The Day My Dad Died
I had some feelings to get out and thought this would help.
The day my dad died was a day I felt alone in the world. My mom died two years previous, and now, I only have my brother in our immediate family. Dragons are strong, brave, and majestic, but for this dragon, time stands still. The day that my dad died was a day when I should have been there for him, but, alas, I was in some faraway land made of metal, never hoping to live another day. In that place, hope does not exist. The future is bleak. My dad went peacefully in his sleep, and where was I? In the land of red rock, playing cards and sipping on some imitation juice. At least, I think it was juice.
In my mind's eye, I would imagine my dad leaving his body, probably a bit confused but otherwise prepared. Every time I visited him, he seemed to have the look of moving on to some other place. It was as if he knew it was time. I was grateful to see him one last time. I imagine him visiting me in my room, saying his final goodbyes to me before moving on to the other people still in his life. I would imagine grandpa meeting him on the other side, knowing him. I miss them both to this day.
I would imagine my dad crossing over the river, joining our family on the other side. They will be gathered by the river, catfishing and cooking up that southern meal that only southerners know how to cook. Lawn chairs will be gathered around a bonfire while people from the past greet my dad, saying, "Where have you been?"
I see my dad sitting by a mulberry tree, eating pecan pie, banana pudding, and some ice cream. He would tell them his stories and exchange heartfelt songs that would last into the night.
My dad died peacefully, and if there were a given way, I would like to go in my sleep. He will be remembered within the hearts and lives that he touched along the way, but for me, he will always be the man who became my father figure. The man that tried to teach a stubborn teenager a thing or two, even when I did not want to listen.
One day, it will be my time to cross the river and join my family. I miss my mom, I miss my dad, and I miss my family. Family was a word that did not have value to me until I lost the people I loved the most. Every day, I live my life in memory of their gift to me. The day my dad died was the day I finally broke.
Ever since, cleaning up the mess is a never-ending job. Since my parents died, I can no longer hold a job for more than six months because the stress is too great. I miss them terribly. I did not realize how much I needed them until they were gone. Now... I am alone.