighed, although it didn't really bug me. I showed her some of the approach on board, commenting each one. She looked at me with wide opened eyes, nodding from time to time.

"No, that's not it. Listen." I pointed out her notebook on the first expression. "The second term is your b and your last is your c. Now, you have to find two numbers, that, added up together, give you your initial b, and the multiplication should give you your c."

"Like this?" She drew herself closer to me, giving me a better look of her...um...notes. I couldn't figure out if it was intentional or not.

"Yes...that's it", he said as he stopped squinting down. "Now try this one." She was getting it now, but I challenged her to do a tricky one this time. I could see she was struggling to get the answer and I laughed inside, guessing she was trying to get it on her own so she wouldn't look stupid.

"How can you have a positive b and a negative c?", she said after a while. She tilted her head, an ear staying upward still while the other was folded behind his head. I was looking right at her, and once her ear went down, I could see Sam in the background, shoulders retrieved on his self, looking at his notebook and nothing else. I could see he wasn't working at all because his pen stayed still in his paws. Sam wasn't the kind of guy who had difficulties in math. In fact, he took this program because of his abilities in resolving.

Jason noticed then that the room was quite noisy. He looked around to see everyone had team up, talking loudly, except Sam. He was at the back, isolated like some kind of infected. He was about to call out his name, looking miserable all alone, but something in him got the best of him. Reminiscence. 'It's his fault for being left out like this! What was I thinking? How many times has he turned me down? He's not a real friend; no one is!' His teeth were grinding together, exposing his canines now. He didn't notice until he heard a voice.

"What?", she said a little panicked. "If you don't like helping me, you could just-" His eyes opened wide again, looking back at her face, releasing the muscles of his maw. "No! That's not it! ...sorry" he apologized. He put on his mask again and began showing her. He made no more stupid moves until the teacher took the lead of the class again.

The rest of the class went smoothly. When the bell rang, he packed his stuff in his bag and was about to leave, when Stephanie tapped his shoulder. I was glad she wanted to talk to me, but I found the gesture quite pestering.

"You know, if you want to get someone's attention, voice works too", he said as a joke.

"Well that's the thing", she responded. "I don't even know your name."

"Oh...eh, yeah, sorry. It's Jason. Jason Henderson."

"Glad to meet you. Stephanie Farrel, in case you've forgotten already." He laughed at his comment. "Listen, I don't want to abuse, but...could we meet some other time, so you can teach me some more? I'd ask the teacher, but I feel like I'll learn twice as fast with you rather than just someone with a piece of paper to prove their abilities. They just talk Chinese sometimes..." Jason didn't see that one coming. He didn't consider himself really that good in calculus and even less in teaching.

"Yeah, I know what you mean", he said, blushing a little. "Um, sure, why not?"

"Sweet", she said with a high-pitched tone that surely failed to hide her excitement. "How about tomorrow? When are you off?"

"Noon, I guess; I don't have any classes after."

"What? You're so lucky! I always finish late. Anyway, I'm off at noon too. So how about we meet for lunch and we work on math after?"

Sam

'Who was that? I didn't see her before.' He was waiting for Jason to come out of the doorway after class to corner him this time, but both he and that girl stayed inside. 'He didn't show up at dinner and now this? Damn it!' He restrained himself from poking his head in and left, starting to feel angry. At Jason, yes, but more at himself. He walked his head down in the empty hallway, returning to his saddened expression he tried to hide all day. Ricky wasn't fooled at his act at dinner but he ignored his pestering questions by answering vaguely. He turned a corner and suddenly bounce into something, that bounced back in return, falling on his tail and hearing himself moan in pain.

"Sorry", he heard a voice saying. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I think. Nothing broken." He lifted his eyes to see his friend, Ricky.

"Oh, it's you! Better be careful... Where are you coming from?", he asked as he handed up his paw. Ricky lifted him up, eying his tail to see if anything was wrong with it.

"Math", he said with a low voice.

"Cool. That means you were with Jason. Where is he, speaking of which? He didn't eat with us."

"I don't know", he said with the same tone. "I have to go now; I'm off and I have to help my father do some business at home."

'Damn... Really not in the mood to invent a story!' He walked passed his shoulder, going in the opposite direction he was facing. "See ya, Ricky."

"Is there something wrong with you?"

He stopped, back still turned at his friend who was now looking at his back. His tail lashed the ground and twitched in heritance. 'Again? Lose it, understand! What would it bring me to tell you all this, you'll only run away from me once you'll know!' "Like I said... Everything's fine", he said sounding annoyed. He continued walking further away.

"Wait, I'll walk with you", he said catching up with him.

Sam said nothing more and he didn't want to either. 'Ricky will bore himself up pretty quickly', he thought.

"So... How are your parents?"

"They're fine, like always. Why?"

"Dunno." Silence. "School's alright?"

'Now I see where he's getting at: don't worry, I won't drop any hint for you.' "Yeah, maths sounds alright!" He put the biggest smile on his face as he could. "Still easy though", followed by his tongue sticking out.

"That's cool. You still got your job then?"

"Yep! Less hours though, hopefully."

Ricky didn't bother respond to this one. He looked discouraged now and stopped talking. Sam approached his car, unlocking his doors. "Look, if anything is bothering you, don't hesitate to tell me. I'm your friend."

Ricky

"Look, if anything is bothering you, don't hesitate to tell me", he said. "I'm your friend."

"Yeah", he heard. 'I didn't get a helpful answer this time too and now I really have to catch my class. I'll be a little late but I was too worried for Sam to leave him like this. I don't know what had happened over the summer but I've never seen him like this. I can't stop thinking that it has to do something with Jason! What has happened between those two?'

Sam soon got in his car, not even saying goodbye; he left Ricky standing there motionless as he drove away when Ricky was still lost in his thoughts. 'Why is he...always like this? I can't figure it out. Even if we hang out together for a while now, I never had the chance to know him well.'

He went up in his art class, the problem still in his thought, where the teacher asked the students for their first class to draw something on paper so he could know where the average level of the class stood. They had two hours to do so, and he said they could draw anything they wanted; the only condition was that it would be something that meant to them. In other words, he wanted us to draw the best piece of work he could get from us in a limited amount of time.

"Don't worry, your drawing won't be hung up on the board and it will stay confidential. You'll get it next class. I just want to take a look at the different style of art we have this semester."

Ricky already had an idea on what to draw. He had started it yesterday and now he had the time, so might as well finish it... His pencil brushed on the soft paper of his notebook, making curves by curves the furs he wanted to draw. He didn't like to stop in the middle of drawing because he would then lose the hole picture in his head and could end up after two or three other sessions of drawing with a completely other sketch. This time, though, he couldn't think of anything else to draw in his mind than what he'd first planned. It was something he had dreamed of for a long time now and he had thought of all the details he wanted to put in before beginning drawing.

After an hour, he looked at his still unfinished drawing and started to erase some parts, unsatisfied. He saw that some furs were struggling as well, guessing they had less experience in drawing and thinking it was the ultimate test to see if they were really admitted in the program. He rarely pictured himself in his drawings, but now it was necessary. That's why he had been struggling with this one: he didn't know how to draw himself from that angle, the back of his head being rarely seen by himself, and still being somewhat recognizable.

After an hour and a half, he finished his curves and began to add shading. 'It's the easier part', he said to himself, 'now that I know all the proportions are respected and well defined.' He completed it just in time and grinned at the finally finished piece of art. He was really proud of it; not like those other ones where he would complain about all the details that were wrong. Somehow his opinion was more subjective for this one.

He handed his drawing with the rest of the group and noticed the teacher jumped a little when he handed it to him. He didn't know by what he was surprised especially, but he had an idea of it. Anyway, the teacher didn't say anything so he just left with the rest of group, a grin still on his face.

Jason

He finally got home again, but no one was there. He'll have to get used to coming home early. He always had the urge to eat right after as supper would be served, but now it was only four and he was already hungry. He ignored his stomach and got to his room, laying flat on his bed. His mind wandered off as he recalled the scene he made in philo. His tail hit the covers of his bed angrily to that thought.

'Although, now that I think about it, that vixen was pretty sexy.' He was actually looking forward to go to school tomorrow, so he could see her. "It's probably nothing", he said to himself, "but still... She looked forward into seeing me again." He remembered the words Mark have said over lunch time: 'I don't blame you, flirting with some hot girl...' He shook his head with a smile on his face. "Nah, you're wrong..." He heard a knock on his door, followed by a vixen's head poking in his room.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Jason didn't respond. "Your father won't be coming home tonight. I'm sorry for what happened last night."

Jason was still angry, but his conscience got the best of his. "I am too; I shouldn't have reacted that way. It was way out of proportions", he lied.

His mother only smiled a little, before continuing. "You don't have to, it's just... sometimes it breaks my heart to see you like this", she confessed.

"Like what?" He challenged her to pin out his problem with a little more arrogance in his tone. She didn't answer, of course. "Whatever. You know, it's not by calling dad that you'll be able to make your point", he snarled out. "I hate him. I hate everything about him: his manners, his indiscretion, his way to speak like he's always above us all. I can't take it."

"Oh, sweetie, just give him a chance, will you? You know he's been through some issues of his own, and now he just want to make it up to you."

"Well he can't; make sure he knows that. I won't pretend we magically get along well just to please him anymore; he stopped being my dad a long time ago and now he have to stop acting like he still was!"

His mother signed and closed the door lightly, saying nothing more. After an hour, it was time for dinner. Raj and his mother were talking about something when he came in, and they suddenly both got silent. They all ate together, the sound of dishes being the only one we could hear in the house. He finished and he could hear talking again before he closed his door. He was pretty tired, so he just stayed still in front of the TV of his room all night, until he was too sleepy for his eyes to stay open...