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Chapter 4

When I went to school the next day, everything started off as normal. Well, mostly normal. I felt lighter, happier, more comfortable with myself. I felt that I could finally breathe, that I wasn't overthinking every action I made. That, if someone found out I was gay, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Now, things felt different. After I told my friends I didn't care who knew. I wasn't going to scream it from the rooftops or say it every chance I could. I was just going to be myself. A person who I had started to lose, and almost had forgotten how to be.

The first class wasn't anything too out of the ordinary. The usual chatter amongst students, a few extra secret conversations took place. I couldn't hear anything, it had all muffled together. Axel came in right as the bell rang, a little late for him. He didn't say anything as the teacher started to talk.

As the day went on, I felt as though word had gotten out. I was probably being self-conscious but, I could feel a different vibe in the air. I also felt like people were looking at me as well, judging me or thinking I was lesser than. It wasn't a feeling I was unfamiliar with though.

It wasn't until I was on my way to my third period, Biology. As I walked through the hall I kept getting a strange look from other students. Some looked at me in disproval and others, mostly women, smiled as if encouraging. I also noticed that others would whisper to one another once we made eye contact.

I was walking down the hallway with my books in hand, no different than normal when another guy bumped into my shoulder aggressively. I bent down to get my stuff when he kicked one of my books down the hall.

"Watch it faggot." He said aggressively.

I froze there for a second. They knew, the school knew and I didn't even have a chance to tell my friends. Who told them? I thought. I started to run down possible connections in my head on who could have said something.

Morgan went to another school. It's possible she could have said something and it got back around. Max wouldn't have said something, he's not the type to gossip. My dad barely spoke to me last night so I doubt it was even him. Mom. It was my mother. She works with Carol Greene's mother. Shit!

Carol was in my English class last semester, she knew exactly who I was and she was a gossip queen. It was like she fed off other people's lives. If anyone was going to spread news around fast it was her. I had no doubt in my mind that my friends knew.

Once I got to class, I was nervously waiting to get to lunch. I had hoped they didn't find out. There was nothing worse than to discover something second hand, especially when it was someone you knew.

Finally the lunch bell rang and I rushed out of the room. Normally I take my time and funnel out with the others but, as soon as that ring came across the speakers I leapt out of my chair and down the hall. I rushed down the corridor and made it to the cafeteria. It was nearly empty. Only a few people had gotten there already and were eating or in line.

I was so anxious I didn't even have an appetite. I sat there waiting for my friends to come and sit down. I got more and more nervous the more I saw students walking out of the food area. I kept thinking each one was my friends. Finally I saw Derrick and right behind him was Chris and Caleb.

The three of them approached the table and sat down. Before I could get a word out Derrick spoke up.

"You're gay?" He asked. "Why didn't you tell me? We've known each other for years and I find out from Chris?"

"Trust me. That is not how I wanted you to find out. I wanted to tell you. I planned on telling you after school." I replied. "Please believe me."

"And what about us? Were we going to find out with the rest of the school like we didn't know you or something?" Christopher had an agitated tone in his voice.

"No, I was going to tell you personally. I just-"

"Just what, Colton. Thought that this was easier? Like our feelings don't matter? That all of this was about you and screw everyone else?" Christopher interrupted.

"Of course not. And are you seriously making this about you?" I was shocked. I felt like I was being attacked by the very people I trusted. "This is something that effects my life. Every aspect of it. It's not an easy thing to come to terms with let alone tell someone."

"So he is right. Your friends don't matter?" Caleb interjected.

"Oh, come on, Caleb. You? I'm more than certain you're gay too, you just don't have the balls to admit it." I blurted out without thinking. I was shocked that I just said that. Even if Caleb was gay the last thing any homosexual should do is pull another out of the closet. It's not their place, it wasn't mine to say that.

"Wow, Colt. That's low. Even for you." Caleb and Christopher stood up and walked to another table.

I turned and looked at Derrick who was visually contemplating what to do. "Dee, man. Please."

Derrick stood up and looked back down at me. "I thought our friendship meant something to you but, I guess I was wrong."

He started to walk away when I tried to stop him. "Derrick, please don't go." I felt the tears making their return to my eyes.

Derrick kept walking and he joined the twins at another table. I looked around the lunch room and saw everyone looking at me. The sounds of conversation fell as they all watched my friendships fall apart. What felt like my life falling apart. I looked up and saw Axel sitting at the same table as yesterday, he was looking at me too. Once I made eye contact with him he looked back down at his food.

All I wanted to do was leave but, I couldn't. I knew if I stood up from that table I was accepting defeat. I was accepting that I was too embarrassed to be seen and that was something I wasn't ready to admit. I wasn't about to give anyone the satisfaction.

The room started to fill back up with conversation, and I closed my eyes and put my face in my paws. That's when two seniors came over to me and poured a bucket of glitter over my head. I felt the glitter envelope my body, it sounded like rain as it passed my ears. I shot my head up in disbelief and saw Sean, a tall muscular horse and Craig a husky bear, standing over me.

"You have to make sure you sparkle, fairy." Sean mocked me and the cafeteria erupted in laughter.

I was coated ear to toe in rainbow glitter. Glitter they got from the home economics room no doubt. I looked at myself, the glitter dug into my fur with each movement, it stuck to my clothes, it stuck to everything. I tried to brush some of it off but, it was no use.

I got up from the table and walked calmly out of the lunchroom, laughed out was more like it. I did my best not to cry. I didn't want to give them the benefit of the doubt, I just wanted to leave.

Once I was down the hall I made my way to the bathrooms. I walked in and luckily it was empty. I shook my entire body as hard as I could in an attempt to get off as much glitter as I could. I grabbed a paper towel and wet it in the sink. I proceeded to rub it over my arms and head but, a good portion of glitter remained.

I stopped trying to get the glitter out and put both my paws on the side of the sink. I watched as the water pushed the glitter down the drain. I watched as my own tears dropped down into the sink as I finally let myself cry. I looked up at the mirror just above the sink.

My white fur was covered in multicolored specs. I looked like a completely different husky than I was before. I felt like a completely different one at that. Just a few hours ago I felt so free and now it felt like my world was crashing down on me. My friends are mad at me, my family accepts me, my school makes fun of me, what all do I have left? I didn't graduate for another year, I couldn't handle the level of torment for another year.

The door to the bathroom swung open and Derrick walked into the room. I looked over at him as he stood motionless in the doorway. It was as if he wanted to do something but, his lack of motion said otherwise. I was so upset and pissed that I pushed right past him and headed out of the bathroom just as the bell began to ring. I walked back to my biology class still covered in glitter.

I wasn't going to give the bullies the satisfaction of what just happened. I was going to complete the rest of my day with my head held high, no matter how badly I wanted to get into my car and leave. No matter how conflicted I felt.

When the last bell of the day rang, I felt a little happier. I quickly made my way to my locker and stuffed my bag full of my books and headed out to the parking lot. I got to my car in the back of the parking lot and that's when I noticed a giant penis drawn on my front windshield and the word 'QUEER' on the back.

I stood there for a moment and just stared at it contemplating what to do. I wanted to wipe it off but, I knew people would watch. Instead I left it, instead I planned to go to a car wash nearby and scrub it off there. I didn't want my brother or my family to see it. Luckily Derrick was staying late anyway.

With a quick click of the remote I popped open the trunk, took off my shirt and tossed it inside. I grabbed a towel I kept in there for emergencies so I had something to sit on when I drove. I hated glitter and I didn't want it to get all over my car either.

I was just about to shut my truck when I felt a shove. I threw my hands forward to catch myself and that's when I realized what was about to happen. Before I had a chance to react my legs were lifted into the air and I was shoved further into the trunk. I started to swing my arms and legs, squirming to get free. I couldn't believe I was being shoved into my own trunk.

"Quit fighting fag. You like taking it in the back." I heard Sean say behind me.

I looked up from a moment, my body now completely inside the trunk. For a moment I looked up and saw the two looking back at me as they shut the door. Within a second I was encased in darkness as the trunk latched.

For a moment I contemplated on what to do. I had my keys in my paws so I could pop open the trunk but, it was going to be humiliating crawling out of my trunk with everyone watching. Screw it I thought. I hit the button on my remote and opened the trunk.

The trunk unlatched but the door didn't open. I hit the button a second time and put pressure on the lid and pushed up. The lid lifted slightly and then came back down and latched once more. The car bounced from the force. The two was sat on top of the trunk.

I could hear the faint sounds of laughter on the outside as my peers watched. That's when I decided to do nothing. I just laid in the trunk. If I didn't give them a reaction they may leave. I waited for fifteen minutes before I tried again and when I did the trunk opened. I looked around the parking lot and most of the cars were gone already.

Sean was achieving his goal in publically humiliating me and I was doing everything in me to not let it show but, it was breaking through my walls. Walls I had spent a year building. I grabbed the towel out of the trunk and put it on the drivers seat and got inside.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I felt lost, I felt humiliated, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't keep this up. I know it was the first day of me being out but, it felt like it was a lot. I don't think I could handle more. Surely it was just because it was the first day, maybe now that it was out of their system it could be better.