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Rej & Bastion 04: Float On

My eyes are open, but everything is black. There's nothing. No sound, no sight, no smell. Everything is swallowed up by the darkness. I'm alone. Locked away. My gut churns, an ember growing inside. I can't be. Bastion will come. Mother. Or Father. Someone. The ember erupts into a flame, burning at the bottom of my stomach. It grows in intensity until I can feel the smoke rise up, and I'm forced to inhale. Just to try and keep the fire burning up through my throat at bay. It reaches my tongue, a searing tang that I must expel. It burns, stronger briefly and as the last of the charcoal is expelled, I can see.

I'm back home.

My mother and father are sitting at the kitchen table, talking. I'm on the other side of an open door. I walk in. Their heads turn to me, their eyes narrowing to slits. Their muzzles move open and closed, speaking to me, but no sound reaches my ears. When they stand, fear shoots through me and all I can think of is running.

'Get away. Get away!' My mind yells.

I'm frozen. My legs unwilling to move with my arms glued to my side. There's nothing I can do. Except panic.

My mother pushes me down and I land with a painful thud. My father is suddenly by my side with a pair of pliers. He reaches down with them. I scream but nothing comes. Then he shows me the tooth. Pulled out by the pliers. All of the air in my lungs rushes out.

"Faggot." My father laughs as he brandishes my own tooth in front of my muzzle. "FAG" The tooth shines, and I find myself awake and...

Wet.

My muzzle is wet, and at first I think it's from tears. I could have been crying in my dream. Well. Nightmare. But there's something else. A sour, vinegary smell. But I can't place what it is. I don't really want to try to. I want Bastion. I need to feel him sleeping by me. I reach out with a paw and try to touch him. Right where his sleeping head would be.

Wetness and no Bastion.

My eyes snap open and I feel my ears flush as they go flat against my head. Vomit. The beginning of my dream makes sense... I sit up and look around.

Seven thirty.

Bastion's bathroom door is ajar, the sound of running water seeping out from behind it. I don't know the last time I've felt so ashamed.

I get out of his bed and walk into the bathroom, shedding my nightshirt as I enter, my tail hanging down dejectedly. Behind the shower curtain his silhouette is scrubbing his head, with his tail wagging lazily to a beat he's humming.

In the mirror above his sink my reflection stares back, its muzzle tinged a dirty orange-brown, with bits of fur twisted together. I feel gross just looking at it.

"Da-da-dadada-dadad alright... alright..." He hums, oblivious to my presence.

"Did I get you?" I ask nervously, my ears folding back in embarrassment. Maybe it happened after he was awake. He jumps and turns, then pulls the curtain back and smiles sympathetically.

"Yeah love."

"Sorry." I whimper, interlocking my paws behind my back and feeling very much like a little kit caught with his paw in the cookie jar.

"It's been a rough few days." He answers easily, reaching out and pulling me into the shower. I nod and hug him tight, feeling on the verge of tears. Again. I'm surprised I haven't dried up yet. "Let's get you cleaned up."

The water feels nice running over my head and through my fur. Washing away the filth. Nice and warm. Too bad it's a shower.

"I want them to call." I mumble into his chest, enjoying the feel of his wet fur against my nose. All I can do lately is complain

"They will... soon."

"It's been three days."

"If you're so worried, then you call them." He replies, scratching my head. "You dropped a big bomb on them. And they didn't handle it well... They might not be sure if you're ready to talk." One of his paws slides up my back and starts to rub the back of my head, dragging his claws through the wet fur, creating trails for the water to run down like little waterfalls, washing away my mind's worries for the moment. It feels good.

"I don't know that I can."

"Making the call is the hardest part." He comments, releasing me and grabbing the shampoo. "But if you're really worried they aren't willing... to adapt... then there isn't anything wrong with calling them." The shampoo is cold on my fur compared with the warm water, but it feels nice to have him cleaning me. I can just stand still, listen to him talk, and fade away.

Across my shoulders and down my back his claws travel, scrubbing and rinsing. Then he moves to my front, lifting my muzzle up and rubbing at the matted fur and removing what vomit hadn't been rinsed clean.

"And as much as I love you and want to tell you that everything will be fine. It very well might not be. It could take a few days, or weeks or years for them to come to terms with this. Everyone's parents act differently." He pulls the showerhead down and rinses my muzzle off and plants a kiss on my lips.

"I don't want to lose my parents..." I sob, looking pleadingly at him. "I don't want to lose my family."

"Hey. Hey." He coos pressing my head back to his chest, his soapy paws mussing up my head fur again. "You're my best friend and my boyfriend. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I've talked to my parents. It's not too hard to provide for an extra mouth if everything does go south between you and your parents. I hope not. But you know... anything can happen and we'll just have to float on." I nod against his chest. I'd assumed they'd let me stay, but I'm not worried about a home. I don't want to lose them.

"Bastion?" Came a voice through the door, followed by a knock. "You need to let Rej clean up and help me with this mess." The tone was light and joking, but I couldn't keep my ears from flushing red with embarrassment. Bastion too wasn't immune from his mother's casual interruption of our shower.

"A-a I'll be out in a minute." He shouts over the showerhead and then releases me. He washes his chest off; removing what vomit had gotten onto him and then steps out of the shower and grabs a towel from his counter. I grab the shampoo and pick up where he left off, going as fast as possible. With him out, the shower feels too big now.

I don't know if Bastion has the same problem considering his winter coat isn't too long compared to my own. But even now, nearing the start of fall, what winter fur I do have is waterlogged, making me feel constantly damp and cold. And I've used two towels to dry off. Finally I give up and decide to air dry my fur, meaning I'll be damp for another hour or two. But I can use Bastion for warmth.

When I step out of the bathroom Bastion's bed is cleared of all sheets and his comforter. He's lying on his back, his head resting on a pillow minus the pillowcase, his foot bobbing to some song in his head. I walk over to my backpack and pull my last pair of boxers out. Either way. I'll need to go back home for clothing soon. I can't live with only four days worth of clothing for my last year of high school. After pulling the boxers up I crawl onto the bed and lie next to Bastion.

"Why are you wet?" Bastion jumps, shifting to avoid my touch.

"I couldn't get dry." I pout, moving in closer. "And it makes me cold. I need warmth." He shakes his head but lets me rest mine on his chest. A few moments of silence pass by and he heaves a heavy breath before speaking.

"I'm sorry." He turns his head to look at me. I'm not sure what he's apologizing for. Last I checked it was me who Rolfed on his bed and him. And I don't have anything breakable besides my clothing with me.

"For what?"

"Saturday night. We haven't really talked about it... About the events leading up to it... And I'm sorry. I lost my temper and I feel like it's my fault." He's having a hard time organizing his thoughts.

"Bastion it's fine. My father was being rude and he deserved to be put in his place. It's not your fault he's an asshole." I'm happy he's apologizing. Since Saturday I've been mad at everyone. Even myself. It was all handled so... Poorly.

"But I could have gone about it differently... I urged him to loose his temper... I wanted to make him uncomfortable..." He takes another breath. "I lost my temper. People like him don't think about others. They can't put themselves into another's position because they're so ingrained in their own upbringing that whatever someone else says or does is wrong. Homosexuality is wrong. Plain and simple. They don't know anyone who's gay. No one who's close to them... So they don't even understand what it's like."

"Well. Now he does... Sort of." I try to console Bastion. There are tears gathering at his eyes. Figures. I'm finally dry and his eyes start flowing.

"I wanted him to understand..." He continues, looking down. "I feel like it's my fault. I wasn't thinking. I don't want you to be kicked out because I was being dumb. I shouldn't have been holding you when they walked in." I want to tell him that it's not all his fault. But I don't want to tell him that it isn't his fault. Part of me does blame him. And part of him is to blame.

"What's done is done."

"I know... I just don't want to be the reason he kicks you out." I want to be done with this line of thought. Since we left the hotel all we've talked about is the possibility of me being kicked out. It's not helping me any. "Can we talk about something else?"

"About what?" He's leaving the next topic up to me. The one whose brain is the most scattered currently. Great.

"I don't know. Something else. Not about me or family." I sigh clenching my eyes shut.

"All I can think of is your parents."

"You think I'm doing any better?" I scoff, rolling on top of him and raising an eyebrow.

"No." He replies, looking down. "Couldn't you call? Let's just get an idea of where they're at. It might help calm us down."

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"I don't want to hear their decision."

"You'll hear it eventually. Why not get it over with now? You keep saying how you want to be done."

"But I want them to call. Not me." I'm divided. Call now, and I could receive either good news now and be at peace. Or get bad news and start figuring out what I have to do. Waiting for them to call postpones both the bad and good news scenarios. It makes sense to call now. But the idea churns my gut. I don't want to hear them tell me I'm not welcome. Really. It's just the fear of bad news that keeps me from calling.

"Dialing is the hardest part" Bastion comments, leaning up and kissing my chin.

"Get me the phone then." My eyes feel wet already. My heart is racing. My lungs are pounding. I hate this feeling. Bastion smiles and I move off of him and sit crisscross on his bed. Please don't answer. Let me prolong this. Bastion stands and walks out of his room and reappears a few moments later with the house phone.

"Want me to dial?" He asks honestly with no hint of a tease to his voice. I shake my head.

"No. I will." He passes the phone over and I dial the number. Please don't pick up.

It rings once.

Please. Please. Bastion seems much less apprehensive than myself. His ears are perked, tail wagging, and he's wearing a soft grin. Reassuring.

It rings twice.

One more ring. One more. Then I'm clear.

"Hello? This is the Whimner Residence. Darla speaking." My mother answered. I can feel my gut fall. I feel sick. I don't want to do this.

"M-Mo-om. This is Rejimond."

"Rej..." She sounds... off. Her voice becomes very soft and I have to strain to hear her. "Hi."

"Hi..." I falter. Where do I go? What do I say? 'Hey have you guys decided whether or not to disown me yet? Cause I'm really anxious to know.' Bastion isn't helping any either. He's just standing there, moving his paw in a circular motion silently telling me to continue talking.

"I'm sorry it's taking so long." She says, pausing, waiting for me to say something. Probably 'it's okay. I understand.' She's not getting that from me. It's not okay. And I don't understand. "Lee is having a hard time." She continues finally. She pointed him out. Does that mean she's fine with this?

"What do you mean?"

"Well... Hon. He's having a hard time." She repeats nervously.

"With what? That I'm gay?"

"Yes that." That? Yes that? It shouldn't be some unspeakable thing. I'm gay. I can feel anger boiling under my skin. There's silence on both our ends. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure what to say. Or what you want to know." She does. She's just beating around the bush.

"You've had three days now! I want to talk to you both! I want to know what's going on!" I yell through the phone. Bastion winces and my mother is silent. "I want to know if I'm coming home... If that it is still home for me."

Minutes pass by and she doesn't answer. I can feel my tail twitching, relaying my tension to the world. Soon What anger I felt melts away and I start to feel sick. Her silence is enough. My lip quivers and its all I can do to hold it in. I'm not going to cry over the phone. Bastion moves, and his arms wrap around me, his head resting on my shoulder. She's having just as 'hard of a time' accepting I'm gay as my father. I know it.

"You'd rather abandon me because I'm gay than love me for being your son." I state coldly, trying to throw as much malice into my voice as is possible in my current state. It isn't much.

"No. Rej. No. It's just that... It's just..." At least she sounds hurt. But what excuse will she use? 'It's us not you.' or 'it's safer for you to be at Bastions.' "Maybe we should talk." She sighs tiredly.

"When and where." Bastion's ears perk and he shifts his head to look at me. I'm happy to hear those words.

"How about here at home. Afternoon. Three?" She asks and I feel relieved. There's still hope.

"Okay. I'll ask Bastion to drive me." I wipe a tear away and smile. I don't want to lose my parents, at least not my mother.

"Okay. Bye Rej." She finishes.

"Bye." The phone clicks and the line goes dead. I sigh and set the phone down. I feel better but at the same time I don't. She's trying. But it isn't easy for her. I'm positive she's not doing well either.

"So where am I driving you and why? And When?" Bastion asks.

"My house. I'm going to talk to them there and she wanted it to be around three."

"I'll definitely get there. Get dressed and we'll tell the folks." He smiles, patting me on the thigh and standing. I'd expected the phone conversation to be longer. And filled with more yelling and crying. Maybe it's all being saved up for our live talk.

We walk down the stairs together and into the living room. Bastion's father is sitting at the couch with his nose buried in his laptop. Bastion's mother is somewhere else.

"Morning Ralph-I-mean-chuck-errrr-Rej." His father laughs when we walk into his sight range. I can feel my ears flush and I look down. He laughs and Bastion joins in, though hesitantly. "Really though. You alright?"

"I don't know sir."

"Rej. It's Joe. Please." He smiles, "Just nervous?"

"Yeah." I nod and shift in place.

"Still no word?"

"Rej called them. We were hoping to talk to you and Mom... Whenever she gets back." Bastion speaks before I have the chance myself. Briefly, I feel a flash of resentment, but then I remind myself I would have beaten around the bush. Bastion was just trying to do me a favor.

"Oh!" Bastion's fath-Joe exclaims. "Well Lacy already left to the cleaners. Did everything go alright?"

"Sort of..." I start trying to think about what would be the best way to word our conversation. "It wasn't... It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be... but it wasn't as good as I'd hoped."

"We're going to meet Rej's parents at his house around three." Bastion explains. "We wanted to tell you and see if you had any advice." Joe purses his lips.

"Well. I assume Lacy will want us to go too. Since we're Bastion's parents... We might be able to relate to them. It might be safer too." Joe speaks reclining back and stretching.

'What do you mean?" I ask defensively. My parents wouldn't do anything.

"Well. From what you and Bastion described, it seemed your father was in fight or flight. And fight was winning out. It's better to be in this case. If it feels like we're deterring conversation though, we'll step out." Joe explains. Bastion moves into the kitchen. "I'll give Lacy a call now. Let her know what's going on."

"What do you want for breakfast?" Bastion asks as Joe pulls his cellphone from his pocket.

"What is there?" I ask moving to follow him.

"Hey! If you two wait I'll cook up some ableskeevers." Joe offers. I hear his laptop shut and him beginning to talk to someone, Bastion's Mother. Bastion's tail is going and he's smiling at the mention of these ableskeevers.

"Sounds great." He answers cheerfully.

"What are they?" I ask. Joe has made his way into the kitchen, nodding his head.

"Yeah. That's what I said Hun... They still don't know... Hopefully." He starts to pull ingredients out from the cupboards and pantry, amassing them next to the stovetop. My question is still unanswered. Looking around Joe's side reveals some ingredients: Almond Milk, sugar, and flour. "Okay. Will do Hun. I'll tell them." Joe finishes, making a kissing sound and hanging up. "She'll meet us there and I'll ride with you two."

"Okay." I nod, "What are ableskeevers?" I want to know.

"A simple dish. They're kind of like a cross between a pancake and waffle. You can fill them with other food too. Strawberries. Apples. Mousse." Joe explains, bending over and digging through a pantry filled with pans. And suddenly I know where Bastion got his ass. Erase. Erase. Erase. It doesn't stop my ears from flushing with blood. When He straightens back up he's holding a cast iron... Skillet? But it's filled with bowls, six around its perimeter with one in the center, each around an inch in diameter. "This is what you cook them with."

"They're good." Bastion smiles, moving over to me and hopping up onto the kitchen counter behind the stovetop island where Joe was placing everything. "I could eat them everyday." He's swinging his legs like a pup, back and forth.

"That good huh?"

"Best breakfast ever." He confirms tail wagging. Joe chuckles and continues about his business, pulling out a case of eggs. "We have nearly three hours before we should be at your house Rej. We'll have plenty of time after we eat so you should be thinking about what you want to talk to your parents about. This isn't something you want to go blindly into to."

"I don't know what they'll talk about." I've thought of the arguments, most ending with us yelling at each other and me stomping out and into the arms of Bastion.

"Assuming they don't try and force you to come back and be straight... They'll want to know why and when you realized you were gay. Your feelings. And it will hinge on you conveying your feelings enough that they understand." Joe suggests mixing most of the ingredients together in a large mixing bowl.

"Okay. What else?" I hadn't thought about them being willing to talk about why. Let alone wanting to know when.

"I don't really know. I assume a lot of the time will be spent on your feelings and trying to convince them why this isn't wrong... Best-case scenario is they'll come out of this accepting you. Worst case. Absolutely worst case. It will be years before they accept you for who you are."

"So I just have to think about what they'll want to know about me being gay..." I cross my arms and lean back. Bastion places a paw on my shoulder and squeezes.

"I don't like it. But you're probably going to have to defend yourself in front of your father." Bastion adds. At first I think he means physically defend. "He about lost it when I told him I was gay. And then it all started because of those two lesbians."

"It's not right. I shouldn't have to defend myself for being gay." My stomach churns at the realization he's right. But that was why I'd been so scared of coming out as long as they didn't know; I didn't have to defend myself and who I am.

"I fully agree with you. But this is how the world is. And eventually, once enough people realize or are convinced there truly isn't anything wrong with it, we have to make do." Joe comments as he slaps the first blotch of batter into one of the bowls in the skillet. Oh, it smells good. Like waffles.

The past few day's I've spent most of my time curled up on Bastion's bed, crying and worrying over what my parents were going to do. I had no energy. No desire. Nothing. Now? I can't contain it. It's like I've been struck by lightning. My tail is lashing, my feet are restless, and I'm ready to go. Somewhere. To be anywhere but his bed, and yet, here I am. Lying on my back next to him.

"Have you been thinking about what you'll say to your folks?" he asks rolling onto his side and resting his head on his paw.

"A bit." I answer with a sigh.

"Well. How about I ask you the what, why, when, and all that? It'll help you coordinate your thoughts." It's not a bad idea, and it's nice that he offered. Why not?

"Okay."

"Well. When did you realize you were gay?" He asks. I don't really know when.

"Uhm... I kind of started to realize it near the end of sophomore year... I... I didn't really... look at girls at school... And well. I liked how the guys looked... I just didn't notice it... and I didn't want to really... accept it." I answer, sitting up, "I just... I really only knew when I got with you... After the first kiss. I really knew I was gay."

"When did the kiss happen?" Bastion fires back.

"A few weeks ago... August 12th..." I cannot believe I remembered the day.

"What made you want to be with me?" I see what he's doing now. It's helpful for me true. But he's learning too. Since the moment we've gotten together. I've been learning about him and how he works. But we haven't sat down and actually talked about ourselves like this... Or at least me.

"I... You are my best friend... I knew you were gay... So I didn't have to worry about that... And... I... Loved who you were. If there was someone I wanted to explore my sexuality with. It was you. If I wanted to be with someone. It was you." I feel choked up. It affected him too. I can see the water in his eyes, a warning to a small flash flood.

"So. You won't ever be with a woman?"

"I won't. Not that I see. I don't see anything... attractive."

"So they're ugly?"

"Ha-ha smart ass. I only like girls as friends."

"Why?" That's a good question. Why.

"I don't know. I like guys... Plain and simple."

"So are you going to start dressing like a woman now?" he asks, throwing me off guard.

"What?" He laughs at my shock.

"I-I'm... just trying to think of what your parents will ask." He heaves, placing a paw on his chest.

"Why would they ask that?"

"It's a common misconception. Well. That sounds harsh. Some do and some don't. It's the whole idea on transgender. But because of how you're father was acting I wouldn't be surprised if he asks that."

"Well... No. I like being a boy..." I'm not sure how to answer that one. "Is that enough?"

"Let's hope so." Bastion shrugs, then thinks.

"I can only think of one more. Were you forced into this?"

"No." I shake my head to emphasize my answer, and then hug him. "I wasn't forced. And I'm happy to be with you and to be like I am. No matter what happens."

"Good." He kisses my head then twists to look at the clock behind him. We have time before we have to go. Just under an hour. He turns back and kisses me again. "I'm happy to hear that."

"What do you mean?" I ask, looking at him. He has no reason to be worried.

"The past few days... You've been talking so much about how worried you are about your parents rejecting you... I... I was getting scared you might be having second thoughts... or worse that you might be considering lying to yourself... That you wanted your parents to accept you more than being open and out about who you are." He explains. I roll on top of him and kiss his nose.

"I'm afraid I'm going to lose them. I'm not really close to them... But... they're my parents. I'll love them no matter what. I just don't want them to not love me." I lean forward, both of my paws resting on his chest, fingers splayed and staring at him. He makes no comment. Not even a 'They'll always love you.' "But. I shouldn't hate myself for being gay. And I could never hate myself for loving you."

In a flash, I'm pressed against him, my arms folded between our chests, with his muzzle to mine. For a moment I can't process anything. I'm not sure what I said. Well I know what I said. I just didn't think it'd have that affect.

"That. Is. The. Greatest. Thing. You. Could. Have. Said." He huffs out when he finally releases his grip on my muzzle. His paws are holding my head, making me look directly at him. His body is stiff and serious, trying to convey the emotions he feels at this exact moment. I push myself back up to my original position. He reaches up and grabs the sides of my arms and opens his mouth to say something else, but closes it. I feel myself swell with... pride? Or, joy? Yes. Joy at his response.

I can feel the same sense of self I'd had Saturday night, after telling my parents. I am happy as myself. I am happy with Bastion. And I love my parents no matter what. But if they can't accept me... Then... Fine.

I feel good. I feel ready to talk to them.

* * *

It feels strange, as I step through the doorway and into my house. The first thing I notice is cigarettes. Well. The smell. When my father smoked it was in his office, away from us. Granted there was always a tinge of the smell. But this... He's been smoking everywhere. It doesn't smell like home. Even if it looks like it.

Bastion and his parents are right behind me as I walk. From entering the house it's a straight line into the dining room with various openings for the living room, bathroom, laundry, and kitchen, which is a part of the dining room. At the end, sitting at the table, are my parents. My mother is watching us, and my father has his head in a paw with a cigarette in the other.

We pass the bathroom.

Hanging to my left are old pictures. One of my parents' wedding, before I was conceived. Another of me as a kit, looking curiously up into the camera. Another of a family vacation...

We'd gone camping. It'd done nothing but rain and blow wind all weekend. The plan had been to go fishing and hiking. But instead, we stayed in the tent, hoping for a break in the weather and played card games. I learned Texas hold-em on that trip. Dad taught me. I was seven.

We pass the laundry room.

There are more pictures. Myself playing in the backyard. My mother and father out on a trip to the coast by themselves. A trip to Seattle, with the space needle behind us. I've done a lot with them. I've just forgotten how much. Maybe they have too. They raised me, and the idea that something so... small... as whom I choose to love could get in the way like this... That it could erase any weight of our memories time together and be enough reason to kick me out.

We're into the living room. So close. I can feel my mother's stare. Father isn't even bothering to look at me. He's found something interesting to stare at in the pile of cigarette butts in the ashtray. He hasn't taken a single puff of his cigarette since we walked in.

A picture of my junior high graduation. Mother is smiling, and father is serious. I'm beaming, and holding up my certificate of graduation. I barely reach my father's chest in height. Another of just my father. He's dressed in his military best. The American flag behind him, looking squarely into the camera. Above that is one of my grandfather. And of my great grandfather. There's one last picture. It's me. I don't remember how old I was. But I remember what happened.

I'm not even to grandpa's waist. I have to reach all the way up to grab his paw as we're walking away. The forest is dense, with pine trees and ferns. There's a fish basket around my shoulder with a large fish tail sticking out the end. My grandpa is carrying our fishing rods. It was my first rainbow trout. 14 inches long. It was my father who had taken the picture too. I've never been as into sports as him. Or construction. Or hunting.

But if there was one area we connected on. It was fishing. And to this day I believe that one of the things he's most proud of is the day I caught that fish. I'd just forgotten about it.

"Hey..." I start, giving a half wave and moving aside for Bastion and his parents to come up. My mother smiles, but it's slight. She doesn't look good. Tired. Her eyes are dark, and she's sluggish. My father snuffs out his cigarette in the ashtray and stands, turning to Joe and offering his paw. He's completely ignoring me.

"Hello Mr...." My father starts trailing off.

"Grenitch..." Dam Joe is tall. He towers over my father, at least by a whole head. And as he clasps his paw with my father's I realize how large he is too. His paw easily encompasses my father's. His charcoal grey fur consuming my father's dark red. To bad my father isn't intimidated.

"Thank you for watching Rejimond these past few days. It's given Darla and I time to really sit down and talk... And think."

"It was no problem. Rej is a good boy." Joe replies easily, cracking a grin to try and loosen up the mood my father was setting. There's silence, and I realize that my parents are waiting for bastion and his family to leave.

"Uhm... Bastion and his parents were hoping to sit in. They think they might be able to help." My father frowns and looks resistant.

"Actually. I think that would be a good idea." My mother speaks finally. "Why don't you all sit down?" She offers, motioning to the table. There are only four seats though. "Rej? Grab the stools from the kitchen please." I trot off and grab two of the stools under the kitchen island. Bastion and I will have to use these.

Once we're all seated, my mother and father at each end of the table, with bastion's parents across from bastion and myself we stare at each other awkwardly. Where do we start? How do we start?

"So. Mr. and Mrs. Whimner..." Joe starts, clasping his paws together and leaning forwards, resting his elbows on the table. My father blinks.

"Very well... When did this happen?" My father starts, waving his paw at Bastion and I. "How did this happen?" His ears twitch, eagerly waiting for an answer.

"I... it started a few weeks ago." I answer, twiddling my thumbs and looking down. I don't want to face him. "I told Bastion that... That... I liked him... I told him... that I wanted to be with him." I'm trying to keep from rocking back and forth. I'm so nervous.

"How long is a few weeks?" My father presses, his tone level. I can feel his eyes boring into my skull as if he might gleam something from it.

"The day after the birthday party that I had Ben drive me to. It was August 12th."

"And Bastion was... already gay before... You asked him?" My mother asks tentatively. I do look at her. She's gentle. And nowhere near as intimidating.

"Bastion has been gay since I met him."

"Oh... How have you handled that?" My mother turns to look at Bastion's parents. They blink a few times each then Lacy answers.

"Well. It was never a big deal. We just sort of knew early on and waited for him to tell us. He was never interested in girls and it has never mattered to us who he is with. He's our son and he's gay. It's what makes him happy."

"Oh." My mother sits back and just looks blankly at my father across the table.

"So you knew your son was a... gay... and were. Are. Fine with it?" My father snaps.

"Yes." Joe answers with a smile. "What do you find so wrong with it?"

"I don't have to defend myself against you." His lip curls upwards and his paws clench.

"I'm just asking. This needs to be a two way conversation." Joe answers easily, putting his paws in the air.

"It's not right... It's not natural. It's unmanly..." My father sputters out. "I do not want my son to be like this."

"But I am." I comment, my chest tightening. I was hoping he wouldn't be so confrontational.

"And you shouldn't." He looks to me again. Bastion shifts on the stool and grabs my paw, squeezing. "Is it something I did? Was I not a good enough father?"

"It has nothing to do with you." I whimper, my ears lying flat. "I can't explain it any other way. I like guys. It has nothing to do with you or mom. It's just how I am."

"Why?" He stands and paces around. Pulling a cigarette from his shirt pocket and lighting it. I can't think of anything else to say. I' can't explain it any better. "Why would you choose this?"

"Why would you choose to be gay?" Bastion speaks, drawing all eyes to him. It's the first time he's spoken since leaving his house. His question stops my father mid drag. His cigarette hangs from his muzzle, a steady stream of smoke flowing from it.

"I'm not a homosexual. And don't accuse me of being one." My father snarls, his cigarette tipping up, a trail of ash falling down from the sudden movement. It lands in a small pile on the floor.

"I'm not accusing you. I'm asking Mr. Whimner. Why would you choose to be gay?" Bastion stresses the point, staring right my father.

"I don't know. I wouldn't. I'm straight." He answers with a scoff, rolling his eyes. I see what Bastion is doing now. Bastion's parents are smiling in approval at him.

"There it is." Bastion smiles, "You wouldn't choose to be gay. Because you aren't."

"I don't see what you're getting at.," my father rebuffs, scowling.

"You wouldn't choose to be gay?"

"No. I'm not gay."

"I know you aren't." Bastion sighs, "But why?" My father stares at Bastion. His cigarette is nearly gone. Most of it has ended up on the floor. Slowly, his features soften slightly and he moves back to his chair. "Why?" He sits and puts his head in a paw, shaking it.

"Because... I'm not... gay." He looks up, and his face is torn up. His eyes have glossed over; they're red and puffy. And he looks regretful.

"Do you honestly think that anyone would choose to risk being ostracized because they willingly decided to be with someone else? No. There is no choice. Not for me. Not for Rej. I love men. He loves men. And right now. We love each other. Do you kind of understand what we're trying to say?" Bastion continues, squeezing my paw and looking my father in the eyes. He removes what is left of his cigarette and snuffs it out.

"I think I'm beginning too." He sighs, shaking his head. "You really don't feel like this is a choice?"

"No. I don't. The only thing making me feel slightly guilty is you." I answer, trying to throw some venom into the 'you.' He turns to my mother.

"Darla... I-I..."

"I've told you where I stand on all of this." She snaps, crossing her arms and glaring at him. He stands looking around, opening and closing his mouth. He sighs.

"I'm sorry. I... Don't... I wasn't raised to like this." He's searching for words, opening and closing his paws like he might catch them out of the air. "You're my son... It... Feels wrong... Like it's my fault... I've failed you as a father."

"It's not though." I reassure. "It has nothing to do with you. It's just who I am."

"Then why did you have to tell me? US?" He shouts spreading his arms out. "I didn't ask to know what you do in a bedroom!"

"It's not about that." Bastion counters.

"All I want is for you both to know who I am." I look at both of my parents. "I love you both... and lying like I have been. It wasn't fair. Sneaking around like what I was doing was wrong... I want to be myself. I want you to love me for who I am. Like I love you two. I don't want to be sneaking around your backs or being forced to choose between you two and Bastion. Is this really something I should keep from you both?"

"No. It isn't Rej." My mother speaks, standing and walking over to me. She looks at me and gives me hug. "I love you. And if this is who you are... I'll still love you. You're my son." I hug her back, squeezing tight and trying to avoid crying. I will not break down yet.

"I love you too mom."

"It will take some getting used to..."

"Thank you."

"Mr. Whimner?" Lacy asks, looking at him. "What are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" He shrugs shaking his head. "I was brought up differently. I don't like this. I really don't..." He walks over to my mother and I and she let's me go. We stare at each other for a few moments. "But. I won't turn him out for my own faults." I wait for him to make the first move. He offers his paw.

"Thank you dad." I take his paw and shake it. It will have to do. For now.

"Well." Joe smiles, standing. "It's six. How about we all go out and get dinner? Release some of this tension." My father looks apprehensive, but my mother gives an answer before he can.

"That sounds great. It will be nice to get out of the house..." She smiles "And to get to know the parents of my son's... boyfriend." I'm happy she's trying... But she doesn't need to force herself.

"Likewise." Lacy agrees standing and stretching. "How about Akiba's?"

"I haven't eaten there in a long time. You mean the sushi bar by the college right?" My mother inquires.

"Yes." Lacy answers. Bastion and I stand up and walk to the hallway.

"That sounds good. Come on Lee." She answers, trailing after bastion and I. He shakes his head, and it ruins my mood to see him do that.

"I... I need some time to think. I'll see you both when you get back." He answers.

"No. Now is the time to start being active with our son." My mother commands.

"No. I could use the time to think. Alone." He waves her off, even throwing in a small smile to help put her at ease. "There's... a lot I have to learn to deal with... And I'm not sure it'd be good for me to go straight from this... talk... to dinner..."

"Lee. No. The sooner you attack this. The sooner you'll get over it." My mother frowns, walking back into the dining room and grabbing him by the paw.

"Darla. This has been very stressful. I really don't want to go anywhere." He sighs, "I'm very close to losing it." Those words hurt. I wonder how much he's actually willing to change. It seems like he just feels defeated.

"Maybe I should stay." I offer, "We can talk. You and I."

"No. Just go. I need to just sit and think. We can talk later." Fine. My mother isn't making progress. "Darla. I mean it." He speaks sternly. She frowns and shakes her head.

"I cannot believe you sometimes!" She snaps, letting go of him and walking towards us. He gives a halfhearted shrug and sits down at the table, pulling out a cigarette and lighter. We all step through the door.

"Mrs. Whimner. You can ride with us." Bastion's parents say as they walk toward their car, while my mother closes the door.

"Give him time." She sighs, enveloping me in a hug, again. "Rej. You have my full support. In whatever you do with your life. I love you. And your father will come around. Just give him time."

"I love you too mom... It's nice to know you're okay with this." I hug her back and kiss her head. All this worrying and she's on board with me. "It really is. I will..."

The sun is just starting to set and it's cool. Overall. I feel good. My mother is doing her best... And... Well. Dad didn't kick me out.

"Sometimes it takes a long time." Bastion whispers, "He's trying. That's what matters." He doesn't realize it, but he just restated everything mom told me.

"I know." I just wish it looked like he was trying harder and not just moping.

"Hey. Let's go eat a good meal..." He chirps cheerfully, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close.

"We'll see you two at Akiba's." My mother smiles warmly. She looks better now. I wonder if it hadn't been dad who had been stressing her out.

"And whatever happens between us and your family. We'll just... float on." Bastion chuckles as he kisses my head.

~H.Ramea

Well... It certainly took me long enough to get this out. I can only hope everyone is satified with it. So read. Tell me what you think. And i'll try not to take half a year for my next story.

*Special thanks to Xeph (http://xeph.sofurry.com) for being so willing to go over the final piece and provide his input and editting.