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Silnis

*****

My mental note from yesterday was right; giving either Markus of Luke a hug is going to give me more trouble. It's bad enough that they're following me around at school, but when I got to gym class today I couldn't believe who I saw. Markus was talking to Mr. Peterson, a dingo, though he liked to be called Coach Peterson. They both noticed me and the coach motioned me to come to him.

"Silnis, always the first one here. I like you to meet Markus. He's going to be my student aid for the rest of the trimester," he introduced, giving the both of us a smile.

"I already know him coach, and congrats Markus. You'll be a great help," I said, faking a smile while walking over to my spot on the floor. Markus and the coach were going over today's activities, but I could always see Markus glancing over at me. No doubt about it, he liked me. His reaction to my hug and his smile at me yesterday proved it. Great, I got two love-struck guys after me, sounds a lot like a movie to me. Everyone else filed in, taking their spots on the floor while the coach wrapped things off with Markus.

"All right boys and girls, listen up. Today, we'll be starting our new unit, badminton," I heard a few groans but the coach quickly shushed them, "Don't go complaining on me now. We're almost at the end of the school year so I expect you all to give it your all. Now everyone say hello to Markus," gesturing to Markus, "He'll be our new student aid until the end of the year, so give him your hellos when you get the chance,"

Soon, we set the nets and were whacking birdies back and forth between each other. I loved badminton and was really good at it, making every move quick and graceful. Things got competitive in my court and soon we were keeping score of who was winning. Markus was going around the other courts, helping out and supervising, until he got to my court, doing more than supervising. His gaze was always on me, watching me move back and forth and swinging my arms. I tried my best to ignore him, but he would always stand there, staring at me like some statue. Class was about to end and it was match point for me, wanting to finish the game. The birdie was flying high up in the air and dropped down towards me, giving me the perfect opportunity to make a spike. I was running up to spike it when my foot suddenly stuck to the floor, making me trip. I would've fell flat on my face had it not been for...someone. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me before I felt myself fall on something soft. Everything happened so quickly that I didn't have time to figure out happened. I opened my eyes and saw that my face was buried into someone's chest; the fur was light brown with a bit of white, Markus.

"That...was close. You could've broken your nose. Are you all right Silnis?" he asked, smiling. I didn't respond to him as I quickly got off of him, blushing bright red.

"T...thank you...Markus, but I...don't see why you would...save me like that," I said, turning away from him.

"Because I....," he was cut off as the bell rang, making me dash for the locker room. I quickly unlocked my locker and started changing, trying to erase what had just happened. Soon, I was out and headed for my next class, passing Markus without any eye contact.

Markus

****

"Because I like you," That's why I saved you Silnis. Truth be told, I've always had an attraction to guys, but no one had that special feeling like Silnis did. He always made my heart race whenever he was around me, his scent was intoxicating. I've only known him for two days yet these feeling I have for him are undeniable, I was falling in love with him. The first time I saw him in Art, my heart was taken, though I was unaware of it at the time. Now, I was certain that I loved Silnis. He may be unwilling to show his true side, but with time and love, I can make the old Silnis come back.

Throughout all my classes, I was thinking of some date ideas just in case I had the courage to ask Silnis out, but I couldn't figure out what Silnis liked to do. After school, I went to the club room before Silnis, hoping to ask Garrett before he found out what I was up to. Garrett knew Silnis more than anyone else in this school, except for Luke, but I didn't want to ask him for obvious reasons.

"Garrett, do know what Silnis likes to do?" I asked him, dragging him to a corner.

"He likes singing, isn't that obvious?" Garrett said, confused at my question.

"No, I mean does he like to do anything like go out to a restaurant, amusement park, anything!?" I repeated.

"Oh, you mean those kinds of things. Well....let's see. He does like going out to restaurants, especially Asian ones, he loves Asian food. Umm...he does like going to amusement parks, he did say once that he couldn't get enough of rollercoasters though. Anything will work for him basically, but I do know that he hates going to football games, says that it's a waste of time and money. Is that all?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's good enough thank you," I thanked him and was about to leave when he stopped me.

"One important thing you should know Markus. Silnis is absolutely terrified of thunder. He has brontophobia and will run away at the slightest sound of thunder. He's run out of classrooms during a thunderstorm, and they've found him in all sort of hiding places, especially places where it's loud or the room is sound-proof. So be careful if you're taking him out and it's a thunderstorm, he'll run away from you in a flash if he hears thunder," Garrett warned, giving me a serious look.

"Why does he have brontophobia?" I asked.

"No one knows. You'll have to ask him that yourself, but most likely he won't tell you," Garret said, waving goodbye as I left.

Silnis

*****

Strange that Markus wasn't at the club room, even Garrett said that he didn't come. I had a weird feeling about this, but I pushed it aside and continued walking home.

"I'm home!" I announced, dropping my backpack on the floor and the house key in the bowl.

"Hi, sweetie welcome home! Come and greet our guest!" my mom shouted. Strange, mom wasn't usually home this early and we weren't expecting anyone. It was probably one of our aunts of uncles dropping by for a visit.

"Mom, what are you doing home so ear...?" I stood frozen at who was sitting at the dinner table.

"His name is Markus and he's such a sweet boy. He's the one that you said was stalking you around the school, right?" my mom assumed, smiling at Markus.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to keep my voice down.

"I just wanted to see you. It's been a while since we've seen each other now" Markus playfully said.

"We see each other every day at school in art and gym. Why do you need to see me here at home?" I asked.

"Because I miss you," Markus joked, smiling. My mom squealed, already in high school girl mode. I faked a laughed and gave him an annoyed look.

"Hey, Mom, where are Aaron, Jack, and Alicia?" I asked, switching the topic.

"Aaron took them to the park. They left just ten minutes ago," my mom told me, still giggling.

"Okay, I'm just going to go change and head on out," I flatly said, grabbing my backpack and heading up to my room.

"I'll come too," Markus said, getting up from his chair.

"I'd rather you not!" I shouted from my room, closing the door.

Markus

*****

"Please don't mind him. He's just acting to be all tough and all. He's wasn't always like this you know" Mrs. Hearthglen apologized. I saw a chance to get to know Silnis more and about his past.

"Why? What happened?" I asked, my ears perking up.

"Oh, I don't know if I should tell you. Silnis doesn't like anyone talking about his "problem" with "him" she said, waving it off.

"You got that right," someone said. I jumped from my seat, looking behind me and I was wide-eyed at what I saw. Silnis was dressed in a pair of dark-blue jeans, wearing a plaid blue shirt under a white t-shirt.

"Wow...you look amazing," I said.

"You're very flattering, but this isn't what I would call amazing, just okay," he said, heading towards the door. "I'm going out for a walk around town. I'll be back soon,"

"Mind if I come with you?" I asked, getting out of my seat. Silnis looked like he was about to say no when his mother stopped him.

"Sure, you boys go on ahead and enjoy yourselves. I'm sure you wouldn't mind some company right, Silnis?" his mother gave him a sly smile, wanting me to go with him at all costs.

Silnis

*****

My mom had me trapped in a corner. There was no way I could crawl my way out of her grasp. I was planning on just a walk through town to relieve some stress, but now I have to bring Markus along.

"Fine, you can come along...," I sighed, walking on ahead while Markus was catching up.

"So, do you normally take walks every day?" Markus asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Only when I'm having a bad day or I'm really stressed," I told him, avoiding eye contact.

"Why do you get stressed?" he asked, catching up to me again.

"Well...let's see. I have to two stalkers following me at school and worse yet one of them is my ex," I said. Markus was about to say something when I smelled something...something delicious! My mouth started to water as I tried to identify what that marvelous smell was. I smelled...cinnamon, bread, and frosting...it was cinnamon buns!

"Hey, do you smell that? That smells like cinnamon buns," Markus asked just as my stomach growled. He chuckled as I tried to my embarrassment. "Looks like someone is hungry. You want a cinnamon bun?" I hated to say this but I wanted one desperately.

"Yes...," I softly said. Markus' ears perked up and he leaned in closer to me, giving me a questioned look.

"What was that I heard?" he asked, playing with me.

"Yes, I want one, please," I said, more concentrated on the delicious cinnamon buns than Markus. Soon, we were sitting outside a Cinnabon shop eating our cinnamon buns, me enjoying it like it was some gift from heaven. I loved cinnamon buns! I had totally forgot about Markus, who was sitting across from me, and was busy smiling and giggling at the tongue tickling taste of my cinnamon bun. It wasn't until I heard him chuckle that I snapped back to reality, seeing that he was staring at me the whole time.

"What?" I asked, wiping my mouth.

"You were so cute when you were eating that just a minute ago. I don't know why you can't be like that at school," Markus said, giving me an amused smile.

"I can't be like that at school because than I'll be viewed as weak and harmless by everyone. I need to show that I can be strong and tough, that I can handle things myself," I told him, throwing my garbage away.

"You can be tough and strong, but it would be nice if you were like that around me," he said, putting an arm around me.

"No thanks. I'll stick to being...," Suddenly, I heard a bang of thunder and quickly hid under the table, covering my ears and trembling. Thunder...I don't like thunder!

Markus

*****

That sudden bang made Silnis scramble for the table, hiding under it and plugging is his ears. Was it even a thunderstorm? I scanned the sky and didn't see a single dark cloud anywhere.

"Sorry everybody," someone apologized. An employee had tipped over a metal garbage can, making it sound like thunder.

"Silnis...it's okay. It was only a metal trash can," I reassured going under the table to get him. He looked at me and for a moment I saw fear in his eyes, pure fear. There was another bang and suddenly Silnis jumped at me, tightly wrapping his arms around me.

"Sorry!" the same employee shouted. Silnis was crying, burying his face into my chest. I just sat there, wondering what I should do. Would he get mad and start yelling at me if I touched him? Well...he was already touching me so I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. I slowly wrapped my arms around him; cautious to if he would snap back to his usual self, but as soon as I had both arms around him he didn't yell at me or anything. My heart was racing as I held him in my arms, something that I didn't expect to come so soon.

"Everything's going to be okay Silnis. It was just some clumsy employee who tipped over the metal trash can, that's all," I reassured, patting his head softly.

"Take me home...," he whispered to me, his grip on me tightening.

"What?" I asked, leaning in closer to him.

"I said take me home," he said, still trembling. He wasn't going to be able to walk like this so I picked him up in my arms, surprised to see that he was really light. I carried him all the way home, him starting to calm down but was still shaken that he still clung on to me. By the time we got to his house, he had fallen asleep and his mom opened the door, surprised to see that I had Silnis in my arms.

"What happened?" she asked, worried yet excited to see that I was holding him so close to me.

"We were at the Cinnabon and a metal trash can fell. He thought it was thunder and hid under the table. I trying to comfort him until the metal trash can fell again and he jumped into me. He wanted me to bring him home so I carried him," I explained, looking down at the peacefully sleeping angel in my arms.

"Just put him down on his bed in his room. A little rest should be enough to calm him down," she instructed, letting me in. I went up the stairs as she opened the door for me, gasping as I walked into Silnis' room. His room was a dark blue and had posters of different artists all over the wall. His bed was also blue from his sheets to his blanket and it looked small, but Silnis fit perfectly when I laid him down. There was a large desk with a laptop in a corner of the room, also blue, and a small closet with neatly organized clothes. There was also a nightstand by his bed with an alarm clock, lamp, and a personal diary which was left open. I looked at it and saw that the most recent entry was just before we left for the walk.

March 3, 2011

Dear Diary,

Markus is here at my house, the nerve of him. Well, at least it ain't Luke, because I would've chased him out of the house whether my mom was here or not. Anyways, I'm planning on going for a short walk just to relax and breathe some fresh air. Of course, I expect my mom to insist that I bring Markus along, but there's no way that's happening. Markus may be handsome and nice, but just because my mom likes him doesn't mean I like him. I swore that I wouldn't get in a relationship, and I'm still keeping that promise! He can flirt and smooch me all he wants but I won't give in to his demands!

Anyways, school has been going great, except for my two stalkers; nothing is ever great with those two around. Luke with no doubt is trying to get me back (like that's ever going to happen), and Markus no doubts likes me. I always catch him staring at me with those dreamy eyes of his. I think he's daydreaming that I'm in his arms, saying "I love you" and all that stuff. Nice dream and all but he won't be hearing those words out of me ever.

I couldn't help but softly laugh to myself, reading that entry. Suddenly, it hit me that I could find out what happened between Luke and him in his diary. I skimmed through the diary, looking for any mention of Luke. I finally found a page that mentioned Luke several times, including shaky writing and what looked like smeared ink from water, probably tears.

January 27, 2011

Dear Diary,

Do you ever know what it's like to see the one you love with another person? I can tell you, it shattered my heart. I wanted to see Luke today so my homework was done; I walked over to his house. His parents weren't home and strangely enough the front door was unlocked. I also noticed that all the lights were off, making my way to his room. Do you know what I heard when I got closer to his room? Moaning, small whispers, and giggles. I thought Luke had a friend over and were watching some movies or something, but as I slowly opened the door, my heart stopped at what I saw. Ryan, a fox who only went here for a month, was rubbing and kissing Luke! Any other person would've just closed the door quietly and cried, but I felt a rage burning inside me, I wanted him to feel my anger, my grief! I kicked the door open and pushed the couples away from each other, Luke begging me to forgive him. I yelled at him with all the anger and grief I had in me, throwing the necklace he gave to me back to him and retrieving the bracelet I bought for him. I left him crying over me as I left his house, not a single glimmer of regret in me.

I had a change in me as I got back home. My mom and siblings could see the tears running down my eyes, but I simply brushed them away, acting as if nothing had ever happened. Here I am now writing this terrible event, tears smearing the words that I write with my shaking hand. I swear this to myself; I will never fall in love again. I don't want this to happen to me again in my life. I'd rather die alone without tasting true love than with dried tears and a broken heart. Love to me now is unclear and faded. This will be the last time I'll see my true self. From now on I'll be whole new person, nothing like the original.

I got chills creeping up me as I finished reading the entry, a bit of anger for Luke inside me. How could he cheat on Silnis? The most beautiful and kindest person in the world!? I just wanted to...punch that guy the next time I saw him. I wanted him to pay for what he made Silnis go through. How could he break Silnis' heart and suddenly want him to come back to him.

"So now you know," someone said. I looked at the doorway and saw Silnis' younger brother, Aaron.

"You...you saw me reading his diary?" I asked, a hint of fear that he would tell Silnis when he woke up.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell him that you read it," he said, me breathing a sigh of relief, "Besides, I think you might be the one that Silnis' been waiting for,"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, him taking the diary from me. He flipped through some pages before stopping on one and handing the diary back to me.

"Read this," he told me. I looked at the entry, seeing that it was only from a few days ago.

February 29, 2011

Dear Diary,

I had a dream last night about the perfect man for me, my soulmate. I dreamt that we were on a hill on a moonlit night, me in his arms. I couldn't see what he was, but that didn't matter to me. All that mattered was that I was finally happy after what Luke did to me. We were both gazing at the full moon, me resting against his powerful chest as he would softly nuzzle me from time to time. Then, he brought our lips together and we met for a long and passionate kiss, tears falling from my eyes. I wanted to stay here forever with my soulmate, but I felt myself being dragged away as he slowly let me go. I cried out for him, begging him not to let me go, but in a soft and warm voice he said "I love you," before I woke up, my eyes damp with tears. I truly wished that I could stay with him but all I could do was cry as hard as I ever had cried, my mom charging into my room as soon as she heard me. I told her about my dream before breaking out in tears again. What I'd do to be back in his arms.

"That morning was the first time I've ever seen my old big brother come back. I thought for sure that dream would send him back to us, but he went back to being hard and tough. Sometimes though, I see him staring at nothing for a long time, and that's when I know he's thinking about that dream," Aaron said, sitting by the sleeping Silnis. "He's a good big brother, and makes sure we're all happy and well-cared for, but I just wished he can be happy as well,"

"Do you really think that I'm the one that he's been waiting for?" I asked, putting the diary down.

"I'm not sure, but I have this feeling about you," he said, studying me.

"Aaron, can you come down here and help Jack turn on the TV!" his mom shouted.

"Coming!" he shouted, giving me one last glance before going downstairs. I sat on the bed by Silnis, thinking about Aaron had just said. Was I really the one that Silnis had been waiting for? He sure doesn't treat me like I was his soulmate. On the nightstand, behind the lamp was a bracelet that I guessed was the one he took back from Luke. It was a simple silver chain with a moon charm attached to it, nothing fancy but beautiful nonetheless. I got out my phone and flipped it open, dialing my mom's number.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hey, Mom, would it be all right with you and dad if I stayed over at a friend's house for the night?" I asked.

"Is it a girl's house?" she asked, suspicious.

"No, a guy's place," I answered. My parents never knew that I was gay, but I didn't want to tell them either.

"Okay, fine, just don't drink any alcohol and stay up late playing video games, okay?" she agreed.

"All right mom, thanks," I said, hanging up the phone. I leaned down and gave Silnis a kiss on the head before going downstairs to ask if I could sleep here for the night, my guess was yes.