FSE

Furry search engine

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Great. Just great. It's the end of the work week, my team's already wrapped their side of the clients' projects up, and we've got nothing else coming in. And by that logic, all that's left is for us to get treated like gofers the rest of the day. Can't frickin' believe I'd rather be glued to a computer screen all day than actually get some exercise while I'm here, but somehow, I'm bored to tears even worse from this. Take these designs to this team, let these other guys know the state of the accounts, oh and by the way can you go grab us some coffees since you're just OBVIOUSLY looking for any little thing to do??? At least people outside of my team would leave me alone while I have work. ...except Jill, but... heh, she's an exception and she knows it.

Still, it doesn't help that I'm doing all this stuff while worrying about the conspicuously-absent project manager. Hell, yesterday she looked like the walkin' dead... couldn't get anything out of her to save my life. I... guess I was able to be there for her at lunch, at the very least, but I wanna do so much more than that. Just like a few weeks ago, at her first Ladies' Night. Was hopin' I could take her out there again, maybe get a table for just us, Clover, and Jill, but now she's not even here. I've got no idea what's going on. Even the assistants I tried to chat up gave me nothing, they seemed reaaaaal hush-hush about the whole deal aside from the fact that she wouldn't be in trouble for this. No way that's a vacation day, she'd have to book one of those way in advance. I guess that leaves... a personal day? But those are usually for... f-for really rough times, to recover. So, whether or not that's true, Bone might be... she might be even worse off than yesterday, a-and I just- god, did the Valentine's Day plan go that badly? How am I supposed to deal with that? We tried so hard, and it all just came back to bite her anyway? What the hell...

...wait. Then where is she? Clover was gonna call me if anything happened, right? But if things went belly-up, I doubt she'd wanna spend the day in her house. So, just... what the hell's going on?! Ugh, maybe lunch'll take my mind off it. Break's finally here for me, anyways, even if all I've got's a plain ol' salad. Again. Ah well, the place makes a killer espresso, so it's just that easy to pick up somethin' for lunch while I'm there. ...aaaaaand the thing's too boring to milk any more details from than that. Great. Now all I can think about is where the hell Bone went. A hotel or somethin'? No way she's left the city. Guess my best bet is to just head to her place and check with her hubby, but what would I do when I find her, anyways?

...no, that's a stupid question and you know it, ya dumb bun. You'd give her a shoulder to cry on if she needs it. Hold her tight. Tell her everything's gonna be okay. Maybe even cover another night wherever she's staying, if she's not ready to go. Do everything you couldn't that night at the bar. Bone deserves the world and someone to give it to her. If that's gonna be me, when her hubby won't? I'll take that. Been that way since we first met, when I was just a stupid kid who forgot her lunch at home. No one to sit with, and no allowance to splurge for something in the cafeteria. The old fart wouldn't trust me with a goddamn cent. And then, when I'm just huddled in a corner of the outside eating area, doin' my best not to think about how much my belly ached, this curious little Eurasier dog just wanders over, asks how I'm doin', then gives me half her sandwich. I still remember that thing. Cucumber, some red onion, honey mustard, cheddar, who knows what else, that thing was LOADED. Made it herself, too. Couldn't believe what was happening to me, she even sat with me afterward just to talk and make sure I was fine. So of course I wound up returning the favor when some girls with more hot air than spine walked up and tried to lay into her for who-knows-what, mighta been some guy they thought they had a right to. She didn't know a damn thing about it, anyway, so she just kinda sat there and took it. Luckily, that lack of spine made itself useful when I told 'em to get lost or I'd yank the rings right outta their ears. Heh, like I'd go through with that, just thinkin' about what kinda mark that'd leave was nauseating. Some more talking later, her finding me the next couple days at lunch and introducing herself as Bonnie, a bit of nicknaming later, and suddenly, I've got Bone by my side for the rest of primary school. Good times, those were. Precious ones. Could never forget 'em. ...can't say they're regret-free, but hey, we take what we've got and hold on tight. That's how you got by in my house. Don't let go, but don't risk it on a gamble. Never...

...m-my phone? Bone...? No, Clover. Wait, waitwaitwait, that's just as good, she NEVER calls on my break! She might know something!

"Ey, Clover! Things alright there?"

"Oh, they're going better than I could've imagined, Ky. Work treating you alright?"

"Eh, it's a livin', but I've mostly just worried about Bone all day. All I can gather is she probably took a personal day, and that's... not exactly comforting, ya get me?"

"Ah... y-yeah. That's... kinda what I called about." Knew it! ...wait, but if it's about Bone, what'd she mean by things going great?

"Wait, so... Bone's there? Is she fine? She was completely out of it yesterday, almost the worst I've seen her. Couldn't get a thing outta her, either, so I don't got a clue what it was all about."

"Okay, first off, yes, she's here. Second off, she's doing way better than yesterday. Needed the extra day though, and I can see why. I'd like to wring the neck of that husband of hers, but it sounded like she already did that this morning over the phone." ...o-oh god. It really was Valentine's, huh. Dammit... why couldn't I do anything, AGAIN?!

"Y... you're serious, Clover? Ah geez... still, you said she was doin' better, right? Whaddaya make of their chances?"

"Yeaaaaaah, uh. No. Especially not after what happened this morning. I'm pretty damn sure that's over, Ky, bittersweet as it is." Bittersweet?? They had what sounds like the fight of their lives, and that's bittersweet?!

"...Clover. What happened? Gimme everything you got, 'cause I'll tell ya right now, I'm not makin' heads or tails of how you're taking this news."

"Okay, you know what? Fair point. Context is key here. And that's why I want you to come over and see us tonight, after work. Yes, I know it'll cut into your time with Jill and the others, but this is PRETTY IMPORTANT."

"Oh I'm damn sure it is, Clover, so if you don't give me SOMETHING to work with here, I'm marching outta work right NOW to come over there and figure out what the hell you did, you hear me?"

"...gah, fine, but you'd get more out of asking Bonnie that question. I didn't do much, besides comfort her. I can give you one of the more important details now, but promise you won't freak out?" Oh, now that's just a GREAT sign, ain't it?!

"Fine! What happened?!"

"Okay, so, she got here, she was a wreck, I managed to calm her down, we watched our show, normal so far. Then, t-things, uh... happened. And she s-slept in my bed." ...what. The hell.

"...you don't mean alone, do you."

"Ky, I swear to you this'll all make more sense when you're here. You think I'd just forget what I promised? I was freaking out internally during most of that, I full well knew what I was getting into."

"Then tell me, WHY did it get that far?!"

"I dunno, ask Bonnie! She's right here, waiting for you to show up so we can go over this whole thing, you know. Just please... promise you'll be here after work." I can't believe this. I can't frickin' believe this, after everything I laid out. Clover just couldn't keep her hands off her, huh? Well, I'll see what she has to say. I'll hear it loud and clear, after work.

"Fine. You better be ready, Clover. 'Cause lemme tell ya, right now? I'm just about losing it. These'd better be some good answers, kitty."

"They should be, Ky. See you then?"

"...yeah. Seeya then." I... I just- god, what the HELL, Clover? But... Bone's doing great, she said...? Does that mean s-she's... GOD, I don't know anymore! Guess I'll just... try to get unwound by doing the gofer work. Get it outta my system. I'm in no mood to do anything but yell, and that's... probably gonna go poorly, especially if Bone's somehow on board with all this. I need to calm down at least a little before getting there...

* *

Gah, FINALLY work's over. 'Course, that means I need to dodge through the crowd if I'm gonna get outta here; I know I normally lead our little excursions to the pub, but someone else can take up that mantle, Bone's more important. Just gotta duck around 'em... dodge the questions, keep your head down... almost...!

"Kylie? Are y-you... okay?" ...dammit. Like there's any way I could just ignore her. I turn around, hesitant, and I'm met with Jill, practically quivering with worry while she looks at me with those golden, sparkling eyes. Can't blame her, I... I don't normally storm off like this on Ladies' Night. And I've been in quite the goddamn mood all day.

"Yeah, yeah, I just... look, I gotta go. I've got no time for this tonight, I got a call on my break. Found out where Bone is, I need to talk to her."

"Miss Bonnie? So you... you know what happened to her? Is she okay, Kylie?" Aww. Nice to see Bone's made such a good impression on her. I'd take her along, but... I'd rather she didn't see this if I lose my temper. I take a step forward, clasping her hand in both of mine.

"More than okay, from what I know. The whole situation's just... so damn weird, though, so I need to go figure all this out. I'm not gonna be able to go with you tonight, ya shinin' star. That shouldn't stop you from having a good time, though, 'kay?" Of course, despite my efforts to keep her calm, that stoic little glint in her eyes is back... can't say I'll complain about it, though, that's preceded some of her more daring moves after dark, heh.

"N-No, Kylie. I understand that I... probably can't follow you, but I won't go get stuck in a pub with everyone while you're off doing this. Because... because if what I've seen from you today is any indicator, y-you'll... you might need someone afterwards." With that said, she takes her other hand and puts it on top of mine, rubbing gently, even pulling me a bit closer. Some of the other ladies are gawking and gossiping now, and I can see Charlotte get this utterly satisfied look on her face seein' Jill like this, but... the only two people that matter to me right now are Jill, right here in front of me, and the gal I'm gonna get the testimony of once I'm out the door.

"Jill, I..."

"I won't l-leave you on your own like that, Kylie. So please, whenever you're done... call me. No matter how it went. I'll be ready." At that, she leans forward for a quick little kiss, like she's sealing a contract with it. I can feel my face flush, and the heat gets even higher when I hear the enthusiastic oohs and ahhs from our little audience, but even still, every word of that reassurance is appreciated.

"Heheh... aw, thanks, Jill. I'll give ya that call, you'll see. You'll hear exactly how it went, too!"

"I'm sure of it. Now, get going!" At last, I turn on my heel, running to the open elevator. I can feel a few stares from people who saw all that, but it hardly matters. Now all I gotta do is get to Clover's place, and I'll finally figure out just what the heck Bone's doin' there.

The bus ride goes faster than I thought, just daydreaming of my shinin' star. The promise of talking with her, sorting out any baggage that comes up from this... it all keeps me in a way healthier mindset than constantly wondering what Clover did to get Bone in her bed. So just... stay calm, Kylie. They'll explain. It's probably nothin'. Clover seemed so sure this would make a lot more sense when they could explain it all, anyway, it really might be nothin'. It's all gonna be fine.

Letting those self-assurances play over and over in my head, I barely realize when I've reached Clover's front door. This is it, then... judgment day. I let the doorbell announce my arrival, and I can just about hear some swift, heavy footsteps on their way to greet me... and the door swings open, revealing that cardigan-layered outfit I remember from yesterday's office work. A favorite of hers.

"Oh, Kylie? You're here!" Before I know it, Bone's leaned down a bit and caught me in a hug. To be honest, it's hard to breathe like this, but I'd never stop her from being so affectionate. Not for the world.

"Heh, yeah, yeah, I made it. Gotta hear what Clover has to say about all this, after all. I got no idea what's goin' on, Bone." Soon enough, I'm released, and Bone gets a wide smile on her face, clasping her hands together while her tail goes a mile a minute.

"Oh, it's all amazing, Kylie, just wait until you hear! But first, I'd bet you're getting hungry, and we DID order something for tonight... how about it?"

"Well, hot damn. Dinner, AND two of my favorite people, all in the same place? I'd say to pinch me, Bone, but I don't wanna wake up!" That does it, those sweet little giggles from her. I'll never forget them, not since the first day they graced my ears. I begin tailing behind her, that cute enthusiasm makin' its way to the dining room. Clover's right there, plates at the ready, with a pizza box holding our prize for the evening. ...I'll have words for her, but they can wait. It smells great!

"Oh, hey Ky! Managed to keep Jill from dragging you into the supply closet today, hmmm?"

"C-Clover, the heck?!" ...god, I'm easy. Clover gets exactly what she wants, every single time she brings that stuff up. I turn red from blushing, she turns red from choking on her own laughter. ...what she wants, huh. Hmph. N-Not now, Kylie, keep it together...

"Alright, alright, I'll ease up on you, charmer. Now, you should probably dig in before it's gone. Bone didn't have much this morning, the both of us played it safe since I'm not exactly stocked for two right now."

"...for two, huh. Guessin' that's one of the revelations you'll have for me when we're good 'n full?" Well, guess I couldn't quite stop myself from giving Clover a bit of a side-eye. She realized what she said, too, she shut her trap real quick after that one. Before it can get any worse, though, I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders. ...a-ah.

"Well yes, Kylie, but... like you said, we're better off having that talk afterwards. So please, enjoy yourself, okay? A moment's reprieve from whatever's eating at you about this, complete with stuffed crust!" Say what, now? Oooh, this I gotta see! I wind up just about tossing the top of the box across the room, only prevented by the cardboard hanging on for dear life. The smell hits me quick, that heavy whiff of cheese with a pinch of all sortsa veggies; peppers, mushrooms, onions, they even got green olives here! ...heh, wonder if they planned this a bit for me. Always was a sucker for that briny kick the green ones had.

"Y'know what, yeah, I can call that off for a while yet. A little bribery'll go a long way, you two!" Well, at least they look relieved. Nothin' between us for now but a shared pizza box. If only it could stay like that later.

For a little while, it seems like I could just forget it all. Forget what brought me here, what I was just getting miffed about not even a few minutes ago. Just letting that savory taste of veggies and gooey cheese dance over my tongue, listening to us all catching up on work, our hobbies, even a light bit of teasing. ...though, as we near the end of our meal, I've started to notice that this whole time, whenever Clover and Bone get on a topic they're both familiar with, it's like what's on their mind bounces back and forth faster than the most precise, fast-paced ping-pong rallies I've ever seen. After noticing it, I can't help but be all the more aware of it as dinner wraps up, with two remaining slices reserved for the host- or hosts, if Clover was serious earlier- as leftovers. Sure enough, the big talk I came here for is fast approaching. I guess... it's time to get this over with.

"So, ah... Clover. Dinner aside, and it was to die for, what exactly... happened? 'Cause frankly, I'm not really sure what went on here last night, even if you've given me a bit of a hint. One you oughta be careful with how you handle it going forward, you get me?" Still looks a bit awkward, but I can see her thinking this through behind those eyes. Well, at least Clover's taking this seriously. She'll damn well have to.

"Alright, Ky. I'll give you what I know; it's quite a lot, but I know it by heart at this point." Strangely enough, she nods to Bone after declaring that. Bone even nods back, looking a little worried, but hopeful. I guess I know who'll be doin' the heavy lifting here, though I suppose it fits; Clover's the one I'm questioning the most here.

"Okay... okay. So. I was here, just relaxing after getting work done early for once in my life. In the middle of all that, I suddenly heard my doorbell and some heavy knocking. I got up, went to check as they kept hammering the doorbell, and... it was Bonnie. Came running here in the pouring rain without an umbrella. I got her dried off, wrapped in blankets, started working on tea for her, and went to figure out what the problem was. She was unresponsive at first, but after crying it out, I learned that she and Penn, well... I'm not sure whether I'd call it a FIGHT, but it got ugly, regardless. Partly from the aftermath of Valentine's, too. So she ran here."

"W-Wait, what?! Bone, you c-could've... I was there at work, you coulda told me something..." That usually-eager tail has taken a dip downwards, matching her drooping expression.

"Well, Ky, I... I don't know. Whenever this kind of mood strikes me, I just... you know, clam up. You saw it before my first Ladies' Night, and yesterday, it was worse than ever. I felt worthless. Like everything was my fault, that I'd brought it all on myself. I know better now, but... mmph." I catch a glimpse of her reaching her hand forward, across the table, looking right at Clover. The kitty looks between Bone, her hand, and me for a bit, and then... reaches her own hand forward, clasping 'em together tight. God, I just... how much happened here last night? It just can't be what it feels like, no way. So why can I feel my breathing getting faster...?

"It's okay, Bonnie. I can pick it up from there. So, Ky, I spent a while comforting her, reassuring her of her choice to come here. I'll tell you right now, Ky, what Penn told her wasn't okay. Even if it was... probably kinda my fault, whether I knew it or not."

"...'Scuse me, Clover?"

"...oh god, Ky, wait, lemme at least explain that. You see that little box over on the side table, near the couch?" I turn my head from starin' her down to check where she directed me. Sure enough, there's a little red gift box there. Cute one, too.

"Okay, what about it?"

"So... Bonnie was gonna bring that to me yesterday. She'd been in that funk all day, like you saw, but she... she brightened up at the thought of bringing me some caramels from the final batch, leftover ones that didn't fit in her little display she made for Penn. Penn noticed, he asked her about it, and- Bonnie, PLEASE stop me if I get something wrong, but- she kinda started... rambling happily. About how she felt over here. Special. Valued. Things like that. And he just... hmph, he asked her if HE didn't make her feel that way. I'm still pissed about that one." Wait, so Bone already felt those kinda things BEFORE running here? W-Wait, then... then is she really...?

"Clover, I just... I'm not getting it. You're sayin' this is kinda your fault, but then you're goin' on about how Bone felt all that, she ran here, things happened, a-and- Clover, what'd you do?!" The kitty looks smaller than ever, shrinkin' back into her seat while her ears fold down to the sides. Oh, that's not gonna do. It won't do at all.

"Clover. WHAT. Did you do?"

"I-I... I just got a bit-"

"Kylie, it was me." With the last voice I expected on this matter chiming in, I feel my eyes go wide and my ears shoot up. I try to slowly turn to her, dreading what she's about to tell me. B-Bone, you...

"Bonnie, no, I could've stopped that any time, it was-"

"No, Clover, we both agreed before this. I'm not letting you take the fall here, especially not when I've got the biggest share of the blame." She turns back to me, a bit of determination breaking through the nerves.

"She comforted me, but she didn't make a move. I did. I felt... safe. Loved, even. So in the middle of our show, I... laid down on her lap. Kylie, she couldn't even bring herself to touch me when I did that, she KNEW what she'd promised, even if I didn't, and she stuck to it. After that, when she tried to get me set up to sleep there, I-I... I begged her to stay. That got me invited to her room, since, well, the couch isn't comfy for two, and then I pushed my luck even further by settling into her bed with the covers raised while she was probably looking for something I could sleep on. Kylie, I made EVERY push, took every little step over the line, all while I still had my ring on. No matter what you expected, Clover's not at fault for how far it went. If anyone's done something they can't take back... i-it's me."

"W... Wha...?" I check in a panic, and sure enough, there's no little purple jewel on her finger. It's gone, like it was never there. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I- I was SURE Clover had gone back on her promise, I thought Bone coulda been happy with Penn, or failin' that, m-maybe...

"Bone, what're you- so, you and Clover, you're..." No. No no no, if there had to be a falling out, then... why... why already...!?

"We talked about it this morning, Kylie, yes." As an awful feeling announces itself in the pit of my stomach, I watch Bone get up, walk around the table to Clover, and lay her hands on her shoulders while Clover blushes harder than I've ever seen, turning redder than when she chokes laughing. I-I... no, this...!

"We're dating, Kylie. Penn and I called this morning, and that went even more poorly than last night. So I asked Clover if she'd be willing to be with me, and... I'm going to go get some of my things tomorrow. I'm staying here, with her. Even through the tedium and turmoil of dealing with the fallout of all this sudden change, I feel... satisfied. Like I'm happier than I've ever been. ...and I have her to thank for that." S-She's... leanin' down, hugging Clover around her shoulders. Even got a little mewl out of her, which got her to quickly cover her mouth after letting it loose, almost painting her cream-coloured fur an even brighter shade of red. ...that's that, then. Heh.

"Well, I, uh... that sure is a bit open and shut, huh, Bone? Guess I should... leave you to it. Let the both of ya settle in."

"...huh? Kylie, you don't have to go, we just got done clearing the air, you can still-"

"N-No, I just... I need a while. I'm glad for ya. You too, Clover. I just d-don't- I can't explain it, but this ain't processing quick for me, I need time, j-just a bit, I need... time..." God, no, my breathing's runnin' wild...! Bone even looks worried at this point, I-I need to-

"Kylie? Are... are you okay?"

"Great! J-Just... I'm sorry, I really gotta go, I-I need to think about all this, places to go, gotta call Jill, all that! So just..." My feet have already lifted me out of my seat and carried me most of the way to the door before I can even think. Good to know they have my back, but... I hope this isn't spooking the happy couple.

"Kylie...?"

"Just have a good night, 'kay? I wish you the best, both of ya." And like that, I'm on pace to reach speeds rivalin' the fastest track rabbits in their prime. It ain't gonna make a difference to the buses, but I can't be here anymore. I just can't... Just... need to hold it together 'til I'm home. Home free. No one to find me, a game of hide-and-seek, all alone.

Finally across the city, I run up the stairs two at a time, then slam the door behind me. Home again... and the perfect hiding place for what comes next.

"Hnn... B-Bone, I... *hic*" Dammit... dammit, dammit, DAMMIT! I couldn't even stay there, just to help her settle in, without risking this... I can't let her see me like this. Not when she's so happy. She's happy. That's the important bit. She doesn't need to see her little tagalong losin' her shit, bawling her eyes out over stupid, stupid matters she gave up on a while ago. ...heh, like I could ever get that feeling in check, make it finally go away. It wasn't gonna work. I even got myself hurt makin' sure of that, so just... why, goddammit?! Why does it still have to hurt like hell?!

Wait, I- ...Jill. She's still waiting for her call. Always would be. My cute little guiding star... let's see what you've got for me when I feel more lost than a kid trying to make heads or tails of the city subway maps. ...and of course, she picks up almost instantly.

"Kylie? How'd it go?"

"J-Jill, Iiiii... It was-"

"K-Kylie?! Are you... are you crying? What happened? Is Miss Bonnie okay?!"

"Oh, s-she's fine... her and Clover. They're... they're g-goin' out now. They're fine. T-They're fiiiine..."

"...ah. I'm... glad to her she's okay, Kylie, but... are you?" J-Jill, I... you can tell what's wrong, so why are you being so... so nice?

"W-Wha..."

"I said, are you okay, Kylie? Whatever the issue is, it sounds like their arrangement is rough on you. I know it. So please... if you can't t-tell me now, then... I'm coming over tomorrow. We'll go somewhere nice, or even stay in if you don't want to leave your place."

"Jill, I-I just... the landlady, she'll-"

"She'll shut up and deal with the fact that her tenant has a visitor, Kylie. I'll be gone before nightfall, regardless, so she can't back her complaints up with anything. And if you still need me? You know exactly where I'll be. Where you're always welcome, my blushing bun..." God, she... I don't deserve her. I don't deserve anyone, but here she is, just... doing her all to make everything better. Something to look for in the darkest night.

"Yeah... yeah. Th-thank you, Jill... thank you so much...!"

"It's only natural, hehee... but you're welcome. I'll see you tomorrow, Kylie."

"Y-Yeah... seeya then, ya little star." And with that, I suddenly don't feel so alone. Gonna need to hunker down 'til tomorrow, and today... today still stings. ...well, if my phone's already in hand, I guess I can maybe look down memory lane. Maybe remember some better days.

Flopping onto my bed, I pull up the oldest picture: me and Bone, barely pushin' 15, on our first day of high school. The old man finally decided that being able to get ahold of me whenever was worth dealing with his daughter having some actual freedom, as bad a taste as that left in his mouth, I'm sure. So I got my first cell phone just before freshman year... a simple little thing, just flipped up and down, but I've been able to keep the photos passed across all my phones over the years, by some miracle. Even got 'em backed up on a flash drive in my nightstand drawer, in case the worst happens. Never let go of whatcha got... and I sure as hell didn't back then, making sure Bone was doing the best she ever was, no matter what we went through.

After a couple more pleasant photos- some marchin' band events of hers, academic achievement letters of mine, and days of hanging out- I reach one from early in senior year. Me, Bone... and her new boyfriend at the time. David. He made her feel like she was walkin' on air, treating her nice, even some... other things, that made Bone blush just admitting to me. Her first. 'Course, I remember this all too vividly... that sweet little couple didn't last at all.

I flip to the very next photo, and of course, it's the two of us, no David in sight, just enjoying some milkshakes at the local ice cream parlor. Her eyes are all red, but at least she's smiling wide, holding me close in our booth for the photo... still can't believe that douchebag. Just... dumps her and moves on the moment one of the cheerleaders from his team shows a bit of interest in him. ...a LOT of interest, even, but still. The hell was he thinkin'? ...no, I remember what went through his head. I remember it like yesterday.

Knowing that, I flip to the final photo I wanna look at tonight. Seeing it again, I feel my throat catch and my eyes getting ready to run the waterworks all over again. Just another picture of Bone and I at the ice cream parlor, this time at the counter seats. But this one... I couldn't forget what led to this one if I wanted to.

Even while I was keeping Bone calm the day before at the parlor, every part of me was seething. It was everything my head could handle just to split its focus between making Bone happy again and processing the utter, unbridled rage that pumped itself through my veins. The next day, I snuck my lunch before the break, then marched off to find that prick, right where he would sit with his like-minded herd of jocks every day before he dated Bone. No eye-candy hangin' off his arm, though. Guess she was a casual thing. Made it sting even worse, what he'd done.

"'EY! Just whaddaya think you did, huh?!" That got his attention. That brainless coyote and his friends all looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was.

"And... who the hell are you? ...ohhhh, wait, is this about the bitch from marching band?"

"The HELL did you just call her?!"

"Hey, hey, it's a proper term, ain't it? Heh... whatever. The heck do you want, playing card? I'm done with her. Made that pretty clear." All that nonchalant attitude, and after he treated her like a queen, played nice, took what he wanted from her... and crushed her little heart. None of that attitude was gonna help him from what would come next, but I guess he figured he had nothin' to fear from a dumb, puny bun.

"...wow. You didn't even think once about what you just threw away, let alone twice, huh? Guess that's par for the course with jocks like you, pup."

"The hell did you- a-and why the hell would I? She was a bore, took forever just to get as far as we did, and then Jess comes along and practically opens with that? Why wouldn't I?"

"Yup, not a single thought runnin' through that head of yours that'd make you worth the air you breathe. But don't worry. I'm pretty sure I can getcha to think twice about all this. Maybe even three or four times..." Feeling my legs move beneath me, my arms shot out, grabbed him by the collar, and with strength I barely knew I had, pulled him past me and threw him towards the lockers across from their lunch spot in the hallway, closing the distance just after.

"G-GAH! What the..."

"...you GODDAMN DUMBASS!!" Keeping him with his back to the wall, I let the first fist fly straight for his jaw. It connected hard, dazing him where he stood. All the better to throw the other fist right to his stomach, the moment after he stopped bracing. A few more to the head and jaw, even knockin' a tooth loose at some point, and I'm starting to feel my knuckles tear. The pain, though... I was practically numb to it. I knew it was there, I just... nothing would stop me. As I heard someone scramble to their feet behind us and try to get closer, I swung wide and high behind me, not landing quite as solid of a hit across the wolf's jaw, but enough to make him stumble back and reconsider his bravado.

"STAY OUTTA THIS! ALL OF YOU!!" I heard more footsteps after that, but they headed away from us. Went to get teachers or somethin', pretty sure. Ah well. That just convinced me to go all-out with what time I had. One to the right eye. Another to his nose. Even threw a headbutt in at some point I'd regret later. More punches still to those teeth that gave Bone that handsome smile he always showed her, convincing her of his devotion. I felt determined to make it show how he really acted. Spotty. Gaps in his story. Shattered into goddamn pieces. I worked at it so feverishly, so single-mindedly, that by the time I heard heavier footsteps coming from afar, I'd scattered at least four teeth over the floor, let alone what'd become of the rest of his face after it finished bruising up later. My knuckles were torn to shreds from the collisions with the rows of sharp, pointy teeth, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but him, even as I screamed bloody murder while two of the teachers dragged me off of him and another started taking their charge to the nurse's office.

Everything after that was a blur. I remember getting chewed out a bit by the principal, unresponsive the whole time. Got sent to the counselor, too. By then they had someone they could spare from the nurse's office patchin' up my hands. Still barely said anything to 'em. Gave 'em the reason I'd beat him black, blue, and red. That was about it. No introspection, no will to vent, no nothin'. Just got my old man called to the school to take me home for suspension. Don't remember how long it lasted. Don't care. He yelled the whole way home and a while after. Didn't matter. Nothing he ever said mattered. Mom wasn't much better, just stickin' to the corner of the room, quietly watching him tear into her daughter like there was nothing she could do. Her little ol' status quo, I assumed. I finally got let back to my room, where I figured I'd probably be staying the whole time. Might as well, even with barely anything lining my shelves besides textbooks, achievement letters, and notebooks. Nowhere else to go in that house. And then, I finally noticed Bone had texted me. Worried about where I was. It... felt nice. Amazing, even. I texted her back, explaining I'd been suspended, and to come meet me at my bedroom window.

When she got there, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I could see her again, show her the souvenirs I got defending her honor, even talk like old times. She was just worried about me the whole time, of course, even tenderly checked my forehead when she noticed the bruise peeking out under the matted fur. I did like that I'd done something to make that punk remember what kind of mistake he'd made, but even then, I... I felt scared. Scared I could do what I'd done again, of where that power had come from, and of if I'd... made Bone feel unsafe around me. Made myself look like a stupid delinquent, despite my grades and honors. Made her reconsider whether she should even have me around. That all melted into an emotional mess when she was being so careful, so thorough, so sweet, all to make sure I hadn't gotten hurt anywhere else. I just... completely broke down. Dove into her arms, without any control over my tears.

I don't know how long we stayed like that. Musta been a while, because I heard a knock on my door, and before I could think, my mom had walked in with a plate of food from dinner. She didn't say anything, looking at her daughter just cryin' like a baby in some other girl's arms, but she looked dumbfounded. Maybe a bit hurt at the state I was in. I didn't care what she was thinking. She never did anything to stop that man when he got going. Bone looked a bit worried as she held me closer, begging with her eyes for my mom to stay quiet, but me? All I could do was glare at her. Show her exactly what I thought of it all. All she did in response was look away from me, let her gaze drop, and set the plate on my dresser.

After I'd eaten the whole thing at Bone's insistence, she came up with another idea. After it got darker and we were pretty sure no one would come check my room, we snuck out and headed back to the parlor, just like yesterday. Got sundaes this time. And to commemorate the occasion, I decided to take one more picture of us there. The picture I'm staring at now. My hands were still freshly-bandaged. I hadn't warned Bone in advance of my idea for a picture, but it was a nice candid shot anyway. One that stuck in my mind from then on. As if I weren't already sure I wanted to give my everything to making her happy, I looked at that picture more closely when she took me back home and headed off for the night. I wore an awkward little smile, my own eyes being the red ones this time, but her?

Her eyes were locked onto my free hand, which was resting on the counter. Staring right at the bandages. Even then, in our time to relax and forget it all, she kept thinking of me. Of what I'd done, how I was hurting, and maybe even how far I'd gone to give her some catharsis. Bone, always, ALWAYS, just... sweeter than sugar. Sweeter than anyone. Even sweeter than anything we could've ordered at the parlor.

I... I know I gave up. Got scared of how to handle it all. College would've meant a new living arrangement, finally away from my parents. But if we wound up goin' to the same place... there wasn't a doubt in my mind she'd look for any possibility of being roommates. And I wouldn't be able to say no to her. I wouldn't dream of it. What I couldn't dream of even more, though, was having to address everything I was thinking of her. Of being that close, at all times. Of what would happen if I screwed that up. So instead, I... made my choice. Do I regret it? I dunno. It hurts so often, I feel like I should, but all I know from that house... all I'd ever known, was to latch on to what I had, and never risk pushing it. It's all I could bring myself to do. And a little after college, when we'd moved around and not really thought about where we'd gone, she met her future hubby. Penn. That also stung, but she was so happy, nothin' else mattered. Just seeing that smile on her face, even through photos... it was everything I wanted and more. So if the person to give it to her was gonna be someone else, that would just have to sit right by me.

And then... all this happened. We reconnected by mere chance. I got to see her again, in-person, every day of the week. Even meet the lucky guy. I was in her life again. And every once in a while, when things got to a certain kind of mood, it would ache again, just a bit. An old wound left festering, never treated. Just kept running that phrase through my head, "She's so happy now," as a bit of temporary ointment to the situation. It was all that mattered. It HAD to be all that mattered. Not like I could do anything anymore, even if I had the balls for it. Of course, then Bone fell into her funk. I couldn't get anything out of her on that besides bare basics, which finally led up to Ladies' Night. Then, she met Clover, and... all I could do was spectate. No place for someone to stay overnight, so she went to Clover's. No way for me to break the ice easily on all that emotional stuff and make plans to help, so where'd she go? Clover's. And finally, when everything reached its peak, when she needed a shoulder to cry on and a place to stay, who had she bonded to for the last month? ...Clover.

The last time I ever did something impactful for her that I could say was all me had been that horrible, horrible day, with the silver lining of her embrace. And now, in the fraction of a day where she considered herself available, she made the only choice that made any sense. Even I can admit that. Even still, she's... she's happy. As happy as when she met Penn, maybe even moreso. And that's all that matters, right? All I want is for Bone to be happy. To see that pure, wide smile and those sparkling blue eyes, radiant with life, no matter who gives that to her. So in the end, that's the end of that, all over again.

She's happy. She's safe. And that's enough.

...

......

......fuck.

"...aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"