Hope and Dreams part 8
#8 of h+D
Just for Theonetoolove on your commute!
"You poor dear!" Mrs. Cowell cooed. "Of course you can stay here". She was the hugging type, giving him the big bear hug he needed, and knew he wasn't gonna get from another.
"Vincent don't be rude, take his bags to the guest room. Would you like anything? Water, a snack?"
Issac smiled a little, Mrs. Cowell was being hysterical. "No maam, I just need time to process this, I'll be fine". Vincent picked up his bags, making their weight look minuscule. "Thank you so much".
"Don't even think about it. You're such a nice boy, not like some of those football players mind you". She trailed off. So Issac thanked her again and agreed about some of the players. Then he followed Vincent to a room on the first floor away from the others, but right at the bottom of the stairs.
It was small, clearly only meant for a guest, but that's just what he was. It had a twin bed, a dresser, a window into the backyard, a closet and a nightstand with a clock radio.
"This is the guest room". Vincent abounded, covering the bed with the bags. "We don't get guests often to be honest, but really, stay as long as you need too."
He was very confused on how to go about talking. He scratched the back of his head and looked around aimlessly. Issac smiled at the large bear. His muscle, his size, attitude and strength were nothing when confronted with extreme and new emotions.
"Dude it's cool, I'm not like, supersensitive to the topic". He sighed, patting the bed for Vincent to sit. "I knew this was gonna happen man, she was a pitiful drunk, end of story." There was no venom in his voice. No rage, no anything.
Issac knew he was being very nonchalant about his mother being taken from him. He felt a lot worse than he led on, hoping the Bear didn't ask any questions, even as he said it was fine too.
Vincent could see that and eyed Issac with a deep stare.
"Really man just.....don't keep it in. I can't imagine how destroyed I'd be if my mom was taken. I know I'm supposed to lead you away from those feelings, but..." He scratched the back of his head again. "Really, it's not healthy to bottle it up like most guys do, that's why they turn out like Jeromy, they're all pent up rage" he grinned a bit "But maybe I should practice what I preach too huh?"
Issac shrugged, "I'm not like him though, it's completely different" he ignored the attempt at humor, he knew that if he opened up to any kind of emotion everything would cascade out from behind the walls, and he would be reduced to a pathetic whimpering, tearing mess in the bears house, his previous programming about revealing his emotions forbade it. In front of Vincent he didn't dare look weak.
Vincent stood up again. "No it's not. Look umm, just get your stuff settled and come up in my room, Ok?"
"Got it". Issac said, giving two dorky thumbs up. Vincent left and Issac began rummaging through his few things. After a moment, he regrettably shed a tear for his alcoholic mess of a mother. Then it turned into actual crying when he could no longer hear the bear's footsteps on the stairs.
'Get it together'. He said to himself. 'She's there to get help, and then.....'. He quieted down, who the hell was he kidding? This would make her clean, not their life a wonderland. Even when she got out whenever, they would live in a run down house and eat meals apart, relying on Issac to balance housework, schoolwork and the job he would need, whilst she worked for minimum wage at some place where she wouldn't try, would get fired and then move on, never moving up, and never making their situation any better.
With his clothes packed away he looked at the mirror above the dresser, his eyes were red, and his fur was filthy with dirt and such from the construction site. He was actually a bit embarrassed that he showed up so pitifully. Hell, he was sure that anyone would take him in at the moment; he was more pathetic than he feared.
The sad, filthy lonely mutt stared back. His life had always been a series of defeats, but up until now he had always moved on, pretending not to care about the last heartbreak. And Vincent's heartbreak was impending.....
'Why me?' He asked no one lamely, putting his hands in his paws, 'why why why.....?'.
...................................................................
Issac decided it was best to have a shower, and on instinct he flipped the faucet on all the way and tried to turn it until it clicked. But their shower was nice, new and not broken. A walk in with a canopy shower head, a radio and actual choice in water temperature. His shower was cold unless you clicked the faucet back past 'Very hot', and then it got Luke warm.
Dirt literally pored off of him in a filthy spinning puddle. He felt weird in someone else's shower, like an intruder. Like at any moment someone would walk in on schedule because he wasn't supposed to be there, and kick him out. But he would have to get used to it for a while.
Tomorrow's school day would be miserable. Rumors about Vincent and him would circulate by third period. Jeromy would piss him off in gym, and then they would drive to the gym together with Vincent's mind still not made up on where they stood.
Great, more to piss Issac off, as if his mother being......
He started to cry again, but stopped and got out, standing in front of the large mirror, bottles, tubes and such hanging around on the counter, most brands he didn't recognize or not even for his species. Issac's sense of intrusion deepened. He retreated across the hall to his room.
He shut the door and got dressed. He loved the feeling of wet fur in his clothes, dawning sleep pants and a red tee-shirt, noting the first signs of abs and biceps with pleasure. They weren't much, but they were a start and the first bit of positive news today.
He needed to shorten his list, Isaac felt a need to confront Vincent about the kiss. It was painful to wait, but it was scary to think about getting an answer.
Issac ventured into Vincent's room, the bear at his lap top, casually clicking away. "Have a nice shower?"
Issac nodded, sitting on the bed, but not looking over the bears shoulder. "It's so weird, having the idea of living here has replaced the awe with a sense of intrusion".
Vincent smiled. "Don't feel that way, look, my mom's making dinner and then we'll hit the gym".
Issac wanted to mention his newly discovered muscles but didn't, he was too distracted, they seemed irrelevant.
"Vincent look". Issac started, getting the bears attention. "While I stay here....we need to settle things".
Vincent cocked his head. "Like what?" His seeming ignorance to the fact that he had kissed the dog was infuriating. Hell, if it wasn't the high point in Isaac's high school life, he would have thought it was a dream himself.
Issac shrugged. "You kinda freaked out on me about problems you're having...." Issac paused. "You kissed me......"
Issac could feel himself blushing, his eyes looking at the floor, then up at the bear.
Vincent went stock still, blushing also beneath his fur. "Right...." He closed the laptop. "Umm Issac, I don't think I'm ready for....THAT kind of relationship".
Issac could see the pity in Vincent's big eyes, and he didn't hate Vincent, but he was heavily saddened by the words all the same. He tried to shrug it off, he knew this would most likely happen. But his shoulder was sore from all the brush offs in his life, and this was a big one. Fucking hope. Making him feel like.....like he had a shot at being happy.
"I kinda figured". Issac tried to say as calmly as possible, but clearly some sad slipped in, and Vincent went quiet with pity.
"Don't worry". Issac said. "Let's umm, look into your other issues. Dad, hobbies sports expectations and such. I've been particularly curious about the hobbies one". Issac added with a grin, noting with annoyance that he was programmed this way. His mother was gone, and his hope at love was shot, and he still put others first before his own recovery.
The grin worked, bringing Vincent out of the awkward slump. "I umm....." He started, Issac listening intently. "I....kinda want to be a umm......" He was blushing again.
"Come on!". Issac encouraged, impatient in suspense.
"A doctor". Vincent said, practically whispering.
"Really?". Issac said, a little shocked. "Umm, that's great.........why hide that?" It was an honest question.
"I don't know. I just feel like a kid or something. I want to be a doctor. It's so simple to say, but a lot of hard work. Either that or a musician".
Issac cocked his head, a stupid smile on his face.
"Really? Are you any good?". Then Issac laughed to himself. "Wow man, one of your dreams is selfless, and the other is.....well being famous".
Vincent shrugged, a smile on his face too.
"I know right? I'm alright, but I haven't gone with it, like to a recital or concert or whatever. I don't know how other people like me". Then he thought about the opposite careers. "See, even my dreams are conflicted".
"Why do you hide it? That kinda seems like a dumb secret to keep. No offense but why don't you tell people you're an aspiring doctor/musician?"
Vincent shrugged, standing and walking over to his guitar, an electric cherry red beauty. "Note that I only play guitar a little, I mostly play the keyboard".
Issac noted Vincent avoided the question, but let the bear play. He was actually REALLY good.....
His fingers were a short stubby brown blur of motion. Issac heard the strumming, plucking and rubbing of chords, but couldn't see how they were possibly done with such precision and perfection. In the blur, the notes flowed off in a perfect mimic of one of the songs they listened to in the car. "Salvation" by 'Silent Sufferer'.
Issac jammed along, the room was lyric-less but the two knew the other was thinking the words, and the song, even without the bass, drums or words, still felt whole.
When the song ended, Issac had a stupid smile on his face, a grin that wouldn't leave, the bear had in a simple four minute song yanked him from his depression.
"Your really good man. See now if I had that talent I wouldn't hide it. I kinda suck on musically myself". He rubbed his fingers on his chest sarcastically, like Vincent should be impressed.
The bear smiled. "You think so?"
"I know so". Issac said, going back to Vincent's playing. "Take it somewhere".
Issac paused a moment. "The talent show man! Sign up for the December show! You'll be awesome".
Vincent casually put his guitar away. "Naw, I'm fine without that". It was definite, even if it wasn't worded as such, he wasn't going to go willingly. So Issac naturally pushed it.
"Come on, you'll do amazing, and everyone will love you and stuff".
Vincent reclined in his bed, a cocky smile on their face. "Everyone already loves me".
Issac punched him in his rock hard chest. "Shut up dude, you know what I mean".
But Issac couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite, but that wasn't the issue at the moment. He himself had twisted Vincent's use of the word love, and blatantly hurt himself more. 'How right you are', Issac thought, 'everyone does love you......'
Issac half listened to Vincent's words, looking over to the bear. His perfect body.....his kind heart......and his natural cuddliness. It was hard to bare.
Then the twins shot up the stairs, Issac catching their eye. "Issac's here!. Come play Issac!. Come on!".
"Leave them be you two". Their mother called up. "Issac will be here long enough to play with you two, don't worry".
For some reason it only now dawned on Issac that Vincent's entirety would be tempting him for a while. He would have to be wary not to ruin their friendship, and at the same time not miss a chance to stare at his chiseled features, or admire his gracious being.
But in the back of Issac's mind, plans began forming without his conscious thought. Out of anxiety, stress he formed his plan for escape.