FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Starbase 186 Habitat Area

"Richard! It's been a long time since I've had so much fun," Breena Ki, a dark-colored echidna with red head-fur, said. She was wearing a colorful sundress as she walked arm in arm with Dr. Okan. He was dressed casually as well and was in cheerful spirits.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Breena," he smiled.

After spending the last few weeks working up the courage, he finally asked her out on a date. He was feeling like he was on a high he hadn't felt in awhile. They had gone out and ate at one of the nicer restaurants on the station and then to a reserved holodeck program of some amusement park on Corneria that Land had recommended to him. They had such a good time that he debated about maybe doing it again in person. They kept talking until, finally, they arrived at her quarters.

"So, I know you've been mulling over asking me out for a while," Breena smiled. "Do you want to make this a regular thing?"

Okan smiled calmly, "What gave it away?"

"Well we're both night owls, and both have similar careers," Breena said, "I mean there aren't too many people who'd consider a relationship with a doctor or an Exo Biologist who are both very well immersed in their fields."

"Ok you got me. Yes, I'd like to make it a thing."

"A thing?" Breena laughed. "Is that all?"

"You know what I mean," he said, putting his arms around her and they kissed.

"So...you want to come inside?" She said coyly.

"More than anything," Dr. Okan smiled.

Breena keyed the code on her quarters and they disappeared between the parting doors.

==================================

Title: No Sleep

Episode 02a Special 02

IDP 2009, 2010, 2020

Edited by Saurex Conoway

==================================

The next day 0200

The day had started well. Okan arrived at the station's medical bay in good spirits and greeted everyone there cheerfully as he had his coffee. Everyone else was tired from the late shift and was ready to turn in for the night.

He talked to the station's physician, Doctor M'benga, for a while before he went to his office. It was a quiet morning so far, so he decided it was time to start his monthly letter home. They occasionally traded shifts in order to keep the station's sickbay staffed at all times. Doctor Okan never had any problem adjusting his schedule. He always made sure to plan accordingly.

He was caught up on anything important that needed to be done so he figured he'd make some use of the quiet time while it lasted.

"Dear Mother and Father," Dr. Okan began dictating the letter to his computer, "I hope this letter finds you in good health. It has been several weeks since I have last written to you, but I assure you I am doing rather well. Things are quite busy out on the frontier these days and being in charge of the crew of the Raptor's physical well being, it can be quite taxing." He paused taking another sip and thinking.

"Computer hold," he said.

His console beeped and he sat forward and looked it over. It was a good start, that much was for sure.

So much had happened that it was tough to figure out what to talk about.

"Computer resume," he said, leaning back in his chair and resuming dictation.

"When I last wrote I was dreading having to pull double duties, but it has enabled me to get into the real guts of the job. On a station, there are the occasional injuries and outbreaks, but being in the thick of the action on a starship while under fire is something else. I feel so alive practicing my craft and bringing people back from the edge of oblivion in situations where they would probably lose their lives."

He paused for a moment and checked his medbay to make sure there weren't any patients coming in. He was already thought to be a little eccentric. He didn't need it to be misinterpreted that he sat around talking to himself during the early morning shift.

"If not for all the excitement I would probably be thinking about putting in a transfer again." He continued. "Now however I think I will retain my position because skilled physicians are needed out here greatly and there are so many people depending on--"

Suddenly the whole station shuddered.

"Oh my," Okan said, "must be a ship docking, but why this...."

Suddenly the station shook harder and the klaxons began to sound.

"RED ALERT! RED ALERT! ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS. RAPTOR CREW REPORT TO SHIP IMMEDIATELY!" The computer announced.

Okan made a quick scrabble for his pad and dashed for the door of the med bay. Before the door could close he ran back inside.

"Computer save message!"

He ran out the door and down the corridor.

"So much for a quiet night," Okan muttered, regretting staying up as he made a mad dash towards the Raptor's launch bay. He rounded a corner and met Jakar coming from the opposite direction.

"Doctor," Jakar grunted as Okan fell into pace with him.

"You know we should start using transporters for this," Okan panted, "because these mad scrambles can be a bit much sometimes!"

"Perhaps you should exercise more," Jakar jeered with a brief flash of amusement.

"Har har," Okan puffed as the security door parted and let them through quickly, shutting behind them.

The main gangway into the ship that led into deck three was open before them, several crewmen already departing into the ship's inner causeways. Okan was grateful that sickbay was not that far from the main causeway. Jakar was already heading up a ladder at the front of the bulkhead before they could part with further discussion.

Someone touched his shoulder and he looked over to see Breena flash him a quick smile and a wave as she headed for her station.

The station was jarred again by more weapons fire before they could say anything. The Raptor groaned a bit as some strain was put on its umbilicus connections. Okan continued around the corner and entered sickbay. His head nurse was already on board.

"I trust everyone is here, nurse Twila?"

"All present and accounted for." Twila Laren, a female Cornerian coyote smiled. "We are as ready as we can be."

"Excellent. Okan to the Bridge Medical is a go."

"Acknowledged," Terri-Lu responded over the com.

* * *

Harry was the last one usually on board within an acceptable time. He quickly slammed the large button that shut the huge doors and sealed off the causeway. He was panting as he tapped his com badge.

"Commander Martinez to bridge, Mr. Land had better be on board this time!"

"I am captain, don't worry about it," Land's voice responded.

"All personnel present and accounted for sir," Jakar's voice cut in. "We are underway and preparing to disembark."

"Very good timing people," Harry said. "I'll be on the bridge in a few seconds."

He smiled, feeling the ship break free of its moorings and had begun to reorient itself to leave the confines of the station, "It's about time we got that right."

* * *

It didn't take long for the first hit of weapons fire to jar the Raptor. Okan held on to his desk and watched the lights flicker. That was a good indication it meant at least the shields hadn't been breached. There was then the sudden feeling of the world turning rather fast and Okan closed his eyes to get over the distortion caused by the Raptor's spinning maneuver it used to deflect energy weapons. New people on the ship usually tossed their lunch the first time it happened. There were a few other jarring moments and then suddenly the red alert was called off.

"Wow, that was unusual," Okan muttered. "Any calls? Did I miss something?"

"Nothing doctor. No pages or anything. We're standing down from red alert. No injuries were reported," Twila said, watching the situation board.

"Well, no news is always good news," Okan smiled.

* * *

"I don't get it." Land said. "I'm seeing it and I still don't believe it."

The Urthean Battlecruiser that had suddenly dropped out of warp and viciously attacked the station was now fleeing after only taking minor damage.

"I will admit it's quite unusual," Jakar mused.

"They didn't even take time to threaten us or to even gloat," Harry said, getting out of the command chair and pacing in front of it, "just showed up, fired a couple of shots, and then ran like hell."

"Well good riddance then," Land said, stretching and yawning hugely. "I'm back off to bed. Let's turn around and head back, Cap'n."

"No, unfortunately, we can't," Harry grunted. "They could be back and we have to stay deployed."

"Awwagh!" Land protested. "When are they going to get the damn station defenses upgraded so we don't have to do this anymore?"

"They will be done when they are done," Harry said sternly. "Until then, we do it this way. Stand down from the red alert, begin standard patrol."

"Cap'n it's three in the--"

"Enough, Lieutenant," Harry said, plopping down in the command chair. "We do it the hard way until there is a better solution. Ms. Lu, hail the Starbase."

"Frequency open," Terri Lu responded.

The screen wavered and a tired Captain Stiles appeared on the viewer. "Good evening...or perhaps morning, Commander."

"What's the damage?" Harry asked.

"Nothing too serious. They were mostly hitting the asteroid," Stiles replied. "No one is injured, and everything seems fine structurally. Perhaps they are just rattling our cages. It's a new approach to their normal tactics."

"No kidding," Harry quipped. "We'll keep an eye out for more trouble."

"Captain," Jakar said as his console started beeping. "I think the trouble is already heading this way again. I've got two Urthean Scuttas approaching at high warp."

"Here we go again," Harry muttered. "We're on it, Captain. Red alert."

Two Urthean Scuttas dropped out of warp and charged toward the base. The Raptor had positioned itself between them and the starbase, yet the two ships passed it without even a second thought and began attacking the base again. The Raptor spun back around and took off after the one closest to the Starbase. The Scutta's hammered the same area of the base with torpedoes and repulsor beams. The Raptor attacked the one closest to the base and no sooner had its shields taken a pounding it broke off its attack. The second ship then began to attack the base itself and also retreated when the Raptor attempted to attack it.

"For crying out loud they did it again!" Land muttered, banging his console.

"Minimal damage to the station," Jakar reported.

"Ugggh...this is going to be a long night," Harry muttered leaning his head back in his chair.

"Perhaps I can help?" Dr. Okan said, entering with a hover tray full of steaming coffee mugs. "Nothing keeps the neurons firing better than a hearty dose of caffeine."

"Thank you, Doctor," Harry said, grabbing one gratefully. "Shouldn't you be in sickbay?"

"No reason to be yet, since you were busy calling the alert on and off," Okan said, passing out the rest to the crew before taking a seat at one of the auxiliary stations. "I figured I may as well see what's going on up here."

"That's one we're trying to figure out," Harry said as Land brought the ship back around, "Jakar, keep your eyes open. I think we may be in for a long night."

The long-range sensor alarm went off.

"For the love of..." Harry sighed, "tell me that's not."

"It is," Commander Rivas growled. "Long range sensors detect a Urthean warp signature approaching at high speed."

"Looks like I spoke too soon. You might want to hold on to something Doctor," Harry muttered. "Jakar get a fix on that vessel if you can."

"I'm already on that," Okan reported, trying not to touch or activate anything.

"I'm picking up a Tyrant class starship of an all too familiar hull configuration," Jakar reported. "Three guesses as to who."

"Wonderful," Harry grumbled. "All power to forward shields, arm all torpedo tubes."

"No problem sir, here he comes," Jakar replied.

The Urthean vessel dropped out of warp a few kilometers ahead of them, its main turrets primed and ready for battle. Xox's ship unleashed a stream of torpedoes towards the Raptor, its plasma cannons pumping hot energy after them. This time the Raptor targeted the lead projectile with its phasers and detonated it. The ensuing blast destroyed the torpedo and its companions in a fireball of fratricide. The Raptor did a side-step maneuver, rolled, and dodged the rest of the volley. It then fired its impulse engines and charged towards the Urthean ship.

"Nice shooting Jakar. I'm sure that got him all riled up. Begin tactical maneuver Martinez Theta One," Harry said, watching the ship close fast, its guns priming for another volley.

"Here we go...hold on everyone." Land said, typing in the maneuver request and punching the execute button.

The engines suddenly roared to life as the Raptor jumped to maximum warp and quickly zipped around to the vessel's flank before dropping back out of warp. It quickly fired the impulse engines at full speed and rammed Xox's ship's shields. There was a momentary flash as the two energy bubbles collided, but explosions could be seen as Xox's shield emitters overloaded as the Raptor battered its way through its shield bubble. The Raptor pushed on, rolling onto its back, letting the Urthean ship have it with the topside phaser banks.

On the bridge, a conduit overloaded and sparks showered down on them.

"I hope that wasn't serious," Okan muttered, looking up at the small fire glow that could be seen in the grating.

"It usually isn't," Jakar muttered from behind him. "All direct hits captain," Jakar added as the Raptor flew over the ship and away from it, its shields ruptured. The impact points from the phasers glowed bright red as Xox's ship suddenly spun and took off at warp.

"Please tell me we did something to them," Harry asked.

"Sensors indicate fluctuations in their power grid and a disruption in their engines," Jakar reported. "Not enough to cripple them, but I'm sure it got their attention."

"What about us?" Harry asked.

"Minor damage from the maneuver, but nothing severe," Jakar reported solemnly. "Ms. Phoenix will not be pleased."

The conversation continued as usual as Okan paused to check with his people. Fortunately, no one had been hurt yet.

"If you'll excuse me gentlemen, I think I'll return to sickbay before things get too hectic." Dr. Okan said, heading for the exit.

"Thanks for the treat, Doctor," Harry said, retrieving his cup from the compartment in his command chair he had shoved it into earlier.

The other crew members seemed too busy or on edge. The bridge not necessarily being his place, Okan gracefully excused himself. Walking out into the adjoining corridor, he had to hurriedly step aside as Fara came charging out of a turbo-lift, a severe look of annoyance across her face. Okan was more than relieved to see her bolt between the sliding bridge doors.

Okan was glad for once not to be associated with the daily operations of the vessel. Fara had been more than a handful the few times she'd been in the sickbay. He quickly stepped over to the turbo lift before it could take off.

"Sickbay," he said, feeling the lift begin to move as the computer acknowledged.

* * *

At least an hour of quiet had gone by and Okan was hoping that was the end of it, at least for the night. His hopes were soon to be dashed

He was standing outside of his office, discussing something with nurse Twila when the ship shook again and he braced himself against the wall as the klaxons sounded. Their attackers hadn't given up yet. The lights flickered as weapons fire hit the hull again.

"Well so much for the quiet," he sighed, "better get the staff roused." He said to Twila who nodded, walked into the med ward, and started shouting at the residents. The ship shuddered again and Okan was almost pitched on his face as the inertial dampeners tried to keep up. The ship felt as if it was moving because his vision became a little blurry, although the room itself didn't seem to be moving. Okan tried to keep from losing his lunch as he stepped through the door. He never could get the hang of the Raptor's G-Stabilizer lag. The ship shook hard again, this time more rapidly and violently.

It didn't take long for the calls to sickbay to come in.

The first one was from engineering. It sounded the worst. A conduit had exploded and a crewman was down with severe bleeding. The rest of the reports seemed the usual, assorted, nasty contusions and burns.

Okan quickly grabbed his kit and barked at his orderlies to get into motion as he bolted out the door straight for engineering, his head nurse behind him. It was only a matter of seconds before he entered the engineering bay and spotted the crewmen lying on the floor, bleeding profusely. He was male, an Altairian, recently added to the crew. Okan immediately knelt and started checking his stats with his tricorder. He glanced over at the blown out wall panel and quickly to the ground around him. He determined even before the tricorder reported it, that Odana had taken a lot of shrapnel from the explosion. Behind the emergency force-field, a plasma conduit's fires were quietly suffocated.

"What happened here?" He quietly asked as he began his work. The patient's vitals were weak. A lot of blood had been lost. He already had a good idea what had happened, but witness reports always helped paint a fuller picture.

"I just got back from the bridge," Fara said, looking a little singed and bruised, but I ahealthy. "As soon as the attack began I was telling Knackt to get the plasma injectors back online and apparently. Odanna heard the damn thing rupture before I did. He knocked me out of the way, and then BLAM!"

"I see. He has massive internal injuries. I'll have to get him out of here. Please tell me the transporter is working," Okan said calmly over his shoulder. He quickly attached neurostimulators to keep the patient from going into shock and then used a portable stasis unit to buy him time until he could beam him to sickbay for treatment.

"I...I...think so," Fara said, still a bit rattled.

"Very well. Computer, initiate emergency transport to sickbay," Okan reported.

"Can you help him?" Fara asked as the familiar whine of the transporter started to fill the air.

"Altairian physiology is very resilient," Okan said, using a pressure seal to cover up one of the deep wounds and he dissolved in a blue haze, "I will do my best."

* * *

The battle continued as Okan worked. The ship kept shuddering and he concentrated, his hand never wavering away from where he wanted it to be.

"It would be nice if they could lay off a bit, wouldn't it," Okan said as he removed the last piece of shrapnel from the Odonna's abdomen with the micro transporter and began the tissue regenerator. He suddenly had to brace himself as the ship bucked hard again and the lights faded. He looked out into the triage area of sickbay. The room was gradually filling up. Nurse Twila nodded in agreement with her surgical garb covering most of her face.

"It's been nearly an hour now...non-stop. How are his vitals?" Okan asked, looking down at the placid reptilian face.

"His vitals are stable. I can probably finish him up," Twila stated. "We've got two more just as bad."

Okan nodded and made a mental note to let Fara know that Odanna would make a full recovery. He quickly moved on to his next task. He passed through the sterilization field and took a quick look at the overhead display. The patient was burned and unconscious. His staff had stabilized her and put her in stasis. Okan glanced at her face and stopped in mid-motion.

It was Breena.

His heart suddenly sank. She was usually posted on deck four by her lonesome, in charge of running lab 4. Why she had gotten injured when she was at her post, he didn't know. Her vitals were stable, but weak. His emotions were trying to break his calm, but he quickly got to work and focused on the task at hand. It would not do her any good if he couldn't maintain his physicians' composure. The scans showed her internal organs had practically been cooked from the heat of the plasma and they were all failing. The stasis field was just barely useful in helping stave off deterioration.

. He worked quickly, lowering the biobed canopy and injecting a nano stimulator to try to start cellular regeneration to repair her failing organs. He worked faster, but for every moment of progress, another problem would crop up. The computer started whining that her heart rate had begun rapidly dropping. Nurse Twila joined him in the room.

"This is not good. Prepare some Zenocrine," Okan barked, trying to get ahead of the deterioration. "She's got third-degree burns, practically been cooked alive, massive organ failure."

Twila nodded, quickly checking her medical tricorder as she injected the hypospray. "The Zenorcine is not having an effect."

They had to catch themselves as the ship bucked again under enemy weapons fire.

"Gods damn it! How am I supposed to work like this," Okan growled as the computer continued to shriek, announcing his patient was slowly slipping away.

"She's starting to flatline," Twila noted.

"Stimulators," Okan ordered, "set to thirty micro rads."

"Set Doctor," Twila said, attaching them and stepping back.

"Clear," Okan barked, activating them.

The echidna's body twitched, but the flat trill of the heart monitor kept on.

"Again at seventy," Okan said.

Twila nodded and did as she was told before stepping back.

Again he shocked her and nothing happened. He checked the nanite readings. They had already stopped doing repairs as the body itself had shut down. Okan hit the shock button again and tried to start the nanites, but it was too late.

"Damn it!" He muttered, looking at the readings indicating the patient was gone. Inside, however, he felt like he was perched on the edge of oblivion. He looked down at her and quietly shut down the machine.

"The other two criticals...." He muttered.

"They are being seen to right now, Doctor," Twila said quietly.

"Time of death, oh four hundred fifty-three," Okan said, taking off his surgical mask. "Can I have a moment nurse?"

Twila nodded and left the small operating room.

Okan quietly removed her com badge and placed the morgue tag on top of her.

"I'm sorry Breena...I...did my best."

He drew the cover of the biobed and activated the transporter that would send the body to the ship's morgue. He had never lost a patient before and it didn't help that he knew her. He felt a horrible sinking feeling watching her physical remains dissolve away in a transporter haze. The sinking sensation was quickly replaced by a horrible emptiness the likes of which he had never felt before.

She was a friend, and more than that, her loss felt like it was tearing him apart.

"Easy Richard," Okan sniffed, feeling his insides twist up and wiping an eye. "You are a professional...you can grieve later...others need you."

He sniffled, looking up and seeing the red alert light no longer flashing. A quick slap across the muzzle helped him regain a little of his composure.

"Doctor?" Twila said coming back into the room seeing Okan's back to her. "We need some help. We've got a few more serious injuries coming in."

Okan nodded. "I'm coming."

* * *

The attacks finally stopped for the night. There was a staff meeting, but Okan wasn't paying attention to any of it. It was taking every ounce of control he had to try to suppress his grief. He reported the casualties and injuries, but didn't listen as the others commented. The only one who seemed to notice was Commander Martinez. He let it slide, seeing that something was deeply troubling the Doctor.

There was talk that the earlier maneuver had caused the massive disruption in the power grid that had caused most of the injuries. Okan dropped back in on the conversation about this point.

"....is such reckless maneuvers like that are going to cause such problems," Fara growled. "We can't just jerk the Raptor around and expect her to react perfectly on an untested maneuver!" Fara tapped her claws against the fiberglass of the table. "I almost bought it today if one of my crewmen hadn't had his head on straight! That was too close for me, Commander!"

Harry nodded. "I assumed the ship would perform as it always had," he said regretfully. "It was my mistake. I'll take responsibility for it."

"It's not that, Captain," Fara said. "You're right; the ship should have performed as we discussed, but the Raptor is up for a major overhaul! I still haven't gotten the replacement parts you had me order last time we had a similar discussion. Things like this are bound to happen if Commandant Butthead keeps harassing us and Starfleet has us running back and forth with every convoy." She folded her arms across her chest leaning back in her chair and folding her ears back as well. "I'm an engineer, not a damn miracle worker! I can only do so much."

"I am well aware of that Fara," Harry said quietly. "Believe me, I am doing what I can to rectify that as well. Is there anything else?"

No one spoke up.

"Good. I suggest we all get some rest while we can. I'll put the night watch crew in effect," Harry yawned, "I'm sure Xox will be back eventually. We don't all need to be exhausted. Meeting adjourned."

Terri Lu, Jakar, Land, Rivask, O'mara and Fara each got up and exited the small lounge room with Okan trailing behind.

"Doctor? May I have a word with you," Harry asked before he got to the door.

"Yes, you may," Doctor Okan said without his normal cheeriness.

"Something on your mind? You didn't seem all here," Harry said, turning his chair to face him.

"It's nothing...just stress," Okan replied coldly, forcing a wan smile.

Harry arched an eyebrow. "Ok...it just seems like more than that to me. You are almost the total opposite of what you were earlier this morning."

"I assure you, Commander, everything is fine." Okan politely replied.

Harry nodded. "Ok, I had to make sure. See you later."

Okan nodded and stepped out of the door.

* * *

Okan wandered through the Raptor's corridors back towards sickbay taking the ladder forward of the bridge as opposed to the turbo lift. Deck 2 was fairly busy at the moment, with various engineering personnel hurrying to and fro. He had finished his duties in sickbay, but he wanted to do something besides brooding.

Crewmembers would greet him as he passed, but he was so zoned out that he barely acknowledged them. He slowly made his way back towards sickbay. He retired to his small office that also served as his quarters and pulled up his letter. He furrowed his brow, examining it critically for a moment, turning the small pad in his fingers before deciding to continue. Perhaps it may distract him from the guilt he was feeling.

"As I write this," he began, "I am currently onboard the ship and we are in a constant state of alert. Do not worry, I am sure the problem will be resolved. Today has been fairly rough. The attacks have been almost constant since this early this morning. The crew is already starting to show signs of strain, as well as myself. I have been on my feet constantly for the last several hours treating the various injuries that one can suffer during starship combat. My staff has done a remarkable job, yet I lost a patient...somebody very special to me. It is the first time I've lost a patient, but more than that, someone I cared about deeply. I feel unusual, almost empty. The patient was severely injured and I tried my best to save them, but all my best efforts were not enough. I have run the scenario through my mind several times now and I still can't help thinking that I should have done something more. What kills me is this patient was a close friend of mine. Dealing with this is difficult at best."

He was snapped out of his concentration as once again the klaxons sounded.

"Red Alert! Red Alert! Captain to the Bridge at once!" A voice said over the com.

"For crying out loud!" Okan growled, frustratedly saving the letter. "Are they ever going to give us a break?"

* * *

Medical Officers Log Supplemental:

Two days have passed since the Urthean hit and run attacks began. The crew is becoming severely taxed by a lack of sleep. I am doing my best in distributing stimulants and vitamin shots. The shots are keeping them alert, but eventually they will stop having an effect. Except for Tactical officer Jakar, everyone is on a slow downward spiral. Tempers are getting short and there was a physical altercation in engineering between two crew members, one is missing a few teeth and the other is cooling off in the brig. I am afraid if these attacks don't let up the situation could get a lot worse.

* * *

He was rushing through the ship, he had a medical pack in his hand. Everything was hazy and distorted, there had been some kind of hull damage. He didn't know what, he had to get to deck four.

"Richard, help me please," he heard Breena say over his com badge.

"I'm on my way!" He shouted, sliding down a ladder, but as he arrived he glanced up at the deck marker and it still read Deck 3.

Confused, he climbed back onto the ladder and slid down another deck, again he was still on deck three. Cursing, he took off for another access tube, but as he continued he noticed he kept passing through the same corridor over and over again.

"Breena! I'm coming! I'll be there! Just hold on please!" He shouted, hitting his combadge, but only whimpering sounds and static came back.

"Damn damn damn!" He cried, charging down another way only to find a dead end. He spun around to go back only to find out that now he was encircled by the same wall on every side. He started pounding on the walls out of frustration and then he suddenly felt something grab his shoulder.

"Doctor?"

"Nnngh...."

"Doctor!" Twila's voice said as she shook him gently.

"Graaaagh! What...I just nodded off a second," Okan said, smacking his lips. "Are we off alert yet?"

"Not yet," Twila said. "You dozed off about an hour ago when you were working on the computer. I let you sleep."

"What? Why? What if there had been an..." He said groggily the nightmare still rolling in his mind.

"Shhh, we were able to handle it," Twila said, putting something that looked like breakfast in front of him. "I need you at least somewhat coherent."

Okan took a whiff of the food. "Twila...did I ever tell you that you are a real angel sometimes?" He yawned, wiping a little sleep out of his eyes.

Twila smiled. "Eat up, you are overdue. Then, if you feel like it, you can come out and help."

Okan reluctantly did as he was told and then replicated some coffee before going to check up on his patients. As he made his rounds, Commander Martinez entered the sickbay and waved him over.

"Yes, Commander?" Okan said curiously.

"I got some word from Starfleet, just a few minutes ago." Harry yawned. "They will be sending two Keldryian vessels. The problem is they won't get here for another three days."

Okan nodded. "And my attention is needed because?"

"Because...Doctor," Harry said, glaring a little at his interruption. "Because...if these attacks keep up and none of us can get any sleep we're all going to be a bunch of lunatics. I don't have to be a doctor to figure that out."

Okan nodded. "Understandable, but I can't provide for you anything more to help keep the crew awake. The only other thing I can do is sleep aides, but beyond that, I will not help."

Harry glared slightly, but kept himself in check. "I know...I was just wondering if you thought of anything else," Harry sighed, rubbing his head.

"Commander, have a seat on the biobed. I need to take your readings." Doctor Okan ordered.

"Sure." Harry staggered over to one biobeds and sat upon it.

He winced as the trilling of a tricorder filled his ears and Okan took out the smaller diagnostic unit.

"Commander," Okan noted, "your scans are indicating your deterioration is a little further along than anyone else. You are suffering from mental fatigue." Okan closed it. "Did you not sleep that well when this all started?"

"No, I didn't," Harry confessed. "I stayed up late...if I had known this was going to happen I would have gotten a rest."

"Hmm," Okan said as he looked at the readings. "You are also showing some signs of malnutrition. When was the last time you ate?"

"I don't remember," Harry grunted.

Okan suddenly saw something out of the corner of his vision. He could have sworn he saw Breena walk around the corner to his office...but was impossible he told himself.

"Doctor?" Harry asked groggily.

"Sorry, it's nothing...eat something if you can." Okan yawned, "and take a nap if you can work it in."

Jakar suddenly entered the sickbay, spotted Harry, and quickly came over. "I have the report you asked for, sir."

Harry nodded wearily and half-heartedly took the pad. "I can't remember what I wanted..."

"The phaser array took a bad hit last time around. You asked if the power could be shunted into the pulse cannons," Jakar said, trying to stay patient. "I have already made the proper adjustments."

"Oh yeah..." Harry nodded ,yawning, "that."

"You do not need to scan me. I am feeling fine," Jakar grumbled, hearing Okan's tricorder whine.

"You know for someone who's managed to stay awake for nearly two days you are in pretty good shape," Okan commented as he closed the tricorder.

"I assure you, Doctor, I am fine," Jakar said, raising a brow. "There are other methods of obtaining rest besides sleeping for eight hours."

"And if you were using most of them you'd be in big trouble," Okan said. "You check out. I just wish I knew how you do it."

Jakar ignored him. His interest was in talking to Harry instead. "The only problem is I fear they may burn out if Fara and her team can't get the primary strip back online."

"As long as we can," Harry sighed, "get by with that. Anything on sensors?" Harry mumbled, sliding off the biobed and wandering over to the replicator.

"Not yet sir," Jakar reported. "Considering we have only seen eight ships and we have managed to severely damage six of them it may be awhile before they try to attack again."

Harry nodded,downed some coffee and quickly devoured what appeared to be some sort of bagel. He wasn't even sure what he had ordered . "Any word from the fleet?"

"Ships are on their way," Jakar replied, "but still a few days out."

"Repairs?" Harry mumbled.

"We're back up to operational status," Jakar replied. "Aft shields are still compromised, but we'll have to make do. Ms. Phoenix says that unless we put back into space-dock they will probably stay down."

"We could dock, but the instant we do he'll attack again," Harry grunted. "We'll just have to hope the ablative armor holds up."

Jakar was scratching his head deep in thought.

"Do you have an idea?" Harry asked tiredly.

"I may have one," Jakar admitted.

"I hate to trouble you two, but I do insist that if the crew does not get some rest soon, we're going to be in a world of trouble," Okan said stubbornly.

"Doctor, we're very aware of the situation," Harry said patiently.

"It is an idea Fara suggested a long time ago, something that she was reluctant to try," Jakar said, still deep in thought. "Although it could be extremely dangerous...."

"What's that," Harry asked.

"The Raptor can function nearly autonomously with a minimal crew," Jakar replied. "Fara mentioned this in passing, but suggested getting it to relinquish control back to the crew may be a bit dangerous."

"How dangerous?" Harry asked with a glare.

"As in, it might assimilate us dangerous," Jakar grunted.

Harry didn't seem to be paying attention. In fact, he seemed to be staring at the blinking lights on the primary medical display across the room.

"Captain?" Jakar prompted.

"Oh...is that bad?" Harry yawned and scratched at his head fur.

"Yes sir," Jakar said, his patience wearing thin, "very bad."

"Ok...we'll just...have to deal with it when it gets here," Harry mumbled, his eyes remaining unfocused.

Jakar shot a look at Okan. "When what gets here?" He asked patiently.

"I don't...I don't..." Harry said, trying to concentrate when the klaxons began to sound again, "goddamn it..." he muttered.

"Captain," Jakar said.

Harry slapped himself hard across the muzzle a few times--hard enough he drew blood. His eyes were open and he seemed a bit more alert than he was.

"Got to get to the bridge," he declared.

"Captain are you sure--" Jakar began but Harry cut him off.

"Yes!" he snapped, stomping out of sickbay with a bit of a lean.

"Doctor, you have to come up with something,"Jakar said worriedly, "we can't keep this up for much longer."

Okan nodded. "I'll dig out the home remedies. There are some things I can try." Doctor Okan said warily. "But I'm not going to drug this crew up, the side effects could be disastrous."

"If you don't find something soon, the whole thing will be a disaster." Jakar hissed before rushing out of sickbay.

* * *

"How are repairs coming, D'jonn?" Xox asked coolly as he watched the squad of Urthean Scutta's advance towards the Raptor's position.

"We'll be fully operational within the hour," D'jonn reported. "Might I ask what exactly it is we are trying to accomplish here? Your strategy is working, but we can't keep this up forever."

"Ah, he asks me now!" Xox boomed. "After some thorough research, I have discovered that our little friends out there require at least so many hours of sleep over a few days." He chuckled to himself. "By constantly harassing them and not allowing the ship to dock, we will wear them down little by little until they will be easy to defeat." He stood up, clasped his gloved paws behind his back and started to pace. "And that glorious hour has come and passed. By my estimates, they should be feeling the effects of sleep deprivation now."

"Can't they use stimulants or drugs to get a rest?" D'jonn asked.

"They could, but we have increased the rapidity of our attacks so as to not give them that little break. We will press until we finally break them, and then oh yess..." he brought his hands back to his front and clenched his fists. "I will have that rodent once and for all!"

"What about the Keldryians? Surely they'll come to interfere," D'jonn added levelly.

"What of them? The Keldryians are spread so thin it will be days before they finally show up." Xox snickered. "Far too late for our little friends."

* * *

Okan was pacing the Raptor's hallways. He had to get out of sickbay. The attacks were still coming strong and he had to get a moment of peace to himself. The deck was quiet and the lights were flickering, undoubtedly from some damage somewhere along the power grid. The floor was dirty and plastic crunched under his boots as he moved. The stench of burnt ozone filled the corridor.

He suddenly heard a familiar but pleasant laugh. He stopped and looked behind him. The laugh was closer and he turned to see a blurred movement down the corridor. He started to move toward it and hesitated. That was Breena's laugh.

How could it be though?

He jogged towards the end of the corridor and saw nothing but more debris and an empty corridor.

"Richard...." He heard behind him and he turned around and found himself standing outside of the morgue.

"What is going on here?" He wondered aloud. Had he wandered down here on a mistake? He remembered he had something he had to do, but it had slipped his mind.

Against his better judgment he entered, the door parting for him. The lights snapped on, revealing the wall unit that contained the bodies of dead crew members. There was nothing else in the room. He did notice that one of the receptacles had been carelessly half-closed.

He walked over to the door and began to close it.

"Richard...." The voice said again.

He paused mid-motion when he heard his name again. Something grabbed his shoulder. He spun around and there in front of him was Breena, burned along with two other crew members who had died during the night.

"Why didn't you save us?" She hissed hollowly as though her voice were part of the void.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Okan screamed flailing at his attacker.

"Doctor! Snap out of it!" O'mara said, backhanding him as he flailed at her.

The blow snapped him back into his senses. "Ms. O'mara...where? How...."

"The Captain sent for you," The Avian said tiredly. "He wanted to see if I could help you with finding something to keep us up." She yawned.

"What happened," Okan demanded, "why am I here?"

"Y-y-you passed out on the way up." She said picking up his medical kit. "You were out cold. Are you okay Doctor? You were screaming when you woke up." She said concerned.

"I'm fine...just a nightmare...well," he sighed, noticing he had a handful of O'mara's feathers. "Sorry about that."

"Hey, I'd give anything to sleep like that...even if it was a nightmare," O'mara admitted, helping him to his feet.

"Where am I?" He asked.

"Deck 4, we were supposed to work on creating a naturally based stimulant for the crew," O'mara yawned.

"Yeah...I had the blood samples of each species...I remember now," Okan said, getting up to his feet.

"Un-huh. The Captain thinks with my mediocre grades in biology I'm going to be much help," O'mara sighed. The alert sounded again. "And if you don't remember...we have to ignore that."

Okan nodded. "Let's get to the lab."

O'mara nodded and headed down the corridor, bracing herself against the wall as a repulsor beam slammed into the ship's hull. As they walked toward the lab, they passed the morgue and Okan couldn't help but shudder. The memory of his dream was still fresh in his mind.

"This isn't the way to the lab?" He noted, confused and a bit wobbly.

"I know we took a hit in this section not that long ago," O'mara replied, "I had to quickly convert one of the small cargo bays."

"Oh," Okan mused. At least he knew now what had happened to Breena.

* * *

Jakar looked on in satisfaction as the Urthean Scutta retreated, venting plasma. Again, any damage inflicted was minimal, although the Raptor's shields were slowly dropping below the fifty percent mark.

"Mr. Rivas status report," Jakar asked.

"Nothing new that we don't already know," the wolf growled.

The engineering console started a chime.

"Would you get that please?" Jakar ordered, trying to coax a bit more out of the already tired shield generators.

"Get it yourself," Rivas snapped.

"Excuse me?" Jakar said, stopping his work.

"Who do you think you are anyway? You are just a lowly Lieutenant!" Rivas snarled. "I get tired of you bossing us around old man!"

"The Captain put me in charge, as he is obviously," he said, looking over at Harry, who was slumped in the command chair babbling something and struggling to try to keep his eyes open, "not capable of doing so himself at the moment."

"I don't care! I'm tired of having to listen to your shit," Rivas said.

"Mr. Rivas! You are suffering from the effects of sleep deprivation and you are not yourself at the moment. Now do as I ask, before I have to stop asking politely," Jakar said, glaring at him.

Don got up and slammed his palms on the top of Jakar's console. Jakar looked up at him and then stood up.

"And you will do what if I don't?" The wolf snarled.

The move was sudden and came out of nowhere. It ended with the sound of a fist connecting with a skull. Rivas was lying blissfully unconscious on the deck.

"Jakar!" Terri shouted scoldingly.

"Take his station, Ms. Lu," Jakar said, walking over and hefting the unconscious Lieutenant Commander off the ground and strapping him into a seat in the back.

Terri nodded and then walked over and nudged Land awake with a finger to the ribs.

"Come on Jack, wake up," she said calmly.

Land growled something unintelligible and stretched. "What did I miss?" He finally asked.

"Harry's out of it and Jakar decked Rivas." Terri said matter of factly.

"Ok..." Land said, smacking his chops.

"Hey, bridge," Fara's tired voice came over the speaker. "We've got a damn plasma leak and I don't know how long it's going to take to lock it down! It's nothing major though," she paused as if she forgot to say something, "oh yeah, no warp drive...."

"Understood." Jarkar replied.

"Jakar..." Fara asked, "how long has it been I thought we had reinforcements coming?"

"Possibly another 48 hours," Jakar said. "I would try to get some rest if you can."

"Easy for you to say," Fara said, closing the channel.

"Chief," Terri said, working the ops console. "We got an incoming transmission from Starbase 186."

"Put it on screen," Jakar said.

"Commander, I--what the hell?" Stiles said, seeing Harry staring at the screen blankly.

"Captain," Jakar said, stepping into view, "I have assumed command at the moment."

"What the hell is going on? We haven't heard from you in days." Stiles asked, very concerned.

"We're holding our current position because the Urthean's main target seems to be us," Jakar said warily. "Is there any response from Starfleet?"

"Yes, but by the looks of it, they're still far enough out it's not going to do you much good," Stiles said disappointed.

"Before Commander Martinez became incapacitated, he ordered Doctor Okan and Ms. O'mara to start working on developing a stimulant to help deal with the crew's fatigue." Jakar replied.

"How far along are they?"

"Unknown sir," Jakar said, helping Harry out of the command chair and setting him at the science station. "The crew is getting worn down. We're already down about thirty percent from people passing out from exhaustion and not reporting back from their quarters."

"Then get your asses back here right away," Stiles said. "We've got the station defenses mostly operational. We can hold up for a few days, even under a heavy attack."

Jakar sighed, more annoyed at the situation than anything. "We don't have Warp drive. It would take us too long to get back there on impulse."

"Chief," Terri said suddenly interrupting. "Urthean ships approaching and they are coming in hot."

"I'm sorry captain, this will have to wait," Jakar said returning to his station "Mr. Land! Wake up!" He barked at the top of his voice. The fox snapped his head back up from being slumped over the console and looked around in a daze.

Terri sounded the red alert.

"Engage the Attack Mode," Jakar said.

"Are you sure? In our current state...." Terri started to say.

"I'm well aware of that," Jakar said levelly. "I'm not in a mood to play any longer and our main defenses are worn down."

"Understood," Terri nodded, activating the attack mode and initiating the retractable armor around the ship's more sensitive areas. The lighting change and the overall hum of the mechanics of the ship reached a different pitch.

"If you can stay awake Mr. Land, prepare to attack, Jakar delta theta three," Jakar grunted leaning forward in the chair. "Let's make this as quick and dirty as possible."

* * *

"SHIT!" O'mara yelped as the equipment spilled all over the floor during one of the Raptor's rolls. "Oh no!" She wailed, seeing the mess.

Dr. Okan had somehow managed to catch the first synthesized batch before it hit the ground.

"It's ok Lieutenant, we need to test this," he said, taking the sample and loading it into a hypospray injector. He passed it to her. "Make sure it's set to 37 ccs."

"You think this little cocktail will w-w-work if we can make it for everyone?" O'mara yawned, doing as instructed, seemingly forgetting the toppled mess on the floor.

"It should. It will take some doing to adjust it for the other species on board though," He tapped the container of the hypo, watching it's contents swirl before putting it into the hypospray. "This one's for Termians, or echidnas, what have you..."

"What's in it?" O'mara asked.

"A base mixture of natural stimulants, electrolytes, and other things one tends to replenish with rest to give anyone a jump start," Doctor Okan said. "In theory, it should be safer than a stimulant, last longer, and have fewer side effects...I hope."

"H-h-how are you going to test it?"

"Ah, well that's simple," Okan said, "bottoms up!"

He injected it into his arm. O'mara watched him twitch and then he shook his head as if to clear it.

"Well?" She asked.

"Ok...I think that will be more than appropriate," Okan said brightly, hopping up and jogging in place. "Definitely awake!"

He took a moment and entered the formula in the synthesiser and adjusted it for Avian physiology. While waiting, he grabbed another hypo to place the concoction in when it was done. Soon the synthesiser signaled it was done. He grabbed the vial and put it in the hypospray.

"Your arm, please," Okan said to O'mara.

She rolled up her sleeve and presented her arm. Okan applied the hypo and grabbed a ticorder off the table to monitor her vitals.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"G-g-great!" O'mara responded.

"Good. I'm taking this a dose to the Captain," Okan said. "Now, just follow the procedure we came up with and whip a batch for Cornerian, D'novulan, Altarian and anyone else we still got on board. I'm heading for the bridge."

O'mara nodded as she said, "Don't fall asleep again!"

"I'll try not to," Okan said with a wry smile.

He stepped out into the corridor and leaned against the wall as the ship shook. He made his way towards the latter and the Raptor again performed a spin. This time it completely disoriented him and he fell on the deck, feeling nauseous. He stayed down on his hands and knees, his head still spinning from the G-Stabilizer lag.

The lights started flickering on and off and he realized he had dropped the hypospray. Still dizzy, he groped around for it in the dim light.

"You are never going to find it...you are going to let everyone else down as you did me." Breena's voice echoed from the darkness around him.

Okan's heart sank. Apparently waking up the body didn't do much for the mind when it was exhausted.

"Shut up! You are just a figment of my imagination," Okan said to the phantoms of his own mind.

"You'll never save them...you'll never save them...you'll never save them." The chanting voices started to speak up, swarming him.

Okan steeled himself against it.

"YOU ARE NOT REAL!" He screamed vehemently.

The taunting stopped. It was only in his sleep addled mind.

The Raptor was still in Attack Mode, but the corridor was a hell of a lot less creepy than it had been. He found the hypospray and started climbing up one of the ladders that ran between decks. In a few moments, he arrived on Deck 1 and held on for dear life through the next G-Stabilizer lag, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. This still resulted in him throwing up, but he charged onward.

As he stepped onto the bridge he spotted Harry, who was blissfully asleep, even with the shuddering of the deck and the pandemonium around him. He quickly tilted his head forward and injected him with the hypospray.

"Doctor? What are you doing?" Jakar asked.

"Gambling! What the hell does it look like?" Okan growled.

A few moments passed and suddenly Harry was wide awake.

"Captain?" Jakar asked as Harry got out of the chair.

"What did I miss?" Harry yawned and cracked his neck.

"More of the same," Jakar replied, "I had to engage the Attack Mode."

Okan removed his tricorder from its holster and scanned Harry. He frowned at the results. "Damn! It's not going to be permanent, but maybe we can get a couple of hours before a total crash."

"Understood, Doctor," Harry replied, quickly checking his displays.

"O'mara to Okan," O'mara said over the speaker. "I have the Cornerian batch fired up."

"Acknowledged," Okan said, offering it to Jakar who refused it. He then stumbled over and injected Terri with it. "Send it on up here."

The bridge shook under the last few volleys of repulsor blasts. The Raptor's phaser banks returned fire and the Scutta retreated once again.

The second hypo spray materialized in the bridge replicator and Okan administered it to the unconscious Land and then Rivas. Okan stopped however and noticed some bruising and swelling on Rivas' muzzle.

"What happened to him?" Okan asked.

"We disagreed," Jakar said, his face blank of any emotion..

After a moment or two, Don woke up and rubbed his face. "Ungh...what happened?"

"Worry about it later," Harry said, "station."

Rivas nodded, rubbing his sore muzzle and headed over to the Ops station, reliving Terri.

"So, since we've got a little time to spare we gotta come up with a plan," Harry said drumming his fingers on the armrest of his chair. "I think I have an idea. Jakar, do we got enough power to make a sensor ghost to make it look like we're all out for the count."

"Yes," Jakar said, "the adjustments wouldn't take too long."

"Good, then I suggest we get to work on giving buddy boy out there what he wants," Harry smirked.

"I've got other crew members to tend to," Okan said, hoping to make the most of his time before he crashed himself. "Do try to wrap up quickly. We are literally on borrowed time."

* * *

A bit later

Xox's ship slowly approached the Raptor, which seemed to be drifting. Xox was sitting in his chair with an evil smile on his face.

"It appears your plan has worked," D'jonn said looking up from his scans. "The ship is adrift and the crew seems out for the count."

"Ah excellent, prepare a boarding shuttle," Xox said, getting up and heading for the door to the bridge. "I want to take the ship myself!"

"Shouldn't we do a hard dock?" D'jonn asked.

"No, I don't want a raiding party tearing through that ship unsupervised," Xox snarled, "I want to take what I want and the others can have the rest."

"As you wish, " D'jonn said, following Xox out after signaling for some guards to follow him.

The boarding shuttle left the Urthean ship and landed on the upper part of the Raptor's hull. It magnetically clamped down and began using plasma torches to cut down into the hull and within a few moments, the cut hull plating crashed down into the interior of the Raptor's top deck.

Xox climbed down into the deck and drew a small disruptor pistol with D'jonn following behind him.

"This way! We'll take the bridge," Xox said, charging down the corridor. He found the door and quickly stepped through it with his men charging right in behind him. The bridge was dark and no sooner had the last Urthean crossed the threshold than a force field snapped up, ensnaring the lot of them as the lights came on.

"What treachery is this?" Xox snarled, enraged as he tried to force his way through the forcefield.

The lights revealed the bridge crew coming in through the forward doors, armed with phasers as well as several armed guards of their own.

"Mr. Jakar, if you will do the honors," Harry said.

"My pleasure," Jakar said, walking over to his station and activating the phasers.

Two crimson beams launched from the Raptor's forward phaser emitters and bored into the hull of Xox's ship. Several more launched from the upper side-mounted banks and tore into the engine modules. Xox had left the shields down on his vessel, thinking the Raptor was helpless. However, with no shields, the Urthean ship was crippled in a matter of seconds as the Raptor's weapons tore into the unprotected hull of the ships.

Xox stood in silent fury, seeing how easily he had been tricked.

"Now that that is out of the way," Harry said, keeping a phaser trained on Xox the entire time, "what to do with you?"

"You can't do anything to me," Xox hissed. "To take prisoners is not the way of you vermin."

"Normally you don't grant us that luxury by not knowing when to quit," Harry said. "But I can think of several very good reasons to take you prisoner. One big one would be piracy..."

"Destruction of Confederation property...." Jakar added.

"Not to mention the l-l-l-oss of our shipmates..." O'mara glared.

"Jakar, have this rabble hauled to the brig. Make sure you thoroughly search them." Harry ordered.

"You think you've won, rodent?!" Xox spat slamming his fists against the forcefield, his eyes glowing a bright red. "Then you have been sorely," he spoke as something appeared out of the right side of his arm, quickly forming what appeared to be a portable fusion cannon, "MISTAKEN!"

He shouted as the weapon primed and fired into the ceiling of the bridge. The blast tore through the upper part of the Raptor's ceiling. Being unprotected, the blast tore clear through the hull plating and Xox and his men were sucked out into space in the blink of an eye.

Harry cursed. "Get a transporter lock on them Jakar!"

"Working on it," Jakar replied, suddenly scowling. "Xox and one other have made it back to their docking shuttle using some sort of monofilament device. The other two have been abandoned."

"Try to get a lock on them," Harry said. "They may not have the cybernetic upgrades to survive an insane stunt like that."

The sound of the docking shuttle detaching from the Raptor's hull could be heard.

"I can't get a lock on the other two, I'm sorry sir," Jakar said. "They're dead." He suddenly switched his attention to an alarm. "The rest of Xox's ships are approaching our location. I suggest a retreat."

"Captain, I hate to say this, but do remember time is running out," Dr. Okan said, grimacing inwardly at the horror of the waste of life he had just witnessed. That was the closest he'd ever seen their advisory and the closest he was convinced he'd ever been to a monster.

Harry hit his combadge. "Fara please tell me you got those Warp Engines back online?"

"What do you take me for? A first year cadet? Of course they are," Fara spat back, sounding more like her normal harried self.

Harry glared and clenched his fists in frustration and then scowled at the hole in the ceiling of the bridge as an emergency hull-plate sealed the breach. "Mr. Land! Get us out of here now!"

The engines fired up and the ship jumped into warp and soon the stars were streaking past on the viewer. A sense of relief washed over the bridge as soon they would be back home.

"ETA to starbase 186?" Harry asked.

"Twenty minutes at maximum speed." Land responded. "I want to get somewhere safe before this stuff wears off."

"I think it's worth the stress on the ship," Harry said. "Just to be safe though, set autopilot, just in case."

Land nodded.

"Doctor, I suggest you get some sleep once the crew has been taken care of. I'll order as much of the crew I can to start getting some sleep."

"Much appreciated sir, I plan on it," Okan yawned.

* * *

A few days later

Chief Medical Officers Log:

We have been back at Starbase 186 for a few days now. To our relief, help finally arrived so the crew could get some much-needed rest. Xox's plans, whatever they may be, have been foiled for now. I am still dealing with some strange personal experiences from the lack of sleep. I am sure I am not the only one. I have seen to the rest of the crew and they seem to have recovered...nothing a good rest won't cure.

He finished his log not knowing what else to put into it and yawned. He still felt like he was quite a bit behind on his rest. He picked up the letter that was on the pad that he hadn't finished and set it back down again, not wanting to relate the last several days of experiences to home. He was still very deeply bothered about the nightmares he had been having and he still felt paranoid even though there was no cause to be.

He hoped that every time in the future, if he lost a patient, it wouldn't plague him like this. One was taught to maintain an air of detachment, but he wasn't a machine. It would probably happen again and now that he'd been so close to their tormenter, he knew that such a being was capable of very terrible things.

"Doctor?" Twila said, poking her head into his office.

"Yes, Nurse," he said gloomily.

"Are you feeling ok?" She asked concernedly.

"Not really," he moped, "but as the cliché goes, what doesn't kill you..."

He nudged the pad on his desk.

"What are you up to?" Twila asked.

"Oh," Okan said, glancing at the padd and setting it off to the side, "I was working on my bi-weekly letter home. Yet, with the events of late, I think I'll put it off till I have something better to write about."

"Do you want any company?" Twila asked.

"No...I have something I need to take care of," he said, picking up the padd again. "Maybe another time, ok?"

Twila nodded and smiled and wished him a good night.

As she left, Jakar rapped on the door to his office. "Hey, everyone else has gone home, why are you still here?"

"I'm not going to get hammered, if that's what you mean," Okan said, picking at the padd.

"No, but from the way you are sulking and hearing about what happened, that is one suggestion I may offer?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Dr. Okan groused.

"Lay off it man," Jakar grunted. "I know you had it pretty good with her and if you are going to hide in here, you won't get over it." He leaned against the chair in front of Okan's desk and glared. "I've lost a lot of women in my life and I won't bullshit you, it won't get easier. But if you sit in here and sulk life is just going to pass you by." He reached over and snatched the padd from Okan, hit the save button and shut it down. "Finish this later. Harry won't send us out for another day or two."

Okan glared at him disgusted.

"I suggest you come with me, have a few drinks...a few," he said holding up his paw, "and play some damn darts and the tables a bit. Then go home and write that thing."

"It's not going to make me feel any better..." Okan sighed.

"Yeah," Jakar admitted, "but it's better than not feeling anything at all so let's go, buddy."

Okan did go with him. All in all, he didn't feel better, but as the night passed, he talked about her in passing. He wasn't sure if Jakar was really listening or not, but just getting it out there seemed to help. They drank a toast to their fallen crewmember and Okan gave a small, but heartfelt toast. He did manage to beat Jakar--to the point of cursing and knocking over a chair--at darts. This caused him to get in a shouting match with Leeta, the bar's owner, which was always amusing, but as he laughed the pain lingered. The hurt of losing Breena was there, but maybe this was better than mourning her, in its way.

At least he could hope.

He never did finish his letter to his parents. After reading it in passing, it just wasn't something to write home about. When he got home, he did start a new, very lovely, letter to Breena's parents, expressing his deepest and most heartfelt sympathies. It took awhile for him to write this down, but he felt it may help them if they knew how much someone had cared for their daughter. When he was done, he felt a little better but the pain was still there.

It was very late as he stood, looking out of the angled windows of his quarters at the workbees and other late night traffic in the station. He had a small tumbler of whiskey in his hand--just something to help him sleep.

It would take some time, but this wound would heal

The End