12/21/2012 4: Harsh Reality
#4 of 12/21/12
Logen did not know where she was; neither did she know why she was there. She had nothing to live for, nothing to do; the life she had had up until now she hated because it was all pain and suffering. She now sat trying to suppress the memories of the lab she had run from. She did not like it. The needles with the substance that made her head hurt. Then she remembered why she escaped, and how.
The people, who were testing things at her, had started testing with fire. They had already tested all kinds of poisons, drowning her, and they had tried making her suffer; trying to make her cry without killing her. The result was always the same. Many years of suffering was what she endured.... Then, as they were going to try burning her, she had had enough. She became one with the element she had been exposed to, and killed all the scientists. With her rage, she shouted and cried for many days before she got to her senses again. By then, she did not know what to do, so she had simply ran away from it all. She had decidedly lit the lab on fire before she had left, however, so she was and would be the only subject that had been caught of her race and she was glad that she was.
Logen now just sat there trying to suppress the memories that she had now and she did not know anymore what to do with her life. Where to go, whom to trust, what to do everyday. None of that came naturally to her at this point. Logen's mental state had eased a bit... but she was stuck remembering what she did. Unknown to any of them, Logen was close to where Raven and Vasily were.... She had never felt anything but pain. Nothing more and nothing less than pain, although she had become used to it. It was a huge change to not feeling. Overall, she hated the feelings she had felt in the past! True happiness, she knew, had come from when she had killed the ones that had been torturing her to the point of where she was going mad.
She sighed heavily, wondering what to do next.
Raven took a hot shower inside the cabin. She wrapped herself in a towel, and walked outside with her wet clothes. She wringed them out and laid them out to dry. She found herself alone outside, and she hugged herself looking around, getting a slight sensation that there was somebody nearby watching her. In fact, there had been somebody.
Vasily walked outside going back out to his truck and tank. He quickly took off his shirt changing into an undershirt displaying his nicely muscled arms. He went over, climbed on his tank, and laid on the top hatch, letting the slowly cooling metal warm him.
Raven jumped hearing someone. She stood up quietly and walked towards the other side of the cabin. She saw him and blushed as she stood there, biting her bottom lip, almost forgetting she was only in a towel. She blushed a deep crimson and took a step back behind a corner of the cabin. She took a quick moment to regain herself before she took a deep breath and looked around the corner again.
Vasily heard her moving around. "Raven is it?" He called out into the still darkness. "May I ask you something?"
Raven blushed, hearing her name. "Y-yes." She said quietly, "W-what is it you ask of?"
Vasily smiled a little. "What exactly is your story here? Everyone seems to hate you, then love you, and it would seem that you hate everyone, and then you are fine. And you're hanging out in weird water balls." He trailed off hoping she got what he was trying to ask.
"Oh!" Raven bit her bottom lip, "Well I-I'm not normal.... If that's what you mean." She slowly stepped out of the shadows, showing her golden eyes, her black tail and ears. She looked down and continued, "And that bubble drained some of my anger." She sighs, "I was an experiment. They made me into a machine, and with one word I become unstoppable." She hugged herself, her tail wrapping around her waist. She felt cool air against her back and she blushed a little looking down at her still towel-wrapped body.
Vasily Romanov smiled a little. "Wow that is so cool." He said jumping off the tank. He kept smiling as he started holding and touching her tail before she knew what hit her. "That's awesome...." He said examining it. "I don't think I've ever seen anything cooler that this." He said smiling.
Raven blushed a little, watching him. "T-thank you?" She said with more of a question. She smiled softly, her tail moving in his hands, but she smiled softly.
Romanov did not notice and quickly stood up, dropping her tail and moving on to rubbing her cat ears. "Wow!" He muttered, very aware that he sounded like a 12-year-old kid but this was just too much. Raven giggled as she felt him rubbing her ears and started to purr. She smiled. Romanov stepped back, staring at her a moment. "Oh, my God! You purr, too! How awesome is that!" He said before rubbing her again, smiling at the throaty sound coming from her.
Raven blushed. "Yes I do." She felt him rubbing her again and she could not help but to purr once again. She smiled softly, looking up at him with her golden eyes. "Well... that's not all I can do." Raven said smiling softly.
Vasily looked at her, rubbing her ears faster. "What else can you do?" He asked eagerly looking in her eyes thinking he has never seen any that were cooler.
Raven laughed. "Well... I can change forms." She sat down and turned into a black kitten. Smiling and meowing, she looked up at him.
Vasily just about fell over. He was so impressed that he forgot how to breathe shortly. Gasping he muttered, "Whoa!" He scooped up the kitten petting it. Raven giggled and purred. She curled up in his arms as he petted her.
Vasily smiled, blushing. "I love cats." He said, laughing lightly and climbing back up on the tank. Sitting on the hatch petting and stroking Raven, getting under her chin and between its eyes, he began to enjoy what he was doing to her.
Raven laughed. "You don't know how good that feels!" She smiled purring. She rubbed her face against his hand smiling.
Romanov smiled absentmindedly thinking of all the possibilities of a cat woman. "Mmm I can only imagine." He said grinning at her, turning the kitten on its back rubbing its tummy. Raven smirked, and then purred, as she lightly touched his hands with her paws as he rubbed her belly. She smiled.
At the exact moment when Raven was smiling, a bolt of lightning struck, not far from them. It was channeled through Logen, an 11 year-old girl laying there with her hands over her face, hiding in the shadows of the cabin. Logen just began to think, one thought coming into her mind for a longer time than the others did. Oh, why couldn't the lightning just kill me or something? This life is too much for me! Then the lightning did strike into her. She did not even feel it, and she liked it, but she did not know why. The pain was not there anymore, and she felt only a sudden rush of happiness. What was this feeling, this happy feeling? It was in the wind as well, the happy feeling that was in the lightning and in the trees, and even in the fire, and in the water that soon started to fall down on her.
Vasily Romanov grinned at the kitten, rubbing it just a bit more before setting it to the side. "I gotta put you down otherwise I never will!" He said smiling.
Raven laughed. "It's okay!" She jumped after hearing the lightning. She sat down and turned back into her half form. she almost fell off of Vasily's lap, but she gripped onto his arm. "What was that?" She asked looking around.
Vasily smiled watching her jump. "Just lightning!" He said before gently loosening her grip himself. "Those claws don't get any less sharp in your half form you know...." He muttered.
Raven blushed and made her nails less sharp. "I'm sorry." Her ears flattened down. Romanov smiled at her, before taking one of the ears in his fingers and pulling it back up. She certainly looked funny with one ear pointing straight up the other one flat on her head.
The lightning was really close to them and they could actually see it go into the girl sitting there. Logen smiled and felt the power while it rushed through her. Logen sat there, and she smelled her burnt hair, so she was completely sure that now the people could smell burned hair.
Raven blushed, and she slapped his hand playfully. "Hey! Don't make fun of me!" She pouted, looking out and seeing the new girl. "Huh?" she said confused. "Who's that?"
Logen had another feeling that she had not felt. Ever. It was a hollow feeling; a feeling that she could say was saddening but was not sad, as it was properly described in the database she had formed inside of her mind. She did not know what feeling it was, but in other people's minds, it would be described as loneliness. She struggled briefly to figure out what the word was to describe her emotions.
Raven hopped off the truck and landed on her hands and feet. She turned into a kitten and padded up to this new girl. She looked up at Logen with soft, friendly golden eyes. She meowed softly and she rubbed herself against Logen, purring softly, showing her that she was of no harm.
Logen was in her human form at this point. However, she knew she could become snow leopard if she wanted to at any time. Logen smiled, but she had never done so before, and so she did not know how beautiful she looked when doing so. Like many things, it came naturally to her, and she smiled and cuddled the cat. It was the first creature that had the slightest resemblance to her, as her true form was. She cuddled the cat more, and she did not know herself how it felt to speak, because she had not done so in the 11 years that she had been a captive in the laboratory the nice tone was pure and kind. Nevertheless, she finally spoke to the kitten she held.
"So do you have a home to go to?" she cuddled Raven again.
Raven smiled softly. "It's like a home." She purred. Logen did not seem surprised that this kitten was talking. "Do you? If you don't, you can stay with me in the cabin, there are others but they are kind to us."
Logen smiled back to her, though she was a bit saddened by the thought of others being hurtful, but she was surprised that Raven had said they were kind. Then Logen said, "Well... no. i don't have a home, I would like to stay with you!"
Raven smiled. "That's good!" She hopped out of her arms and turned into her half form. "My name's Raven!" She said smiling softly, as her tail swished happily.
Logen looked at the creature. Her mind's database told her it was a cat, and said while stroking Raven's tail gently, "That's a nice name! My name is Logen!"
Raven smiled. "Thank you, nice to meet you Logen!"
Vasily smiled a little watching the new girl play with and talk to the kitten. He yawned a little lying back on his tank and closing his eyes, soon he was sleeping.
Joshua came out back, frustrated to know that everything had been falling apart lately. If Raven and Lexi did not start to get along soon, they all might die. He continued to ponder on what to do next.
That is when he saw Raven as a kitten talking to a newer girl. Despite his best interests, and the fact he figured that it was starting to get crowded in the cabin now, he smiled, smoothed himself into a calm state, and headed towards the new person.
"Name's Joshua. This is a cabin for the refugees that survived yesterday's attacks. There are a lot of us here, and I suppose..." Joshua paused. Did he really want to ask this person this? "I suppose you can stay as well if you'd like to." Joshua smiled weakly.
There goes an extra week worth of survival, he thought grimly to himself. His niceness and will to help others was going to catch up with him soon and then he would have a bunch of people together and no food. They would all die sooner if he kept adding people to the list. Despite this, his generosity always got the better of him, and now was no exception. "Please, tell me who are you and come inside; won't you have a rest?"
Logen smiled and said to the man who called himself Joshua and said, "Well, what I call myself is Logen and I would love to stay. I have no other place to go so, why not?"
Logen knew the definition on everything, but she had to experience the things for what they were before knowing exactly what the definition was. She now knew two more things that she had been waiting to know better. The definition of 'friend' that she had stored in her brain was 'another person that you can rely on, and has a good attitude against you,' and this she had to know better! In addition, on food, another thing she had never had in her entire life. She smiled in happiness.
Joshua smiled. "Please, Logen. Come in. Moreover, do not mind the chaos going on. We are all just a little... edgy today. I mean, with all that's happened we're all practically jumping down each other's throats at this point." Joshua laughed, because he wanted to make light of the situation, it depressed him way too much. "But now that you're here, things should turn up."
Logen smiled still, she said, "Well then, what is happening today? I wonder if I can help." Logen just sat there on the couch. She had remembered what she did, what she had heard, and what she had in her pocket. It was a little gift from her mother, her creator. She decided that she would open it, and inside it, an inscription said, "You are the One. You must fight to find your destiny in this broken world. You must try to fix it!" She sighed and mumbled something to herself.
Joshua grew stern. "Unfortunately, I'm not sure now if you can help or not. That little kitten you were petting is Raven. She and another girl, Lexi, were fighting and I had to break them up. It is all starting to fall apart really and I doubt that if we continue to spar and fight this way, we are all going to die before we can find out what is truly going on out there. If we're all that has made it or not."
Vasily woke up hearing Joshua; he shook his head doing some more calculations. At this rate, they would starve within the week. He groaned loudly not really wanting to do this. He would probably end up starving like the rest if he did nothing. "Joshua!" He cried running up to him. "Listen. Uhm in the back of my truck I have a couple hundred pounds of MRE's freeze-dried food and some rations. I was not going to give them up, but I guess now that things have changed... I'd be happy to share them with you guys." He said looking at him.
Joshua pulled Vasily aside. He took him far aside to talk to him alone, leaving Logen for a moment. "Look, Vas. I know what you are thinking. I have done the math, and I have reached a decision. It wasn't a good decision, but it's a necessary one." Joshua sighed angrily, angry with himself for making such a decision alone, "I've decided that since we're all going to die, why not just let everybody come in and stay. We will have more company while we all starve to death. I have done the math, Vasily. We will be dead before the week is out with our household supplies. Then another week of hunting until the forest is clean of food. We are not made to live, I do not think, without food after that. I would give us two and a half weeks total and we start to die of starvation. It is a grim decision and I know you think me mad, but I think we ought to leave it at that. It is obvious that nobody was meant to survive yesterday. The effects of yesterday will strongly affect the rest of the world from now on. Even if we did survive a month, the fallout from the warheads, the global cooling as all this stuff in the air blocks the sun, will kill us all eventually, even with plentiful food. Best-case scenario then would have been a year. However, we do not have a year. We're not going to make a year the way we're going." Joshua lowered his head in shame, "I'm a fool to accept anybody that comes my way, looking like the need help. I am just a nice person and I do not think it has always been that way. My wife died a few years back, and since then I've tried to appreciate humanity... unlike I did my wife." He continued to sigh, "I'm coming undone, Vas. You may very well have to use your rations for us to survive maybe one more week. The generator is strong. She will not go for a few days. After that, we live in darkness permanently. Up with sun, down with it too. Then when the dust and dirt is clouding the air, darkness permanently. I've done the math." Joshua restated, "I know you're going to say I've lost it, that I've gone crazy, but I think it's best we just die... why prolong death and experience total darkness and then choking on the rest of the world's bombs and viruses and chaos? When we can just go peacefully before it all gets here."
It was true that Joshua had gone truly mad. He admitted he knew he was, but at this point, he did not care anymore. The truth was simple, he did not care about anybody's life anymore, not even his own. The sad truth was hidden with Joshua's smile and hopeful words, but now talking to Vasily, his true intentions and his true feelings and his true reality was clear; Joshua had not dragged these people up here to escape LA because he had dragged them here to die peacefully.
"Please, Vasily... bring your rations in." Joshua said quietly
Vasily stared at him a moment before slowly nodding and walking out to his truck. "That man is completely insane!" He muttered, shaking his head and grabbing the first case of about 700 of the MRE's and bringing them inside. "Die peacefully... what the hell is wrong with him?" He asked himself. Well, if things got bad and something happened he could always get out of there with his truck. It had more gas then a Texaco rig and he had checked the engine before he left and the thing was in pristine condition. If some of the others wanted to join him, he was fine with that. There was plenty of room in the bed of the massive truck. He shook his head again, setting down the first case on the porch and heading back to his truck.
Joshua sadly went into the empty bedroom and closed the door, thinking everything through that had happened. Dustin came out of the hot tub and dried off, throwing his clothes back on. He saw Vasily and approached him.
"I'm Dustin. What did you say your name was?" He did not wait for an answer, "Listen, dude. I need your help."
Vasily raised his eyebrows at the kid and set a crate on the ground. "It's Vasily, and what do you need help with?" He asked before sitting on the crate looking at him.
Dustin smiled. "I'm not crazy, Vasily, so I'm not going to kill you." he chuckled lightly. "I want out of here. My dad has lost it. I can see it in his eyes, and from what he told me earlier, I know he is gone. The girls are fighting, and I can't bring myself to stay in this cabin with so many memories anymore..." Dustin felt his eyes tear up up lightly, but held them back as he continued, "I want to know, Vasily. Do you have any way of knowing where we can get out of here to find a safe place? Like... with plenty of food and where I won't be dead within the month?" Dustin hadn't a need to do the math on how long it would take before they all died, he just had the natural intuition to know this many people with this amount of food wouldn't last. He had not even met Logen yet. "I want to get me and my sister out of here. I do not care about my father anymore. He wants us all to die peacefully." Dustin's voice had been rising to a shout, but he quickly lowered it, "My ass we're going peacefully. Look around, Vasily, we are going to kill each other, not starve to death. I want to get out of here and get to a civilization while I still can." Dustin hoped a man with THAT much packed knew where civilization was. Dustin was not crazy yet, he had not suffered from Cabin fever, and he was not an idiot. Possibly, he was the sanest in his family now. He knew getting out of here would be better than staying here and dying. "I hope you know the way out of here and the way to life. You do, right? That's where you were headed, isn't it?"
Vasily Romanov smiled at the boy. He never could quite grasp the intelligence of young people; they seemed to know everything. "Well, my boy, as to answer your first question, I actually came here from a fallout shelter built for the government. That is where I got that truck and the tank. You could probably take your family and stay there comfortably for years. Many more supplies there. I just took what I could fit on my truck." He sighed a little. "As for the human civilization, the most I can tell you is that when I was in the shelter, I couldn't help but notice a few Internet messages on one of the computers. From farther east it seems that people have indeed survived, and there were quite a few saying they were holed up in similar shelters." He smiled at Dustin for a moment, sensing he was following him, and he continued, "I can't tell you where I'm going because I simply don't know. I was just going to drive until I found, as you put it, 'civilization.'" He sighed a little looking down.
Dustin smiled with a gleam in his eye. There was hope for civilization after all? He nearly hugged Vasily in joy to hear those words, but kept his distance because he did not know much about this man. He smiled less, but his wolfish face made him seem more evil when he lost part of his smile. "So... how long do you think it'll be before we all kick the bucket? I know we don't have enough food for six of us to last the week here and hunting, well it's good but this forest can't hold up to our needs I don't think. So how long do you predict before we either starve or rip each other's guts out?"
Vasily looked at him, thinking about lying, but decided against it. "Well... staying here I'd say with the six of you... about 3 weeks. In the shelter probably a little over a year with everyone. Just you and your sister in the shelter... I'd say probably about 3 years." Romanov looked down. "With me and the truck I'd say about 2 weeks." He fell silent looking around.
Grim odds... none of them ended well. Dustin, in defense and not trying to be funny, exclaimed, "Where's the happily ever after!" He calmed down, hoping his sister had not heard that. He sighed as well, "Well, Vasily, thanks. I am glad you are honest... my Dad's twisted mind is starting to get me scared. I'm just hoping he doesn't try to shoot somebody with the hunting rifle... like I heard him doing earlier."
Kristin came out of the room, having stopped reading to see what Dustin was yelling at. She came out and saw Vasily. "Hi, I'm Kristin." her youthful smile and playful tone indicated one of two things. First, she was trying to hide her pessimistic mindset that she was going to die soon, or somebody would soon. Second, it indicated her usual happy greeting for another person. When she wondered what was going on in the kitchen, she found Logen. She said quickly, "What do you think you're doing with the strawberries? Who ARE you?"
Dustin turned to see Logen in the kitchen, but before he left he smiled once again to Vasily. "Whenever you feel like getting outta Dodge, take me with you." He then went into the kitchen, "Who are you? When did you get here?"
Logen suddenly felt hungry. she then thought about a fruit that was in her memories, the one people called the 'strawberry.' then, a faint glow emitted from her left hand and from the ground underneath it, flowers came out and in a massive amount. Then in a few seconds, they just grew, and then, after the seconds had gone by, the strawberries started to take form. Huge strawberries. She then took one up and started eating it. It was enormous in comparison to the real ones, which were maybe a quarter of the size she held now. She smiled and said, "I've always wondered how this thing tasted!" After seeing Kristin and Dustin come into the kitchen, Logen began, "Is this the kitchen of your house? Well then... who am I to say, but it looks a bit empty." She was, of course, referring to the fact that there were so many people there right now and so little food. Logen replied to Dustin's question as she turned to face him, "Well, I'm Logen. Who might you be then?"
"I'm Kristin, my brother Dustin." Kristin pointed to herself, then her brother. "Well then, what are you doing here, Logen? How did you get here, with this other guy?" By other guy, she meant Vasily.
Logen had a smile on her face and she said, "Well, I don't know what direction I came from, but I ended up here. Well, for now... I'm eating these delicious strawberries that seem to grow from this spot...." She took up a huge as an apple strawberry, took a bite and asked, "You want some?"
Kristin started, but refused. She really was not hungry right now. Dustin took it however and split it with his sister. His sister reluctantly ate it, but neither of them truly enjoyed the fruit. "We need to save as much food as we can." Kristin said, "So we don't run out so soon."
Logen continued to smile and be happy. She ate as much as she could until she was utterly stuffed with strawberries.
Kristin gave up, realizing the point was useless. She turned to leave, and Dustin went into the cabin as well. He heard Lexi crying and decided to see if he could help. "Lexi? Are you okay?" He knocked on the door before he entered. He wanted to see if she would let him in.
Raven walked into the cabin and looked around. She changed into some different clothes, before realizing that she had not eaten in a while. She did not feel hungry so she drank some water and walked back outside, yawning and stretching. Her tail swinging from side to side happily, she smiled softly and looked around.
Kristin went out to the porch and glanced around it. Here was the most beautiful thing the world could offer. A mountainous view for miles around, the sky still seeming beautiful, but beginning to cloud up for rain. Thunder rumbled in the distance and the air was hot, but the view made it all seem worth it. Kristin was ashamed she had taken life for granted; now that most of it on Earth was gone.
Raven sighed and she took her hair down and shook it around. She sighed; she did not want life to end. She found that she quite liked it. She walked down the steps and sat on one. She sighed, looking at the flowers and animals. She knew that one day all of it would be gone, the beauty would be destroyed, and she had to wipe away a tear. She knew that her new friends were going to die as well, if not now then later and she did not want that. She wanted them all to live and she hugged herself looking out into the sky.
"Come in, Dustin." Lexi sat straight up and wiped the tears from her eyes. She was upset still from what happened with Raven, not knowing Raven was back to herself. "You know, if we survive, you and I will have to help repopulate the Earth." Lexi was trying to look on the bright side, even if that was hard to do. "I don't know what I would do with out you. Promise you will protect me?" Lexi looked into Dustin's eyes she smiled a weak smile and awaited his response.
Dustin smiled. "I promise, Lexi." He sat down on the bed beside her, throwing his arm around her and holding her head close to his chest while he rested his head on hers. He joked, "You know... out there somewhere somebody else might have to go through the same things." He knew of course, no matter what anybody said that nobody was out there. If there were any people, he would be surprised. "I usually look forwards, towards the future, but I'm not sure if I'm going to like any future from now on. No matter what, people age and die..." Dustin hated sounding like his father, "And eventually, my father, my sister, Raven, Gongon, Vasily, Logen, you and I are all going to die. Maybe not today, but sometime. One of these days, we will not wake up. One of these days... but I am looking forward to living each day to it's fullest until then."
Raven stretched and stood up. She dusted her skirt off and walked down the steps. She looked around wondering what to do. She looked up at the sky and she knew it was going to rain and bit her bottom lip. She sighed, bending down and picking up a blood red rose. She smiled softly as she smelled its sweet fragrance, and then she stuck it in her hair. "I'll put it in water later." She said to herself quietly, walking along the forest edge looking at all of the wild flowers and animals. Raven sat on her knees and smiled softly as she looked at the many flowers surrounding her. She picked them all and started making a flower crown. She made one out of roses, another out of sunflowers. She made them for Lexi and Kristin, in high hopes that they would forgive her. She stood back up and dusted herself off. She picked up the crowns and started walking back inside.
"Thanks, and I know that silly," Lexi knew that everyone was going to die at one point or another, but she would rather not think about that. All of a sudden, she heard something from far away. It sounded like thunder. "Do you hear that Dustin? What is it?"
Dustin shrugged. I do not know, he thought. "I'd rather not go check it out..." he said softly, "Unless it is civilization come back to help us."
Gongon returned to the cabin, various berries and plants gathered in an arm the size of a large ham. He walked in the door. "I foraged the woods to help with our food supplies." He looked about the room. "I believe some introductions are to be made. I am Gongon, former attraction at the Los Angeles Zoo." He turned to Joshua. "Sorry I've been gone for awhile. These things are hard to find when half of the forest is nothing but fused black glass. Seriously, don't go walking barefoot in that stuff." He lifted a hind paw to reveal various wounds and scratches sealed up with dirt.
Joshua nodded. "Thanks for the food, Gon." Joshua had lost his will to live; he knew that somewhere down the road, he was going to die. His response to Gongon mirrored that same attitude. He sighed depressed and went over to the porch where his daughter was standing.
Kristin nodded to her father to acknowledge his arrival. "Hi Dad." He smiled to her. He barely said anything back.
"Hi."
"Ok, you can just lay here with me if you want. We can ignore all the sounds and all the possible death and just lay here, the two of us. We're holding each other forever." Lexi wished she could forget about it all, but she really wanted to know what that noise was that came from outside. Was it a bunch of animals? Where would they be running to and why? Was someone or something coming that the animals themselves were afraid of? She wanted to know it all. Then she tried to calm herself and told herself it was just thunder from the storm.
Joshua stared down the long cliff down. If he jumped now, it would all be over. No more deathly narrow escapes, no more fighting, no more pain. No more anything. He would be with his wife, and he would be happy. He knew it would end eventually, and he even envisioned himself jumping. He tried to decide if it was worth it. His kids were still alive, his daughter three feet away from his side. Would he just abandon them?
Dustin nodded, holding Lexi close. "If anything comes to kill us, I'll protect you." A loud clap of thunder nearby and then the rain began to fall down.
Kristin ran inside, hoping to avoid the rain. "Dad, come inside or you'll get sick!" She called out. Joshua waved her off. He still had thinking to do.
Gongon sensed incoming disaster. He could feel it in his bones. He had to get everyone moving. Nevertheless, with Joshua in his current state, they could not move on. He was sort of the alpha male of the pack, though that new man was clearly a suitable replacement. He had to console him. "You seem upset. What's the matter?" He placed a hand on Joshua's shoulder. It seemed as if the man lost all his energy, almost as if he lost the will to live. If that were the case, his family would not follow until he cheered up, and they would be doomed by... whatever it was.
"Gongon... today is the 23rd of December. In two days, the world will celebrate Christmas. At least, whoever is still alive. I am getting on in age, Gongon, and I will not be here forever. I have been the alpha wolf of my family since Dustin was born, and I have held that position with high honor and dignity each day. My wife died a few years ago, and that made me question the faith I had in life. One should always enjoy each and every day he lives, yet I flaunted around every day going to work to make money for my family, I had time with them and then there was work again. Now I woke up two days ago and started doing the same thing again as I always do. I took every moment for granted, Gongon. I seriously did not think that two days ago I would be spending today in this cabin with these people. I had not expected two days ago that the world was going to be destroyed. Gongon... "Joshua sighed heavily, "I didn't bring us up here to live. I brought us up here to die. I just could not stand the thought of leaving my kids when that first missile went off. I thought for sure things would be fine. Now there are plenty of people here and we are all using our resources like water, food, shelter for granted. We do not have that kind of resource. The more we use, the closer we are to death, Gon. Moreover, I know that the only ones looking up to me are my kids, everybody else though. They are falling apart. Last night Raven and Lexi were fighting. Today two new people show up. I did not intend for this to become a refugee camp, but it has and now I am paying for it. In a few days, this house will lose its food and power in the generator. The world is going to be blanketed with dust and dirt from the fallout. The woods will not hold much food for us. We are all going to die eventually. I..." Joshua was crying at this point, full-blown crying. Tears falling down with the rain and everything. He truly felt it was his time, "I think it's my time to just die. Nobody will miss an old fool like me. I'm just a crazy old fool." Joshua continued to cry.
She heard the rain falling, and Raven felt a drop fall onto her face. She quickly ran back inside, smiling and laughing to herself as she set the crowns down, got on all fours, transforming to a kitten, and shook the water off. She smiled and turned back to her half form. She carried the two flower crowns inside. "Uhm, Kristin." She said seeing her. "C-can I talk to you?"
Kristin turned to see Raven. She did not know what Raven wanted, but she was hoping it was the good Raven. "What is it Raven?"
Gongon slapped the man in the face, sending him skidding across the ground a few feet. "Are you daft, Joshua? Every creature on this planet has the instinct to survive, the will to survive, and you have the gall to resist! Your family will grieve your death, but they will move on with that instinct. If you kill yourself, another alpha male will take your place and the world will continue to revolve. We all die eventually, and may die soon, but that is inevitable. We die, but it is our duty to live for as long as we can. It does not have to be the end of the world if we can continue to live. Creatures of this planet will evolve and adapt as they always have, and a new world will arise. In the end, your possible death is pointless, unless you seek to cause those near you misery. Come now, get up. We need to leave. Something's coming... and it's dangerous."
Raven walked up to Kristin, slowly speaking. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings or anything. I don't know what came over me." She showed her the sunflower crown. "This is for you. I chose sunflowers because whenever I see you, you always brighten up my day!" She smiled softly. "I hope you can forgive me."
Kristin smiled, not thinking twice for the flowers. "Thanks Raven! You're the best!" She hugged Raven and put the flowers on. They did not fit though, for the crown was too big. The front slid over her forehead and onto her muzzle. She laughed and attempted to fix it.
Raven laughed too. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that." She sat on her knees and helped Kristin fixing it. She turned and looked outside. "Looks like something's going on." She whispered. She looked back at Kristin. "You're welcome!" She smiled softly.
Joshua heard his daughter laughing. He turned to look and saw she was sitting there fixing a little crown on her head. He smiled, thinking of her mother. He slowly got to his feet, his smile fading, and turned to face Gongon. "Your direction was off..." he said sadly, "You sent me to the left when you should've sent me backwards. I am sorry, Gongon. Even if you do not kill me now, I am not leaving this cabin. Whatever is coming this way will just come through me. I'm not leaving at all."
Dustin, who had gotten up after hearing Joshua's speech, approached his father. He had had enough of listening to his father's petty excuses for living and his even pettier excuse for wanting to die. He himself sent a flying punch straight into his father's gut, knocking the wind out of Joshua. Joshua staggered, amazed at his son's brutal action towards his father, but even more so amazed at the shear power behind the punch. Dustin growled angrily at his father. "You're not going anywhere? Well then, we're just going to drag you with us."
Gongon smiled. "The boy has some sense. You must have raised him well before you started spouting this poppycock about not wanting to live. Nice punch, boy." He turned to Dustin, giving him a brief smile before turning back to Joshua. "We will bring you with us. You may have claws and fangs, but I can lift three cars and your son is no slouch himself. Moreover, that new man seems to be strong himself. You can either come to your senses or follow us willingly or we will force you to come. Maybe you are right; maybe there is no point in living. If a creature is cornered, it knows it will die... if it does not do something. You are in that corner. Do something." Gongon prepared to knock the anthro-wolf out if necessary.
Lexi got up and ran to Dustin's arm grabbing him. "Leave your father alone. I cannot believe you punched him. He is upset and punching him is not going to help relieve his hurt. You need to talk to him, tell him how you feel about how is acting." Lexi pushed Dustin toward Joshua in the hopes that they would make up.
Gongon turned to Lexi and bared his teeth. "The man wants to kill himself!" He hoped the sheer shock of the statement would help her to realize this was not a Dr. Phil Jr. situation, but a life-and-death one.
Raven stood up. "I'll be back, okay." She turned and ran up towards them. "Now look who's fighting!" She said, smiling. "All right, now listen up and listen well. We have to stick together if we want to make it through this, understood. We must not give in to our urges to kill ourselves. We have to stick together, just like a family!"
Lexi bared her teeth back at Gongon. "Shut up. You have been away for a day and a half and now you want to settle the differences?" Lexi knew fighting was not worth it, but how dare him.
"Dustin, no matter what you want, or what we want, your father is his own person. If he really wants to die, he will. Whether he kills himself or not, once you want to die, and you believe you will, then you really will. Understand? He is his own person. Leave him be." Lexi looked at Raven before saying, "Thanks Raven. You are right. But he still is going to do what he wants no matter what we do."
Gongon furrowed his brow and stuck his tongue out at Lexi, the traditional gorilla display of anger. "I know it is his own damn choice to make but it doesn't matter either way, and I'm just trying to get him to choose the better of two evils! I leave the choice up to him, but it is still my choice whether I want to lecture him about it!" Just then, he slammed Joshua on the head. It did not hurt him any, but it drove him into the ground like a nail, leaving only his head above ground. "It's your choice, as we've said. If you want to come with us and live, ask. If you want to stay here and die, I will leave you like that. Who knows? Your baser animal instincts may allow you to engineer an escape from... whatever it is." He turned to everyone else. "Let us go. Not a word to him. We need to leave him alone with his thoughts..." As he started to walk away, he turned and glared at Joshua in silence, then continued.
Joshua was startled at this sudden mutiny. Things were not falling apart, he was. He also was too stupid to realize that point. He only wanted his wife at this point; his kids were suddenly of no consequence to him. He gazed into the eyes of his son's, they were young, fierce, bold, and most importantly, scared for his father. He tried to admit that there was something inside Dustin that had suddenly made him so different, so independent and aggressive. He was still too stupid to realize this thing was him. In his mind, he was the only sane person left. Fine... he thought to himself, this mutiny would end if I submit to their evil demands. "I have owned this cabin for years. I'm not going to give it up so easily."
Dustin growled fiercely at his father. Adrenaline held him strong and fierce. He was beginning to see his father for the weak old man he truly believed he was. Dustin knew his father was better than that. However, if he wanted to die, there was only one way to fix things. He grabbed his father in a hug, held him tightly and then grabbed his father and held him over the railing of the porch. "Okay Dad, you want to die, huh? You want to die?" He was stronger than he thought. That or his father was lighter than he thought. He held his father by the feet over the huge cliff, threatening to drop his father.
"Dustin! What the hell are you doing?" Joshua screamed.
Dustin let his grip slip on purpose, but he knew he had him. "If you want to die, then fine! I'm going to drop you myself, you worthless man." Dustin had done a complete change. He had gone from quiet and loving to angry and hating of his father. He knew in his mind that he would not drop his father; he would make his father change his mind this way.
"Just pull me back up, Dustin."
"Why? So you can kill yourself?"
"No! I... I want to live!" Dustin began to pull his father up upon hearing those words. I hope that they were true words. He turned to face the others, who were probably shocked at his actions. "Don't worry..." he said calmly, "I was never going to drop him." Dustin smiled slightly. He never had any inclination to do so in the first place. "This was just for his own good."
Raven stared at the fight. Dustin had completely ignored her words, apparently. "Wow, I've never seen that before." She turned and started walking back towards the cabin, shaking her head. Why did they listen to Joshua but not her?
Gongon clapped the boy on the back lightly. "Well done, kid. I couldn't have done it better myself." He looked at everybody. "We need to go. Something is coming. I can feel it." He looked at Lexi. "I think you sensed it too."
Dustin looked coldly at his father. "You'd have better meant it, Dad. I'm not going to pull you back up next time." He smiled and hugged his father. "But I'm glad you changed your mind."
Joshua smiled even bigger; relieved his son was not going to kill him after all. "And you learned that independence from your mother... I'm going back inside." And with that, Joshua began inside. "Gosh..." he suddenly stopped, "You really knocked the wind out of me, son. My chest is on fire..."
Dustin paused, "I never hit you in the chest... Dad."
Raven suddenly stopped and turned around. "Oh no!" She whispered. The rain poured down on them all on the porch as she walked back towards them. "Oh, this isn't good!" She looked at Joshua. "Try breathing deeply and don't get worried please!" She looked at the others. "Get him inside and quick!"
Lexi had watched it all in amazement. She could not believe what was going on. She had never imagined all this happening. When she was being tortured in an abandoned building she did not know what life was all about. Now she finally understood. Life is about love and hate. Nothing more and nothing less. Love and hate decide it all, she thought to herself. She did not want to interfere with what Dustin was doing. If he was to kill his father, he would spend the rest of his life regretting it, and she would have to be there to calm him. She looked cautiously at Raven as she began to act quickly. What was that all about, she thought to herself. Lexi was glad Dustin did not kill his father. After Dustin let his father up, she ran over and hugged Dustin in her arms. "I love you Dustin," Lexi motioned for everyone else to join the hug, forming one big group hug. "We need to stop fighting; it's not getting us anywhere."
Joshua looked at his son, then at Raven, puzzled. "What... what's going on?" He suddenly dropped to his knees, roaring out in pain. The realization hit him like a freight train.
Heart attack.
Her eyes widened. "Now! Get him inside now!" Raven yelled and she kneeled down beside him. "It's going to be okay!" She said, looking at Dustin. "Hurry, please! We must get him inside!"
Gongon was a remarkable sight. He had been meditating, with some incense burning near him. The smoke was filling the air, despite the fact that it was raining... "Let nature take its course. It may be the answer to his prayers, or the answer to ours. There is nothing we can do anyway." He said calmly.
Joshua lied down on the porch, the thunderstorm raging around them. Gongon's hits, as well as his own son's, coupled with his own son's threats to kill him, had sent Joshua on a hard, wild ride that his hear just couldn't bear. His son held Joshua. Kristin came out to see what the commotion was about and dropped to her father's side instantly, crying on sight to see her father's scared expression as he clutched his chest, trying desperately to stay alive.
"Dad? Dad!" Kristin kept screaming out in pain. She sobbed over him, grabbing her crown and handing it to her father. "Daddy, I don't want you to go. Daddy!"
Dustin held his father while he continued to suffer. Joshua knew now was the end for him. He had finally changed his mind, he was ready to look for the brighter tomorrow... and it was all going to be taken from him. He looked at his daughter first, "Precious, sweet, dear baby. Kristin, you look almost just like your mother. Thank you for the crown..." He held it tightly in one hand. "I love you Kristin. I will always be watching over you and your brother. You are my little angel."
He then turned to Dustin, who was refusing to cry. "Son..."
Dustin shook his head violently, "No. No! Dad, you are not going to die on me! You're not going to die!"
"Son, you have a good life ahead of you and you have your sister. Do not be a fool like me and waste it on my death or your mother's. She loved you and she wanted you to be happy, not sad. I want the same for you. I want you to be happy too. Take care of your sister..." He smiled as he began to see only blackness. "You're going to be okay without me."
"No I won't, Dad!" both his children screamed at once.
Joshua smiled, "I didn't want it to end this way... but it has to, I guess. I love you all." He then closed his eyes; they would never reopen. He was dead. Kristin and Dustin sobbed together, holding each other and sobbing. The rain came down heavily, thunder storming even more so outside.
Raven stood under the pouring rain. She was grateful for it because the rain was covering her tears. She sighed heavily; glad that they could not see the tears. She hugged tightly, herself closing her eyes. She looked down at Joshua's body. Her tail wrapped around her waist and she sighed heavily again. Her hair and ears dripping wet, she looked back. "They lost so much," she whispered.
Lexi stood there in amazement. She did not even know what to say. She really felt bad now. All the fighting had led to this. The death of an innocent man. Was it her fault? She had been arguing with everyone lately. Had she added to the pressure he was already feeling? Lexi could not help the tears that now flowed from her eyes. She would really miss Joshua. He had been so kind to her. She sat down to Dustin, wrapping her arms around him. She motioned for Kristin and the rest to come closer. They all probably needed comfort and she knew through her sadness she could still help. What should she do next? All she could do was hug everyone and cry. No words could be spoken from her mouth.
The world was in chaos around them, and for two days, they had survived without too harsh of an environment. They had met new people, and now the ragtag group stood on the porch, one of their own was dead. What would they do now, with their leader gone? Would they let themselves fall apart, or would they continue to go on stronger than ever? On the other hand, like Joshua, would they suffer equally harsh outcomes of their own lives?
To Be Continued...