Long Road Ahead (Diapers)
It took about 15 minutes -- driving west toward the coastline -- before Michael arrived at the beach. Matt took the wheel, and drove his white, 1970-era van to the beach with his friends Michael, Tyler, and Devin relaxing in the passenger seat and the backseat. Everyone was looking forward to attending the bonfire party.
Michael felt slightly out of place since he didn't know anyone locally beside his diaper-friendly friends. The lion was concerned about making first impressions, though he would deny it if he was asked about it. Going to the bonfire served as a social litmus test for the lion: he wanted to know if he could socialize outside of his inner circle. On the way to the beach, Michael didn't overthink the prospects or the consequences. Instead, he thought about Tyler, and whether he wanted to take the relationship to the next level.
Tyler was wondering about the same thing. The tiger felt he owed the lion a great deal for taking on his bully, and the bully's father. When he kissed Michael at the athletic club that day, Tyler knew that his kiss was purely reflexive. He wasn't sure if the kiss was something done out of love for his older feline. Tyler considered the kiss a blind, emotional reaction of gratitude. At first, he didn't want to think it was a "gay" thing. It couldn't be, he reasoned, because he never felt any attraction to someone of the same gender. The more he thought about it, he discovered that Michael was the exception to his principle of attraction.
The tiger looked around the van, and tried to make small talk with the group. Occasionally, his eyes darted over to Michael, who was quiet and looking toward the front seat.
"This is going to be fun," said Tyler. "I can't wait!"
"Hell yeah! I was at the beach a while back, took the ATV for a spin. I rode the dunes for the entire day," Devin reminisced.
"You guys want to grab a burger and fries on the way or there or on the way back?" asked Matt. "We'll probably be there for a while. We could always go at night when we get the munchies or something."
"Whatever is cool with you, Matt" replied Michael.
"And there's one other thing. For the stinkers in the back: there's a bag of diapers behind you, and a pair of towels. If you need to change, you can fold the seats down, push them toward the front, and change there. Thanks, Tyler, for pitching in and buying the bag."
"No problem. So Michael, I heard from Matt that you and him jammed for a while yesterday."
"Oh yeah, well, we got so drunk that I can remember only some of it."
"Geeze, don't mention the 'drunk' part. I'm still getting over the hangover. It was cool, though, like, Michael's mom gave us some beer, and we were chillin'."
"Wow, nice!" Tyler exclaimed. "I wish my mom would drop a cold one by my room."
"Ha, well you don't want to ask Devin's mom for a beer. She's been in rehab since he was born. Heck, I don't even know if she remembers having a kid," joked Matt.
Devin was not pleased with the joke. The equine took off one of his sandals and threw it hard against the back of the driver's seat. This spooked the fox, who looked in his rearview mirror and saw Devin with his arms crossed and a dark scowl.
"The Hell is wrong with you?" Matt yelled at the equine.
"Fuck you, asshole."
Michael felt his heart skip a beat as tensions increased. "Come on, Devin. Take it easy," the lion said in a strained tone.
"No, Michael, I'm really tired of your shit. Pull over, Matt, I'm getting out."
"But I'm on the freeway. I'm not going to pull over."
"Pull the god-fucking-damn van over!"
"Alright, alright. You can't take a joke? Fine. I'm going to take the next exit, and you can do whatever."
"Come on, Devin. It was just a joke. Please, let's just go to the bonfire, relax, and have a good time, alright?" Tyler pleaded.
Devin went silent, and everyone watched the equine as he snorted and shook his head angrily. Matt thought about apologizing to Devin, but he didn't want to admit that his joke was distasteful. The fox didn't want the scrutiny to be placed on him. Instead, he complied with the equine's demand, and exited the freeway. Matt pulled the van to the side of the road beside a gasoline station. When the van stopped, everyone but Devin -- whose eyes were glued to the floor -- looked at each other, and tried so desperately to swallow their words and not saying that could make the situation worse. Matt set the van in park, and turned to face Devin, who sat motionless in his seat. The fox sighed, and opened his door, jogged over to the van's large sliding door on the other side, and opened it.
Once daylight shined into the fan, Devin unbuckled his seat belt, and hopped out. Michael leaned over in his suit, and attempted to make eye contact with the equine, but was unsuccessful. The lion felt a lump of anxiety in his throat, and he tried to clear it. Devin's ears perked up, and his tail swished around agitatedly. The equine glared at Michael.
"What is it?" Devin asked sharply.
"Can we talk about this?" Michael spoke softly.
"Now's not the time, dude." Devin paced around in a circle before sitting down on the road curb. He muttered incoherently to himself.
Michael removed his seat belt and joined Devin outside. The lion sat down beside the troubled equine and whispered to him, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll sit right here until you're ready to talk."
Tyler poked his head out of the van and saw Michael consoling Devin. He decided to remain silent and stay in the van.
Suddenly, after a long sigh, Devin began to explain his outburst.
"I have a mom who never wanted a son. She wanted a drink, not a son. She married my father, a Marine, and he went overseas for his tour of duty. While he was over there, I was born. At first, she was, like, 'Great, I have a son,' but I got in the way of her fun. She couldn't be the life of the party anymore -- had to give all of that up for me. She didn't want it. Dad told me that cops found her lying in a ditch, drunk, face down in the mud. They turned her over. She opened her eyes, told the police, 'I'm tired of being a mother.' That bitch went to rehab after that, and never came back.
"Before she went, she sent me to her grandparents. Dad came home, and found she cheated on him with someone she met in rehab. She cut and ran, leaving dad. And dad? He was miserable. He lost the love of his life, and the mother of his kid. One night, he found her, and when he did, he took out a gun and shot her. She survived, but he went to jail for attempted murder. He pleaded guilty, got sentenced, and she divorced him right after that. Up until he went to prison, he sent me letters, and things he collected from his travels like swiss knives and military soivenirs. Not anymore. He's still there, and she's off God knows where. She makes me sick just thinking about her."
Devin rubbed his eyes and sniffed. He tried holding back his emotions.
Then Michael asked, "If she was never around, why did it bother you that she was joked about?"
Slamming his hands against his knees, he shouted, "Because I love her, that's why! I'm just sick of the bullshit. Why are my parents always the punchline of a joke? The fuck did I do to deserve this shit?"
Michael sat quietly for a minute, analyzing the details about Devin's past before responding. Meanwhile, Tyler and Matt remained in the van. Matt was unapologetic, and felt he did nothing wrong. "As usual, Devin overreacted, and now Michael has to calm him down."
"We know about Devin's parents, and we know he doesn't like talking about it."
"Not my fault he has mommy issues."
Tyler unbuckled his seat belt. "Oh, come on! Not you too!" Matt whined to Tyler as the tiger got out of the van.
"Sorry, but you kinda crossed over the line," Tyler snarled back at Matt, and closed the van door behind him. Matt started banging his head on the steering wheel out of frustration and guilt.
"And I told him over and over again to stop puttin' down my folks," Devin complained to Michael. "But he won't quit. He just won't quit."
Oddly enough, Michael appreciated his equine friend displaying emotion and showing his vulnerabilities. Before, the lion felt distanced from the equine. Devin was aggressive and full of testosterone, and Michael had a difficult time connecting with him. When it came to the equine's hard-line personality, Michael felt he was worlds apart from him. Nonetheless, Michael appreciated the equine's kindness, and by showing his more tender side, the lion was more inclined to listen to his every word. Devin let his guard down, and recognized the lion's willingness to listen to him.
"Thank you," Devin uttered to his feline friend. "Thank you for listening. I'll shut up now."
"No, no. Thank you for letting me listen, and trusting me. I got your back." Michael wrapped his long arm around the equine's shoulder and squeezed him tight. When that happened, Devin could feel himself letting go and relaxing. He took a deep breath and exhaled. Michael's willingness to listen quietly and accept Devin's pain required no words of understanding. When Michael rubbed his shoulder, Devin was happy.
Tyler watched the scene unfold, and was in awe of the lion's ability to be so comforting and affectionate. When he first met Michael, Tyler was intimidated by the lion due to preconceptions. Michael looked like "king of the jungle." He looked like the kind of feline that would be uncaring of other people's problems. He looked like the kind of feline that was emotionally limited to his personal pride. Instead, he met a lion who was selfless, courageous, and introspective. When the tiger tried coming up with positive adjectives to describe the lion, he realized that he was in love. His admiration for the lion evolved something greater after he witnessed Michael consoling one of his best friends, but he was tired of merely being the witness. He wanted to show Michael that he was also capable of being compassionate.
"Matt, get out of the van and apologize to Devin," Tyler ordered.
The fox exited the van and slowly walked over to the group that gathered on the sidewalk. He bit his lip, and apologized. "Sorry, Devin." Matt kicked the ground and looked at Devin. The fox offered his paw to Devin, and the equine forgave him by grabbing it and standing up. Relieved, Matt opened his arms for a hug, and Devin unhesitantly leaned toward the fox for a hug. Once in the hug, Matt felt his body collide with something crinkly. The fox couldn't help but reveal a little smile. He whispered to Devin and said, "Geeze man... you too?"
Having picked up on Matt's comment, Tyler smirked and crossed his arms. The tiger said to Matt in a booming voice, "We'll forgive you if you put one on."
Michael laughed at the proposition, but Matt shook his head. "No, no. It's cool. I'm heading back in the van, so --"
"You know what? I like the idea," added Michael. Devin chuckled softly. "I think that's better than a forgive-and-forget, wouldn't you say, Dev?"
"Sure. Guys?" Devin crackled his knuckles. "Let's have a party."
Devin pushed Matt in the van while Tyler and Michael adjusted the seats to create more empty space in the back. Once he was done with the seats, Michael tugged down the fox's shorts and his briefs. Matt tried to resist, but he was unable to overcome the brute strength of the equine holding his arms down. Tyler went through the bag of diapers inside the van and retrieved a fresh one. He tossed it over to Devin who commenced the diaper by unleashing a sinister laugh. Matt thrashed his body as Devin put the diaper on him. Grinning from ear to ear, Michael and Tyler watched everything unfold.
Once he was diapered, Matt laid in the back wearing a diaper, which crinkled loudly inside the van. The fox blushed and looked down at his thick and surprisingly comfortable diaper. He kept thinking to himself, "I'm in diapers! Oh my God!" One side of him completely rejected the idea of wearing them. The other side of him found the diaper-wearing experience to be pleasant, carefree, and satisfyingly different. The fox wanted to confirm that he wasn't dreaming by feeling the front of his diaper with his paws. It felt like he was touching the surface of a crunchy-sounding pillow. The diaper was deceivingly thick though it looked thin from the outside. He could smell that nice fresh diaper aroma, which filled up the van. Then he snapped back into reality, thinking, "Wait a minute, I'm not supposed to like this!"
Matt said angrily, "I'm takin' it off! I don't want to be a baby!"
Devin took out his pocket knife, flicked the sharp point up with a snap of the wrist, and whispered to Matt, "Can't let you do that, fox."