Keep It Coming - part 1
Hey guys. This is the official first part of my series "keep it coming". Sorry for the wait for those who read the intro. Anyways I hope you all like it, and hopefully there will be many more to come. As always constructive criticism is welcomed, but since this is my first story please be gentle. If you ignore this warning you may get injuries and be killed by a toaster. Never forget that! You have been warned. Don't forget what toasters can do!
You can ignore that last part....it's pointless :P
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Keep It Coming
Part 1
There's a fine line between been liked and disliked. How something so small can have such an impact on the way people perceive you. It doesn't seem fair. It isn't fair. Its life...and it just keeps coming.
It's been three years since my life flipped. Knocking me out of the driver seat and into the boot...figuratively of course...I was never truly the same after that. My nights filled with fear and regret. But strangely, it was the only time when I ever fully felt or expressed any emotion. I felt safe in the barricades of my dreaming mind. But that thought, that need that desperate, overpowering thirst was always there. Luke. The one person who ever truly accepted me for who I am. I honestly loved him...but he can no longer know.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I awoke in a daze to the sound of my mom shouting, trying in vain to wake everyone up. That was her morning routine...wake everyone up and then go back to sleep till ten...Lucky. My body was reluctant to move, still sore from the seemingly endless shopping expedition mom took us on, the previous afternoon, to get supplies for the upcoming school year. That was a thought that both excited and horrified me. With a heave-hoe I dragged myself to the bathroom to start my morning routine. I made my way out of my room and across the hall, entering the shower, the air still warm from the previous occupant. I turned the knob, allowing the lukewarm water to dance over my body, seeping into every crevice, relieving all discomfort. Making sure i used extra shampoo and conditioner on my head fur. I needed to look at least remotely presentable on the first day. Stepping out into the now cold air, I simply watched the German shepherd in the mirror that stood before me. Combing his fur and brushing his teeth. There was nothing special about him, 6 foot, nor too fat, nor too thin. Those hazel eyes, only good for seeing the obvious, devoid of charm. He was just ordinary. And that was all he wanted to be. When it came to dressing I always respected the rules of randomness...sending my hand into the cavernous wardrobe that lay at the end of my bed, eyes closed tight, pulling out what appeared to be the remains of some old blue jeans, a shirt and a jumper. Just some plain ordinary clothes..."Perfect."
I ran downstairs with a reluctant spring in my step, guided by the ever stronger scent of frenchtoast. Walking into the kitchen I was greeted by my dad, still drowsy, slurping down a mug of coffee after one of mom's rude awakenings.
"Hey sweetheart...sleep ok?" came the comforting voice of my mom from the other side of the room. She only had two volumes...either ear piercingly loud or quiet as a mouse. She's a slender 6 foot Shepherd, with a glistening patch of wavy, caramel blonde head fur.
"Yeah mom...breakfast smells nice. Can I make it to go; I have to get to school early to meet Shane" I stated. This was partly true, I did want to meet up with Shane, but the main reason was to evade the sight of my elder brothers Jason and Sam. They were both twins; 7 foot and enough muscle that it was hard for them to squeeze through the narrow doorways of the house.
"You come out yet to that Shane guy yet Shaun" my dad questioned. You see, when it comes down to been gay, dad always said "it's always better to not hide who you are; it only makes more of a mess. You can either be a puff with balls, or just a plain old puff." It hurt when he says that but I knew he was trying to help, mostly.
"No, not yet dad" I responded. "I don't want anyone to know, at least until after I graduate."
"You've been going to Redwood High for three years Shaun, isn't it about time to tell your friends?" he examined. I didn't want to respond to his question and he understood. Lowering my head all I could think about was that they would probably disown me if I ever came out. It was my decision. I didn't want to go through that again.
"I need to go. I'll be late" I murmured. Picking up the slice of Frenchtoast mom had left on the breakfast bench. I grabbed my bag and left the house in a hurry. That question burrowing itself into my mind. However I needed to keep it of my head for the time being. I walked down the street to catch the 7:30 bus, putting back on the mask I had to wear, just to keep my life from crashing down again.
* * * * * * * * * * *
The bus ride to school was quiet and the morning at home was out of my mind. I exited the bus a couple of blocks away from school, taking advantage of the cool morning air to think. To think about what awaited me after I enter the school for my final year and what lay ahead after that. The discrimination against gays isn't as bad as it is up north; but it's still an issue that no one really wants to stop. My first year here I learned that a girl named Jackie 'came out' to her best friend, who was accepting of the fact that her best friend was a lesbian, but Jackie's school pears weren't as open minded. They found her beaten and unconscious half a mile down the road from her house.
Thankfully it was the only time it ever happened and the people responsible were expelled. The violence has stopped since then but the bullying still lies in most emotional and social aspects. Jackie and her family moved after she was released from hospital, it would have been nice to have someone there for support. There aren't many open gays in the area around 17.
I walked through the school gates, greeted by the sound of students chatting away among their groups, all waiting for their form class designations to be posted outside the main office doors. It gets a little hectic, I mean, nearly two thousand furs all trying to fit into a space the size of a rugby post. It paid to be early.
Around half an hour later the school was alive once again, the parking lot was full, the hallways were bustling with both students and teachers trying to get to their first form class of the year. The senior year comprised of around 300 students, one of the biggest on record, with a multitude in diversity, both in species and in culture. As I navigated the busy halls a familiar voice called from behind, follows only moments later by a large brown paw pulling at my shoulder. Turning round I was greeted by the familiar face of the hand owner, gleaming teeth, spiky blond head fur and a smile that could melt you in a heartbeat.
"Hey Shaun, how'd your holiday go" said the figure.
"Sup Blake....all I can say is meh" I responded to the Otter. Blake and I were in the same form class since I started hear, he also got me involved in tramping, which I might add is way more fun than its given credit for, I mean, hours
on end with a bunch of hunky sometimes shirtless guys, what's not to like?
"Looks like were in the same form again Dawg" Blake declared while looking over me at my registry slip.
"Can you please stop calling me that, but yeah looks like we are" I laughed. The period moved on, we got our timetables and our form teacher, a large bear named Mr. Brickell, went over the school rules and punishment. You know...all the basic stuff.
With the ring of the bell, all of the students transferred to their first class. In my case it was Biology with a teacher called Mrs. Nightingale. Since I was little I was fascinated with science, and biology had been my favorite subject for as long as can remember. Before you ask, no, it isn't just because we get to watch videos when we cover reproduction and the chance to look over every part of the glamorous anatomy of numerous species. I was just memorized by the complexity of the body. How, literally, trillions upon trillions of cells can come together to make an organism. This of course encouraged my parents to push me into becoming a doctor; as well as my previous teacher, only because he saw how I liked to slice open rats during dissection periods a little too much. You can just guess how much they were disappointed when I told them I wanted to be a Paleobiologist. I'd always found it weird that they weren't disappointed when I told them I was gay, but as soon as their "little boy" doesn't want to be a doctor, the whole world seems to end.
As the students began to fill the lab, I guessed that it would only be a small class. I recognized a few of their faces from last year; Kelly, a golden retriever, from last year's math class sat a few seats to the left; Chris, a Lion, sat a few seats behind. He was the typical jock, we were on the tramping team together last year; and unfortunately Richie, a Timber wolf, sat next to Chris. Let's put it this way, if I came out he'd be the most of my worries. He had as much muscle as Jason and Sam and was on nearly every major sports team in school; Rugby, Football, Basketball, etc. He also had an issue with learning pretty much anything academic.
The sound of the classroom door closing shut recaptured my attention as stunted Capybara made her way towards the front of the classroom, looking over us and counting as she moved. She seemed nice and looked like she was probably in her late 40's. I'd asked around in form room about her, apparently she's super nice when in a good mood and that she only teaches the senior biology classes. At least she's qualified.
"Is there someone missing" she said cheerfully. Retrieving a laptop from her bag she began to take registration; everyone responding with either a cheerful "Yes Mrs" or a half-hearted "here".
She went over it again, talking quietly to herself. She took a deep breath and shouted over the wondering whispers "is there a Shane Parker here." I looked around hitting myself, I had totally forgot about meeting up with Shane this morning, but maybe he was ill or something, I dared not take my phone out to check for any unread messages, the schools ban on phones and iPods allowed all teachers the right to confiscate them for as long as they liked. I found it hard to believe that Shane would miss the first day of school, but I suspected that he'd have a good reason.
The period moved on, Mrs. Nightingale went over the class rules, safety and procedure and soon the period was over. The rest of the day went by quickly, double statistics with Mr. Hamilton, Physics with Ms. Lee. Lunch was really the only break we had during the day. Sure we had 30 minutes morning tea, but you couldn't have a decent conversation.
I was walking by the front of school; heading toward the cafeteria; when I saw Shane walking through the main gates, head down as if trying to not to capture any unwanted attention. All he did was smile at me as he skulked past and walked on.
"Shane...is everything alright?" I wondered. He had a slight limp and his tail was hanging limp, from his body. The massive Rottweiler slouched as he made his moved away from me.
"Yeah Shaun....everything's ok". His eyes were blood shot and his right ear was torn. He no longer had any pride in his step. The Rottie simply staggered onwards, he knew I noticed that something was wrong. Shane always acted distant when he didn't want anyone to see that he was hurt and was known for his nasty habit of getting into fights. I'd have to hope that he'd tell me in his own time if it was just a fight or something worse.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Walking into the cafeteria my nose was bombarded with the numerous smells of both food and furs alike. I usually ate lunch with Shane in our little table in the corner by the doors, away from the commotion that often took over the lunch room. The cafeteria wasn't usually crowded but since it was the start of the year and the new students hadn't yet learned that the schools dinner ladies weren't exactly known for their culinary expertise, the room was a hive of commotion. Most of the student body ate outside either in the numerous picnic areas or on the fields surrounding the campus in their social groups.
As I walked through the labyrinth of fury bodies and hard plastic tables I found that my usual spot had been taken. Standing there in the middle of the lunch room made me feel uneasy, blank stares followed me wherever I moved. I hated been the center of attention.
I was just about to run out of the cafeteria when the booming voice "HEY DAWG!!! OVER HERE", forced me to reconsider.
I looked over my shoulder and saw Blake's large arms waving me over. I gave a sigh of relief and walked over to his table; at least I didn't have to eat alone.
"Sup Dawg, where's Shane?" Blake said curiously. I took a seat next to Blake, placing my lunch on the table.
"I don't know...he was acting really distant earlier, and he was late to school" I responded. "By the way...ever call me 'DAWG' again...your head will role" I said with a foreboding smile spread across my muzzle.
"Anyways...guys, this is Shaun." Blake spoke, interrupting the conversation of the other furs who were sitting across from us.
"Hey there, I'm Zewei Liu" said a cheerful pink mouse that was sat next to Blake. "It's always nice to meet another one of Blake's friends" she giggled.
"It's nice to meet you too" I said with a smile, trying to match her enthusiasm. "I'm Shaun by the way."
The three other furs introduced themselves one after the other from left to right along the line they were sitting in.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Amber Wilkinson" said a skinny vixen, her tail swishing in the air behind her. "Sup dude, I'm Justin" a muscular bear said while offering his paw for a shake. "And I'm Catlin Davis" softly spoke a petite Pomeranian at the end of the table.
The three went back to their conversation, something about some mindless talent show that I don't bother to watch on a weekly basis.
"You hang around with Shane Parker don't you" Zewei said over the loud discussion her friends were having.
"Yeah I do, were best friends" I said with a smile.
"I thought I was your best friend" Blake said with a chuckle.
"Not if you keep calling me Dawg" I laughed.
"OMG!" barked Amber, turning away from her conversation "you know that Rottie hunk."
"He sure does" said Shane. "Amber has a huge crush on him" he whispered to me "as well do most girls in school" he said sticking his tongue out at Amber. "Shane's quite the ladies man"
"Who wouldn't" interrupted Catlin, "with those guns I'm surprised he doesn't have a girlfriend...wait...he doesn't have a girlfriend right" she said quickly turning to me.
"Not that I know of" I said nervously. All three girls gave a sigh and drifted off into their own little fantasies.
"That Rottweiler isn't so hot" Justin said in a gruff tone. "I mean, my arms are way bigger than his" he stated whilst flexing his large biceps. The simple sight of this caused the whole table to burst with laughter, the reasons which were completely oblivious to Justin.
"Looks like someone's jealous" nudged Zewei. Justin snorted and turned around, trying to hide the blush under his dark brown fur.
Lunch passed smoothly, jokes were shared and laughs were made. For the first time since I came to Redwood High I felt like I belonged with a group. I learnt that Justin had moved here at the end of last year and was interested in the tramping club, thanks to Shane and Amber and Catlin were on the year book committee. The lunch bell rang, signaling the end of our encounter. I hadn't expected them to be so welcoming; I guess opening up to people isn't as bad as I thought. Blake wanted me to convince Shane to eat with them, much to Amber's delight and I agreed. I thought it would be for the best if I came out of my shell a little bit. I would just have to be careful.