Never Love
Once my guiding light
The woman I loved
The one who held my hand
Has thrust me backward
Declared me to be unwanted
Back into the shadows
To pay for my sins.
The sins of my devotion.
Of my fear of betrayal.
For one thing I am glad of the darkness.
You cannot see this veil of tears
This numb feeling I cannot shake.
You cannot see me lying in bed
Motionless and unfeeling because of your poison
The lethal equal to that of a cyanide capsule.
You cannot see me hug my knees to my chest
Or close my eyes
to try and hide
from these monsters.
These demons that sing in my ear
Sing the words of sorrow
I wish not to hear.
They sing their twisted lullabies
Of love gone awry.
They whisper the words
Over and over
With a snide undertone
"She never loved you,
She never loved you,
SHE NEVER LOVED YOU"
I am glad you cannot see these tears
I am glad that you wont get the proof
That I loved you more than air.
That I still long for you to play
With this little strand of hair.
That with each breath
I wish it were my last
And that I never again would utter the words
"I love you"