Mirror Maze: A Cleansing Release of Unheavy Thought
#3 of The Mirror Maze
A group of college kids on a double date go to the fair while it's in town. But they soon find that things in the mirror maze aren't always what they seem.
Disclaimer: This one is gonna go places that may be uncomfortable or triggering.
Which may include: Physical Abuse, sexual abuse, spousal abuse, miscarriage, suicide, depression, and maybe more.
so, strap in!
This chapter is all about Peter and his visions. He is given an opportunity to confront a ghost from his past.
Peter didn't like to dwell on his past. In fact, he shook the thoughts from his head whenever they came to him. The childhood friend he had lost. Patrick was a quiet, well behaved kid. Picked on for being small, effeminate and just awkward. Peter invited him over one day after class to play street fighter with Frank. The three had hung out after school most days after that. Peter's place was the spot. They would play games in the basement his father built before he was born as a workshop. In time it formed into a bit of a man-cave. Over the years, kids would come and go, but it was Frank, Patrick and Peter down there most days. It was the place Peter first experimented with his sexuality, the place Patrick came out to him. It was the same place where Peter turned the lion down. That's when it started. These were the memories Peter avoided. Patrick was never shy about dating, but the relationships never lasted. It was always hard to see the lion admit things didn't work out. Seeing the light fade from his friend's eyes a little more over time. After a while he'd disappear for months at a time, coming back less alive and more angry.
Those were the memories that rushed into Pete's mind in this cold place. He could see it in the mirrors. It was as if they were showing him flashes, out of the corner of his eye. Pete thought he could see the lion making a sideways glance. Those were the only times he looked normal. Like he was trying to say something. In the past, however, any attempt to talk to him resulted in an argument, or worse, halfhearted responses. At least when he was angry, he was lucid. He was there. Pete called out to the lion. The only response was the distant sound of the river, the sniffling of the feline standing on the edge of that bridge. The weak whimpering of someone who had run out of answers that is forever etched into the back if the wolf's mind.
The sounds of the river grew louder as Pete made his way around a corner. The lights were dimmer down this way, a haze of mist filled the air. He could taste the ozone on his tongue as he walked into the dark hall.
"It's getting weird again." He said to himself before taking a deep breath. Any second now things would change and he'd start hallucinating.
His steps turned into a shuffle as he held out his paws to the walls to find his way through the dark. It wasn't long before he ran out of wall to hold onto. He felt around him for something to hold onto, but there was nothing solid. He looked around and saw no signs of light. Just the dense foggy air. He fell to his knees to feel around the ground. Asphalt.
He crawled around the ground until he saw that the fog was starting to clear. The moon was bright enough that he had to cover his eyes and adjust. When he lowered his hand he saw him. The lion was sitting on the bridge's railing. His dad's car was still running, the steam from the exhaust rising far above it. The Lion's arms were crossed tight on his chest as he swayed back and forth as if balancing on the metal railing high above the river.
Peter watched him at a distance, not wanting to scare lion. Occasionally Patrick would look at the moon, wipe his eyes and continue his heavy breathing. He was clearly lost in his own thoughts. It was just as Pete remembered, it felt the same.
He slowly approached Patrick, "Hey.. Pat?"
Patrick moved his head only a little, glancing at him briefly before his gaze fell back onto the water below.
Patrick cleared his throat, "The sky is so beautiful, tonight." He looked up at the full moon.
"It is." Pete choked out, "It's good to see you, Pat."
"I don't know what to do, Pete." He sniffled, "I don't know what I'm doing."
Pete walked towards the lion, "Let's talk about it over some food, okay?"
Pat looked over at him, holding his hand up to stop the wolf, "Please stay back."
Pete was rooted where he stood, "Come on, let's get out of here."
"It's too much." Tears rolled down his furred cheek, "I can't do it anymore."
"You don't have to do anything, Pat."
"I thought that if I just let it take me, I would die in my sleep. Or maybe my heart would just stop beating."
"I'm so sorry, Pat."
"The pain," Pat frowned, "The pain I can get used to." He stared out into nothing, "The anger.. That I can't live with."
"Let me help you."
The lion looked over at Pete, a slight smile on his face, "You only want to help now that I am here." He looked back over the water, "You haven't talked to me in months. Not even a hello."
"I was giving you space." Pete felt his voice raise, just like before.
"Tch, space?" Pat grabbed the railing, standing up on the wrong side of the fence, "You stopped wanting me around." He stretched his arms out, the updraft pushing his beanie off his head and onto the street behind him.
"That's not true."
"Please." He spat, "Don't pretend I didn't see how everyone acted around after they knew."
"I'm sorry."
"Look..." Pat sighed, "I get it. Really. I can't imagine it's easy to be around me. And it's not like I could have helped what happened to me. But." He wiped his eyes, "But I can see that I just remind people of things they don't want to think about. And yeah, it sucks feeling you have to censor yourself around me. And I just.." He lowered his head, "I just don't know how to fix it."
"It can be hard to be around you, yeah." Pete scratched his head, "But it's just because we don't know how to help you."
"The same thing will just keep happening." He took a deep exasperated breath, "I will vent and nothing changes. Then I get weird looks, people start talking in hushed voices. Like it's all I can talk about. Can't talk about anything normal. No one wants to be around someone like that. But you all get to walk away. You can leave whenever you want." He burst into tears, "But I'm stuck with it. I replay it in my head night after night like it just happened. I can't sleep, I can barely breath anymore. And I'm just so god damned angry all the time. I can't get away from it! So I am sorry! I'm sorry that I am no longer fun to be around. But at least you get some peace."
Pete shook his head, "I never avoided you."
He could feel himself getting angry, he was about to say something, then stopped himself. This was how the conversation went the last time. But Pete was older, now. He mulled this moment over in his head time and time again. This time was different.
"This is the part where you tell me to jump, if I think it will fix things." Patrick said, blankly.
"I was wrong last time." Pete wiped the tears from his eyes, "I just.."
"Just what?" Patrick asked, looking tired.
"I'm sorry I didn't see what you were going through, or how bad it was."
Patrick opened his mouth to speak.
"But!" Pete cut him off, "You drove everyone away. You were the one who refused to talk. We had to pry to get you to say anything, and you were the one who kept turning it into some big argument."
"Look, I-"
"No! Hold on!" Pete yelled, "I'm not done!" He took a breath, "I understand your anger, really, I do. No one is questioning it's validity. But you let it fester inside you. I blamed myself for years until I realized that you wanted this. You wanted everyone to not want you around. You wanted it to be easier. You wanted to jump." Pete took a deep breath, "In the end, you still jumped off this bridge. And it sucks that you didn't trust anyone enough to really open up. You held back in every conversation. I know now that there was a small part of you that didn't want any help. You wanted things to get bad enough that you could validate this."
"I.." Pat looked at Pete, then back to the water, "I just don't want to be angry anymore. It's too much."
Pete inched towards Pat until he was able to hold his hand, "I know. But you're not alone, Pat." He gave the lion's paw a squeeze, "Please, let me help you."
Patrick looked into Pete's eyes for only a moment before they darted downward. They welled with tears before the lion leaned towards the wolf. Pete grabbed his friend, pulling him up and over the railing. Pete hugged him harder than he had ever hugged someone before. They embraced for what seemed like an eternity, the two of them crying their eyes out.
Pete pulled back from the hug to look his friend in the face again, but saw only the empty hall of the mirror maze. He could see only himself in the mirrors all around him. From every angle he could see his tear streaked face contort in confusion.
"What?" He said, the sound bounced off the walls loud enough to make him wince. His breath seemed to have been taken straight out of his lungs. His heart felt like it had been broken all over again. A flash of that night, Patrick and himself fighting on the bridge before the lion ultimately leaned over the water and let go.
All for nothing. Pat was still dead. Pete felt he might be next. Like he would just sit here until he succumbed to the same fate. He shook his head.
"No!" He shouted, "I tried my best." He said to no one.
Pete got to his feet, "I'm not going to let you win!" he growled, "I was young. It wasn't my fault. I didn't know what I know now."
He breathed in, "I was wrong, but that's life." he said, defiantly. He felt a sense of ease, that he had grown in all these years. He was sad for his regrets, sure. Of course, if he could go back, he would. But he couldn't. That is just life.
With the flurry of thoughts over, he nodded to himself in the mirror, ready to leave move on and see what else this maze had for him. Filled with renewed determination, he headed down the hall. There were no longer breaks, just a single corridor with a door at the end. Reaching the door, he looked back at the maze one more time before pushing it open.
There was a light above him, attached to a small building. He looked around to see a parking lot in front of him and a chain link fence. Before he closed the door he looked around for any of the others.
"Adrian? Jeff? David?" He called out, with no response.
He looked back into the maze, "Shit." He said to himself. If he had to go through that, the other's might be stuck, too.
"Damnit." He said, thinking about Adrian.
The door started pulling itself closed, which Pete struggled to keep it open, "Oh no you don't!" He told the door, prying it open enough to squeeze back into. It slammed shut behind him. The maze was dim, the lights above flickering. The mirrors were broken, there wasn't much of a path anymore and the air was stale, damp. Something was very wrong now. He called out to the others, but got no response. He weight the options in his head before settling on braving the maze again.