Forked Memories
W e all go through a change somewhere in our life, whether its a random stare or a meeting in the middle of nowhere. A change for good or either evil, stringed along as if by chance. Oh how wildly an echo of a memory can be. It pains me to feel and see, all that he made me. Beautiful monster of a nowhere dream. Putting me of the mainstream of life. Never would I be who I am now, a mess of something great. Potential, he said I had, but he did nothing more then poke and prod me. A doll to play with, when his ego got bored. Wrapped in deceit, my life became, locked in a decay. Whispering lies to me, with his forked tongue. He knew, with his fallen hands he could do. Even made me hate, those who where of blood to me.
With pieces of temptation, he sunk his teeth in my broken body. Oh don't get me wrong, happy parts come along. So tiny and treasured they did come, a fractured friendship we had become. In years before, his innocents, covered his face. Through time his fascade did fade, knives where thrown my way. Broken bones in the name of fate. An instrument of laziness, a slave in the making. Simple things I was chored with, on his whim. Never moving from his addiction, to nothing more than graphical error on his life. Words of degradation, removing my outer reflection. My mind set, programmed to something he set.
He was my snake, to my Adam. Leading me astray. A bond we had, but the life I had eroded away all that. I pushed and pushed, whipped in return. I took my beatings and the burns. Could not take the scars no more. The tears of a strength return. No easy fight as this was my life. I knew nothing more. Was this my reward, a making of something strong. Knowing things now would I change what id been made? Reaping of insincerity, I spoke my words regrettably. Never did I want to leave, but if I wanted what was left of my insanity. Battle scars wounded face, tears replace. Betrayal he states, by taking what was mine in the first place.
This hurt me more, but it surprised me less. His genius was something to be impressed by. Ten years a clique we had, other friends had come and go, maybe cos he was someone no one could keep in there lives , id stayed through it all. But it had come to his, an out front war, kept in nothing more than indoors. A stand off it became, to try and claim, something that was mine, it was insane. It crushed me inside, losing something that was mine. A best friend, that would never end. Yet his toxic mind, came to lend this in unexplained end. Now this memory still haunts me till the end. An emptiness, I want to fill. Now there is no best friend.
But I cant complain, for the whole thing changed me. I'm no longer a shy and quite, words flow through me to others. Strength to deal with my other wars, build my character and all my flaws. Something I would of done different, but the whole thing no. I learnt things there, that I would never of grown. So when you go through the bad times, I advise you, take it in and grow. Become a sadist and enjoy the bad, otherwise you might start to crack. I came so close, to an end. Yet I pushed through my darkness, and made that end. Others things I've been through, in which had pain. But this defined me, even through the greys and blacks. Because even with those fallen forked memories, you can hide them deep inside, but recognise there change.
For we make our pain, we make our own change..