Those Bygone Dog-Star Days - Chapter 20 of 37
~ Chapter 20 ~
My eyes adjusted to the darkness around me as I blinked awake. I watched as my vision returned and shapes formed from the darkness of my room. From my open window a mixture of low, yellow floodlights and the high, blue moon enveloped everything. A steady red glow from my clock told me the time was a little after 2 am. I felt Aaron's body against mine, deep in sleep.
I brushed my nose against the back of his neck and breathed in. His scent was slightly musky; a comforting earthy smell. As he breathed in, I breathed in, too, matching my breath to his. He exhaled and I exhaled, too. The pause between breaths and heartbeats, and I breathed him in again. I stayed this way for a little while longer before the sheer condition of being awake forced my breath quicker and deeper and my heart sped up.
"Cade?" my sleeping inamorato roused. He didn't move, nor did I feel much change in his breathing.
"Hmm?" I exhaled.
"Don't ever change," he mumbled quietly.
I felt my heart beat quicker but I deepened my breath. "What'dyou mean? I hate that phrase." It sounded less playful and cheeky than I wanted.
There wasn't anything more and I assumed he had fallen asleep.
"Nevermind," a soft whisper played against my hands encircling his chest. Within seconds I heard him snoring gently.
In my dream I felt Aaron parting from my embrace and getting out of the bed. I heard footsteps but couldn't trace where they were going. My body was heavy.
The footsteps came back and I felt a kiss on my forehead. Somewhere in my mind I was telling myself to get up, but another voice was telling me to stay asleep. Sleep sounded like the right thing to do, so I did.
"Where's Aaron?" Becky looked up at me from her omelette on the kitchen table, "Didn't he spend the night?" She was watching some morning news program and eating breakfast.
"Yeah," I answered, searching my memories. "I woke up and he was gone. You didn't see him leave?"
"I didn't stay the whole night."
"Whore."
"Prude."
"Where's my eggs?"
"Go make your own!"
I started making my own eggs, hearing the diced vegetables - green peppers, onions, and garlic - pop in the heated skillet. Soon the aroma wafted to my nose.
"Oh, Becky?"
"Yah," came the muffled reply.
"I think I snapped at Aaron last night. He told me not to change and I think when I asked him what he meant, it came out harsher than I expected."
"What'd he mean?"
"Dunno. He said 'Nevermind,' and went back to bed."
"So? What's wrong with that? It's kind of cute, what he said."
I slid the cooked eggs onto a plate and joined Becky at the table, "I hate that phrase, 'Don't change.' I feel it means not taking the other person seriously as a being. Everyone changes, everyone grows older, hopefully wiser."
"Oh?" She looked at me.
I continued, "There's not an equal footing with that phrase. It's trying to keep someone in a perpetual state of childhood or immaturity and not recognizing them for who they are."
Becky narrowed her eyes and swallowed her food, "Cade, don't be dumb. I'm sure he means he doesn't want to see you hurt or turn into something you're not. You can change, but don't change who you are."
"He kissed me on my forehead. It was an old grandma's kiss."
"Maybe he does love you and that's his way of showing how much he actually cares about you." Becky paused and looked at me, "What's really bothering you, Caleb?"
I didn't feel hungry anymore and my throat parched, "Ever since Aaron told me about Bo, he's been really distant. I'm afraid he's going to stop thinking about me and I don't want to lose him." I got up to get some orange juice from the fridge.
From her place at the table, Becky said, "Have you told Aaron all this? You know you should really sit down and ask him how he feels about the two of you. See where your guys' relationship stands."
I felt a mental slap-on-the-forehead realization. Taking a sip from the carton that had been hiding on a lower shelf I answered, "Oh. Yeah. Guess I should go apologize."
"Yep!" Becky chirped from farther away, "I gotta run!"
"Can I get a ride?" I turned and called out.
I heard the front door shut. Becky had left her dirty plate on the table for me to clean up.
"Love you, too!" I yelled to a phantom Becky.